12 hours ago, BilllyGOAT said:

Even if a man is still in good physical shape and could also pass at quick glance for someone 15 years younger than their actual age, is it unkind for them to get involved with women who are half their age?

Personally, I tend to think it is not fair, like being offered a free mint and grabbing the whole jar, which is why I avoid it. Even if some women do not seem to mind at first, and even if basic attraction is there, I still feel that it is not what they would truly choose for themselves if everything were equal. If they have a lot to offer then I think they deserve more, and many would be better matched with someone closer to their own age, someone who shares a similar level of life experience, and a similar stage in terms of what they want from life.

There is also the question of what someone older brings into that dynamic beyond just appearance or attraction, and a bit of financial stability. With age often comes more cynicism, more fixed views, and less openness to new ideas or spontaneous adventure. That shift can quietly shape the relationship in ways that are not always obvious at the beginning. Because of that, it can feel unfair for a younger person to end up adapting to someone who has already done most of what they want to do in life and is no longer approaching the world with the same sense of exploration and possibility.

There is also a sense that I would be taking something that does not really belong to me, even if it is offered freely. I remember what it was like to be at that earlier stage of life, wanting to travel, explore, and figure things out. It does not feel right to step into that space from a completely different point in life and expect it to work on equal footing.

Of course, many men do not think this way and are comfortable pursuing relationships with much younger women as long as they themselves feel happy and fulfilled. From my perspective though, it can sometimes come across as selfish and self absorbed, focusing only one's own personal satisfaction without fully considering the other person’s longer term hopes and desires.

For me, even if the opportunity is there, it is something I usually choose not to act on.

Only usually.

OK.

12 hours ago, Hummin said:

As long as they are above a certain age, they can do what they want. But my best guess is that age is quite individual from one person to another.

A 50–60 year old man, or older, chasing 25 year old women or younger is, in my eyes, questionable what motives they might have.

Anyway, sometimes, sometimes destiny has its own strange way in life.

What's questionable about wanting a shag?

12 hours ago, BilllyGOAT said:

Nothing I guess. It's hard to explain the feeling. Still feels a bit unfair in a way. Like the woman is being shortchanged. Like she hands you a twenty to change for her into smaller bills and you hand her back a ten and a five and only four ones. She notices, but doesn't complain because she thinks it is still good enough. But it is still unfair to her even though she accepts it.

Feeling that some anonymous person is being unfair to themselves despite they themselves having no such feelings at all?

That's just being woke.

2 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

I've become more versatile with age, it doesn't have to be younger women anymore, restricts you too much, for me it was an accidental encounter which changed my thinking

Personally never restricted dating by age, though compatibility on both sides is an imperative for a long term serious relationship. Older women know what they want, another body next to them. Young women want the security of direction and guidance, unless of course she’s a beggar.

Edited May 24May 24 by novacova

1 minute ago, NanLaew said:

What's questionable about wanting a shag?

Are we talking about prostitutes or normal girls?

There is some moral to consider for those who have moral. But if you do not have any moral, then what is really to discuss?

Being well above 50, I would not be entertained or comfortable dating a 20 year old. For me it would most likely feel like a sugar daddy project.

Anyway, we just have to accept that many men get turned on by younger women, for whatever reasons that might be. Others simply feel more comfortable with mature company.

And by younger women I do not mean women above 30, or even 25. At that age they should be grown enough to know what they want. Still, it surprises me how immature and naive some women can be, especially in Asia, where age and life experience do not always match.

That can only be answered on a case by case basis. Met my TL 17 years ago, we got two beautiful kids, share a decent middle class lifestyle, ans still have sex once or twice a week, she is now 44 and I am 73, and waning of course.

A fair deal for both of us I reckon..

What the OP fails to mention is that crossing 6 to 12 time zones, or the Equator, makes a man infinitely more handsome, so no wonder 20-something Thai women are enamored of chubby old curmudgeons from the West.

Case in point: the other evening I was enjoying a meal al fresco in an area with a few massage parlors adjacent to the restaurant. Every Western man who ventured nearby was called out to by the massage women as "Han sum Man! Come here!"

The men were not Brad Pitt look-alikes. They clearly hadn't seen the inside of a gym since at least the Reagan years and the Cold War Era. Most had massive bellies, jowls that reflected Newtonian forces, and many were heavily tatted and clad in cargo shorts and wifebeaters. One of my dinner mates called them "LBH", a term of which I was unaware. He said it referred to "losers back home". That sounded a bit harsh, though he was a young (actual) Israeli veteran of the Shaldag, still combat-ready, so in comparison physically he looked like a better choice for women seeking a compatible gene pool mixer. Still, it was harsh.

Well, crossing those time zones or the Equator seems to confer upon men some sort of magic, or perhaps it's an equation from Maxwell I had forgotten.

