Do You Plan To Charge Sin Sot For Your Luk-krueng Daughter?

[Sakeopete]

I would definitely ask for a sin sot, I think the tradition is good as it helps establish the seriousness of the bride groom's commitment and his ability to earn enough of a living to support my daughter. OFC the sin sot would be displayed and then returned as it was at my wedding (but they will not know that). Then again children have a mind of their own so who knows, not like I ever did everything my folks told me to do.

[473geo]

I will certainly not dream of forcing any kind of decision on the proceedings that would rain on her parade......get it???

Of course you won't '473geo' because 'you'll go along with anything your wife says', your quote. A sad day for you !

Don't know about you.......but my wife gets it right when it comes to our children......I think I said that already.....

Here's a thought for all you no sin sodders.......

Suppose the family of the intended husband insist on proving their worth by giving a considerable amout of sinsod, and afterwards they say it goes to the children to give them a start in life.........a lovely thought.......so I say great idea...whatever you give I will match it....then they get double the start in life.........

Now boys pick a hole in that one!!!!

[sinbin]

I would definitely ask for a sin sot, I think the tradition is good as it helps establish the seriousness of the bride groom's commitment and his ability to earn enough of a living to support my daughter.

If it's that good why it now illegal in India, albeit in reverse, the worlds biggest democracy ?

[sinbin]

but my wife gets it right when it comes to our children

"Right" in your eyes, but who's to say she's "right" over all, you ? Stop being narrow minded and look outside of your idilic world. I'm sorry but I can't seem to find a better way to put it.

[thaimite]

I have 2 stepdaughters (100% Thai) One is a college graduate and the other is not so clever, but is still a great girl. In the past month both have had offers of marriage with Sin Sod from potential Thai suitors THAT THEY HAVE CHOSEN

If they decide to marry the Sin Sod will be negotiated as is standard in Thai families, but I intend to use the money to help them get a better start in life.

In reply to others I have supported these girls for more than 10 years and paid for their schooling and college which they would never have had the chance to do without me, and like any good father my reward is seeing them do well.

[meandwi]

Our daughter will be taught of this custom and its true meaning and beautiful part in a Thai wedding. In hopes she will tell the story to the lucky man who wishes to marry her. Proving to me, my wife, and herself that he is worthy for her hand, and financially able to provide a good life for her.

I was told by my wife of her custom of sinsod in a loving way. Out of the utmost respect for her father and mother, and devotion to my wife, I accepted it, and lovingly gave, without expecting it to be returned.

It was,

meandwi

[473geo]

but my wife gets it right when it comes to our children

"Right" in your eyes, but who's to say she's "right" over all, you ? Stop being narrow minded and look outside of your idilic world. I'm sorry but I can't seem to find a better way to put it.

My ablities to judge based on my vast wealth of experience along the avenues,alleyways, and cul de sacs of life.......tell me she is doing a grand job...........

This experience also tells me when people on forums attempt to personalise topics and make feeble attempts to criticise the other posters on an individual basis......it is usually because they have run out of answers within the actual topic but wish to keep posting.......because their initial comments are in danger of looking a little 'narrow minded'......

[Archimedes]

Would ask for it, amount depending on the grooms situation, and would then of course give it back to the newlyweds after the ceremony.

[dumball]

To me , giving money to obtain a wife proves nothing of the grooms intent nor his future ability to support her , what is , may or may not be tomorrow . The months or years of courtship are more able to give a picture of both of these aspects of marriage and all parties can still get it wrong . What sin-sot has shown in many cases here on TV and other writings is , it is a good excuse(tradition) touted by many brides parents to obtain funds they would never likely see in their life time otherwise , especialy where a gullible foreigner is concerned .

[RogerSterling1]

Sounds like many here are not too fond of Thai Culture.

[Huey]

I think Moonrakers said it best "My Daughter is not for Sale.." period.

I'm better than that, I'm not pimping out my daughter to he highest bidder or holding her for ransom from the man she will love. It's disgusting.

[PoorSucker]

5-10 million for a regular girl

50-100 Mbaht for a soap opera star.

500+ for miss Thailand.

[RogerSterling1]

Female luk kruengs are very attractive (the males tend to be quite goofy looking) so there is definitely the possibility that she will be a famous actress or model and have the opportunity to date a Thai male of considerable means. You often see movie star weddings on thai tv and there is a sin sot.

[dumball]

I think Moonrakers said it best "My Daughter is not for Sale.." period.

I'm better than that, I'm not pimping out my daughter to he highest bidder or holding her for ransom from the man she will love. It's disgusting.

I appreciate a man who stands up for his moral obligations to his daughter , people should NOT be for sale under ANY guise no matter what local customs do or do not dictate .

[RogerSterling1]

I appreciate a man who stands up for his moral obligations to his daughter , people should NOT be for sale under ANY guise no matter what local customs do or do not dictate .

