Gf's Husband Does Not Want To Divorce

[djayz]

My Thai gf (not a bar lady) and I know each other about 14 months now and we are getting along just GREAT. I am a VERY down-to-earth guy and am not letting my emotions run away with me and I am taking all of this very "sabai sabai".

The problem is my Thai gf is still married to a Thai man, who she does not love. Apparently their relationship ceased to exist about 3 years ago and she finally left him in October 2008 (of her own accord). She told me that he has never abused her in anyway but she simply does not love him (they married because she was pregnant with his child...).

She wants a divorce but he, on the other hand, does not want a divorce. He only knows about me since very recently (and has demanded monetary compensation from me in various e-mails and text messages - which he doesn't have a hope-in-hel_l of ever getting from me as I simply refuse to pay him to bugger off).

What is the legal situation in Thailand regarding this? My gf and I want to move together and start a new life but we both want a "clean cut" as neither of us want any unpleasant, dramatic scenes if he ever decides to make problems for us.

What happens if a Thai wife wants to divorce her (Thai) husband but he does not agree to it?

I would be very grateful if I could get some useful comments/tips. I am not interested in any comments along the lines of "Thai lady no good"...

[simon43]

Be careful! If your GF is still legally married to this man AND you have had sex with her, then according to Thai Family law, her husband can claim monetary compensation from you. That is the written law (check with Issan Lawyers who provide a very good English translation), and this law is not just a 'paper' law! (I have read of several cases where the 'BF' has had to pay up in the Thai court for 'screwing' the man's wife).

The fact that she has not lived with him for a period of time may have some bearing on this. But if I were you, I would check this out very carefully. His claim for monetary compensation may well be because he knows Thai family law better than you!!

(I know these facts because I was advised by my lawyer to sue the prat who screwed my 'ex' when she was still my wife. Regretfully, the man was considerably poorer than me - which is saying something! - and not worth the effort...)

Simon

Edited August 7, 2009 by simon43

[Garry9999]

Be careful! If your GF is still legally married to this man AND you have had sex with her, then according to Thai Family law, her husband can claim monetary compensation from you. That is the written law (check with Issan Lawyers who provide a very good English translation), and this law is not just a 'paper' law! (I have read of several cases where the 'BF' has had to pay up in the Thai court for 'screwing' the man's wife).

The fact that she has not lived with him for a period of time may have some bearing on this. But if I were you, I would check this out very carefully. His claim for monetary compensation may well be because he knows Thai family law better than you!!

(I know these facts because I was advised by my lawyer to sue the prat who screwed my 'ex' when she was still my wife. Regretfully, the man was considerably poorer than me - which is saying something! - and not worth the effort...)

Simon

Simon is quite correct, be careful, divorce laws in Thailand very much favor the husband.

[G54]

That was very interesting, simon. And well worth remembering for the future and any possible relationships.

[mahtin]

Check out whether a civil marriage took place, or simply a Buddhist ceremony.

[stickyrice]

I am a VERY down-to-earth guy and am not letting my emotions run away with me and I am taking all of this very "sabai sabai".

I know it is very distasteful to pay the husband to go away. Emotionally, no one would want to pay; but logically, it it might be less stress for both of you and possibily less money in the long run.

But, my humble opinion is very biased, I am into avoidance of conflict.

[Thanyaburi Mac]

My Thai gf (not a bar lady) and I know each other about 14 months now and we are getting along just GREAT. I am a VERY down-to-earth guy and am not letting my emotions run away with me and I am taking all of this very "sabai sabai".

The problem is my Thai gf is still married to a Thai man, who she does not love. Apparently their relationship ceased to exist about 3 years ago and she finally left him in October 2008 (of her own accord). She told me that he has never abused her in anyway but she simply does not love him (they married because she was pregnant with his child...).

She wants a divorce but he, on the other hand, does not want a divorce. He only knows about me since very recently (and has demanded monetary compensation from me in various e-mails and text messages - which he doesn't have a hope-in-hel_l of ever getting from me as I simply refuse to pay him to bugger off).

What is the legal situation in Thailand regarding this? My gf and I want to move together and start a new life but we both want a "clean cut" as neither of us want any unpleasant, dramatic scenes if he ever decides to make problems for us.

What happens if a Thai wife wants to divorce her (Thai) husband but he does not agree to it?

I would be very grateful if I could get some useful comments/tips. I am not interested in any comments along the lines of "Thai lady no good"...

You should perhaps go down to a branch of ASIA BOOKS and buy a copy of the Thai CIVIL AND COMMERCIAL CODE, Thai on one page and English on the facing page, article by article. There's a large section on divorce. I reviewed this when my then GF needed to get divorce some lots of years ago. The grounds for a contested divorce in the court are listed.

Also take a look here, might be online:

http://www.samuiforsale.com/Civil_Code_text_English_I.htm

Mac

[sunholidaysun1]

As Mahtin said, is it a local marraige or done legally through the Amphur ? Would be interesting to find out if the village type marraige (even though its more of an engagement ) is still classed as husband and wife - Common Law, as in Europe, in which case if it is classed as a marraige , then I think its only by luck there are not thousand of farangs being hauled up to the local judge .

