Do Not...i Repeat Do Not Leave Thailand

[damian5000]

I'm back in the states now for about 10 days and it's horrible. Money fell below the 10k mark and decided it was time to come back and work for a bit. Wish I had invested in business with my wonderful GF while I was there, but instead just let it trickle away. Couldn't teach English in Chiang Mai because I lack a college degree.

Figured that coming back with some cash was better than coming back broke, but now wishing I had stayed to the bitter end and try to figure SOME way to make a living in Chiang Mai.

[Lobin]

I'm back in the states now for about 10 days and it's horrible. Money fell below the 10k mark and decided it was time to come back and work for a bit. Wish I had invested in business with my wonderful GF while I was there, but instead just let it trickle away. Couldn't teach English in Chiang Mai because I lack a college degree.

Figured that coming back with some cash was better than coming back broke, but now wishing I had stayed to the bitter end and try to figure SOME way to make a living in Chiang Mai.

be faithful brother... you did the right thing to go back to get some money. better off doing that than turning into what a few of my friends turned into when the severe clutching at straws begins, and some of the strangest money making ideas come to light, especially after a few! no dignity some people!

however you are right and should have invested wisely rather than peeing it up the wall, but its all done easily enough, you will be wiser next time. and you will be back soon enough. until then, hello from humid and rainy chiang mai. so not gloating too much as i too have to leave next week to go to work, albeit a shorter trip i imagine than your good self. in the meantime enjoy work hard and start planning now!

Edited July 25, 2008 by Lobin

[dougieboy]

I'm back in the states now for about 10 days and it's horrible. Money fell below the 10k mark and decided it was time to come back and work for a bit. Wish I had invested in business with my wonderful GF while I was there, but instead just let it trickle away. Couldn't teach English in Chiang Mai because I lack a college degree.

Figured that coming back with some cash was better than coming back broke, but now wishing I had stayed to the bitter end and try to figure SOME way to make a living in Chiang Mai.

be faithful brother... you did the right thing to go back to get some money. better off doing that than turning into what a few of my friends turned into when the severe clutching at straws begins, and some of the strangest money making ideas come to light, especially after a few! no dignity some people!

however you are right and should have invested wisely rather than peeing it up the wall, but its all done easily enough, you will be wiser next time. and you will be back soon enough. until then, hello from humid and rainy chiang mai. so not gloating too much as i too have to leave next week to go to work, albeit a shorter trip i imagine than your good self. in the meantime enjoy work hard and start planning now!

I couldn't be insensitive lol

[philliphn]

Some advice.

Work!

Save your money!

Don't just buy a lot of toys!

This is what I have done all my life. Now in one year ten months I can retire in Thailand with a pension, of half pay for life , medical benefits, and one million dollars in savings. That may not be much compared to what other Thaivisans have accumulated. But it is enough. The moral of the story is most of us must work and save over a long peroid of time. Sorry that you must return to the west. I would have preferred to just stay in Thailand a long time ago. Most of us must make some sacrifices to achieve worth while goals. You will likely have to do that as well.

Edited July 25, 2008 by philliphn

[swain]

The problem with going back to the USA is that the work is only part of it. Getting caught up in the same distracting diversions is a never ending process. Zaps the life right out of you. I understand your desire to stay. I cant see myself leaving again. I can work from here in Chiang Mai but its only trickling in. The last time I went back I was in constant stress over day to day issues.

Fast pace, fast food, but what feels like slow lingering death! Sorry I don't mean to be so down on the USA. This is just my experience and I cant or wont think about what my life was like before I came here.

[haybilly]

The problem with going back to the USA is that the work is only part of it. Getting caught up in the same distracting diversions is a never ending process. Zaps the life right out of you. I understand your desire to stay. I cant see myself leaving again. I can work from here in Chiang Mai but its only trickling in. The last time I went back I was in constant stress over day to day issues.

Fast pace, fast food, but what feels like slow lingering death! Sorry I don't mean to be so down on the USA. This is just my experience and I cant or wont think about what my life was like before I came here.

Hey, c'mon Cookie Monster--be truthful--you're missing those Egg-MacMurder's everyday--joking!

[Ulysses G.]

Figured that coming back with some cash was better than coming back broke, but now wishing I had stayed to the bitter end and try to figure SOME way to make a living in Chiang Mai.

You did the right thing. Scraping the bottom to stay in Thailand - i.e. teaching English - with no funds gets old very fast and this is a TERRIBLE time to be starting any kind of new business. Make some money, watch the world economy carefullyand come back with a solid business plan and lots of cash when things pick up.

[BlackArtemis]

I'm heading home as well in Oct, but to stay for good. Be happy that you had the foresight to come and pick up your cash reserves before all your $ ran out.

You could always get a 2 year degree while home and come back over.

