You could always change the chauffeurs job description.

Get a Bufallo, it can cut your grass and fertalize your roses at the same time. I doubt very much if you will have too many problems over paying it or how long it will take time for lunch.

So you just want someone to come around and trim your bush,give you some relief while your wifes away working.

No, I'm serious. I need a gardener.

I would like nothing better than to do it myself zpete, but, my health and more specifically, my artheritis won't allow me to and my wife is far to busy working at an internationally recognised company, here in Phuket.

Interesting thread. What the 'internationally recognised company' has to do with the issue is what interests me....

So to summarise, you sit at home complaining about the gardener taking extra time for lunch, paying him the same as you'd pay a garden service (deduced from your reasoning about all the money not going to the poor worker if you hire a service, and your obvious deep concern about this) while the wife goes out to work?

I must come talk to you... gotta get my wife off her butt.....

Let me put it another way. The price the gardening companies charge is outrageous, mainly because the company takes the lion's share of the money. If I hire an individual, not only is it a lot cheaper for me, but, the gardener gets the whole lot, which is a lot more than the poor gardener that works for the company.

that is correct. our land is smaller and our single story house has a big footprint. initially i planned to hire a company, got several quotes each 4,000 Baht/month for 3 times 4 hours a week. hired a fulltime (6 days a week) gardener for 7,000 Baht who did a good job and most of the time i sent him home after lunch. unfortunately i had to fire him months later as he requested several times "a couple of free days" to go to his village which always turned out to be "couple of weeks". then a year ago our live-in maid suggested to hire her newly wed husband as a gardener and we are quite happy with his service. no such thing like specific working hours or specified lunch break. all we want is that the garden looks neat, and it does.

I think its deplorable.. finding good help these days is such a bore..

My latest batman recently got the cop for an over dry martini, that and a suspicious decline in the silverware. Just the other day, I was stroking my pet ocelot, drinking a peg of absinthe and quietly puffing on my opium pipe, when I remarked to the bath girl the dreadful slipping of standards.

No, I'm serious. I need a gardener.

I would like nothing better than to do it myself zpete, but, my health and more specifically, my artheritis won't allow me to and my wife is far to busy working at an internationally recognised company, here in Phuket.

Interesting thread. What the 'internationally recognised company' has to do with the issue is what interests me....

So to summarise, you sit at home complaining about the gardener taking extra time for lunch, paying him the same as you'd pay a garden service (deduced from your reasoning about all the money not going to the poor worker if you hire a service, and your obvious deep concern about this) while the wife goes out to work?

I must come talk to you... gotta get my wife off her butt.....

Internationally recgnized company...........

What else, she is chief chipper at KFC, extremely skilled posision.

Coud be Maccas of course.

I think its deplorable.. finding good help these days is such a bore..

My latest batman recently got the cop for an over dry martini, that and a suspicious decline in the silverware. Just the other day, I was stroking my pet ocelot, drinking a peg of absinthe and quietly puffing on my opium pipe, when I remarked to the bath girl the dreadful slipping of standards.

A post totally lacking in credibility, everyone knows ocelot's don't like to be stroked.

sir bellend is getting boring now.

Not worthy of an answer as its a wind up.

do you now know what a bellend is

sir bellend is getting boring now.

Not worthy of an answer as its a wind up.

do you now know what a bellend is

Gave him what it meant, and web addy to look fer his snobby self.......haha

I think its deplorable.. finding good help these days is such a bore..

My latest batman recently got the cop for an over dry martini, that and a suspicious decline in the silverware. Just the other day, I was stroking my pet ocelot, drinking a peg of absinthe and quietly puffing on my opium pipe, when I remarked to the bath girl the dreadful slipping of standards.

A post totally lacking in credibility, everyone knows ocelot's don't like to be stroked.

The common European ocelot perhaps, however the lesser spotted Andean ocelot collected on one of my expeditions to study the Aztec civilizations, is quite partial to gentle tummy rub, though heaven help us, who among us can deny that sweet pleasure. Of course I generally delegate the task.

HI

I start thinking this is funny, did yoy Mr. Sir Buur set it up for that.

Please read post #58 in the 'How to Attract the Right Type of Tourist / Resident' thread.

I had to fire my gardener today. This is the fourth man I've had in less than a year. He gets half an hour for lunch, yet, he usually takes 45 minutes to an hour. Today was the straw that broke the camel's back. An hour and a half lunch break is just not on. Does anybody know of any good gardeners?

Do it lazy blotty self.

PS:

Reckon these posts are tongue in the cheek.

I think this guy is having great laffs at our expense.

Stirring, and loving it, clever guy.......LOL

Bet he sits back chortling over his CHANG............

Calls us simpletons, no doubt.

