As A Generalisation

[Boo]

How do you know that jingthing is a women? I think it seems to be entirely your own chip that is the issue on this thread & not one that "that kind of woman" has.

[Boo]

I see 18 men posting in this thread so far including yourself distortedlink. Why does it always have to be assumed that every post that isn't to your liking been made by a women and then becomes a "feminist" issue?

[endure]

For the record Jingthing is a gay man.

[Jingthing]

So now you are saying that most males indulge in gay activities some time in their lives.

Well, Kinsey said just under 50 percent for during adulthood only. Depends on how you define it. Boys checking out their sizes isn't really gay activity, is it?

Males:

Kinsey estimated that nearly 46% of the male population had engaged in both heterosexual and homosexual activities, or "reacted to" persons of both sexes, in the course of their adult lives (p. 656, Male). 11.6% of white males (ages 20-35) were given a rating of 3 (about equal heterosexual and homosexual experience/response) on the 7-point Kinsey Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale for this period of their lives (Table 147, p. 651, Male).

[kat]

How do you know that jingthing is a women? I think it seems to be entirely your own chip that is the issue on this thread & not one that "that kind of woman" has.

" For the record Jingthing is a gay man."

"This is one of several typical feminist attitudes towards men, they believe that men are mainly sex crazy brutes and only live for the purpose of getting their end away and that women are the victims of men's brutish behaviour. These females certainly have a chip on their shoulder," blah, blah, blah.

oh dear, it must be a conspiracy ..... or irony.

Edited February 25, 2008 by kat

[distortedlink]

I see 18 men posting in this thread so far including yourself distortedlink. Why does it always have to be assumed that every post that isn't to your liking been made by a women and then becomes a "feminist" issue?

Firstly I do not consider every post that I don't like made by a woman as a feminist issue, far from it in fact. This is the chip on the shoulder syndrome.

I do consider that when women begin characterizing men as thinking with their private parts and all are having gay sex sometime in their lives as a feminist issue.

I am a male and you don't know me from Adam. I am a unique person in my own right and no one should label me for what I am because of my a gender

What I make here is fair comment and that's what Thaivisa`s all about, isn't it?

Edited February 25, 2008 by distortedlink

[Boo]

But as has already been pointed out, it was a man who posted the comments that upset you so much.

and no one should label me for what I am because of my a gender

Agreed but why not have the same view when making posts about women;

This is one of several typical feminist attitudes towards men, they believe that men are mainly sex crazy brutes and only live for the purpose of getting their end away and that women are the victims of men's brutish behaviour.

These females certainly have a chip on their shoulder, maybe because they are incapable at forming relationships with the opposite sex and even with other women, finding excuses blaming men for their own inadequacies.

It was a man who made the comments that you quoted & none of the (actual) women who have posted have laid any kind of blame on men for their own inadequacies??!?!!!!??. So far it has been a fair & balanced topic with reasonable input from both genders & will hopefully stay that way as long as people don't try to pull it off topic by hijakcing it with their own issues.

[camerata]

and is becoming even more obsessed with it now that he's 12. All his friends are the same, measuring it and checking each other's one out!!! I don't get it!!!

Around the time my young nephew "discovered" his penis (I think he was 5), my mum told me there was one day he came running up to her in the supermarket shouting, "I've got a willy! Come on Grandma, show us what you've got!!"

[camerata]

Thai or Farang, men seem to me to be partly controlled by their d**** and partly by a need to be mothered by women...

What do you think?

It seems to me that men are generally controlled by their ego - to a much greater extent than women. This is what accounts for the promiscuity and the unfaithfulness during mid-life crisis. After all, "lust" can be satisfied very easily by hand.

As for men wanting to be mothered, I think this is more an Asian thing. Japanese men are like that, from what I've read, and not a few Thais.

[sweetchariot]

I have thought about this for many years and would like to ask you gals out there for your opinion... Do you think that men are almost a different species from women and that they are controlled by their d****

Thai or Farang, men seem to me to be partly controlled by their d**** and partly by a need to be mothered by women...

What do you think?

