An Elderly Irishman

[stumonster]

An elderly Irishman lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of

impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite chocolate

chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and

lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his

way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing

with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With laboured breath, he leaned

against the doorframe, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's

agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread

out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his

favourite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of

heroic love from his devoted Irish wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he

left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw

himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His

parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his

mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand

trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was

suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife......

"Piss off" she said, "they're for the funeral.