Do You Clean Yourself With Water After You Go To The Toilet?

[Datsun240Z]

I use a vacuum cleaner.....no water or paper required.

Got a picture ?

[Datsun240Z]

I am genuinely confused how other people use the hose:

"Spray then dry yourself with tissue" ??!!

If I use tissue, I tissue first then spray afterward.

It sounds like a lot of people on this thread use it whilst sitting on the toilet- for me that's unthinkable- for one, it will get my entire backside wet, and two, the position of the legs while on the toilet doesn't really allow the water to get that far into the a$s.

For me, toileting in thailand or asia is a complex affair . Once I finish, I squat all the way down on the shower floor like a rural thai and then spray thoroughly with the hose AND use soap. Furthermore, I occasionally put my finger 'inside' a little bit (gross, I know), to get the residual feces that normally wood ooze out had I not done so (gross, I know). I then have to dry myself with a towel and put all my clothes back on. In short, I only defecate at home.

My god man..

Holy shit, yeah! That's quite a mission.

[Datsun240Z]

Furthermore, I occasionally put my finger 'inside' a little bit (gross, I know), to get the residual feces that normally wood ooze out had I not done so (gross, I know).

Weird.

I use the tip of the bum gun to dig out any clinkers. Only at restaurant loos and public restrooms, though. Never at home... that would be disgusting.

Do have to be careful about digging too far, though. Especially after the incident with Uncle Derek

!! Took me 5 minutes to stand up from the floor again, thanks Polecat!

[Datsun240Z]

Japanese technology superior to anything on earth. As Japan has very sophisticated bum gun integrated in toilet seat as shown in previous post.

I like Japanese toilet seat, second is Thai bum gun, Many European country's have disgusting toilet culture.

!! Amazing Japan !! This makes shitting actually a joy

[Datsun240Z]

Actually I take a shower and use soap, if I can't I won't go but that's not a problem I have my schedule right after coffee in the morning in my home never in public unless I am ill. I also tend to shower 3 times a day I did in my country as well, before work, after work and in the summer before bed. I have been told that was odd???? But I have never been told I smell bad...

In Thailand 3 times a day is normal ( sweat, thus smell easily) ,but in colder countries not so, mostly just 1 time a day. Agree with that, never shit in public, unless no other options. Bacteria spreader number 1. How can people ever think of going into a place like this ?

[Zpete]

The bum gun is the best invention since sliced bread.

Now I have read it all.

YOU USED SLICED BREAD?

Brown or white, toast maybe?

[GarryP]

Some of the threads on TV may raise a smile but this one caused peals of laughter with some hilarious posts. Shouldn't read this one when you are at work.

[imaneggspurt]

Im not just a blaster but an irrigation sprayer/inserter,. i can inhale about 3 litres and eject it in 2 seconds !.my wife thinks i have a weird perversion, but it makes me feel clean,,when back in the uk last i hated it not being able to irrigate and was like one them dogs that cant get that last bit off and drags his arse along the ground, i just didnt feel clean, no give me the squirter for sure,.,

[imaneggspurt]

Actually I take a shower and use soap, if I can't I won't go but that's not a problem I have my schedule right after coffee in the morning in my home never in public unless I am ill. I also tend to shower 3 times a day I did in my country as well, before work, after work and in the summer before bed. I have been told that was odd???? But I have never been told I smell bad...

In Thailand 3 times a day is normal ( sweat, thus smell easily) ,but in colder countries not so, mostly just 1 time a day. Agree with that, never shit in public, unless no other options. Bacteria spreader number 1. How can people ever think of going into a place like this ?

i think id fire from the door entrance in that one !

[EvilDrSomkid]

Shouldn't read this one when you are at work.

I did/am

[laphroaig]

Always managed to be pretty regular so my daily evacuation is early morning when I first wake up. Followed by a shower of all the important little places. That said, I have tried the gun on each occasion I have been to thailand and failed miserably. Either missed entirely, hit the sack from behind or worse, the accidental colonic irrigation.

What strategy is generally followed, directed from front, back or straight upwards.

Back again soon an ill give it another go

Edited January 9, 2010 by laphroaig

[Colabamumbai]

Please remember not to eat with your left hand, in Thailand or at home.

[Colabamumbai]

I'll never forget my first night in Thailand when I actually went down to the guest house reception and said to the guy "excuse me but there's no toilet paper in the bathroom". I genuinely didn't know Thai's did it another way.

Now I'm all converted to the hose. It's cleaner and more refreshing. But I am still at a loss about that guest house room, and anywhere else for that matter, where there is no hose - but instead a huge barrel of water and a plastic sauce pan. I would really love for somebody to explain to me how that works. There's no water pressure for starters so how the hel_l do you reach? Last time I checked water was also subject to the laws of gravity, so how the hel_l do you pour water downwards onto your arse hole without getting 90% of the water on the floor or your clothes?