Firstly what is a d****? Should I be feeling inadequate as my dick only has 4 letters? Maybe I should try some of these enlargement pills the spammers keep trying to sell me and see if I can get up to 5!

I did fake an orgasm once (only). After a few beers I went home with a girl I had met, and after starting to sober up all I could think was 'what am I doing' (she wasn't the prettiest girl I had ever met), that combined with the beer meant after about an hour of going at it, still nothing happening. Anyway wearing a condom, in a dark room, a few grunts and run to the toilet - she was none the wiser. At the time I thought it was the only way to get rid of her.

I think Nidge hit the nail on the head with his diet analogy. As for how much is enough, that varies from man to man, and from day to day. I think once a day is probably the bare minimum for most men under 50.

Another factor is the mentality of a man's peers. In the UK on a lads night out it would be a challenge for anyone, married single or whatever, to get laid, or at least get to first base - a bit of an ego/ macho type thing I guess. Over here even the ugly shy ones can get laid, and there is no 'glory' in it, so my challenge to myself on a lads night out is not to.

I have managed to stay monogamous for the last 18 months, but it is a concious, willful decision. Too easy to be lead by your d***(*) over here, it takes a bigger man not to be.

[Momo8]

So in other words men are not ruled by their d***s but by the location their d***k is in Sweetchariot? So don't blame the guy blame geography? Seems like twisted logic.

[sweetchariot]

So in other words men are not ruled by their d***s but by the location their d***k is in Sweetchariot? So don't blame the guy blame geography? Seems like twisted logic.

Yeah it is a bit twisted - just my experience.

[isabelle17]

Well...I have a lot of guy friends who don't have sex often. And overall, they seem fine...theyre not interested in one night stands. And no, they are not gay. Perfectly straight. They only have sex with their girlfriends and when they dont have a girlfriend, they dont have sex....

So..the whole "diet" thing doesnt really make sense to me. I know many guys who havent had sex recently...and I have never heard about this "diet" thing until I read it. I think it sounds...ridiculous. Honestly...so if guys cant go without having sex for a few days, a few weeks, a few months, or whatever,what do they do? Mastrubate the whole time? Or pick up girls who are easy and probably have loads of stds from sleeping around all the time?

It kind of makes me sad that men NEED sex that much. I mean, woman love sex probably almost as much as men...but at least women can have more self control....but thats just my personal opinion. And no, I am not a hardcore feminist. Just pointing out that from my own experience...women are generally more picky as to who they have sex with because I think we tend to care more about the emotional aspect of it? I dont know. This is just my opinion anyway.

[Momo8]

Very true Isabelle.The vast majority of women need the emotional bond when they have sex whereas for men it's a driving physical need.Then again women have physical needs too.So definitely based on the individual.Some people are just more highly sexed than others.

[mssabai]

Lust is a powerful force though.Not restricted to either gender.What makes people different from animals is self control and well human nature and all that some people just don't have any self control.

Hear hear. I really think that women get caught up in lust just as much as men, however it plays itslef out a bit differently - they tend to combine this physical lust with an emotional bond too and then can often end up mistaking this lust for love. Men I think are much better at being able to separate this lust from any deeper feelings.

As for the mothering thing though - I have to say that all of my ex boyfriends loved a bit of mothering. No not all the time and I can see how that would freak someone out, but little things like looking after his stuff in your handbag, mopping their feverish brow, reminding them about appointments or birthdays - I don't know any men who don't like this kind of treatment.

The reasons that many women think men are ruled by their penises is because to a lot of females nooky is very low on their agenda in life.

Distorted this is just not true - nooky is extremely high on my agenda! However what most women do want is great sex within a meaningful relationship. Most women do not like the idea of sleeping around when single because the way that men will treat you when you are doing it. It can make you feel pretty worthless and crappy. But just because they are not having lots of sex, doesn't mean they aren't thinking about it! I think you need to sit down with a few female friends and get them on this subject...

[Momo8]

And in a good relationship it's essential to have the same sex drive.Some women don't enjoy sex so men do get blamed for being ruled by their d***s if they stray.Then again if the woman has the higher sex drive and the husband doesn't put out and she strays well then,it's back to individual and self control.