Zpete, I do believe you are correct. I grew up in a neighborhood where all the families had domestic staff. Had I referred to any of the help as "servants" I would have had my ears boxed. There were also a great many people from the former "colonies" and not once did I hear the term servant. Perhaps this is a term favoured by those people who inhabit fantasyland where the locals call the bosses mastah or bwana?

I did find the reference to "my wife is far to busy working at an internationally recognised company" amusing. Surely now, if one is wealthy, one's wife should not be forced to work down at the local Burger King asking patrons if they'd like fries with that? Perhaps, the OP has fallen on hard times and is unable to make ends meet and the reality is that he must grow food in the backyard plot so that he may make a turnip and parsnip stew to sustain himself. The gardener is really a farmhand type, which is why the OP can circumvent standard employment conditions.

The tip off on the post was the over pruning of the roses. Everyone knows that old people tend to their own roses. Even the wheelchair bound spinster on my street had her attendant roll her about as she trimmed her roses.

Sheesh, if one wants to play make believe, at least put some effort into it and get the behaviour patterns of the social demographic right.

Let me put it another way.

The price the gardening companies charge is outrageous, mainly because the company takes the lion's share of the money.

If I hire an individual, not only is it a lot cheaper for me, but, the gardener gets the whole lot, which is a lot more than the poor gardener that works for the company.

But, and this is a big but; I'm only willing to hire a gardener that is hard working and knows his business. My hibiscuses and roses are my pride and joy and I wouldn't let just anybody with a pair of secateurs loose on them.

My hibiscuses and roses are my pride and joy and I wouldn't let just anybody with a pair of secateurs loose on them.

this guy can not be real, this is far to funny to be true?

Sir Burr have you thought of doing a stand up show at the up and coming Punchline Comedy Club to be held on May the 14th at the Hilton? you would go down well

On another note, you remind me of the actor ' Victor Meldrew ' from one foot in the grave '

Standard of idiots is gettin worse as well, I think

i think this Sir Blood is a little bit worried to be considered just another old dirty man who enjoys some times with a younger thai girl.

I don't know about gardeners (since I have only the jungle some meters away and it's growing beautiful without any human effort), but for sure I could be of some help taking care of your spouse, since you have a bad artheritis.

IKO

Btw i have a lot of tattoes. For sure your wife will enjoy them

^

Just goes to show that you can still catch fish without having to put bait on your hook.

^

Just goes to show that you can still catch fish without having to put bait on your hook.

As your dear departed mater used to say.

^

Just goes to show that you can still catch fish without having to put bait on your hook.

As your dear departed mater used to say.

Come on sir, i was joking. Like you.... Were you serious? about the gardener and all the shit about the bad

tattoed guys and the "my thai woman is not a biatch"?

I'm sure you were kiddin

IKO

May I refer you to post #58 on the "How do we attract a better tourist / Resident thread". All we be revealed.

A SERIOUS POST...

Sir Burr, you have a Colonial Mentality concerning the primitive natives who live around you in your host country. Did you serve as an English government official somewhere in India--oh, about the 1890's?) Your posts show that you are seriously out of touch with the culture and mentality of your hosts--and those hosts are the Thai people themselves, in case you hadn't thought about it that way before.

I do believe this is why you have had no serious replies with contact information. Basically, no one wants to subject their Thai friends, acquaintances, or "servants" to your ilk.

I believe you've already received the best two pieces of advice:

1) Naam: make the job task-specific, not time-keeping specific. Not even the Thai professors with Ph.D.'s at my university can keep a class schedule, or keep the lunch hour within western-style bounds.

2) Seagull: learn some Thai; you'd be amazed what little Thai language will help you relate to your "servants" as a decent, empathetic individual rather than a distant taskmaster.

Go back and make amends with your last gardener, restructuring his work environment, then enroll in some local Thai language courses. Come back to TV and visit us after that. Then, and only then, will we share our Thai friends with you.

My two Satang,

TT

Ye Gods!

Another one on the hook!

^

Just goes to show that you can still catch fish without having to put bait on your hook.

A man should never plant a garden larger

than his wife can take care of.

- T.H. Everett

LiveSteam

Ye Gods!

Another one on the hook!

You're behind the times. April 1 was over a month ago...

.....but, April Fools exist all year round.

Maybe you should have read the complete thread

.....but, April Fools exist all year round.

Maybe you should have read the complete thread

I did. But not all minds run in the same gutter...

Well, you must have skipped this in post #43.

"Please read post #58 in the 'How to Attract the Right Type of Tourist / Resident' thread".

I read the post, but didn't follow the link. OK, duped. Clever.

Anyway, you were quite adept at mimicking the old-school colonial master. <<Yin di douay>>

Besides fooling a lot of us, it DID give us pause to reflect on this sort of mind-set. (I'm trying to rationalize my time wasted).

The only thing funnier than the posters that were outraged, were the posters that agreed

The only thing funnier than the posters that were outraged, were the posters that agreed

Congratulations. I hope you dodged Nargis.