Marriage Questions With Thai Girl

[cdnvic]

Careful how you talk about members' wives here. If you want to make insinuations about someone you don't know, keep it to yourself. (1 post deleted)

[britmaveric]

Run and do so immediately......

[thaiozy]

This doesn`t sound right

As previuosly mentioned your been a member for 6 yrs now & should know all about a variety of things

As for the sex thing that is totally untrue for a foriegner, because my wife was waiting (probably thought i may look else where)

She did tell me it is thai tradition as she mentioned one of her friends (2 thais)

[a2396]

This doesn`t sound right

As previuosly mentioned your been a member for 6 yrs now & should know all about a variety of things

As for the sex thing that is totally untrue for a foriegner, because my wife was waiting (probably thought i may look else where)

She did tell me it is thai tradition as she mentioned one of her friends (2 thais)

Sorry, but I don't exactly understand your last two sentences. What do you mean?

[navara]

Hi,

Normally I never reply, I'm a reader, but on this one I would like to react.

Indeed there are still a lot " old fashioned girls " out there, however nowadays there become rare. So I asked my wife for some advise for your " problem " and she said as follows;

- 100.000 bath is not much, it depents on the status of the family, but she guess that your new wife is from a poor family, so the 100.000 is okay when the woman has no education. It is common you give gold aswel. Note that a good family gives the money and gold back to you after the marriage. If the girl has studied, you should pay much more, think of 500.000 until 600.000. IF the girl is rich you should think of 1.000.000 until 5.000.000.

- the monthly support should not been ask, but I suppose she is from a poor family. But I guess they need the income, so it is normal that you pay for her family too. This you do together with your new wife. But I guess she does not have much income, so you give your new wife at least 10.000 a month, so she has money to save and take care of you and she will decide how much she will give to her parents.

Believe me, every situation is different. If you wanna have better advise, my wife need more details.

My situation is more crazy I guess. I married a older well studied rich woman, and mama ( she passed away already ) did not wanna have any money. She said " first I wanna have a million, but she is old already, so she is for free ". But if I see how things are running here, what we do and what I pay, it's more then a million each year. It's about sharing your life with them, taking care for eachother. My uncle in CM said always to me " the one with the biggest wallet pays " and even when there is a problem with an aunt or uncle, you pay too.

GOOD LUCK and be HAPPY

John

[griser]

Hi,

Normally I never reply, I'm a reader, but on this one I would like to react.

Indeed there are still a lot " old fashioned girls " out there, however nowadays there become rare. So I asked my wife for some advise for your " problem " and she said as follows;

- 100.000 bath is not much, it depents on the status of the family, but she guess that your new wife is from a poor family, so the 100.000 is okay when the woman has no education. It is common you give gold aswel. Note that a good family gives the money and gold back to you after the marriage. If the girl has studied, you should pay much more, think of 500.000 until 600.000. IF the girl is rich you should think of 1.000.000 until 5.000.000.

- the monthly support should not been ask, but I suppose she is from a poor family. But I guess they need the income, so it is normal that you pay for her family too. This you do together with your new wife. But I guess she does not have much income, so you give your new wife at least 10.000 a month, so she has money to save and take care of you and she will decide how much she will give to her parents.

Believe me, every situation is different. If you wanna have better advise, my wife need more details.

My situation is more crazy I guess. I married a older well studied rich woman, and mama ( she passed away already ) did not wanna have any money. She said " first I wanna have a million, but she is old already, so she is for free ". But if I see how things are running here, what we do and what I pay, it's more then a million each year. It's about sharing your life with them, taking care for eachother. My uncle in CM said always to me " the one with the biggest wallet pays " and even when there is a problem with an aunt or uncle, you pay too.

GOOD LUCK and be HAPPY

John

I agree that most good families will give you the Sinsod back. Most modern thai families don't even worry about a sinsod.

You need to look at the situation with her family. If she is one of a few family members providing support for Aged Poor parents and you expect her to be a housewife with no income, then you might want to contribute something to her parents well being.

If however the parent are still of working age and she has several siblings available to send support then I would be asking why they need a monthly stipend. Also if she has a job , her income should support her parents.

Many times I've heard of foreign spouses supporting 1 or more teenage brothers who won't work and lay around drinking whiskey all day.

Avoid that situation at all costs!