[micksterbs]

Seonai, I think it is a bit of a generalisation, yep. It's a bit like men saying that all women lose interest in sex after marriage. That's never been my experience, funnily...

No, my dick doesn't rule me. I'm ruled by a far more-vital organ; my heart. That's got me into more trouble in my life than my dick ever did. I'm not saying that sex isn't important. If some doctor told me that I'd never have sex again, well, crestfallen isn't in it.

Certainly would not respond well to being mothered! Sometimes my wife slips into Mum mode and I just look at her in a certain way and we just fall about the place. Actually, that normally develops into something else. Hmm, perhaps that's why she does it...

[ade100]

Personally I think men and women are pretty much the same. Of course they both have a sex drive and a certain genetic drive to produce healthy off-spring. But both value friendship, loyalty and companionship.

[adjan jb]

My zizi (a French children's word) doesn't rule me but it does rule my wife.

[IMA_FARANG]

It seems to me the question can be resumed as why men need so many partners when women seem to be happy with only one. Once again the answer should be found in ancien chinese wisdom : "Have you ever seen a tea set with one cup and six pots" Whatever that means...

Although it is controversial.....from an evolutionary standpoint....one theory says that as females invest more effort in any one single offspring...raising them to maturity and such...they want one partner and a more permanent relationship to protect that offspring. Males, on the other hand, will gain more by spreading their potential offspring among many females...since they can spead the genes about throughout the pool of possible mates....and that way optimise their chance of getting at least one sucessful offspring to grow to maturity and perpetuate their genes.

Edited February 28, 2008 by IMA_FARANG

[Momo8]

Reminds me of an old joke: How come God gave a man a dick and a brain and only enough blood supply to control one at a time?!?

IMA sure as Suegha also put it,but what differentiates men from animals is intelligence supposedly.

[BangnaBound]

As for being controlled by their dicks. When i get regular sex my dick has no control over me. Once sex becomes infrequent/rationed/unavailable then it is a different matter. Think about when you diet. If you are not dieting you eat whenever you like and hardly give a thought about it. When you diet you feel hungry all the time and the desire to eat is nearly always in the front of your mind. At least that's how i feel.

I hope there are some other guys prepared to answer honestly so we can see some correlation, (or not).

Nidge.

I think this is the most accurate post on the whole thread.

Well...I have a lot of guy friends who don't have sex often. And overall, they seem fine...theyre not interested in one night stands. And no, they are not gay. Perfectly straight. They only have sex with their girlfriends and when they dont have a girlfriend, they dont have sex....

So..the whole "diet" thing doesnt really make sense to me. I know many guys who havent had sex recently...and I have never heard about this "diet" thing until I read it. I think it sounds...ridiculous. Honestly...so if guys cant go without having sex for a few days, a few weeks, a few months, or whatever,what do they do? Mastrubate the whole time? Or pick up girls who are easy and probably have loads of stds from sleeping around all the time?

It kind of makes me sad that men NEED sex that much. I mean, woman love sex probably almost as much as men...but at least women can have more self control....but thats just my personal opinion. And no, I am not a hardcore feminist. Just pointing out that from my own experience...women are generally more picky as to who they have sex with because I think we tend to care more about the emotional aspect of it? I dont know. This is just my opinion anyway.

Isabelle17 you have absolutely no clue about male sexual nature. And judging by the majority of posts so far, it looks like us men are mostly to blame for that. I hate to break it but your ‘guy friends who don't have sex often’ are mostly likely thinking about having sex with you the exact moment they say ‘they’re not interested in one night stands’. There is nothing wrong with them, it’s perfectly natural.

There is no comparison between the male and female sex drive. Women do not have more self control men, simply because you have less to control. It’s not about who loves sex more, or who enjoys sex more, as I’m sure women actually get the good end of the stick on this one. We have much higher levels of testosterone in our systems, and as ridiculous and sad as it sounds, this ‘whole "diet" thing’ is caused by biological differences in men and women. Most of us guys tend to down play this whole sex drive thing because it is very difficult to convey.