Somebody, please explain this to me.

Spend ten years in India or Thailand and you will figure it out. Please don't eat with your left hand. You will get funny looks.

[Colabamumbai]

Furthermore, I occasionally put my finger 'inside' a little bit (gross, I know), to get the residual feces that normally wood ooze out had I not done so (gross, I know).

Weird.

I use the tip of the bum gun to dig out any clinkers. Only at restaurant loos and public restrooms, though. Never at home... that would be disgusting.

Do have to be careful about digging too far, though. Especially after the incident with Uncle Derek

Thanks for sharing that, when I pass you on the street I often wonder, How does that guy clean his ass. You've cleared it up now.

[David006]

I am nearly crying with laughter at this thread...fantastic.. what is it about what i Arsume is mostly Brits and the bums and toilet discussions??

I remenber at home in uk as a kid ..even over xmas dinner the conversation always seem to come round to bums etc..never knew why...I "don't" think it was just my family...???

Here is my dinner time story.

..so I am in a bus station on in Thailand ( visa run)and had to go potty so off I "trot" and pay my 2 baht to be confronted with a smelly flooded "squat" ...so carefully undressing my lower half and hanging up, I balance precariously on the raised squat trying not to slip off in my bare feet.

So mission accomplished, I now reach for the stun gun hose and apply it from the rear. WELL! the front of of the squat is nicely angle "up" right?.. and the pressure from the 'gun" is about 2000 psi.SOOO..water hits bum and residue propels onto upward slope of bowl carrying on in beautiful arc straight into my down turned face!! Jesus H! Not happy about that facial!!... Moral...check your pressure before applying jet..

...my mother nearly died laughing when I told the table at a wedding in Canada...the Canadians were "not amused"..

I have a regulating "tap" on the bum washers in our house and always look "up" now..maybe should wear a welding mask too

[Dave the Dude]

Now I have read it all.

YOU USED SLICED BREAD?

Brown or white, toast maybe?

Wonder what was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread??

Polecat... You have made me homesick, Salf London Press...No, not really

Bum Guns the way to go.

Unfortunetly, doesnt meet UK Water Bylaws otherwise they would be fitted there more, I'm sure (Happy Ex Plumber)

Dave

[Tenchu]

Well, paper does not clean ass as well as water does. That's fact. So those who dislike the ass blaster surely have dirtier asses.

[carmine]

How do you stop from getting your entire backside wet? I only use it if I'm about to take a shower after due to that problem.

I think you're going into overkill mate!

[djlest]

After 6 years using the high jet anal technique

and going back to blightly for the first time a few months back...

I can confirm it is discusting wiping ones arse with just toilet paper, i could still feel the clinkers dried a few days later, and we im sure i could smell it on others...

having said that..

having a high powered anal jet back in Blightly at -5 degrees may be a problem - i confess

but a combination of toilet paper after the spray... yes that is the way forward...

a revolution in Anal Cleanliness

[JerryPara]

There's nothing quite like the soothing flow of the bum gun once you've finished the sports pages..It surely is an invention of the Gods.

Personally, I prefer the new Bidet's that are being rolled-out world wide. Not only do they come with a remote control to adjust pressure level and type, you can programme it to run your home theatre.

The Japanese have perfected this "Bidet" to a rocket science... well water JET science. Fully adjustable, self cleaning, it extended in the toilet then full retracts unnoticeable, the seat is fully cushioned and even warmed (it is cold in Japan). I had to see how it worked without actually trying at first ... so I defeated the "a person is sitting on the seat" sensor while standing off to the side. The dam_n thing sprayed up and out of the bathroom all the way to the closed across the room's hallway.

I have a colleague that swears by it and bought one for his house back in Farang land.

[lvxpat]

I'll never forget my first night in Thailand when I actually went down to the guest house reception and said to the guy "excuse me but there's no toilet paper in the bathroom". I genuinely didn't know Thai's did it another way.

Now I'm all converted to the hose. It's cleaner and more refreshing. But I am still at a loss about that guest house room, and anywhere else for that matter, where there is no hose - but instead a huge barrel of water and a plastic sauce pan. I would really love for somebody to explain to me how that works. There's no water pressure for starters so how the hel_l do you reach? Last time I checked water was also subject to the laws of gravity, so how the hel_l do you pour water downwards onto your arse hole without getting 90% of the water on the floor or your clothes?

Somebody, please explain this to me.

Stand on your head

[finner]

Isn't Thailand fun? There are some erogenous zones you can hit with the sprayer if you've got the pressure and aim just right but don't do it if there's a lineup..........