Greg

[jdinasia]

On 19.08.08. The OP posted this.

My wife just got a phone call from her mother in Bangkok. There are more and more rumours about floodings in Bangkok.

I would say that this pretty much tells us all what we needed to know about the original post.

[thaiozy]

This doesn`t sound right

As previuosly mentioned your been a member for 6 yrs now & should know all about a variety of things

As for the sex thing that is totally untrue for a foriegner, because my wife was waiting (probably thought i may look else where)

She did tell me it is thai tradition as she mentioned one of her friends (2 thais)

Sorry, but I don't exactly understand your last two sentences. What do you mean?

I mean & as mentioned if 2 thais are together & plan to marry they will not have sex as it is thai tradition ( wifes girlfriend with man for many years & no sex untill marriage)

BUT! Since i was a foriegner she said that was different THANK GOD (maybe there worried the farang might walk )

[gvallee2]

Hi,

Normally I never reply, I'm a reader, but on this one I would like to react.

Indeed there are still a lot " old fashioned girls " out there, however nowadays there become rare. So I asked my wife for some advise for your " problem " and she said as follows;

- 100.000 bath is not much, it depents on the status of the family, but she guess that your new wife is from a poor family, so the 100.000 is okay when the woman has no education. It is common you give gold aswel. Note that a good family gives the money and gold back to you after the marriage. If the girl has studied, you should pay much more, think of 500.000 until 600.000. IF the girl is rich you should think of 1.000.000 until 5.000.000.

- the monthly support should not been ask, but I suppose she is from a poor family. But I guess they need the income, so it is normal that you pay for her family too. This you do together with your new wife. But I guess she does not have much income, so you give your new wife at least 10.000 a month, so she has money to save and take care of you and she will decide how much she will give to her parents.

Believe me, every situation is different. If you wanna have better advise, my wife need more details.

My situation is more crazy I guess. I married a older well studied rich woman, and mama ( she passed away already ) did not wanna have any money. She said " first I wanna have a million, but she is old already, so she is for free ". But if I see how things are running here, what we do and what I pay, it's more then a million each year. It's about sharing your life with them, taking care for eachother. My uncle in CM said always to me " the one with the biggest wallet pays " and even when there is a problem with an aunt or uncle, you pay too.

GOOD LUCK and be HAPPY

John

For that price you could of simply bought the best looking escort in your country

[Kf6vci]

Well, I'm a believer of

try before you buy as this is part of finding out whether you really truly are a match. but that is your private business, of course.

Besides sin sod is also tang mun (attrocious spelling - some gold gift). At my wedding, this was handed over and returned afterwards.

Sin sod is often flowing back in some form, too. Just talk about it with an open mind and read some lengthy sin sod exchanges, including the pinned one here.

What concerns me is the open ended, for as long as they live request to give them money. If these are decent but old and poor folks, you might want to do just that. But my feeling is this should be up to you - or else your wife's family ties are much stronger than hers to you.

You better clear this all up b e f o r e you tie the knot!

Chris

[hawthorne]

sounds like too many strings attached to this marriage. If your head hurts now I think the headache will be much worse after marriage.

I agree with the plumber...you don't want want any bad surprises on your wedding night.

[F1fanatic]

"Came in to thailand on Jan 6th 2009." Quote from earlier post.

Perhaps its not a troll - he just genuinely has no idea.

I'm assuming he's stayed in Isaan and everyone's telling him some story the rest of us wouldn't recognise.

[IanForbes]

As a pundit once mentioned... "I'm not going to get married again. I'm just going to buy a house for some woman who doesn't like me."

[poldebol]

I hope you realise there is a very strange aspect to your story. If you know a lady in Thailand for 6 years and you never had sex, that probably would be a world record. If you did not live with this gf all the time, there might be a scam.

But I will give you an answer in good faith.

There is no historical proof that sin sot belongs to Thai culture, at least not in all Thailand. You will find many sites about Thai culture, but they are more about the fantasy of Thai people than about historical reality. Besides there is no legal obligation to pay for your wife. The body of your gf does not belong to her parents, not even in so called Thai culture. The preoccupation of Thais with this uncertain item of their culture is ridiculous if you link it with the fact that tens of thousands of Thai men leave their wives (usually with a few kids) after a few years , pay a few months and then disappear. Your gf knows that. Thai people think that farangs are better payers.

