Question For The Unfaithful Guys Out There

[torrenova]

"I honestly don't understand why someone whould be with someone if they wanted other people"

i want both the partner, companion, love, someone to keep the bed warm next to me, someone to share life with stuff

AND

i want the three girls covered in singha beer romp

these things can't coexist? why does it have to be one or the other. and of course, if you have made a promise its unethical to break it.. but why do you guys keep insisting a man can only be interested in A or B and not both?

I don't necessarily agree that they can't co-exist. I have lived with more than one girl at a time and we shared "life things" and though not quite a Singha romp there were certainly romps involving other liquids. That was right at the time just as if I wanted to live with more than one girl here then I would do so. I migrated to one girl.

My point is not to say it is unethical but rather that I believe not many men (and women too I suppose) actually find the right partner and they settle for something that is good enough but never quite enough. Perhaps time running out or the continuous failed relationships make people give up the search for the right one and they compromise. Perhaps it requires a certain mix of factors which are only there between two people for a certain time and if that time is missed then it can never be recaptured.

Even if your logic is right, I still think many people settle for less than they want in a partner and that causes them to look elsewhere. Most people settle for less than they want in all kinds of things, jobs, houses, money, unfulfilled dreams so why not partners ?

[dee123]

...maybe its just me ,but if i had a beach massage quite often in the old days especially,everything was offered,..a mia noi means more money than i can afford,only my friends with cash had mia noi's,western or thai,...if your an Alpha male i reckon your more likely to be having an affair and realistically not posting on this subject,...remember its Songkran so all the "alpha" males have just sent both their wife's and girlfriends presents for songkran put the big office chair under the table and gone down the golf club,....FORE!!! ......to get anywhere in business you have to be a natural born liar ,to the "Alpha" males this comes naturally along with the admiring females in their dozens.....

Edited April 12, 2008 by dee123

[Heng]

...maybe its just me ,but if i had a beach massage quite often in the old days especially,everything was offered,..a mia noi means more money than i can afford,only my friends with cash had mia noi's,western or thai,...if your an Alpha male i reckon your more likely to be having an affair and realistically not posting on this subject,...remember its Songkran so all the "alpha" males have just sent both their wife's and girlfriends presents for songkran put the big office chair under the table and gone down the golf club,....FORE!!! ......to get anywhere in business you have to be a natural born liar ,to the "Alpha" males this comes naturally along with the admiring females in their dozens.....

Yeah, just like in the jungle where the alpha lion sends presents to of all of its sexual partners.

[dee123]

....sorry Heng but that one went rightover my head too....Im not taking the mickey but "Alpha" males surely unlike lions its not just based on strenghth,leadership yes otherwise Mick Mcmanus would be a sex god..someone will have to explain to me what makes an"Alpha"male...can someone define "alpha" male....i thought it was "power"....wiki says power.....political,social etc.....maybe thats why i don't understand some of your posts Heng you must be big and hairy right?

Edited April 12, 2008 by dee123

[YoungFarang13]

over my head too heng

[scotwumman]

know what you are saying. how do you take alcohol in moderation pray tell heng. yes have been on the drink too much forum before you direct me there

[dee123]

...mai ben rai ,....its songkran ,....happy songkran Heng,...xxx

[britmaveric]

If you have an understanding and everyone agrees to the situation then fine. But ask yourself this, if you cheat then its entirely acceptable for your gf or wife to do the same? However that being said most lads I know who arent faithful want their partners to be faithful to them. This is well ridiculous line of thinking.

Edited April 12, 2008 by britmaveric

[dee123]

...i agree again with Britmaveric,...both myself and my wife may have made errors but we still love each other,..although I do find it peculiar when someone says its all based on trust,... and if that trust is broken?..... does that mean you just chuck him/her out ?....if so how much do u really love her..?....I suppose you find out when it happens...as I said before everyone is different as is every relationship and there is no "right way" or "wrong way".......just your own way...but you try not to hurt each other anyway,...