[tutsiwarrior]

just got home from BKK where we stayed in a newish hotel that didn't have bum squirters ...hadta squat in the bath tub with the bathing flex an' watch the bits coursing down to the drain btw yer legs...

to advise a previous poster, with the tub an' ladle arrangement ye squat and pivot yer right elbow offa yer right knee with a swinging right hand wrist motion with the left hand down near the action as was demonstrated to me by a previous girlfriend in Indonesia...no probs if yer nekkid...

[cavelight]

In the UK I use baby wipes - gets me really clean.

In LOS, love the a$s spray - works fine, but if I'm out and about, I always wash again immediately I get home. UK seems dirty not to have the spray - rather uncivilised. As Gandhi once said when asked about Western Civilisation: "I think it would be a good idea".

The other civilised thing I like about LOS is that children wai adults, rather than stabbing/shooting them like they do in Manchester.

[prefabs]

Kinda off topic a little, but what happened to the young Thai politician who was nicknamed "Mr Happy Toilet?" I imagine he was flushed with his early success in getting general acceptance of flush type lavatories

[JimShortz]

having a high powered anal jet back in Blightly at -5 degrees may be a problem - i confess

Surely it is really easy to fit a nice warm water bum gun in a cold country - unless your bathroom doesn't have a warm water supply!

Personally I would ignore any and all regulations as to whether or not I can fit a bum gun in my own bathroom in a private house. I don't recall ever having the bib going around checking people's plumbing... ( I wouldn't let them check mine - cheeky devils ).

All you would need to do is take feeds from both hot and cold and then join them before they get to the bum gun. With both feeds having a valve to adjust the flow this would allow you to get the required temperature and pressure at the business end (to meet personal irrigation level preferences...)! For anyone with reasonable plumbing ability this is surely really easy...

The flows on each feed would only need to be adjusted occasionally, due to seasonal changes in the temperature of the cold water feed. At least this is true if your house has a combi boiler, as most UK homes now do, where the hot water has a pretty constant temperature. If you have a tank this may lead alternately to a frozen or burnt bum, but at least it would be clean! Either way you would need to squirt the gun for a few moments to warm the water, but really I can't see any problem with this.

Roll on clean asses in the "developed" western countries!

[WormFarmer]

Now this is what all you dirty bums need. See the jet nozzle, that's connected to the incoming water supply at mains pressure. It is controlled by the easy to reach valve on the right - the lower valve is the water supply to the cistern. The angle and direction of the jet can be adjusted to suit. Depending on how much you open the valve the experience can be quite up-lifting. For UK it could probably be attached through a mixer tap. Don't you just wish you had one of these?

[Zpete]

having a high powered anal jet back in Blightly at -5 degrees may be a problem - i confess

Surely it is really easy to fit a nice warm water bum gun in a cold country - unless your bathroom doesn't have a warm water supply!

Personally I would ignore any and all regulations as to whether or not I can fit a bum gun in my own bathroom in a private house. I don't recall ever having the bib going around checking people's plumbing... ( I wouldn't let them check mine - cheeky devils ).

All you would need to do is take feeds from both hot and cold and then join them before they get to the bum gun. With both feeds having a valve to adjust the flow this would allow you to get the required temperature and pressure at the business end (to meet personal irrigation level preferences...)! For anyone with reasonable plumbing ability this is surely really easy...

The flows on each feed would only need to be adjusted occasionally, due to seasonal changes in the temperature of the cold water feed. At least this is true if your house has a combi boiler, as most UK homes now do, where the hot water has a pretty constant temperature. If you have a tank this may lead alternately to a frozen or burnt bum, but at least it would be clean! Either way you would need to squirt the gun for a few moments to warm the water, but really I can't see any problem with this.

Roll on clean asses in the "developed" western countries!

Yeah, but 1st few mins would be cold.

Guess one could attatch it to a low temp undersink instant hot water device.

Who cares.........

[tingtongfarang]

I even got to the point that if i need to use a toilet elsewhere other than at home i first look to see if there a bum gun or not, If not then unless its an emergency i,l wait till i find a toilet which has one ...i,m squirt and drip dry guy,

I noticed there are thai women who irrigate themself for 10 mintutes or more...i mean inhale or inject the water and release it.

[tonglen]

Youre all wrong here, guys. Thoroughness is the key...

I use an alternating method of spray ,wipe, spray, wipe at least 100 times or whenever I'm out of TP. Many of my friends cannot afford me coming over and using their loos for #2. I then use my computer keyboard spray to finish it off with air and for the finale, baby powder. I then get a Thai massage, oil please. This keeps my bowels supple.

Or I use the hokey pokey method. What's that, you say? I'm Glad you asked.

Ahem..."You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out, you unwrap the Tp and you shake it all about, you spray the little hose, wash your hands in the sink and dry them out, do the hokey pokey, that's what it's all about.....

This coversation is about the weirdest Ive seen in a while, which is saying alot on these boards. If you asked some guy this at a bar, you would get pummelled. Odd, indeed.