I met a Thai lady 4 years ago. From the onset, I put as conditions: no marriage, no kids. We lived at a university campus for three years and had a good time there. After she finished her studies we came to live in the village of her parents. I bought a piece of land for her (200.000 THB). An enormous pressure started building up for us to marry. I will make it simple: after nearly 2 years, I agreed to a Thai style wedding, beginning of next month. That means, no papers are signed. For the Thai and Belgian law there are no consequences. I will pay for the food and some other expenses (about 60.000 THB). The sponsor money of the wedding (presents from guests) will go to me. During a ceremony at the home of her parents, I will give the mother of my wife 100.000 THB. She will return the money the same day.

Do not commit yourself to regular payments. A pity you do not specify the amount discussed and the status of the parents of your gf. A high demand (more than 3000 THB, would in my eyes be proof of a scam) Walk out if they go on with this demand. Tell your gf you are sure she will find a better and richer husband, which she deserves. You will see that they will forget their demand very quickly. I do not give money to my in-laws, except a small present now and then. I just gave them a water heater for their bathroom. They will show it off to the family who comes to visit at our wedding.

NEVER, NEVER sign any paper in Thai at the amphoe or anywhere else, even if it has a translation in english. The thai text counts. You might lose what you own. The text they use is something like this: no goods are registered inside the marriage. You will think: nothing is registered, so no problem. It actually means: nothing is registered as belonging to one of the parties, so all goods belong to both. Since she probably does not own a thing, she just acquired access to your posessions and you can not own land in Thailand. With this paper (if you signed it) she can legalise the marriage in Belgium with or without your help. It has happened to many people. Do not let it happen to you.

You might be afraid you will lose her. Be sure, if she lost already 6 years with you, she will be more afraid than you are, but she will not show it. A Thai lady of e.g. 25 has no more value on the Thai wedding market. A Thai men will not pay for her.

My in-laws have asked once for the sin sot. I simply told them that after we married, they would not have to pay for the food for their daughter anymore, that I would provide for her while she studied and that buying 10 buffaloes would be a better investment for me. They never asked again. I have given them twice a small loan (4.000 and 6.000) to bridge a difficult period on the farm. They have paid back before the due date.

I love my wife very much and we decide a lot together. She has a nice salary, but I decide everything about the money (also about her income). I do not like it, but like many Thais, my wife has never learned how to handle money. If you let your in-laws handle your money, you will lose more than you dream.

There are zillions of Thai ladies who want to marry a decent farang and will not go for your money. If your gf or her parents do not listen to reason now, they will certainly not do so after the marriage.

Last: I see many farang who try to become Thai in their behaviour. Thais think that is a good joke. I am a farang and have no intention to change. I respect the Thai people, I have a lot of fun with many people in the village, but I show them clearly I am different. Most of them have no problem with this at all. When Thai give you the impression or the feeling that you have become a half Thai already (because you speak three words Thai, or eat what they eat), and you feel flattered, it is a polite formula, not to be believed. I know Thailand since more than 25 years, have lived here several periods and now live here since 5 years. Everyday I still wonder about the great differences between Thai and farang.

[friedperry]

Hi Poldeboi,

I am new to this forum.

If you go for a Thai style wedding and there are no papers to be signed, does it mean you do not have any wedding certificates like my country does? Then, will there be any ways to prove that you and your g/f are husband and wife? What are the procedures for Thai wedding (not Amphur). Maybe you like to PM me the details?

I am trying to understand the thai culture and wedding ceremony.

cheers!

Fried Perry

I agreed to a Thai style wedding, beginning of next month. That means, no papers are signed. For the Thai and Belgian law there are no consequences. I will pay for the food and some other expenses (about 60.000 THB). The sponsor money of the wedding (presents from guests) will go to me. During a ceremony at the home of her parents, I will give the mother of my wife 100.000 THB. She will return the money the same day.

NEVER, NEVER sign any paper in Thai at the amphoe or anywhere else, even if it has a translation in english. The thai text counts. You might lose what you own. The text they use is something like this: no goods are registered inside the marriage. You will think: nothing is registered, so no problem. It actually means: nothing is registered as belonging to one of the parties, so all goods belong to both. Since she probably does not own a thing, she just acquired access to your posessions and you can not own land in Thailand. With this paper (if you signed it) she can legalise the marriage in Belgium with or without your help. It has happened to many people.