[john1000]

I think pay him... you dont know what can happen; emotions in Thai men who lose face especially with a wife choosing you over her husband, could lead you into unknown and possibly unpleasant territory....

Think long term...

[Brigante7]

Be careful! If your GF is still legally married to this man AND you have had sex with her, then according to Thai Family law, her husband can claim monetary compensation from you. That is the written law (check with Issan Lawyers who provide a very good English translation), and this law is not just a 'paper' law! (I have read of several cases where the 'BF' has had to pay up in the Thai court for 'screwing' the man's wife).

The fact that she has not lived with him for a period of time may have some bearing on this. But if I were you, I would check this out very carefully. His claim for monetary compensation may well be because he knows Thai family law better than you!!

(I know these facts because I was advised by my lawyer to sue the prat who screwed my 'ex' when she was still my wife. Regretfully, the man was considerably poorer than me - which is saying something! - and not worth the effort...)

Simon

So next time anybody goes with a BG, ask her if she's married and if she says yes then walk away.

Brigante7.

[zorro1]

pay him 10bht per bonk. Then give him 50bht every day for a year , tell him he has to pick it up himself daily. This will drive him insane

[sbk]

A post advocating illegal behavior, and responses to that post, have been deleted.

[Violet Fonce]

Hmm….let see

She got preggy before married, and got involved with you while still legally married.

Seems she’s jumping now, because after 14 months with you, she can see you‘re a bigger fish.

Before she didn’t have this option, that’s why she haven’t got around of divorcing him for good.

So….you can’t be sure, she won’t do the same thing to you.

Knowingly being in a relationship with a married woman is a dangerous and stupid thing to do, Thailand or not.

If I were you I would stay away from her or let her sort out her own problem about the divorce, before someone hitting your head with something, or empty your atm box.

Basically, it’s her problem to begin with, so let her take care of it,…don’t get involved.

[Somchai2500]

I would be very grateful if I could get some useful comments/tips. I am not interested in any comments along the lines of "Thai lady no good"...

When she has the divorce..you can be BF. Until then I would hesitate to be with her, if the husband and his friends visit.

Good Luck for the future.

[slapout]

Lets review:Should you pay husband to give gf divorce, husband has already requested monetary returns from you, who is taking care of the kid? who is paying for the upkeep of the child? What ensures divorce will be finalized after payment made? What kind of background does the husband have? (working? sounds like pimping may be in his future, educated, self sufficient,etc) Why in hel_l are you even in contact with him or him with you? I think I would find a new gf/roommate until this one gets a divorce without any input (literally) from you.

[dondraper]

you dont have to work in a bar to come from the same background/live outlook as a bar girl.

[ThaiBasil]

Be careful! If your GF is still legally married to this man AND you have had sex with her, then according to Thai Family law, her husband can claim monetary compensation from you. That is the written law (check with Issan Lawyers who provide a very good English translation), and this law is not just a 'paper' law! (I have read of several cases where the 'BF' has had to pay up in the Thai court for 'screwing' the man's wife).

The fact that she has not lived with him for a period of time may have some bearing on this. But if I were you, I would check this out very carefully. His claim for monetary compensation may well be because he knows Thai family law better than you!!

(I know these facts because I was advised by my lawyer to sue the prat who screwed my 'ex' when she was still my wife. Regretfully, the man was considerably poorer than me - which is saying something! - and not worth the effort...)

Simon

I am just curious about this: how does one know he is actually sleeping with her, where is the evidence in case it does go to court? He can deny ever having slept with her and just tell everyone they have been just friends up till now.

[sunholidaysun1]

Sounds like an Ex-Bar Girl scenario . Beware of the truth if it ever comes out .

[simon43]

Tiptop - and my pet pig flies very well also :)

I checked the Thai Civil Code re divorce etc.

Quote:

'If the Court grants the divorce decree on the ground that the wife has committed adultery, the husband is entitled to claim damages from any person who has wrongfully taken liberties with the wife'

In my own case, that fact that my wife was several months pregnant was reasonable proof of adultery, expecially as the said baby is the spitting image of the guy who was sleeping with her. But in your case, I would suggest that by maintaining a close relationship with this woman, you are leaving yourself open to a legal claim against you by her husband.

But what do I know? - I'm not a lawyer

Simon

[djayz]

Lets review:Should you pay husband to give gf divorce, husband has already requested monetary returns from you, who is taking care of the kid? who is paying for the upkeep of the child? What ensures divorce will be finalized after payment made? What kind of background does the husband have? (working? sounds like pimping may be in his future, educated, self sufficient,etc) Why in hel_l are you even in contact with him or him with you? I think I would find a new gf/roommate until this one gets a divorce without any input (literally) from you.

She is taking care of the child - alone. She works as a human resource officer in a small-medium sized company up in Korat. As far as I know, her husband isn't help her to burden the financial side of rasing the child.

Her husband is more of a dosser - usually just jobbing on various building sites from what I have been told.

Thanks to all for the tips.