Problem! (from Santa)

Dear Friends,

I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been

good this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make

some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going

to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a

little problem.

The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with

the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords leaping have knocked up the 8 maids

a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird

things to the 7 swans a-swimming.

The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and

the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird shit.

On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my

reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation. Maybe

next year I will be able to get my shit together and bring you the

things you want.

This year I suggest you get your asses down to Wal-mart before

everything is gone.