Fun with words

[Sick Boy]

I'm constantly spotting little gems of dodgy diction and so I'd thought I'd share some of them with you.

It never ceases to amaze me why the perp responsible for these never thought to ask, "Excuse me farang, does this look Ok to you?"

This first one must have been run off in the thousands and at considerable cost. This was on the cover of a well known medical supplies diary. Beautifully bound, A4 sized, gilt edged, executive stuff any CEO would be proud to own.

Obviously a great deal of thought had gone in to the impressive graphics adorning the cover and underneath in big, bold font were the words:

"With 3M dental products any amazing beautiful can be happened to your patients"

Priceless!

I always remember reading from a menu in....Chiang Mai, I think it was, the appetising words:

"Omelette with stuff"

Oh well there's a couple for now. I bang some more up later, if you want.

Later.

SB

[taxexile]

..

[Begs]

Nice one Sick Boy.

[LegalAlien]

As seen at a local restaurant near where I live...

"Special Fried Rice with Minge Meat"

Also seen a sign advertising that weekends special...

"Spit on a Pig"

Sometimes I think its done on purpose to make us stop and look.

[Sick Boy]

Cheers Begs

Classic!, Legal Alien. Keep em' coming.

[Begs]

Donkey ride in Thailand:  

Would you like to ride your own ass?

A Bangkok Temple:

It is forbidden to enter a woman even a forgiener if dressed like a man

[Sick Boy]

Love it. Begs.

A popular hotel in Pratunam ran an ad in the Bangkok Post offering:

500 Baht per night + free breakfast with 2 Americans

This promotion has now, sadly, been withdrawn.

[Mackerel]

Leaflet for an all night party Koh Samet...

'From Dusk 'till Down'

Not a mistake, but funny anyway - Bar in Jomtien...

'Drunks and Dare-a-licks'

[taxexile]

from the information folder in rooms at the oustat international hotel tajimi japan

1.about the window in the guest room

 

 it isnt possible that it is possible to open a window in

 the guest room

2.about the laundering

  the wash becomes a finish the evening tomorrow at the

  front desk until 7 o'clock at night of the day.

  (it becomes the evening tomorrow in the morning even if it

    has)

[Sick Boy]

I bought a boat load of dvd's in China last Christmas.

James Bond, Die Another Day being one of them.

This is explains a bit about the film for us on the back cover exactly as it's written.

AND BELOVEDFILM JUST GOT EVEN BETTER!WITH ITSINCOMP ARABLE BLEND OF MAGIC ANDAWARD-WINNING MUSICBEAU TY AND THE BEASTWON THE PRESTIGIOUS GOLDEN GLOBEF OR BEST PICTURE*AND IS THE ONLY ANIMATED FILM EVERN OMINATED FOR A BEST PICTUREACADEMY AWARD@*.NOW MAGNIFICENTLYRESTORED AND REMASTERED,BEAUTY ANDT HE BEAST SPECIAL EDITION FEATURES ANALL-NEW SONG,"H UMAN AGAIN,"SEAMLESSLYINTEGRATED INTO THE FILM.AND AND IN THIS GROUNDBREAKING 2-DISK PLATINUM EDITION DVD ,YOU'LL ENTER THE BEAST'S CASTLE ANDESPLOTRE ITS MANY SECRETS--WITH THREE VERSIONSOF THE FILM, NEVER-BEFOR E-SEEN MOVIE SECRETS,EXCITING GAMES FEATURES ALLNEW ANIMATIONAND MORE!ISNEY MAGIC REIGNS SUPREME ON LA TINUM EDITION DVD--A MUST

MARIO KASSAR and ANDREW VAJNA present A TED KOTCHEFF film FIRST BLOOD SYLVESTER STALLONE

RICHARD CRENNA In "FIRST BLOOD" Starring BRIAN DENNEHY

The best thing is the disk was Chinese karaoke!

Unreal.

[Kan Win]

Hi Sick Boy,

Lucky if you are in C.M. Any chance of you taking that gas mask off !

Me, only Mon to Wed in BKK, you need one here.

And then to Kan by the river Kwae and not Kwai (as “Kwai” means Buffalo in Thai).

What about that mis-spelt one by the FILM "The Bridge over the.............

       

[tutsiwarrior]

If you're from Edinburgh like your namesake I'd say 'gie bile yer heid'...

Aye...we may come from other "english speaking" countries but nowt among us can understand your patois or the Glaswegian...

Don't get me wrong...I liked the Saraheid before that wop did it up...still not a bad bar...except for no more quarter gills...

Get it right mate...Scotland linguistically is a foreign land...

No desrespect...my son was born at the maternity hospital on Rotten Row in glasgie...and scots, except when they are OTT drunk are my favorite people...

[Sick Boy]

If you're from Edinburgh like your namesake I'd say 'gie bile yer heid'...

Aghh! I've been rumbled!

Ah no ken aloat aboot Edinburgh, likesay. Ah ken some radge Weedgie gadges though.

Many a fine Scotsman out there. I, however, am not one of them. I'm as English as The Dog's <deleted> mate.

Yer man Irvine Welsh has had a profound effect on this radge.

Read "Glue" and then "Porno" if you haven't already. Obviously one must have read "Trainspotting" first.

Later, Tutsiwarrior. Nice one.

[Sick Boy]

Just pulled these off the net.

In a Tokyo Hotel:

Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.. if you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Japanese hotel:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In a Bangkok dry cleaners:

Drop your trousers here for best results.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Tokyo bar:

Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Tokyo shop:

Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:

Cooles and Heates: if you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, tootle him with vigor.

Sign in a shop in Merida, Mexico:

Broken English spoken fluently.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In a Budapest zoo:

Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In an office of a Roman doctor:

Specialist in women and other diseases.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:

We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a Rome laundry:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

:laugh:

[Gfunk]

At the dolphin round about in pattaya the sign indicates drivers to: LEFT INSIDE CIRCLE FIRST

not as funny as some of yours but it always makes me smile

bearing in mind we drive on the left if every one took notice every one would always be giving way

[Gfunk]

just had a kfc deliverd and the boy told me i had to pay (better to say this out loud) one hundred and five t bad baht

for a bouns point what did i order to recieve a bill of 158b?

[tutsiwarrior]

Only your digestion and time will tell...

[Thetyim]

Restaurant in Nakhon Sawan has a sign proudly advertising

the it has  "Western and Crunchy Music"