You are insulting the millions of Thais and tens of thousands of farang who paid sin sot.

[MB1]

I appreciate a man who stands up for his moral obligations to his daughter , people should NOT be for sale under ANY guise no matter what local customs do or do not dictate .

You are insulting the millions of Thais and tens of thousands of farang who paid sin sot.

I don't see how he's insulting anyone, I'd say he's giving an opinion, and to make a point, a farang married to a Thai who have children should be able to do as they see fit for their children, and if that means going against custom, then so be it. Freedom of choice.

edit to post below...

I normally give the benifit of doubt or reserve judgement until I see clearer, yes I went to specsavers, some people early on is this thread mentioned TROLL and now I'm beginning to see even clearer.

HTH.

Edited October 10, 2009 by MB1

[RogerSterling1]

I appreciate a man who stands up for his moral obligations to his daughter , people should NOT be for sale under ANY guise no matter what local customs do or do not dictate .

You are insulting the millions of Thais and tens of thousands of farang who paid sin sot.

I don't see how he's insulting anyone, I'd say he's giving an opinion, and to make a point, a farang married to a Thai who have children should be able to do as they see fit for their children, and if that means going against custom, then so be it. Freedom of choice.

He seems to be clearly implying that sin sot is a guise and immoral, no?

Edited October 10, 2009 by RogerSterling1

[Huey]

I appreciate a man who stands up for his moral obligations to his daughter , people should NOT be for sale under ANY guise no matter what local customs do or do not dictate .

You are insulting the millions of Thais and tens of thousands of farang who paid sin sot.

I don't see how he's insulting anyone, I'd say he's giving an opinion, and to make a point, a farang married to a Thai who have children should be able to do as they see fit for their children, and if that means going against custom, then so be it. Freedom of choice.

He seems to be clearly implying that sin sot is a guise and immoral, no?

If he isn't then I sure as hel_l am. It's dead wrong in every way no matter how you cut it.

How do you justify taking food off of your children's plate when they are starting off on their adult lives together??? If anything you should want to GIVE Them something to help out! Especially in a culture like this were the children usually end up taking care of the parents when they get old anyway.

What your supposed to do that AND pay the ransom too???

That being said I DO NOT fault any man just because pays it. I know what it's like to Love the hel_l out of your woman and want to see her happy. I know what it's like to really like EVERYTHING else about the her family execpt the revolting sinsot barbarisim. And finaly I know what it's like to make that sacrifice and pay up. Not because your wife demands that you do, mine would have married me anyway, but because you know, for right or for wrong, she would have a better relationship with her folks if you did. So you do it because you Love her and you want to make her feel like she makes you feel.

I paid it, and while I have a good relationship with the Father (who speeks English very well) I think it's good that the mother dosn't speak English because I would have told her how F'ed up it was for her to take this money. Expecialy considering her own husband was poor when she met him and her greedy ass chineese mother made him pay CRAZY money at that time and when he couldn't come up with it all at once, she made them suffer for years eating rice with fish sause while he paid her mother off in INSTALMENTS like a damm mortgage!

Did she forget how she suffered? Dose she think thats cool to take that money? The Father was against it, he gave me half of it back, a fair chunk of Gold and he did ALLOT for us after we are married, I'm greatful for to have him in our lives. However the grandmother and the rest of the family would have never let him hear the end of it had I not come up with the bread.

It's a sad a dirty spec on a otherwise beautiful and wonderous culture.

(I appologize in advance for the grammar I still get hot thinking about it and it's been nearly 2 years)

[dumball]

Reading my post #39 , should tell you I was giving my OWN personal opinion of what I consider to be the downside of sin-sot , having married off(sorry if that disturbes your fragile ego) 3 daughters to the men of their CHOICE after reasonable lengths of COURTSHIP , I feel I have as much insite into the approach of marriage as most people on this thread . That being said , I do not think most of us had any specific training as far as being a good parent goes , and by the time the grandchildren come along we realise we could actualy have done a better job , you see hindsight is perfect vision , and 'Looking in' far easier than being upfront in the turmoils of life and rearing children . Out of four children , we had four different personalities , thus four differing approaches and methology needed to be both learned and put into effect . I said to my wife after we had had our first born christened into our church "Why did we do that , it is unfair to the child to determine which type of religion they should be commited to " hence the other three had their own personal choice . Many marriages in S.E. Asia were determined by both sets of parents reaching an agreement and an acceptable dowry assessed , those days to me are long gone , it is now against international law to barter for/sell other humans and in many cases that is what sin-sot has become , in its own distorted way . This is my opinion , I have not been co-ersed to give it in any way shape or form , should you not agree , you have every right and priviledge to write your own impressions of how you feel , we are all incognito on this forum and anything we say will have no bearing on what any person wishes to do in THEIR LIFE .

