Why Are Asian Girls Interested In Western Boys?

[Acomes2Siam]

It depends. I have worked in management in Indonesia and Singapore. Now I am considering a job offer to come to Thailand for an international company. The boss and owner of the company I worked for in Indonesia (which was the Indonesian part of a joint-venture) always told me that he could not understand why so many westerners would go for poor uneducated girls when they could almost have anyone there. At the time I argued that love (or lust) doesn't really count how much money or education the girl has first. He still shook his head (he is Chinese-Indonesian). Later that year I spent new years with his family and it was nice. They clearly tried to set me up with his wife's younger sister (she was about 22 and I was about 27). I dated her for about a month then I broke up. She looked ok, but she was far too arrogant and superficial for my taste. She could also kick dogs and cats if they came close to her. She and her family was of course tens and tens (maybe hundreds) of times richer than me or my family, but to her I am sure I was like a trophee. She also did like how we were compatable in bed and I have heard her brag about our sexlife to her girlfriends. I have also dated a couple of other goodlooking uptown girls and I am sure that Asian girls in general really find westerners very attractive both to look at and in bed as well for that matter.

On the other side I have heard several western guys complain that Thai girls are only after their money. This is without exception guys that by a western standard would be called old or ugly. I have heard the same from a few Indonesians and Thais (on forums like this). In general it seems that these male Thais are very jaloux and it eases their pain (that westerners run with 'their' girls) if they can believe it is only for their money.

After many years in Asia and dating quite a few girls (at least half of which have had far more money than myself) I have come to the conclusion that different guys have different experiences. If you look ok for western standards then girls in Asia will generally find you even more attractive. Partly because you will be more masculine, assertive and exotic than most asian males. If on the other hand if you are not very attractive in a western society (because you are drinking, uneducated, socially clumsy, unfit and fat etc.) then you may be a bit less unattractive to many Asian girls, but your money will begin to play a role and as you get less and less attractive the range of girls that will be interested will be smaller and those girls will generally be poorer and after you for your money.

Therefore: Different western guys will have different perceptions of how Asian girls look at them.

Edited July 25, 2008 by Acomes2Siam

[JOHN2]

It depends. I have worked in management in Indonesia and Singapore. Now I am considering a job offer to come to Thailand for an international company. The boss and owner of the company I worked for in Indonesia (which was the Indonesian part of a joint-venture) always told me that he could not understand why so many westerners would go for poor uneducated girls when they could almost have anyone there. At the time I argued that love (or lust) doesn't really count how much money or education the girl has first. He still shook his head (he is Chinese-Indonesian). Later that year I spent new years with his family and it was nice. They clearly tried to set me up with his wife's younger sister (she was about 22 and I was about 27). I dated her for about a month then I broke up. She looked ok, but she was far too arrogant and superficial for my taste. She could also kick dogs and cats if they came close to her. She and her family was of course tens and tens (maybe hundreds) of times richer than me or my family, but to her I am sure I was like a trophee. She also did like how we were compatable in bed and I have heard her brag about our sexlife to her girlfriends. I have also dated a couple of other goodlooking uptown girls and I am sure that Asian girls in general really find westerners very attractive both to look at and in bed as well for that matter.

On the other side I have heard several western guys complain that Thai girls are only after their money. This is without exception guys that by a western standard would be called old or ugly. I have heard the same from a few Indonesians and Thais (on forums like this). In general it seems that these male Thais are very jaloux and it eases their pain (that westerners run with 'their' girls) if they can believe it is only for their money.

After many years in Asia and dating quite a few girls (at least half of which have had far more money than myself) I have come to the conclusion that different guys have different experiences. If you look ok for western standards then girls in Asia will generally find you even more attractive. Partly because you will be more masculine, assertive and exotic than most asian males. If on the other hand if you are not very attractive in a western society (because you are drinking, uneducated, socially clumsy, unfit and fat etc.) then you may be a bit less unattractive to many Asian girls, but your money will begin to play a role and as you get less and less attractive the range of girls that will be interested will be smaller and those girls will generally be poorer and after you for your money.

Therefore: Different western guys will have different perceptions of how Asian girls look at them.

How bizarre

[pampal]

$$$$$

[Maigo6]

I have come to the conclusion that different guys have different experiences.

Stunning observation.

[Acomes2Siam]

I have come to the conclusion that different guys have different experiences.