[Sisaketmike]

Would you buy a car without a test drive? Or would you marry a girl/woman in Belgium without testing her ability? Six years, how do you know that she’s still a virgin? Sorry to say that, but she might be one of the third gender girls. Wish you only the best……lol

P.S. Why are people doing things here in Thailand, what they'd never do back home? " My girl is not....bla,bla, bla...

[Loz]

Would you buy a car without a test drive? Or would you marry a girl/woman in Belgium without testing her ability? Six years, how do you know that she’s still a virgin? Sorry to say that, but she might be one of the third gender girls. Wish you only the best……lol

P.S. Why are people doing things here in Thailand, what they'd never do back home? " My girl is not....bla,bla, bla...

That IS the question that keeps these debates lively.

[BigWheelMan]

As I was reading the first paragraph of the OPs post, I wondered when the money part would come into it.

Thailand used to be famous for it`s beautiful cute smiling little ladies that only had desires to settle down with a nice Farang guy and live happily every after.

These days all that's changed. Now it has become a case of, how much and what can they gain by smiling cutely at some poor love sick old Khun Gullible who is seeking a life long soul mate or perhaps just a bit of female company for a few hours.

Entertainments, social or courtship that involves females is going to cost you dear.

Worth thinking about, you guys that still believe Thailand is the place to find a bargain female companion, as those days have long past. Sad but true.

Edited February 19, 2010 by BigWheelMan

[ianbardon]

six years, she IS having you on mate, no sex, <deleted> bin her now, Isaan custom is to get as much as possible from you, for as little as possible, as regards payment there is no rules, dont forget they can live for 50bt a day in the sticks, I hurd some thing like this once before, no sex before marry, tured out to be LADYBOY, who wanted the money up front ( for the opperation ), they look for greenies like you, BIN IT NOWW

[AGareth2]

very comendable

no sex before marriage

some old values still remain

[Steiner]

This doesn`t sound right

As previuosly mentioned your been a member for 6 yrs now & should know all about a variety of things

As for the sex thing that is totally untrue for a foriegner, because my wife was waiting (probably thought i may look else where)

She did tell me it is thai tradition as she mentioned one of her friends (2 thais)

Sorry, but I don't exactly understand your last two sentences. What do you mean?

I mean & as mentioned if 2 thais are together & plan to marry they will not have sex as it is thai tradition ( wifes girlfriend with man for many years & no sex untill marriage)

BUT! Since i was a foriegner she said that was different THANK GOD (maybe there worried the farang might walk )

Are you serious???

Most Hi So girls give it up before they are 18 and how many of the out in the sticks get pregnant at 14 or 15 and get married???

I thought the OP was nuts (and probably trolling) but there are people here who actually agree with him!!!

Oh Mama there's crazy people here...!

[canuckamuck]

Good troll, you caught quite a few.

[Sisaketmike]

If I was in your shoes, I'd agree to one or the other. One promise, and a little help each month depends on the circumstances of the future. You gotta pay the sin-sot because that's normal, but the monthly stipend is a separate thing. Ask a little more and if they insist then run free.

Your post is really weird. Please what’s a normal girl? No sex before getting married seems to be a good joke to me. Would you mind to tell us how old she is, for further information…..

P.S. What did you do while staying with her, masturb. or looking for other flash?

[Sisaketmike]

This doesn`t sound right

As previuosly mentioned your been a member for 6 yrs now & should know all about a variety of things

As for the sex thing that is totally untrue for a foriegner, because my wife was waiting (probably thought i may look else where)

She did tell me it is thai tradition as she mentioned one of her friends (2 thais)

Sorry, but I don't exactly understand your last two sentences. What do you mean?

I mean & as mentioned if 2 thais are together & plan to marry they will not have sex as it is thai tradition ( wifes girlfriend with man for many years & no sex untill marriage)

BUT! Since i was a foriegner she said that was different THANK GOD (maybe there worried the farang might walk )

Are you serious???

Most Hi So girls give it up before they are 18 and how many of the out in the sticks get pregnant at 14 or 15 and get married???

I thought the OP was nuts (and probably trolling) but there are people here who actually agree with him!!!

Oh Mama there's crazy people here...!

OP must be a virgin too, you're right...there're crazy people out there. Out there to get a virgin with a dick.