As A Generalisation

[Screws]

I remember years ago a woman aquaintance in the UK had badgered her husband about wanting a fur coat, he kept saying no. In bed one night and at about the point of no return for the man she put everything on hold and asked for the fur coat, anything, anything darling, now can we just get on with it... Needless to say she got the fur coat.

Is prostitution legal in the UK?

I wonder what she would have done if he had told his friends what she did?

And, why is it that everything a man does that is wrong gets broadcast over hill and dale, but if a woman makes an unwanted advance on a man, nobody ever hears about it?

Perhaps the problem is perception, seonal. There are sexual women around, you know.

[seonai]

AT LAST!!! Thank you Mssabai!!! That is exactly what I was asking. Yippee and it came from a woman

[Screws]

Are you serious Alex Lah? I think you made need to ask your mum again about what you did when you were 3 years old. I guess you have not been around young boys much since then either. All of them, without exception (and I do teach kindergarden so believe I am talking from experience) have a big fascination with their willies. Much more so than girls and their bits. Of course young girls take a pretty scientific interest too - it's all about discovering that you are a human and what that involves, but boys way surpass girls on this fascination. From the ages of 3-4 my younger brother literally hand his hand superglued to his bits to the point that it could get a little embaressing. My opinion is that most men still would be like this if it was culturally acceptable...in fact many still are, who has seen their other half watch TV with his hand down the front of his jeans? How many women do you see doing that? Same goes for scratching and 'readjusting' - would you ever see a woman doing that in public without thinking it was a little odd??

Don't really feel I can comment on the male sex drive, but if you look at evolutionary theory it makes a lot of sense that men would have a higher one than women and would also explain the penis worship... This does not mean that women do not have a high sex drive, only that most would prefer to act on a sex drive within a secure relationship.

I have only heard of one toddler masturbating - a friends 3 yo daughter. Not much point for a boy, things don't work till mid teens. Not to say that they don't touch. But the only kid I've seen watch TV with hand down jeans was a 15 yo - girl. Re the scratching an readjusting, dangly bits get caught and squashed in clothing and need to be adjusted to restore blood supply. Women don't have dangly bits down there, they have them up the top - and they adjust them often, too.

TIA for the praise, seonal!

[mssabai]

I have only heard of one toddler masturbating - a friends 3 yo daughter. Not much point for a boy, things don't work till mid teens. Not to say that they don't touch. But the only kid I've seen watch TV with hand down jeans was a 15 yo - girl. Re the scratching an readjusting, dangly bits get caught and squashed in clothing and need to be adjusted to restore blood supply. Women don't have dangly bits down there, they have them up the top - and they adjust them often, too.

TIA for the praise, seonal!

You have misread Screws. I am in no way talking about masturbation. This tends to happen as covertly as possibly at a much older age and usually is the reason why boys stop being so public with their willy love (because then the link between sex and the organs is made and they become 'rude')

What these children are doing is just playing - as they do with other body parts (noses are a favourite also). They are not doing it for sexual pleasure - as you say, they don't get any. But boys have a much bigger fascination with doing it than girls and I find that curious.

I wasn't talking about kids watching TV with their hands down their pants actually - I was talking about the other half! Fully grown men! The fascination never really seems to go away then...

And I don't want to get into graphic details, but women can also get a little uncomfortable down there. Too tight knickers, irritating fabrics etc....but we generally would never sort this out in full view. This is not a criticism of men, merely an observation.

[sylviex]

1.

The concept of childhood masturbation was recognized as earlyas 1909 by Still.¹ Masturbation involves stimulation of thegenitals and typically begins at 2 months of age, although inutero masturbatory behavior has been reported also.^2,3 Incidenceof this behavior typically peaks at 4 years of age and againin adolescence, occurring in 90% to 94% of males and 50% to60% of females at some point in their lives.² Although a normalbehavior in childhood, it often is unrecognized by familiesand caregivers, especially because genital manipulation frequentlyis absent.^2,4,

pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/116/6/1427

2. From an interesting discussion at abc.net.au/rn/talks/8.30/helthrpt/stories/s11325.htm :

"Marita McCabe: There's some difference between boys and girls. Boys discover their genitals from a very, very early age, from the time they're on the change table being left there before they can even turn over, they start discovering that playing with their penis is quite a pleasurable activity.

