Do You Help The Family?

[Monsterman]

Isn't it true you marry a thai girl you pretty much marry her family also??

[Doctor John]

Isn't it true  you marry a thai girl you pretty much marry her family also??  

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No, but you will probably help out more than you would have done if you had married a girl from a country that has old aged pensions and social security.

If your wifes family need help you are also part of that family. It is up to you to decide how much help you are able or willing to give.

Quite normal I think.

[RamdomChances]

Isn't it true  you marry a thai girl you pretty much marry her family also?? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The rest of the family were already married so it was just us two

I bought Land in Loei, and I will make a house soon. I do this for my girlfriends future, should I ever leave her , she will have something to fall back on, I really do think of it as OUR house, not hers or mine.

I seem to remember an ex-member here use to have some land in Loei, mabye you know him

[Doctor John]

I seem to remember an ex-member here use to have some land in Loei, mabye you know him

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yea, I think it was that green guy, Bugs i think his name was.............

[Simbo]

Isn't it true  you marry a thai girl you pretty much marry her family also??  

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No, but you will probably help out more than you would have done, if you had married a girl from a country that has old aged pensions and social security.

If your wifes family need help you are also part of that family. It is up to you to decide how much help you are able or willing to give.

Quite normal I think.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Why is it " up to you" Surely they can all club together and help out. Why do they always look to the farang?

[nogutsnoapplepie]

Thai's will always take the easy option.Spose like most folks do.

[RamdomChances]

Thai's will always take the easy option.Spose like most folks do.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I take the easy option where ever possible, it's............easier

Yea, I think it was that green guy, Bugs i think his name was.............

Yea something like that

[Doctor John]

    Why is it " up to you" Surely they can all club together and help out. Why do they always look to the farang?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am not sure that THEY always look to the Farang, and if I was earning 3000 Baht a month in a Field in Isaan, I doubt I would help out as much, but I would still chip in what I could, same as everybody else.

But I do not earn 3000 Baht a month in a Field, so I really do not mind helping out at all. In fact I like to think that a relativley small contribution from me can make someones life a little bit better.

I was once poor myself, I had nothing. I lived in a 1800 baht a month room in Soi Skaw Beach in Pattaya, 4 people in one small room, 3 go-go girls and me. I had been through a very tough period in my life, those girls had very little, but they still sent money home to their families and would come home in the evening during their 30 minute break and bring me some food, One girl bought me some shoes cos my copy trainers had split at the seams.

My so called Farang friends that had helped me piss all of my money up the wall where noticable in their absence.

I have had the benifit of the Generosity of Thai people, I now have a Job working overseas that pays disgustingly well, so I can afford to help those less fortunate than I am. And I enjoy doing it.

[bkkexplorer]

If you marry a Thai girl you become part of the family, do you help out the family in time of need, or do you refuse to help.

If you do help, do you do it to stop your wife moaning, or do you do it because you want to ?

In time of need, any decent person should help out if they have the means to. After all, they are now your family. I have done so in the past and continue to do so as long as I can.

Yes, my wife does moan but I do it because I want to and not to shut her up. Like one of the other members said, mostly for education or medication/hospitals.

The discussion of how many thais expect their 'rich' farang husbands to save them from poverty or settle money problems really depends on what class of thais you have married into. The middle class are not as pushy or expecting the farang to pick up the bills. Remember the face thing over here, thais wouldn't ask for something if they already have it themselves. Well, most of them wouldn't... The farmers who are the majority of the poor people here, live a very basic life without the extras or cash stashed aside in case of emergency. Is it wrong for them to ask us, the farangs whom they see living a better life then them for help. No! What I do think is wrong is the mindset, the ladies marrying into a relationship expecting the the farang to be financially responsible for the family. This is a great recipe for disaster and anyone who sees that coming be warned. Who is to blame for this? Culture or her upbringing or something else?

[Doctor John]

Who is to blame for this? Culture or her upbringing or something else?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The something else may be the Farang that told her he would look after her and her family when he was shagging her for all his worth when they first met.

[dereklev]

Nah, I wont lend any more money to Farangs now. My chances of getting ripped off have dramatically decreased. 

Couldn't agree more!!

As for the original question, yes I help the family and they help me.

I think that wherever you marry, like it or not, you marry the family too.

My wife has 7 brothers, some successful and some not. She pays an equal share with those who can afford (3 or 4) to help those in need.