Good luck

[Shotime]

It's definitely better to leave here with some money in your pocket. Can I ask what is so horrible there? I know it's no paradise, but has anything changed that much since I've been home last (8 months ago)? I talk to my son occasionally, and he sounds very stressed. Gas prices, slow work, etc., but he's somewhat neurotic anyway.

Edited July 26, 2008 by Shotime

[swain]

I would agree that coming with bags full of cash is the way to go. But the problem with going back is that you start to get caught up in the life again, car payments, possessions that you don't really need or want, going out to eat etc.. Lifestyle conforms to the money your making. Sure you can sock away small amounts but to live in that world the distractions are the only way to self medicate. If your healthy, excessive exercise can take the place of the things mentioned above but I see too many people slip back into this horrid circle of life that's very hard to get out of. Years go by and you see your life tick tock away doing something you really don't want to do. I might older than the OP and I do have a way to make money over here. But I think looking for a way, to get to where you want to be in the most direct route is the way to go. Living for tomorrow is not living.

Edited July 26, 2008 by swain

[iainiain101]

why didnt you just take your gf with you? sounds like what you are missing!!!

[Ulysses G.]

You could always get a 2 year degree while home and come back over.

One needs a Bachelors/ 4 year degree.

[PeaceBlondie]

I went back to Texas after almost 3 years in Latin America. Major mistake. Trained accountant, making $7.50 an hour on the night shift. Rent, car, motorbike, 2 insurance policies, and I thought gasoline was expensive then.

He probably could not get a long term visa for his Thai gf to come to the USA.

But Thailand is not the only viable alternative. Unless, of course, the Thai girlfriend...

[BlackArtemis]

You could always get a 2 year degree while home and come back over.

One needs a Bachelors/ 4 year degree.

Ahh yeah you are right. I forgot all the new hoops being set up. I watch my coworkers scramble around to get class hours done and other MoE BS and I just don't feel so bad about going home.

Besides PA doesn't have Dengue Fever frickin' 8 day hospital stay....

[ChiangMaiFurnishedApts]

I would agree that coming with bags full of cash is the way to go. But the problem with going back is that you start to get caught up in the life again, car payments, possessions that you don't really need or want, going out to eat etc.. Lifestyle conforms to the money your making. Sure you can sock away small amounts but to live in that world the distractions are the only way to self medicate. If your healthy, excessive exercise can take the place of the things mentioned above but I see too many people slip back into this horrid circle of life that's very hard to get out of. Years go by and you see your life tick tock away doing something you really don't want to do. I might older than the OP and I do have a way to make money over here. But I think looking for a way, to get to where you want to be in the most direct route is the way to go. Living for tomorrow is not living.

Its hard to break the cycle of debt especially when you have a lease contract that ends one time, a car lease that ends 6 months later and a cell fone contract you have another 1 year to go on.

I went home a few years ago to work and to start up my life again cost me a fortune. its amazing how much money you need to spend to find an apartment, buy a car, cell fone , winter clothes,.........

I have friends I keep telling to " get out " and take what money they have and come over here. I even offered to pay their air fare for them ( that was until recently ) just so that can see that there is a better way of life. But some people are just happy in their own enviorement and will never stray more than 50 KM from where they were born.

[HappyD]

I'm back in the states now for about 10 days and it's horrible. Money fell below the 10k mark and decided it was time to come back and work for a bit. Wish I had invested in business with my wonderful GF while I was there, but instead just let it trickle away. Couldn't teach English in Chiang Mai because I lack a college degree.

Figured that coming back with some cash was better than coming back broke, but now wishing I had stayed to the bitter end and try to figure SOME way to make a living in Chiang Mai.

Get real

Grow up

leave your dream

[Jingthing]

It's definitely better to leave here with some money in your pocket. Can I ask what is so horrible there? I know it's no paradise, but has anything changed that much since I've been home last (8 months ago)? I talk to my son occasionally, and he sounds very stressed. Gas prices, slow work, etc., but he's somewhat neurotic anyway.

Yes, I definitely felt a very DARK and STRESSFUL mood in America these days (on my recent long visit). I was definitely glad to get on the plane outta there!

Perhaps this explains it one way:

Unhappy America

http://www.economist.com/opinion/displayst...ory_id=11791539

Edited July 26, 2008 by Jingthing

[BlackArtemis]

I still think it's a fine place to live and work if you are educated and willing to be flexible in finding a job. It's mostly it and tech jobs that are getting screwed over the worst now (yes I know all job sectors are being screwed).

[Lobin]

I'm back in the states now for about 10 days and it's horrible. Money fell below the 10k mark and decided it was time to come back and work for a bit. Wish I had invested in business with my wonderful GF while I was there, but instead just let it trickle away. Couldn't teach English in Chiang Mai because I lack a college degree.

Figured that coming back with some cash was better than coming back broke, but now wishing I had stayed to the bitter end and try to figure SOME way to make a living in Chiang Mai.

Get real

Grow up

leave your dream

sounds a tad bitter, but it is an option nonetheless!