Edited April 12, 2008 by dee123

[dee123]

my gf is american, fwiw. and i agree, its hard to compare this thing to the west because its so easy to get a massage in thailand whereas in the west, you have to put in a lot more effort to fool around.

Hate to sound ignorant, but I stay from the massage joint that I see, not because of the "extra service" but because I have jungle rot on one of my feet.... I could not imagine anyone touching the thing. So when the girls pur on the street.... "Welcome Massage" etc etc.... I just smile and chuckle & think about what a surprise my foot has to offer!!!!!!!!

I know, and odd story, but true.

somehow I don't think they would care how your foot looks like,...other parts,maybe!!

[Heng]

....sorry Heng but that one went rightover my head too....Im not taking the mickey but "Alpha" males surely unlike lions its not just based on strenghth,leadership yes otherwise Mick Mcmanus would be a sex god..someone will have to explain to me what makes an"Alpha"male...can someone define "alpha" male....i thought it was "power"....wiki says power.....political,social etc.....maybe thats why i don't understand some of your posts Heng you must be big and hairy right?

Was saying that alphas don't need to fit any preconceived notions of what they might be doing during Songkran, since alphas tend to give themselves/create the freedom to do whatever they want. Of course like all things, it's still relative. Alphas aren't gods, everyone has limits - and there's always someone higher and lower in the big scheme of things. But as it pertains to this thread, IMO restricting your libido and desire for sexual variety is anti-alpha and might even make one less competitive in say business or sports. That said, I do believe concepts like 'traditional monogamy,' 'organized religion,' and 'paying your taxes in full' IS a good thing for the world as a whole. ...it's just not for me. I say "good job folks, keep following those rules!"

Happy Songkran to you as well.

[dee123]

....nice post Heng...I liked that,.....its not what u should say (PC)....but its the way you feel. and are ...totally honest mate

Edited April 12, 2008 by dee123

[YoungFarang13]

heng is my hero.

[dee123]

heng is my hero.

NOW THATS LOVE

[lardy]

say you been with a girl for a few years and everything is perfect except everytime you go out you cannot take your eyes off the other girls. you do not want to learn their names. you do not want to take them to lunch. you do not want to become emotionally attached to them. you just want to ravish them.

now the standard line is to say that you should not be in a long term relationship, that these two life styles or instincts cannot co-exist... while i obviously understand that its unethical to cheat when you have agreed not to, I will never for a second accept this notion that once you 'fall in love' it means that no longer want to sleep with other women or that if you want to sleep with other women you 'arent ready' for a long term relationship. ]

lets not forget that in many places, like Thailand, its the norm for men to sleep with multiple women. Monogomy in the West is just a culture thing, just like having 4 wifes in muslim lands is cultural.

i guess i should go break my gfs heart now.

"you don't love me anymore?"

i still love you.

"then why do you want to sleep with other women?"

because my body tells me too.

i never thought i would be here either. i spent all my life watching movies where the guy cheating looks like a huge scumbag. i guess i am that scumbag now.

And do you think its the same for women in Muslim society? Can they have four husbands? I don't think so I dont think the Muslim men would stand for that........ what does this tell you?

[YoungFarang13]

it tells me that men and women aren't the same.

[dee123]

...LOOK lets get back to the Warren Beatty bit ,...I was quite enjoying that

[scotwumman]

Not still falling for the hansom man cr__ surely. You are funny but I suspect not in the Warren boy's league lookswise

[dee123]

Not still falling for the hansom man cr__ surely. You are funny but I suspect not in the Warren boy's league lookswise

spoilsport

[lardy]

it tells me that men and women aren't the same.

It tells me a lot about a religion and a lot about mens dominance and supression of women (still ongoing) until recent years in many countries. Why not chekout the Afghan womens plight and send them some money. www.rawa.org

[scotwumman]

At last a bellylaugh cheers pal - I don't do smileys

[distortedlink]

There are of course moral issues of being unfaithful to a wife, husband or gay partner, whether one thinks it's right or not is up to their own conscience.