If the women of Thailand are okay with that, if what they get from it is something more than the short term transactional relationship the massage women were seeking, so be it. This is the Land of Smiles, after all, and the fat tatted guy in cargo shorts and a wifebeater is likely to wear a smile as wide as the Mekong River at the height of the rainy season, when he presses his wrinkled body against her soft and smooth skin. Plus, in a hundred years all parties will be worm food or ashes, so it won't make a lick of difference for the remainder of eternity.

32 minutes ago, Peter Crow said:

That can only be answered on a case by case basis. Met my TL 17 years ago, we got two beautiful kids, share a decent middle class lifestyle, ans still have sex once or twice a week, she is now 44 and I am 73, and waning of course.

A fair deal for both of us I reckon..

When you take responsibility, it is different from some older men who date for sport and try to collect as many women as possible. Especially women who are serious and vulnerable women who actually hope for something long term.

13 hours ago, Hummin said:

A 50–60 year old man, or older, chasing 25 year old women or younger is, in my eyes, questionable what motives they might have.

If it were me, and I have been in this situattion, my motive was that me and a beautiful girl get a good time in bed.

According to my wife and many of her friends thai men are too immature, are butterflies, want to drink , do not show them love plus want their wives to support them so they prefer western men that are not like this. I am 73 and my wife is 56, a 17 year difference, we have been together many years and are very content with each other, should also point out she has more money than me and was the one that approached me. I do look younger than my age and also think younger, we stay together because of our feelings for each other, even she admits that many couples are together for financial reasons with the thai women often having more than one western man supporting them. A lot of the greater age difference is due to the woman wanting financial comfort and the man wanting to stoke his ego plus have a woman that will do whatever he wants, have to admit, when I see a man with a female young enough to be his daughter I just shake my head but if they are both confortable with it who am I to knock them.

5 hours ago, BilllyGOAT said:

That's so sweet. Nearly brought a tear to my eye. Now you've made me want to have a sweet little Thai wife when I grow up one day.

I know you're being sarcastic, but many of the Thai girls you meet while not sitting on a bar stool are really very sweet. They believe the fairytale.

Mine made an offering of a red rose at the Central World shrine, where many Thai girls believe they can find love, and the next day she spotted me, and thought "oh, a falang, nevermind, he must be the one".

She's from Samut Prakarn, the low wage powerhouse for many Bangkok businesses, and she travelled to work each day on the bus, as the BTS was too expensive.

Over the last 16 years she's been my utterly faithful ompanion through work crises, health scares (she caught Dengue, I got pneumonia), and financial ups and downs. She revitalised my interest in travel as I could show her the world. She'd never been on an aeroplane, but now she's seen snow in Japan, snorkelled in the Maldives, visited London, Hong Kong, Seoul and more. I also took her to a polo match for the full Pretty Woman 'divot stomping' experience, although she found the HiSo women a little intimidating.

I still sometimes worry if I took advantage of her financial situation, but from her viewpoint our relationship was fate and "elle ne regrette rien".

Edited May 24May 24 by Kinnock

13 minutes ago, wil iam not said:

If it were me, and I have been in this situattion, my motive was that me and a beautiful girl get a good time in bed.

Equality is a good word, for some.

Friends with benefits can be fair enough if both know the deal. Especially when you travel and are never in one place long enough to build something serious.

But picking up poor young girls, using them for holiday purposes, and leaving them with hope for more, is something else.

Equality is a good word, for some

17 minutes ago, seajae said:

According to my wife and many of her friends thai men are too immature, are butterflies, want to drink , do not show them love plus want their wives to support them so they prefer western men that are not like this.

Reminds me of a girl jumping up on my lap after serving my very first beer in that bar, while a woman chasing a man with a beer bottle in her hand outside, and she turns her head to me, and says, my bf is a butterfly,,,,,,,,,,

Im sure there is many thai men who are immature, same as thai women, but it is a bit to generalised. Many young men working hard to build a future with their girl friends, so,

15 hours ago, BilllyGOAT said:

Even if a man is still in good physical shape and could also pass at quick glance for someone 15 years younger than their actual age, is it unkind for them to get involved with women who are half their age?

Personally, I tend to think it is not fair

You seem to be under the impression that those relationships are forced on the girls and that they have no choice; that would be unfair but, as they do have a choice, and no one compels them to enter into those relationships, "fairness" doesn't come into it.

24 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

You seem to be under the impression that those relationships are forced on the girls and that they have no choice; that would be unfair but, as they do have a choice, and no one compels them to enter into those relationships, "fairness" doesn't come into it.

Men used to discuss sport and business. This forum is now a gossip forum.

2 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

27 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

You seem to be under the impression that those relationships are forced on the girls and that they have no choice; that would be unfair but, as they do have a choice, and no one compels them to enter into those relationships, "fairness" doesn't come into it.