[swain]

I think with a new leader in the white house whom ever that might be will help with the moral of the USA. The best is yet to come and everyone has experienced problems along the path. The USA is down but not out. Watch for the new and improved version coming to the world currency soon.

As far as staying in Thailand broke and eeking out a living as apposed to going back and getting sucked back into the grind. Both have advantages and disadvantages. You know my stance so I wont repeat myself. But take the time and write down the pros and cons and come up with the choice that best fits with your lifestyle.

[damian5000]

Simply f*n WOW. I never expected so much support / ideas / recommendations. Now being back for a few weeks, I'm even more distraught than when I first posted.

Someone mentioned, and I must admit, being away from the GF is a big part of it, and unfortunately I worked under the table for several years before coming to Thailand, so have no proof she would have support over here, and no family willing to do the papers.

I really am ready to just come back with what I have left (which would be about a measly 7k US after buying the ticket) and live it out to the bitter end. I know it's not the smartest thing to do, but I'm so uncomfortable here I'm not sure I can make myself stay. The next week should tell.

Peace, and thanks for the advice even if I don't heed it...

-Damian

[realthaideal]

Damian,

There are options in the hotel industry, in the education industry, and several others. If you work under the table, what is your work back in the USA ? Are you a waiter ? Construction ? What ? They both have analogous industries here that you could maybe insert yourself into if you package yourself right. For instance as a waiter you know a ton about customer service and probably staff management, exactly what hotels are looking for all the time. As for construction - let's not even get started on Thai standards - there may be a way for you to do consultant work out here for developers or architects looking to build to suit the Farang mkt. Just be calm and get your ducks in a row by getting some sort of certification or something together that starts to afford you the legitimate right to call yourself something that will be recognized and rewarded over here. At the very least maybe get a TOEFL to teach. But come here set up to do more than survive - though I understand longing for another may make you want to be rash and not wait.

[britmaveric]

You make the best of wherever you are.

[mcgriffith]

I wouldn't despair too much, damian.

There are worst places to be in the world today. At least you are reasonably mobile, and it sounds like you are not old. You have options.

Having said that...I haven't left Thailand in 2 years- and have no compelling reason to leave. Told my 23 yr old son, my mom and sisters and US friends much the same. If they want to see me, they are more than welcome to visit.

Hey, they're living in the Land Of Milk And Honey....they can afford it!

[RoastLamb]

I first went to Thailand about two years ago and met a girl who I stayed with for about five months before finances called and i hauled myself away to lands of plenty. At that point I was exactly the same as the OP, devastated, desperate to go back to Thailand, reading this forum every day, searching youtube for videos of Thailand, zooming in to my guesthouse and my favourite haunts on Google Earth... the works. I counted the days until I was back, and eventually, after about six or seven long and miserable months I was back, and back with the girl.

I stayed with the girl for another two or three months, having a wonderful time, but eventually my thoughts began to slide into worries about having to leave again and having to endure another six months of torture. So I made a decision to leave the girl. I spent another two months in Thailand 'entertaining' myself while I got over my initial feelings of loss and began (reluctantly) forgetting about her, before it was time to leave once again. Now, this time, three months in, I have only felt a fraction of the longing for Thailand that I felt before. I still love the country, probably more so now than ever, and I still look forward to landing in BKK at some point in the future, but that intensity is not there, I'm not desperate, I'm not counting down the days. I'm able to be happy.

So in short, although it doesn't really help the OP: It's all about the girl.

[Rasseru]

There are worst places to be in the world today.

Guantanemo Bay, f'rinstance.

[siamamerican]

Didn't you post previously that your GF was pregnant?

Regardless, returning to the US was the correct choice. I was in the same position 6 years ago. I hated adjusting to the real world and was preoccupied with fantasies of returning to Thailand. Just like you, I had 10k upon returning and debated returning and living a simple life. Through the fog, I thankfully made the right choice.

As one poster stated, “let go of the dream”. Find a job and work harder than anyone else and always look for opportunities to advance yourself. It's a simplistic solution, but it works and you really don't have any other option.

Also, don't worry how bad that first job is. You've have been out of the job market for some time and probably are going to have to make some sacrifices. With any luck, after a year , you will have the financial means to bring your GF to the states. If she has moved on, it wasn't meant to be.

[gpdjohn]

There are worst places to be in the world today.

Guantanemo Bay, f'rinstance.

It's actually not a bad place to be stationed. Surf and sand...

I could think of worse places to be than that.

Gila Bend Gunnery Range would be one....

[Ulysses G.]

The orange, all cotton PJs look really comfy!

[lannarebirth]

There are worst places to be in the world today.

Guantanemo Bay, f'rinstance.

It's actually not a bad place to be stationed. Surf and sand...

I could think of worse places to be than that.

Gila Bend Gunnery Range would be one....

Or the Maricopa County Jail in summertime.