I have never been asked to pay for anything that the others do not also chip in for.

I do not believe my situation is unique, I am sure many of you are in the same boat.

At least I hope so!!!

[Simbo]

  LOL  love it. deduce what you will about me. I just see things as they really are in this wonderful land. This safe haven from the wicked west, where life is easy and the people love you.

                                                                      I just sit back and observe. Ly low is the best policy here, or you may become another statistic

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So why are you still here , pray tell ?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Can't you read?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It seems you live near Pattaya and have a low opinion of the whole Thai race , somewhat contentious in my book. Perhaps you are married to a gold digging biatch , I'm pleased for you!

No really!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I was a long time ago, but am free now, never to marry a Thai or other again. I have a good partner, but make no promises of marriage. Why spoil a good relationship?

[bkkexplorer]

Isn't it true  you marry a thai girl you pretty much marry her family also?? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

not true, you marry a thai girl and her whole village is thrown in.

[Simbo]

    Why is it " up to you" Surely they can all club together and help out. Why do they always look to the farang?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am not sure that THEY always look to the Farang, and if I was earning 3000 Baht a month in a Field in Isaan, I doubt I would help out as much, but I would still chip in what I could, same as everybody else.

But I do not earn 3000 Baht a month in a Field, so I really do not mind helping out at all. In fact I like to think that a relativley small contribution from me can make someones life a little bit better.

I was once poor myself, I had nothing. I lived in a 1800 baht a month room in Soi Skaw Beach in Pattaya, 4 people in one small room, 3 go-go girls and me. I had been through a very tough period in my life, those girls had very little, but they still sent money home to their families and would come home in the evening during their 30 minute break and bring me some food, One girl bought me some shoes cos my copy trainers had split at the seams.

My so called Farang friends that had helped me piss all of my money up the wall where noticable in their absence.

I have had the benifit of the Generosity of Thai people, I now have a Job working overseas that pays disgustingly well, so I can afford to help those less fortunate than I am. And I enjoy doing it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

it's easy to be generous, when you are paid ' disgustingly well' When I win the English lotterie, I will be soooo generous to Thai, but my own family comes first.

[Doctor John]

 

it's easy to be generous, when you are paid ' disgustingly well' When I win the English lotterie, I will be soooo generous to Thai, but my own family comes first.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

They are my Family.

They just happen to be Thai.

[nogutsnoapplepie]

  

it's easy to be generous, when you are paid ' disgustingly well' When I win the English lotterie, I will be soooo generous to Thai, but my own family comes first.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

They are my Family.

They just happen to be Thai.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So DJ,what line of work are you in?

[Spee]

Isn't it true  you marry a thai girl you pretty much marry her family also?? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

IMHO, this is probably true in many situations in Thailand.

However, it is also quite common in other cultures (e.g., Filipino, Japanese, etc.).

In other words, this is not something unique to Thai-Falang marriages.

[ProfessorFart]

Seems weird I've never had to support any womans family here in the UK despite being filthy rich.

I reckon theres a lot of self delusion going on here. Face it. You ARE seen as a cash cow despite what the illusion maybe.

[Doctor John]

Seems weird I've never had to support any womans family here in the UK despite being filthy rich.

I reckon theres a lot of self delusion going on here. Face it. You ARE seen as a cash cow despite what the illusion maybe.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

In what way is it self delusion ?

If People in the UK did not have the social Security system, the Millions of claimants would find life very tough.

When we talk of a relationship in Thailand and a relationship in a country with Social security benefits, there is no real comparison between the two.

If the UK did not have benefits there would be many many poor people, and life would not be so easy there. People complain in England, but you have a good system to assist you if you are needy, I am afraid 3rd world countries do not have that same privilage.

You claim to be filthy rich, so maybe you have never been poor or hungry, I have.

Most poor people in Thailand would love to go to western countries and know that they will get help from the Government even if they do not work.

I think you are the delusional one.

[ProfessorFart]

You seem to be making an invalid excuse with all this nonsense about benefits. Since when have UK state benefits given a comfortable living?

The very structure of society in Thailand has managed to care for its weak, poor and elderly for centuries before you Western Knights in Shining armour came along to take over the role of protector of the old and frail of Thailand.

I'm sure that you will be in the new years honours list for your generous work for the defenceless and elderly in Thailand. Maybe Sir Bob Geldof will ask you to make a record...........

I'm wealthy through my own graft.

