Old Farang Ladies In Bangkok

[Valjean]

My mother in the US is 83 and recently had a stroke so has trouble walking. I think in time she may but she will never be independent again. Just a bit ago she was in her lovely condo, driving herself to volunteer work and to see friends. Now she’s in a nursing home where in her words “people are waiting to die”.

I’m considering having her come stay here with me – it’s no problem for my wife and all and in her visits she loves our busy house full of life – our 4 year old, the dogs, our maid and her kids, it’s a busy place.

The only thing I worry about is some occasional companionship for her. She is very social and likes to meet up with others seniors and just have some small talk and do things. If it was once a week that would be grand.

Is there any community at all where old English-speaking farangs meet up? Are their old farang ladies in Thailand who might enjoy a cup of coffee or lunch from time to time?

Let me know what you know.

[cognos]

Good idea..your mom deserves it ( on fathers day ironically) , and you are jai dee and it will work out. (My mom couldn't come to our wedding in Phuket because of her vertigo..but she did visit LOS 14 times..) Someone will help you with the contacts in BKK for social activities for your mom with some of her peer group..she will meet some fascinating seniors I am sure. God Bless, Dean

[cognos]

off topic sorry..fathers day was yesterday in Canada..oops get your mom over asap if that is your plan..as maybe later she could not fly, like mine

[phetaroi]

Touching to read the original poster's message.

My mom visited me here in Thailand twice...both times when she was quite old. When she was 73 we drove out to Issan and I wanted to go to Pa Taem cliff paintings. Once we got there and I realized it was a short hike down to the paintings, I pretended I had changed my mind because she wouldn't be able to do the trip back up the cliffs. She replied, "Okay, you stay here. I'm going down!" And she did, and did just fine.

My Thai SO speaks fondly of her so often. Her visits here were a great treasure.

So, while I don't have the answer to the question asked, my best wishes to you and your mother in this regard.

What about the visa?

[BigSnake]

It would be a really long trip for your mom at age 83, I for don't think it would be easy for her in the land of smiles, trying to meet new friends. You should know ever if she is able to go around/drive/take bus/taxi in Thailand this is a daunting task for some 38 year old, however you know your mom best, but do give it some serious thoughts before bring her over, you might want to discuss your idea with some other close family members(sister/brother/aunt/uncle)

[jumnien]

I am hoping everyday that my 77 year old mother will come to live with us in Thailand and get to know her grandchildren on a daily basis. I've been running from my family for many years, but 12 years living in Thailand has changed me tremendously, or is it just getting older myself? I write this as my Thai mother-in-law sits playing with my children in the other room. We are all truly blessed.

[Sweet Dreams]

American Women's Group, and British Women's Group (google details), are a good place to start.

There are many older Western women here, some have come to join younger family members and some have been here for 40-50 years - lots of fun and very happy to meet new comers!

[Valjean]

Hi All - thanks for the help and suggestions. My mom has been here twice, she flew over here a alone when she was 81 so she's always been independent - until the stroke living alone, driving and having a busy life.

I agree with the comments about meeting new friends - that worries me. However to the extent she's more and more incapable of getting out and about she's going to end up meeting new friends in a nursing home anyway. Which is still easier than here.

Anyway tough decision - and really one I don't know if she can make. If she would really understand that she's probably buying a 1 way ticket and could get here and be unable to return if she wanted. That's problematic.

Anyway thanks all and here's a fun story about when Mom met future wife...

I met my wife traveling with my Mom and sister up country. My future wife-to-be worked at a guest house we were staying at. My mom took to her right away and thought she was the most adorable young woman. My wife's nickname is Meow and she was wearing a t-shirt with a cat telling my mom Meow means cat in Thai. (really her name is Mameow the fruit and not meow as cat in but she'd found easier for frarangs to remember) To make a long story short after my mom and sister went to bed the two of us went out to have to have a beer and chat.

The next day driving in the car I told my mom and sister that I went out with Meow the night before. They both felt she was too young (and being Thai looking younger than she is). My mom, in confusion over her name that she knew was something about cats, said to me "That pussy is too young for you". My sister and I had a good laugh driving down the road...

But with some move visits here and there they are quite close and my mom adores her young daughter in law.

Edited June 22, 2009 by Valjean

[Robert44]

I think it's a great idea.

I brought my parents over about 8 years ago - they are now 84 and 86 years old.

The only stipulation they gave was that they not live in BKK or further south as too humid and they do not like big cities.

So we built them a house up north just outside Chiang Rai, about 7 mins froma good hospital and 15 mins from the airport.

They love it and I am sure they are better off heath wise than in the UK, as my father had a quad heart bypass 15 years ago now and at the time they advised he would be lucky to see 5 to 8 more years.

They go into town every couple of days for shopping and lunch at their local's to chat and see what's going on.

I think very easy for your mum to meet people if she want's too, as most expat here are of mainly over 60.

She will also have you and your family but would reconsider BKK if you can unless she is a city girl.

Good luck

[Valjean]

I think it's a great idea.

I brought my parents over about 8 years ago - they are now 84 and 86 years old.

The only stipulation they gave was that they not live in BKK or further south as too humid and they do not like big cities.

So we built them a house up north just outside Chiang Rai, about 7 mins froma good hospital and 15 mins from the airport.

They love it and I am sure they are better off heath wise than in the UK, as my father had a quad heart bypass 15 years ago now and at the time they advised he would be lucky to see 5 to 8 more years.

They go into town every couple of days for shopping and lunch at their local's to chat and see what's going on.

I think very easy for your mum to meet people if she want's too, as most expat here are of mainly over 60.

She will also have you and your family but would reconsider BKK if you can unless she is a city girl.

Good luck

thanks for the reply. For now we are settled in Bangkok as I have a busines here and our son in school. (and I like it). All things being equal she'd be better perhaps with less city but she's OK with it. We live in a nice quite neighborhood, trees, houses, families and quiet so that makes a big difference.

Anyway thanks!