Stunning observation.

Yeah, right? It shouldn't be, but I know several that think there is only one truth - theirs. Some think 'Thai girls want $$$' and the other group thinks 'all Thai girls think Caucasians look great and they want one for themselves'. We don't have to look very far for people with such a black and white impression of the world.

Edited July 25, 2008 by Acomes2Siam

[zzdocxx]

It just goes to show.

[wintermute]

It has nothing to do with asian girls liking western boys heh. If you're a good looking guy with a lick of personality you can do well anywhere. I know a good looking black guy who bangs dozens of hot white women everynight in various countries in Europe while travelling. He's a hot commodity because a U.S. born and bred black male is a rarity there. By your metric then you could come to the conclusion that white women really love black boys.

Later that year I spent new years with his family and it was nice. They clearly tried to set me up with his wife's younger sister (she was about 22 and I was about 27). I dated her for about a month then I broke up. She looked ok, but she was far too arrogant and superficial for my taste. She could also kick dogs and cats if they came close to her

Maybe the reason why they were so eager to set her up with you was because she had the personality and charm of Osama Bin Laden and long since alienated the local guys.

Edited July 25, 2008 by wintermute

[huggybear]

She also did like how we were compatable in bed and I have heard her brag about our sexlife to her girlfriends. I have also dated a couple of other goodlooking uptown girls and I am sure that Asian girls in general really find westerners very attractive both to look at and in bed as well for that matter.

Are you sure you submitted to the right Forum?

This sounds like something someone would submit to Penthouse Forum (Penthouse being a western girly mag).

[Doza]

Personally I think one of the things about dating a western guy for Asian women is they aren't restricted and confined by traditional roles or ways of acting that they are with guys from their own (often more traditional and conservative) cultures.

They are more free because they see the western guy as having a much more liberal culture which they may wish to embrace but aren't confident to do so with guys of their own culture for fear of unwanted labels or whatever.

For example, being confident and assertive sexually may not be looked upon well in a traditional Asian culture (and perhaps many Asian guys don't like that from women in their culture) however they can be this way with a westerner.

Just an example of why we might be more desirable to be with (for some)...

[Maigo6]

and the other group thinks 'all Thai girls think Caucasians look great and they want one for themselves'.

Most of the Farangs I see in Thailand ain't that good looking, unless of course Thai girls are into old bald fat white men with huge guts.

[wintermute]

and the other group thinks 'all Thai girls think Caucasians look great and they want one for themselves'.

Most of the Farangs I see in Thailand ain't that good looking, unless of course Thai girls are into old bald fat white men with huge guts.

Most of the girls are snickering not fawning.

[bkkjames]

Let me count the ways...

I don't beat her

I don't have a minor wife

I can cook

I can have a conversation that doesn't only have something to do with being aroi or paeng (SP).

oh and last but not least...one word orgas*m.

[dotcom]

Possibly you have stumbled across a key word. Exotic. I find Asian women very very attractive. To the point that romance with Western women is no longer an option.

The fact that we can have virtually any women we want in Thailand makes this the preferred destination.

Maigo - I know you are speaking about your own situation. LMFAO. dork.

[TheDon]

I thought it was the other way round, my mate asked if I have any good friends who i can hook him up with, I said I know some asian girls, do you think he is interested in asian girls? He gave me a blank look and goes " mate who doesnt like asian girls "

I also have to agree, asian girls just do it for me more then any others

[issanpaul]

Wonder how long this thread lasts b4 Mod closes

[0Mix1up]

I know a good looking black guy who bangs dozens of hot white women everynight

must be very fertile....virile.....big c.....no.....must be viagra.....lol....are you in awe?

Edited July 25, 2008 by 0Mix1up

[zaza]

I know a good looking black guy who bangs dozens of hot white women everynight

must be very fertile....virile.....big c.....no.....must be viagra.....lol....are you in awe?

Is he the European gigolo or the Midnight cowboy?

[Sabum]

This is so stupid, its no giant mystery here fellas.... WOMEN LIKE HANDSOME MEN. Duh! No need to put race into it or guess about it. Handsome Thai guys are rocking hot thai girls ALL THE TIME, I know its hard for some of you to accept......

So if you're not handsome and you get lots of attention... well, figure it out.