...

Marita McCabe: Girls don't generally discover their genitals at that age, and this is of course because girls' genitals are more hidden, and so the source of sexual pleasure for the girls, the clitoris, takes a bit longer to discover. For some girls it can be a very long period of time, it might be until they get to their 40s or 50s or maybe never do they discover their genitals as a source of sexual pleasure. But for others, they may when they're toddlers, find that it's really nice to rub up against the bed or to rub up against a pillow or something like that. So with girls it varies enormously, but with boys they're more likely to discover their genitals as a source of pleasure from a very early age."

[barky]

I have thought about this for many years and would like to ask you gals out there for your opinion... Do you think that men are almost a different species from women and that they are controlled by their d****

Thai or Farang, men seem to me to be partly controlled by their d**** and partly by a need to be mothered by women...

What do you think?

Seonai, Seriously now, you knew the answer to this before you even wrote the post. The answer is generally yes you and everybody knows it, and so what? There's far more to each gender than the other bother to consider. That's the way it has been, is, and will be amen. Don't worry, men have an equal number of stereotypes for women too. What brought this on? Having man troubles are we? Ah men/women can't live with them, can't live without them. Oh this discussion will go on forever ( a couple hundred thousand years so far). I'm bored with it already...again.Vive la differance mon cherie.

[ade100]

AT LAST!!! Thank you Mssabai!!! That is exactly what I was asking. Yippee and it came from a woman

I think this argument is just a teeny bit offensive to men because it denies the many emotions, beliefs, drives, hopes, dreams and desires that men have.

Do you know what men talk about when they get together? I know the stereotype answer to this is sport, sex, motorbikes, etc. In my experience it is firstly career and how they are making their mark on the world and earning enough money to build a family and secondly their children.

Lastly, I would say that in many cultures there are a limited number of emotions that men are permitted to express (I know where I grew up, being able to express or articulate anything was a sign of weakness). Anger and sex urges are often the only sociably acceptable ones. So often when men are displaying crazy sex driven behaviour they may really be saying that they feel lonely, they want to be loved, they want to start a family, they want to be accepted by their social group, they feel frustrated in their lives, etc.

Edited March 12, 2008 by ade100

[twschw]

Very nicely worded, ade100, as usual. I doubt anyone could have made the point better than you. You have written everything that I wanted to say but didn't know how to say it with out offending someone.

[sylviex]

So often when men are displaying crazy sex driven behaviour they may really be saying that they feel lonely, they want to be loved, they want to start a family, they want to be accepted by their social group, they feel frustrated in their lives, etc.

So ... might it not be time to liberate yourselves ?

[mssabai]

So often when men are displaying crazy sex driven behaviour they may really be saying that they feel lonely, they want to be loved, they want to start a family, they want to be accepted by their social group, they feel frustrated in their lives, etc.

So ... might it not be time to liberate yourselves ?

I have tears rolling down my face. That is the funniest 2 posts I have ever read here.

[micksterbs]

Of course, there's also a more mundane, practical side to this. Adolescent boys soon learn that if they don't "twang-the-wire" on a reasonably regular basis, nature will do it for them in the form of a very pleasant dream but a very unpleasant, and possibly embarassing, awakening. As far as I know, this never goes away. So, in addition to all the wonderful, life-affirming (hopefully) reasons for sex within a LTR, a man is simply following nature's imperative.

[ade100]

So often when men are displaying crazy sex driven behaviour they may really be saying that they feel lonely, they want to be loved, they want to start a family, they want to be accepted by their social group, they feel frustrated in their lives, etc.

So ... might it not be time to liberate yourselves ?

It was already tried in the UK. Not successful. The women vetoed it. You might remember the "Modern Man" project in the 90s. The Modern Man was happy to talk about his feelings, wasn't ashamed to cry in public and wanted to do his fair share of the household chores - cooking, cleaning, ironing, whatever. After their initial bewilderment, women came to a unanimous decision and declared they hated the Modern Man. "What we want", they demanded," is a real man, strong man, tough man. Someone who can sweep us off our feet. If we want someone to discuss feelings with, we have our girlfriends" they complained.