[Doctor John]

I'm wealthy through my own graft.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Of that I have no doubt.

[Doctor John]

The very structure of society in Thailand has managed to care for its weak, poor and elderly for centuries before you Western Knights in Shining armour came along to take over the role of protector of the old and frail of Thailand.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

When I was married to a French woman, we used to buy them some gifts when we went to see them, and if they ever needed something that we could provide, we would help in any way that we could.

When my Mother was alive, I would also always give her some money when i visited her.

You seem to have a problem with how people choose to spend their money.

It is usually poorer people that have this hang up. The rich usually do not give a toss how others spend their money.

But as you have told this forum that you are " Filthy Rich " and " Wealthy " I suppose it has to be true.

[ProfessorFart]

I have no problem with how anyone spends their money. Where have I said that?

If some sap wants to give his hard earned to whomever thats his luck out.

What I find confusing (and amusing) is this whole culture of self justification. So basically you are saying that a Western boyfriend in the family is the new Thai social services?

You can make all the assumptions about me you like. You don't know me therefore I'll take your lame attempts at insult as a sign you have nothing constructive to say.

[ProfessorFart]

BTW there is the world of difference between buying a token gift out of respect and being used as a cash cow.

[Doctor John]

So basically you are saying that a Western boyfriend in the family is the new Thai social services?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Not at all, but as I can afford to give a little to make someones life better, then I will.

The younger Sister will go to University if she wants to, and i hope she does. I will gladly pay the fees, something her Parents could not do.

I have also given some Farang friend of mine a 60,000 baht loan once and I never saw the &lt;deleted&gt; again, and I have lost count of the 500 and 1000 baht loans over the years to other " Filthy Rich " and " Wealthy " farangs, that just happened to be waiting for their money to be sent over.............yea right.

I used to give my Mother money, she was English, not poor, but the money I gave her on my Visits certainly made her life a little easier, and did not actually ruin me financially either.

I gave because it was my Family and because I could afford to, just as I would do now if I considered it to be just.

[Doctor John]

BTW there is the world of difference between buying a token gift out of respect and being used as a cash cow.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes you are right, I also agree with that.

[RamdomChances]

I've got lots of "cash cows", I get all my cash from them!!, your right its not the same as buying a gift for someone

[billd766]

They are my Family.

They just happen to be Thai.   

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Funny you should say that as that is my feeling also.

[easymoney]

Well, all I can say is I'm extremely unlucky, because you all seem to have caring in-laws. I've paid dowry in the form of a couple of plots of land and several other payments when requested, but never so much as a grunt from her mother. I mean, it'll be months before her mother will telephone and it'll always be a demand for money, no how are you to her daughter or is my grandson ok.

To put you in the picture:

When I first met her mother I did all the sawatdees and wais (very high), nothing back. Had given her mother money a few weeks before and just after my sawatdees were questions of money. Few years on...have the baby...no visits from mother in hospital....eventually turns up at the appartment (2 months later) - nothing for her grandson (not even kisses) but plenty of money talk with her daughter (my wife) and lots of argueing ensued, to which I told her to get the **** out and stop raising her voice in front of the boy. Took the woman about 6 months before she put her hand in her shallow pocket and actually bought her grandson anything.

I was actually praying at the time Toxin was paying out millions to families of the ones who'd died from the bird flu, that her mother and several of her siblings (namely 3 of her worthless, lazy brothers) would contract and succumb to the disease.

They may be of peasant upbringings (my wife and one of the brothers are the only ones with any real education behind them) and her mother has money coming in and land, but how much education does it take for one tiny thankyou...thai or English.

Anyway, as I said before, any phone calls for anything will fall on deaf ears for me from now on, and the wife even had a big resounding no for her mother when she telephoned last month.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What a caring Democrat attitude. Of course, that is your picture blinking with the president?

[what a life]

Not at all, but as I can afford to give a little to make someones life better, then I will.

I'm a little short at the moment mate, do you need my account details or something?

Ok, seriously, it's their own money, let them do what they want with it. I think a lot of people get jealous when farangs give their gfs loads of dosh because they haven't got any money thereself.

Obviously a lot of guys on here are used as cash cows and don't know it, and some are used as cash cows, know it and don't care as there wife/gf is 20-30 yrs younger than them. Horses for courses aint it.

If I had the cash I would help my gfs family out, but never once in 3 years have they ever asked for money, which is kind of lucky, coz as I said, little short at the moment.