[Huey]

Reading my post #39 , should tell you I was giving my OWN personal opinion of what I consider to be the downside of sin-sot , having married off(sorry if that disturbes your fragile ego) 3 daughters to the men of their CHOICE after reasonable lengths of COURTSHIP , I feel I have as much insite into the approach of marriage as most people on this thread . That being said , I do not think most of us had any specific training as far as being a good parent goes , and by the time the grandchildren come along we realise we could actualy have done a better job , you see hindsight is perfect vision , and 'Looking in' far easier than being upfront in the turmoils of life and rearing children . Out of four children , we had four different personalities , thus four differing approaches and methology needed to be both learned and put into effect . I said to my wife after we had had our first born christened into our church "Why did we do that , it is unfair to the child to determine which type of religion they should be commited to " hence the other three had their own personal choice . Many marriages in S.E. Asia were determined by both sets of parents reaching an agreement and an acceptable dowry assessed , those days to me are long gone , it is now against international law to barter for/sell other humans and in many cases that is what sin-sot has become , in its own distorted way . This is my opinion , I have not been co-ersed to give it in any way shape or form , should you not agree , you have every right and priviledge to write your own impressions of how you feel , we are all incognito on this forum and anything we say will have no bearing on what any person wishes to do in THEIR LIFE .

You know, you and I may have went at it in another forum, but on this, I am with you 100%. And I applaud your acumen in the matter.

[perousing]

do you plan to return the sin sot to the children or keep it to recuperate losses?

why would you ask such a stupid question , are you of normal intelligence or not !!!!! d-c-k h-e-a-d

[tigerboy]

With all of the talk, knowledge of, and tradition related to sin sod, you'd think that the government would have figured out a way to tax it, ay? Ow! Wait, might kill that market segment (rich foreign husbands) of the Thai economy, right?

[RogerSterling1]

With all of the talk, knowledge of, and tradition related to sin sod, you'd think that the government would have figured out a way to tax it, ay? Ow! Wait, might kill that market segment (rich foreign husbands) of the Thai economy, right?

This is a THAI tradition.

[moe666]

Much adu about nothing.

[frenchFARANGbkk]

After accepting Thai culture for so long it's not time to give up when daughter's SINSOT time comes !

Of course any guy will pay a dowry and I won't return it, but of course also a house or condo in the name of LUUKSAO will be bought with this money, her security for when this guy is going to leave her or when she is going to leave him :-)

[a2396]

do you plan to return the sin sot to the children or keep it to recuperate losses?

Sure thing, i love ripping off farangs. Ill find a nice old geezer for her with loads of money and after they are married tell the guy to build her a house. Of course my daughter will know she just have to please the guy and milk him for cash.. the moment she has a enough.. a quick divorce and finding a new idiot. Don't you love Thailand.

Very good and don't forget the car and monthly stipend for you as well. Maybe later he (the loving hsuband) can build you a new house also. Of course, she can still keep her Thai BF. If she is lucky, she will get a Farang who can only spend partial time in Thailand. Then plenty of time for extra-curriculars.

[Neeranam]

I'm told everyday and everywhere we go how beautiful my daughters are. I'm going to have problems in a few years when any undesirables start sniffing around. Sin sot is a wonderful custom - if I don't like the guy, I name a ridiculously large sin sot amount. If I do like him, it can be smaller, or be returned.

Why are there so many opposed to sin sot - because they are usually old, fat foreigners that are forced to pay large amounts of sin sot for the same reasons as above.

Sell my daughters to the highest bidder - bloody right.

[a2396]

I'm told everyday and everywhere we go how beautiful my daughters are. I'm going to have problems in a few years when any undesirables start sniffing around. Sin sot is a wonderful custom - if I don't like the guy, I name a ridiculously large sin sot amount. If I do like him, it can be smaller, or be returned.

Why are there so many opposed to sin sot - because they are usually old, fat foreigners that are forced to pay large amounts of sin sot for the same reasons as above.

Sell my daughters to the highest bidder - bloody right.

Interesting how the foreigners here become more Thai than the Thai.

[RogerSterling1]

Why are there so many opposed to sin sot - because they are usually old, fat foreigners that are forced to pay large amounts of sin sot for the same reasons as above.

Wow, I don't think the members of this forum will appreciate this post.

[Heng]

Actually that's about the same as how the locals do it. Don't like the guy, name a silly amount or something that he can't do. You don't even have to make it like a threat to keep the sin sod. If you know he's not a landed individual, just say something like 'we're going to put down 50 chanotes in her name, you just put down the other 49 in your name so we have a nice '99' figure. If he's just a kid with 5 properties, he'll skulk away. It doesn't really have to ever get to that point, in most cases (just like anywhere else), the guy gets the hint long before he has to be embarrassed. Glad my oldest is a son.