The big question here is that if a partner in a relationship is willing to put themselves at risk of catching sexual diseases or the very worst, HIV or AIDs just to fulfil their sexual desires, do they believe that it is not an ultimate wrong doing bringing home these dangers to their unsuspecting spouses and families?

Edited April 12, 2008 by distortedlink

[dee123]

....yes u have a point,.....as the earlier poster said about singapore,....sex involves risk,,....desire is present,...its up to the individual to make that decision....also with your own partner,......how often should you be checked,...

Edited April 12, 2008 by dee123

[lardy]

Farang 13 ever since I can remember I too have always looked and still look at almost every woman I see and often think about having sex with them........ the difference is its all in my head, I love my wife and could not bear to hurt her as i would not want her to do this to me. Maybe she's thinking the same hahhahaha.

[Lucifer]

Usually, people on web boards make up their facts.

26% of them do.

[isabelle17]

One of my best friends got HIV because her husband cheated on her (he of course, has HIV too.)

I agree that it is up to you if you want to cheat or not. But cheating can and probably will effect the people you are sexually or romantically involved with. A constant thing I dont get..is if people want to cheat, WHY can they just NOT be in a serious relationship with anyone?? That way they don't get hurt, and they don't hurt anyone else! Its not rocket science.

I have been cheated on (as I am sure many other people have been cheated on) and even though I got over it, I was scared. I was scared I had an std. Thankfully, I didn't. Others are not so lucky.

I think its a good thing, at the very least, if people who cheat have a health check periodically to see if they have any stds. Thats the very least they could do. We have brains and self control for a reason. Yes we have urges and desires, but we don't always have to act on them. And by the way, the muslim men who have four wives, do you think the wives have much say in what their husband wants or does anyway??

[YoungFarang13]

its really hard to get hiv from vaginal sex. your friend was very unlucky. i think its like 1/10000 without a condom.

Edited April 12, 2008 by YoungFarang13

[Dakhar]

its really hard to get hiv from vaginal sex. your friend was very unlucky. i think its like 1/10000 without a condom.

No the odds are more like 1/2000 & that is if she has no other std's. If she is co-infected with anything else, such as herpes, gonorhea or clamydia (sp) then those odds dramatically shift to like 1/500 or worse.

I don't believe in condoms.... I don't believe they work as well as claimed, although the studies are contrary to that. But I am a big HIV phobic, so I would rather go without both the sex & HIV.... that way I know for sure I have no worries.

My wife, bless her, has decided sex is something done for procreation only... (I guess that is her thinking). "Her words were something like, I don't want to have sex with you, & I have absolutely no desire too."

So now, I essentially have a sexless marriage. Nothing to be proud of, but after 3 years... I have learned to cope.

Yea I know it stinks really, fact is I just recently saw on Oprah a doctor state that you should have sex 4 times a week & the reseach suggests this will pro-long your life. Well that would be a years worth for me! I should die soon, I guess.

Good luck to us all.

[isabelle17]

its really hard to get hiv from vaginal sex. your friend was very unlucky. i think its like 1/10000 without a condom.

Does it matter how hard it is??? Anyone can be the "unlucky" one. And if it makes a difference (which I assume it does) he slept around quite a bit. And by the way, HE was not my friend. His wife is.

[LivinLOS]

If you have an understanding and everyone agrees to the situation then fine. But ask yourself this, if you cheat then its entirely acceptable for your gf or wife to do the same? However that being said most lads I know who arent faithful want their partners to be faithful to them. This is well ridiculous line of thinking.

If the average woman was as able to have emotional detachment about sex as the average guy.. Then I would say hat it would be fine.. The key here is seperating the emotional support and 'love' with a partner and the desire to simply spill seed.