When I say there is no comparison between the male and female sex drives, I’m not talking about guys simply having much bigger sex drives, but the very nature of the drives are not comparable. Continuing with the food analogy, from my observations, the female sex drive sounds like a craving for good chocolate, but with men, its more like needing to fill and empty stomach.

As for what ultimately controls us, that’s up the guy, but generally if we keep our stomachs full, the big head is in control.

[Boo]

Continuing with the food analogy, from my observations, the female sex drive sounds like a craving for good chocolate, but with men, its more like needing to fill and empty stomach.

this sounds about right to me according to my own expereinces. My husband once tod me that for men there is no such thing as bad sex. Good, great, awsome sex is better but just sex is good enough.

[micksterbs]

As for being controlled by their dicks. When i get regular sex my dick has no control over me. Once sex becomes infrequent/rationed/unavailable then it is a different matter. Think about when you diet. If you are not dieting you eat whenever you like and hardly give a thought about it. When you diet you feel hungry all the time and the desire to eat is nearly always in the front of your mind. At least that's how i feel.

I hope there are some other guys prepared to answer honestly so we can see some correlation, (or not).

Nidge.

I think this is the most accurate post on the whole thread.

Well...I have a lot of guy friends who don't have sex often. And overall, they seem fine...theyre not interested in one night stands. And no, they are not gay. Perfectly straight. They only have sex with their girlfriends and when they dont have a girlfriend, they dont have sex....

So..the whole "diet" thing doesnt really make sense to me. I know many guys who havent had sex recently...and I have never heard about this "diet" thing until I read it. I think it sounds...ridiculous. Honestly...so if guys cant go without having sex for a few days, a few weeks, a few months, or whatever,what do they do? Mastrubate the whole time? Or pick up girls who are easy and probably have loads of stds from sleeping around all the time?

It kind of makes me sad that men NEED sex that much. I mean, woman love sex probably almost as much as men...but at least women can have more self control....but thats just my personal opinion. And no, I am not a hardcore feminist. Just pointing out that from my own experience...women are generally more picky as to who they have sex with because I think we tend to care more about the emotional aspect of it? I dont know. This is just my opinion anyway.

Isabelle17 you have absolutely no clue about male sexual nature. And judging by the majority of posts so far, it looks like us men are mostly to blame for that. I hate to break it but your 'guy friends who don't have sex often' are mostly likely thinking about having sex with you the exact moment they say 'they're not interested in one night stands'. There is nothing wrong with them, it's perfectly natural.

There is no comparison between the male and female sex drive. Women do not have more self control men, simply because you have less to control. It's not about who loves sex more, or who enjoys sex more, as I'm sure women actually get the good end of the stick on this one. We have much higher levels of testosterone in our systems, and as ridiculous and sad as it sounds, this 'whole "diet" thing' is caused by biological differences in men and women. Most of us guys tend to down play this whole sex drive thing because it is very difficult to convey.

When I say there is no comparison between the male and female sex drives, I'm not talking about guys simply having much bigger sex drives, but the very nature of the drives are not comparable. Continuing with the food analogy, from my observations, the female sex drive sounds like a craving for good chocolate, but with men, its more like needing to fill and empty stomach.

As for what ultimately controls us, that's up the guy, but generally if we keep our stomachs full, the big head is in control.

Spot-on, IMO. I think it's almost impossible for the sexes to get into each other's heads on this one; the two things are so different. I do envy women sometimes and their ability to be, maybe, more detached about sex. Also to be free from the need to "perform" which has surely led to more male anxiety than almost anything else.

[Momo8]

Not if you're on top.Why do men need to do all the work?

[PeaceBlondie]

Not if you're on top.Why do men need to do all the work?

Some us let the other man be on top.

