COUPLE IN THE NEXT BOOTH!

A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man. While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.

COUPLE IN THE NEXT BOOTH!

A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man. While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.

. Hilarious

I have lost my hand phone.

Peace on Earth, goodwill to all men.

I HATE MY NET!

Hair net, fish net, internet...?????

How can we offer sympathy if we don't know what you're talking about?

*inter*

This is the last time I ask!

Where is my phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

try calling it. It might answer (depends on how close you were).

try calling it. It might answer (depends on how close you were).

Never works

The phone always thinks you're cold calling and just ignores you.

Talking of cold calling <deleted> are those funny little texts we get with most of it blanked out?

My left eye is twitching - very annoying!

My friend's flight from Liverpool is delayed one hour, and it's just started snowing again. Rather large flakes (as seen from my cozy wozy living room)

My left eye is twitching - very annoying!

My cods are itchy and when ever I scratch them I get 'hard' but that dam_n itch just wont go away

My left eye is twitching - very annoying!

My cods are itchy and when ever I scratch them I get 'hard' but that dam_n itch just wont go away

You are old enough to know that you should use protection. Antibiotic time.

Sadie

Is that a furry rat?

I hate toy "dogs".

You havta

I'm getting two front teeth for xmas.

At my ex's family you stood a good chance of getting at least two knocked out at Christmas.

Alf's Christmas

:D

Very!

I am now officially single. It's been in the offing for a few months. Today I withdraw her permanant residency application (at her request). She'll go back to Thailand at the end of her current visa; August.

I am going to die a lonely grumpy old man.

I am now officially single. It's been in the offing for a few months. Today I withdraw her permanant residency application (at her request). She'll go back to Thailand at the end of her current visa; August.

I am going to die a lonely grumpy old man.

wow

I hate toy "dogs".

Why?

Hate is a strong word.

I have never played rugby in Wales.................Honest.

That said, I quite like Toy Dogs.

I hate toy "dogs".

Why?

Hate is a strong word.

Hate is indeed too strong a word. Perhaps it was a refelction of my present grumpy mood.

I "don't like" toy dogs because they are toys. Toys that yap and nip and pee on the carpet. Dogs are supposed to be able to rip the throat out of a mongoose eating your chickens, or rip the gonads off a burglar, and not yap and get under your feet.

I've never seen a German shepherd make the team on "Men in Black".

I've never seen a German shepherd make the team on "Men in Black".

I've never seen a pug do the things Rin Tin Tin can do.

I bought Rin Tin Tin out too. But too old now for the BK bar scene although if my memory serves, I concur a Pug dog would not have beeen as good, certainly not as imaginative.