[donna]

handsome men may get the second look, but if they are jerks, then thats the last look they will get.

if a man is funny and a good conversationalist, then he will definitely get the third look from me, and most women i know. the more you know and like a man, the more handsome he becomes.

if a man is handsome, but doesnt have the manners/personality to go with it, then his looks quickly go downhill in my opinion.

[bkkjames]

handsome men may get the second look, but if they are jerks, then thats the last look they will get.

if a man is funny and a good conversationalist, then he will definitely get the third look from me, and most women i know. the more you know and like a man, the more handsome he becomes.

if a man is handsome, but doesnt have the manners/personality to go with it, then his looks quickly go downhill in my opinion.

based on this synopsis, I am not sure if I qualify because I have manners / personality but average looks, does that mean my looks will go uphill then?

[GuestHouse]

Given that the OP has worked in Singapore I'm surprised he's not aware that this phenomenon is referred to at Singapore as 'The Pinkerton Syndrome' - Puccini anyone?! - It's a myth (but the Opera is wonderful).

-0-

Money and power no doubt does play a part - as do personal circumstances and of course Charm, Looks and all the other armory love.

But come on be realistic - If you are a professional expat assigned in the Asian offices of a multinational you are probably earning 5~10 times the average salary back home and maybe 20+ times the average salary in your host country. You no doubt have more leave, more time off work, better accommodation, a better car and much of your life is expensed.

While it is without doubt many women will see you as a good catch on that basis - I think the bigger draw is your income lets you live a more 'attractive life' - doing more, opens more doors gives you more choices.

With all the opportunities this life style brings I'm in agreement with your Indonesian Boss - Why do guys living this life style and with all the doors open choose to go looking for women at the complete opposite end of the social spectrum?

My own theory on why this is so often the case is that middle class, well educated, well travelled Asian woman demands as much - if not more - of her boyfriend/husband as do their western sisters.

That a man is well educated, highly paid and in a powerful job is no indication that he can handle women on, or even near, his own level.

Edited July 25, 2008 by GuestHouse

[bendix]

based on this synopsis, I am not sure if I qualify because I have manners / personality but average looks, does that mean my looks will go uphill then?

Based on the fact that you're a Manchester United fan, I'd suggest it's highly unlikey you have either manners or personality.

[Acomes2Siam]

and the other group thinks 'all Thai girls think Caucasians look great and they want one for themselves'.

Most of the Farangs I see in Thailand ain't that good looking, unless of course Thai girls are into old bald fat white men with huge guts.

Most of the girls are snickering not fawning.

and that is YOUR experience. Remember that. Others will have different experiences and gotten different reactions than you (or your circle or whereever you have this impression from).

[Acomes2Siam]

handsome men may get the second look, but if they are jerks, then thats the last look they will get.

if a man is funny and a good conversationalist, then he will definitely get the third look from me, and most women i know. the more you know and like a man, the more handsome he becomes.

if a man is handsome, but doesnt have the manners/personality to go with it, then his looks quickly go downhill in my opinion.

Exactly. Looks, personality etc.

Some men in here (and they may have had so many negative experiences that they really feel Asian women are only after $, but I sometimes wonder wheter some posters trying to come of as westerners are in reality jaloux Thai guys ....) think that (based on their own experiences with Thai women that Thai women don't like western guy for anything but $. In other words looks, personality etc etc. does not matter.

Maybe this is their experience - in which case I am sorry - or maybe it is their excuse to not do any wortout and have a lacking personality etc.? Either way it is wrong, Asian women are not that different to other women in the world and will appreciate a goodlooking guy with a great personality. And there is even a plus for being caucasian, exotic and different. But as we already discussed, IF you are in fact unattractive - yes, then the women you can get may well be there for the money. And in that case those are the experiences you will get.

[Acomes2Siam]

Given that the OP has worked in Singapore I'm surprised he's not aware that this phenomenon is referred to at Singapore as 'The Pinkerton Syndrome' - Puccini anyone?! - It's a myth (but the Opera is wonderful).

-0-

Money and power no doubt does play a part - as do personal circumstances and of course Charm, Looks and all the other armory love.

But come on be realistic - If you are a professional expat assigned in the Asian offices of a multinational you are probably earning 5~10 times the average salary back home and maybe 20+ times the average salary in your host country. You no doubt have more leave, more time off work, better accommodation, a better car and much of your life is expensed.

While it is without doubt many women will see you as a good catch on that basis - I think the bigger draw is your income lets you live a more 'attractive life' - doing more, opens more doors gives you more choices.

