I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.

I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with

their heart.

I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a

state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't

feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to

hear..." You're just not in touch with my emotional

needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a

man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me

for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time

with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big

unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on

several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to

take so I told her we'll just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get

a pair for each outfit.

We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond

earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one

wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis

bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She

was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is

all dear, let's go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't

feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for

awhile.

You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for

me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,

"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Loved this one

but perhaps tonight is wrong, add a few weeks more.

Good point.