Men used to discuss sport and business. This forum is now a gossip forum

Very odd that you think those discussions are requirements to qualify be a man.

5 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Men used to discuss sport and business. This forum is now a gossip forum.

Are you implying that the crusty old geezers here have digressed into damsels?

Nowt wrong with choppin some tidy flange, 18 to 25 is the sweet spot.

Edited May 24May 24 by Ralf001

8 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Very odd that you think those discussions are requirements to qualify be a man.

Who cares about the relationships of others? The obsession on here is odd. Do what you want with a consenting adult.

25 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Men used to discuss sport and business. This forum is now a gossip forum.

Men have always discussed women, and it makes a refreshing change from US politics.

15 hours ago, BilllyGOAT said:

I am describing a situation where a woman is genuinely attracted to an older man because he appears much younger than his age.

You’re assuming she’s attracted to someone looking young.

There are gerontophiles, those who are ONLY attracted to older guys, typically 60+. They don’t want them looking young, quite the opposite.

4 minutes ago, JBChiangRai said:

You’re assuming she’s attracted to someone looking young.

There are gerontophiles, those who are ONLY attracted to older guys, typically 60+. They don’t want them looking young, quite the opposite.

Usually women who admire their dad or didnt have one.

7 minutes ago, JBChiangRai said:

There are gerontophiles, those who are ONLY attracted to older guys, typically 60+. They don’t want them looking young, quite the opposite.

My wife is a gerontophile, shocking!

2 minutes ago, novacova said:

My wife is a gerontophile, shocking!

My partner too

6 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Usually women who admire their dad or didnt have one.

I’m sure that explains some of them, but not all.

13 minutes ago, JBChiangRai said:

There are gerontophiles, those who are ONLY attracted to older guys, typically 60+. They don’t want them looking young, quite the opposite.

Otherwise known as those marrying for money

Just now, scubascuba3 said:

Otherwise known as those marrying for money

Clearly, you have never dated a Gerontophile.

4 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Otherwise known as those marrying for money

True that. Money is the main driver of life.

36 minutes ago, novacova said:

My wife is a gerontophile, shocking!

If you were female would you want to date a 40yo hunk or a 70yo wrinkle man?

15 hours ago, BilllyGOAT said:

Even if a man is still in good physical shape and could also pass at quick glance for someone 15 years younger than their actual age, is it unkind for them to get involved with women who are half their age?

We are all slightly different; so, are older men and young women.

Some young or younger women prefers elder men, which can have several reasons range widely from financial security to just personal preference.

There is kind of "rule" – in my home country called "the old pig rule" – where half one's age plus 7 years is acceptable age for a partner. I.e., if you are 50 years old, it's 25+7 = 32+ years old partner. And if 70 years old, it's 35+7 = 42 years old partner, instead of dreaming about a 18 years old girlfriend, fresh from village or Pattaya's nightlife...😍

Back in my Scandinavian home country a huge age difference seems to be only accepted if you are famous or rich — preferably both — the it's cool...👍😎 In other situation you might be looked at as something between "an old pig" or having bought a SEA-wife, ...😐

However, in real life many men prefers young ladies — scientifically it's actually mention as a being in "good health", and nature's way of mingling with a partner young enough to ensure the survival of the species — but, I'm not sure that the studies includes if the number of elder men that prefers a young lady is similar to the number of young women that perfers elder men.

A relationship with a young partner can work well — even extremely well — if both parts are positive interested and prepared for the kind of challenges or excitement, such a relationship can bring.

My Thai girlfriend is 32 years younger than me — I was 54, she was 22 when we met, so age-difference more than 'half their age' — and so far we managed to stay together for 22 years. It was kind of 'business' from both side. For her it was me as provider — she however found that she likely could live happily with me — and from my side the business was: I take care of you now, then you take care of me, when I get old. The latter part seems to be questionable over time, as my girlfriend begin talking about that she might get old before me...🫨😄

As I said, we are all different. I me and my girlfriend's case, we have been travelling together and experienced lot's of new things, — including numerous 'spontaneous adventure' — and we share enough interests to have an exciting life together. Of course that also includes a bit of bending from both sides to cover both age gap and culture gap; but some bending might be needed in any kind of relationship, especially with a culture gap. Luckily, I'm still into learning lots of new stuff, and I'm still into trendy house-music and dancing to that; yes, "I got the power"...🦾

Another important thing in a relationship is both trust and to give space for differences — it's not that you need to be together 24/7 — which also might compensate for a large age difference.

5 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

If you were female would you want to date a 40yo hunk or a 70yo wrinkle man?

Why don’t you pose that question to women that reject pent-up over confident men that have no substance to offer.

28 minutes ago, novacova said:

Why don’t you pose that question to women that reject pent-up over confident men that have no substance to offer.

They want $$$$$