So the Modern Man project was quickly abandoned and the much more successful "New Lad" project was launched...

Edited March 14, 2008 by ade100

[ya5702]

Try lust.Or why do we see so many old farang guys with young girls?

Because there is a choice and they are better than old ones

Older men do not need Viagra! They need younger women! It's all in the "head"!

[mssabai]

So often when men are displaying crazy sex driven behaviour they may really be saying that they feel lonely, they want to be loved, they want to start a family, they want to be accepted by their social group, they feel frustrated in their lives, etc.

So ... might it not be time to liberate yourselves ?

It was already tried in the UK. Not successful. The women vetoed it. You might remember the "Modern Man" project in the 90s. The Modern Man was happy to talk about his feelings, wasn't ashamed to cry in public and wanted to do his fair share of the household chores - cooking, cleaning, ironing, whatever. After their initial bewilderment, women came to a unanimous decision and declared they hated the Modern Man. "What we want", they demanded," is a real man, strong man, tough man. Someone who can sweep us off our feet. If we want someone to discuss feelings with, we have our girlfriends" they complained.

So the Modern Man project was quickly abandoned and the much more successful "New Lad" project was launched...

Oooooh, are we really going to go down this path?

The problem with the modern man project were twofold. The first hurdle being that the modern man would like to switch between modern man and caveman at will (usually in accordance with the football schedule). Yeah sure he would cook, do the ironing etc if he had a bit of free time and he fancied trying out Nigella Lawson's latest recipe but what was lacking was the consistency that comes with knowing that if you don't do it, no-one else will. Then the not so modern woman would have to clean up after he had created his masterpiece whilst he sat on the sofa and marveled at his own brilliance.

The second problem that came with the modern man was what I will refer to as the 'martyr syndrome'. We were happy that he did the chores and took the load of us but by jesus did we hear about it after. Often there was an expectation of praise similar to what would have been expected if they had cured cancer. To be forced to give thanks and praise for tasks being done that women all over the world do every day of their lives without any kind of recognition (except of course if they aren't done) made us so sick to the stomach that we thought sod it. Bring back the caveman because in between cleaning up the kitchen after some culinary genius has been at work, working a full time job, taking care of the kids we really don't have time to sit down for a hour long ego stroke because the ironing has been done (badly).

[micksterbs]

So often when men are displaying crazy sex driven behaviour they may really be saying that they feel lonely, they want to be loved, they want to start a family, they want to be accepted by their social group, they feel frustrated in their lives, etc.

So ... might it not be time to liberate yourselves ?

It was already tried in the UK. Not successful. The women vetoed it. You might remember the "Modern Man" project in the 90s. The Modern Man was happy to talk about his feelings, wasn't ashamed to cry in public and wanted to do his fair share of the household chores - cooking, cleaning, ironing, whatever. After their initial bewilderment, women came to a unanimous decision and declared they hated the Modern Man. "What we want", they demanded," is a real man, strong man, tough man. Someone who can sweep us off our feet. If we want someone to discuss feelings with, we have our girlfriends" they complained.

So the Modern Man project was quickly abandoned and the much more successful "New Lad" project was launched...

Oooooh, are we really going to go down this path?

The problem with the modern man project were twofold. The first hurdle being that the modern man would like to switch between modern man and caveman at will (usually in accordance with the football schedule). Yeah sure he would cook, do the ironing etc if he had a bit of free time and he fancied trying out Nigella Lawson's latest recipe but what was lacking was the consistency that comes with knowing that if you don't do it, no-one else will. Then the not so modern woman would have to clean up after he had created his masterpiece whilst he sat on the sofa and marveled at his own brilliance.

The second problem that came with the modern man was what I will refer to as the 'martyr syndrome'. We were happy that he did the chores and took the load of us but by jesus did we hear about it after. Often there was an expectation of praise similar to what would have been expected if they had cured cancer. To be forced to give thanks and praise for tasks being done that women all over the world do every day of their lives without any kind of recognition (except of course if they aren't done) made us so sick to the stomach that we thought sod it. Bring back the caveman because in between cleaning up the kitchen after some culinary genius has been at work, working a full time job, taking care of the kids we really don't have time to sit down for a hour long ego stroke because the ironing has been done (badly).

