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A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked

you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60,

perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly

dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife

and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar

detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar

detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched

teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your

seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah,

well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me

over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your

seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver

turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always

talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Only when he's been drinking." :o

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