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Divorce

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A farmer who wants a divorce goes 2c a lawyer, the farmer says "Oi wants to get wan of them dayvorces"

Lawyer..."Do you hav grounds?

Farmer... "Yes, i gots me 40 acres"

Lawyer "No, you dont understand, do u have a suit?"

Farmer..."Yes, oi wears it to church on Sundays"

Lawyer..."No, i mean do u have a grudge?

Farmer..."...Yes, that's where i park the tractor"

Lawyer..."Does ur wife beat you up?"

Farmer..."No, we both get up at 5.30"

Lawyer gets annoyed & tries one last question..."Is ur wife a nagger?...

"No, she's white, but the baby's a nagger, that's why i wants a f@*kin dayvorce!!

A binman comes to a house, cannot find the bin outside, and knocks on the door. After several knocks, a little Chinese guy opens.

Binman: Where's your bin?

Chinese man: I been in the toilet.

Binman: I mean, where's your dust bin?

Chinese man: I just been in the toilet.

Binman: You don't understand, where's your wheely bin?

Chinese man (looks annoyed): Ok, listen, I really been wanking in the toilet. You happy now?

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