Ladies, don't forget that you are half of the team that brings-up men to be what they are. "As you sow, so shall you reap" and so on. You really think all men take after their fathers? I've always had the impression that they tend to look more to their mothers.

Personally, my dad was years ahead of his time. He used to say that there was only one thing he couldn't do that Mum could and that was breastfeed. Quite correct, of course, but he walked the walk too. He would often do all the cooking and the washing-up, not to be a "New-Man" (although that is my surname, funnily enough) but because he was a gentleman who loved his wife very much. I could go on and on about him because he was a great dad but I think you'd all be bored.

Not quite sure what my point was, if any(!), but just don't want to see this thread degenerate into a "woman-vs-man" rant.

Edited for typo.

Edited March 15, 2008 by micksterbs

[Aries74]

I have thought about this for many years and would like to ask you gals out there for your opinion... Do you think that men are almost a different species from women and that they are controlled by their d****

Thai or Farang, men seem to me to be partly controlled by their d**** and partly by a need to be mothered by women...

What do you think?

Men are controlled by their d***, and their d*** seem to be controlled by vagina. Somehow the females have got the upper hand.

[ade100]

So often when men are displaying crazy sex driven behaviour they may really be saying that they feel lonely, they want to be loved, they want to start a family, they want to be accepted by their social group, they feel frustrated in their lives, etc.

So ... might it not be time to liberate yourselves ?

It was already tried in the UK. Not successful. The women vetoed it. You might remember the "Modern Man" project in the 90s. The Modern Man was happy to talk about his feelings, wasn't ashamed to cry in public and wanted to do his fair share of the household chores - cooking, cleaning, ironing, whatever. After their initial bewilderment, women came to a unanimous decision and declared they hated the Modern Man. "What we want", they demanded," is a real man, strong man, tough man. Someone who can sweep us off our feet. If we want someone to discuss feelings with, we have our girlfriends" they complained.

So the Modern Man project was quickly abandoned and the much more successful "New Lad" project was launched...

Oooooh, are we really going to go down this path?

The problem with the modern man project were twofold. The first hurdle being that the modern man would like to switch between modern man and caveman at will (usually in accordance with the football schedule). Yeah sure he would cook, do the ironing etc if he had a bit of free time and he fancied trying out Nigella Lawson's latest recipe but what was lacking was the consistency that comes with knowing that if you don't do it, no-one else will. Then the not so modern woman would have to clean up after he had created his masterpiece whilst he sat on the sofa and marveled at his own brilliance.

The second problem that came with the modern man was what I will refer to as the 'martyr syndrome'. We were happy that he did the chores and took the load of us but by jesus did we hear about it after. Often there was an expectation of praise similar to what would have been expected if they had cured cancer. To be forced to give thanks and praise for tasks being done that women all over the world do every day of their lives without any kind of recognition (except of course if they aren't done) made us so sick to the stomach that we thought sod it. Bring back the caveman because in between cleaning up the kitchen after some culinary genius has been at work, working a full time job, taking care of the kids we really don't have time to sit down for a hour long ego stroke because the ironing has been done (badly).

LOL. Excellent post. I'd never thought of it like that before.

[PeaceBlondie]

I often wonder how many different planets or galaxies we expatriate men grew up on. There is no single definition of the role of a man in society. One of the things we learned a half century ago, was that once you were free, white, and 21, you could do whatever you wanted, within the law. Real men cry; real men rule have ruled empires even if they were gay and childless. A tiny, scrawny Indian man brought the British Empire to its knees, nonviolently, in the 20th century (and he was married at age 12 or 13, having sex with his wife). Men are not controlled by their willies, and woman are not controlled by their pussycats. Real adults spend 98% of their waking hours running corporations, changing diapers, taking the kids to football practice, helping with homework, and nursing their aged parents.