[Heng]

Not ruled as in absolute control, but my privates do own either 49 or 51% of the voting shares depending on the day's trading activity. I have never had an issue with drugs (depsite having done just about everything short of IV stuff, sometimes for prolonged binges back in school), alcohol (ditto), cigarettes (ditto), eating (let myself balloon up to 40 lbs. over my current ideal weight for years after college... but have been at a steady 79 kgs for 6-7 years now), etc. ...but do have some problems resisting the urge to drop by a gent's club, massage parlour, Siam Hotel, etc. when I'm driving by. I rationalize it by telling myself I can afford it and that its simply human nature. While it's fun to have nearly infinite variety in one's sex life, I know it's not healthy and for someone in control of nearly every aspect of his life, it's difficult to accept that I have a problem.

[isabelle17]

As for being controlled by their dicks. When i get regular sex my dick has no control over me. Once sex becomes infrequent/rationed/unavailable then it is a different matter. Think about when you diet. If you are not dieting you eat whenever you like and hardly give a thought about it. When you diet you feel hungry all the time and the desire to eat is nearly always in the front of your mind. At least that's how i feel.

I hope there are some other guys prepared to answer honestly so we can see some correlation, (or not).

Nidge.

I think this is the most accurate post on the whole thread.

Well...I have a lot of guy friends who don't have sex often. And overall, they seem fine...theyre not interested in one night stands. And no, they are not gay. Perfectly straight. They only have sex with their girlfriends and when they dont have a girlfriend, they dont have sex....

So..the whole "diet" thing doesnt really make sense to me. I know many guys who havent had sex recently...and I have never heard about this "diet" thing until I read it. I think it sounds...ridiculous. Honestly...so if guys cant go without having sex for a few days, a few weeks, a few months, or whatever,what do they do? Mastrubate the whole time? Or pick up girls who are easy and probably have loads of stds from sleeping around all the time?

It kind of makes me sad that men NEED sex that much. I mean, woman love sex probably almost as much as men...but at least women can have more self control....but thats just my personal opinion. And no, I am not a hardcore feminist. Just pointing out that from my own experience...women are generally more picky as to who they have sex with because I think we tend to care more about the emotional aspect of it? I dont know. This is just my opinion anyway.

Isabelle17 you have absolutely no clue about male sexual nature. And judging by the majority of posts so far, it looks like us men are mostly to blame for that. I hate to break it but your 'guy friends who don't have sex often' are mostly likely thinking about having sex with you the exact moment they say 'they're not interested in one night stands'. There is nothing wrong with them, it's perfectly natural.

There is no comparison between the male and female sex drive. Women do not have more self control men, simply because you have less to control. It's not about who loves sex more, or who enjoys sex more, as I'm sure women actually get the good end of the stick on this one. We have much higher levels of testosterone in our systems, and as ridiculous and sad as it sounds, this 'whole "diet" thing' is caused by biological differences in men and women. Most of us guys tend to down play this whole sex drive thing because it is very difficult to convey.

When I say there is no comparison between the male and female sex drives, I'm not talking about guys simply having much bigger sex drives, but the very nature of the drives are not comparable. Continuing with the food analogy, from my observations, the female sex drive sounds like a craving for good chocolate, but with men, its more like needing to fill and empty stomach.

As for what ultimately controls us, that's up the guy, but generally if we keep our stomachs full, the big head is in control.

You're right. I dont understand males sexuality because I am not a male.

And I did not say that they were not thinking about it....I know they probably are...I am just saying that they dont ACT upon their urges. Anyway, I do not claim to be an expert on sexuality at all. I guess since I'm a woman I just cant really understand it...sorry! I will keep what you said in mind though.

[seonai]

Isabelle17 I understand you... anyone with a name like 'Bangla Bound' is probably best taken in jest

[BangnaBound]

The name is BangNa Bound as in Bangna edge of Bangkok, no action, suburb.

Don’t take my remarks personally; I used your post because it is very representative of a great majority of women. You’re right, how could you know. In general if you ask a man these questions he is going to lie to you, and down play it because it’s an awkward subject. I was just trying to get across to you that you friends that “don’t ACT upon their urges” are using more self control that you could imagine. As for what they are doing for the “a few days, a few weeks, a few months” they’re not having sex, well you already answered that.