With all the opportunities this life style brings I'm in agreement with your Indonesian Boss - Why do guys living this life style and with all the doors open choose to go looking for women at the complete opposite end of the social spectrum?

My own theory on why this is so often the case is that middle class, well educated, well travelled Asian woman demands as much - if not more - of her boyfriend/husband as do their western sisters.

That a man is well educated, highly paid and in a powerful job is no indication that he can handle women on, or even near, his own level.

Some good thoughts. You could be right. Personally, I didn't feel as if I couldn't 'handle' the girls that I have dated that were definitely from more upper class families than me or in higher paid jobs than me. In those relationships it was me ending the relationships except for one. The stories from each relationship is different, but a common tread may be that I did find that life and those girls a bit too superficial and money mattered too much. When I say money meant too much, it wasn't that there was pressure on me. I, in general, felt welcome and a few times I was being aligned to have a great future in the family company. However, the topic of many conversations revolved around status and how 'we' were high status and so on.

[GuestHouse]

^ OK I understand that, but my point is that I agree with what your former boss has commented - That very many professional expats on the full expat deal with access to educated middle class/upper middle class asian women opt rather for women at the other end of the social scale.

What you say about the relationships you've had being superficial and money mattering too much is perhaps a personal experience but I do agree that money matters in Asian society and is perhaps talked about in more open manner than in the west as being a 'good in its own right'.

But then going back to guys choosing women at the exact opposite end of the spectrum - money matters there for sure, and is all too often the basis of the relationship in the first place.

It's this choice by so many 'privileged' westerners who have such wide options open to them that I find puzzling.

[NanLaew]

I think you are a total plonker and missed the plot. A hi-so asiatic stunner wants you in the family and you bottle out... multiple times?

Oh well A, welcome to Thailand, pull up a bar stool and I will get you a beer and try and point out how to tell which of the lo-so girls you are doomed to circulate with are not after your wallet.

[bkkjames]

based on this synopsis, I am not sure if I qualify because I have manners / personality but average looks, does that mean my looks will go uphill then?

Based on the fact that you're a Manchester United fan, I'd suggest it's highly unlikey you have either manners or personality.

Not bad Bedix, for late in the day on Friday

[Acomes2Siam]

I think you are a total plonker and missed the plot. A hi-so asiatic stunner wants you in the family and you bottle out... multiple times?

Oh well A, welcome to Thailand, pull up a bar stool and I will get you a beer and try and point out how to tell which of the lo-so girls you are doomed to circulate with are not after your wallet.

Hmm... OK, I will be honest and admit that I have on occasion toyed with the idea of all the things I could have done if I had gotten married to one of these girls. On the other hand, I don't think I would have been happy although having several fancy cars and the possibility to lead an international jet-set life with multi-million dollar deals (I did that anyway - just not with my own money) would be soften the blow.

These are only moments of speculation, but overall I am in no way regretting my decisions. Not at all. I come from an egalitarian society (Scandinavia - although I currently live in Australia) and I know that I will never lack anything really. No matter how sick I get and what else happens I will be fine (in Scandinavia hospitals, universities etc. is all free and everyone gets enough money from the state to live well if they can't work). Now - I am doing well and have a good life with many possibilities - I am not a multi-millionaire. Who knows maybe I will become one by my own doing, but I am not regretting for one second that I did not marry my way to a lot of money. To me love is far far more important than that - now I know my ex-boss would shake his head right here, but that is just my oppinion.

Edit: Two more things... 1. This is also a response to GuestHouse. 2. Hmm.. reading your (Nanlaew) post again it seems you think that the trouble now is that it is much harder to figure out who is after the money and who is after love among lo-so girls. Hmm... yes, you may be right there. Then what do you suggest? I was not really in love with the hi-so girls - at least not after getting to know them better. I can see this point and yes I think this is a real problem with not only going after hi-so girls, but I don't see a solution that will just fix that. I am also not saying that I am not interested in a hi-so girl - hi-so is just far from enough for me. I would rather have real love-based relationship with a lo-so girl that a superficial, money-focused etc. relationship with a hi-so, but the best of both world's would be the best I guess - I just haven't found that yet.

Edited July 25, 2008 by Acomes2Siam

[Naam]

I have come to the conclusion that different guys have different experiences.

Stunning observation.

worth a Ph.D.