[ade100]

I often wonder how many different planets or galaxies we expatriate men grew up on. There is no single definition of the role of a man in society. One of the things we learned a half century ago, was that once you were free, white, and 21, you could do whatever you wanted, within the law. Real men cry; real men rule have ruled empires even if they were gay and childless. A tiny, scrawny Indian man brought the British Empire to its knees, nonviolently, in the 20th century (and he was married at age 12 or 13, having sex with his wife). Men are not controlled by their willies, and woman are not controlled by their pussycats. Real adults spend 98% of their waking hours running corporations, changing diapers, taking the kids to football practice, helping with homework, and nursing their aged parents.

Voila! I couldn't agree more.

[OxfordWill]

So, what did he do to you?

[intumult]

Are we controlled by our di*** ?

Not all of us

[bonobo]

To a large extent, men are controlled by their dicks. Or more directly, we do things to impress women (or other men, if we are gay). The need for sex is greatest when we are teens, and as we get older, we like initmacy better rather than the quick romp.

Yes, we have other needs and drives, but sex is right up there at the top, at least for most men.

As women get older, the pure drive for sex often becomes much stronger. Women who never would have thougth of it at 20 might pursue a one-night stand at 40.

A telling fact: the median number of sex partners for straight western women is 12, for gay, 13. For straight men, it is 18, for gay men, 650. This shows that men really want sex with many partners, but love and social restraints keep us in check.

I got these figures in a fantastic book called "Brain Sex," by a British Ph.D. She has alot of great observations and theories to explain those observations, and I tend to concur with most of them. I highly recommend the book to anyone curious about the differences in the genders.

[suegha]

Interesting statistics...

[micksterbs]

650?

[dee123]

....personally i like Nobby Stiles,...

[suegha]

650?

Yeah, and I'm not even gay!

[torrenova]

In a cave man, animalistic way we are ruled by our dicks and the desire to procreate but we harnessed that a long time ago (it does rear it's head sometimes though !).

We don't want a mother that is for sure but we do appreciate you understanding that we don't really want to be given a set of rules which we have to obey. You don't own us. There is no problem going down the pub after work sometimes even when it is not planned beforehand because we had a stressful day at work. You weren't cooking dinner and we had nothing planned so there is no need to get upset. Do we complain when you go out with your girlfriends ? No, we do not.

Most of us don't want other women. We want you but we want you to want us back. Don't try to change us because we don't want to change. You must have liked the way we were and we work dam_n hard to keep it like that so you must have changed.

Don't turn off the sex tap. You didn't when we met so why do it now ? Oh, I get it, no sex is punishment for us not changing which we told you we would not do before you moved into our, sorry my condo.

Life living with us should be simple. We have time for you and we have time for ourselves. During our time, you can do what you want. We will do some things together and have some time alone together but not 24/7/365 ok ?

Really though, we're easily pleased. You know by now what we like so give us some of that and don't hang it out like it is rationed because we'll soon stop wanting it altogether and change the brand we do like to one that is more available.

It's not all about sex but that is just about the first thing that goes down the toilet when there are problems and it shouldn't be. I don't think I know one guy who has cheated or left a partner who didn't already have problems in the bedroom department and nearly every guy would say things like "she doesn't want it nowadays" or similar.

So whatever the issues, have a think about how you are going to structure the argument and then take a deep breath. Treat us like adults and we can be. Treat us like adolescents and we can be as well. Then we'll just bugger off down the pub.

It is not our dicks that rule us, it is that we don't want to be ruled by anyone and girls often want to mother us or bring in rules that we quite happily lived without. When we argue, you blame everything on us and then on our dicks.

[kat]

In a cave man, animalistic way we are ruled by our dicks and the desire to procreate but we harnessed that a long time ago (it does rear it's head sometimes though !).

We don't want a mother that is for sure but we do appreciate you understanding that we don't really want to be given a set of rules which we have to obey. You don't own us.

How ironic. There is nothing WORSE than a man who thinks he is your ruler, or even worse, your father. Here's a newsflash TV readers: no woman wants a father in bed unless she is desperately poor or desperately fcked up.

[seonai]

Ha! Hi Kat

Edited April 4, 2008 by seonai

[kat]

Hi Seonai.

Cute butt/bum.