Which Of Your Fellow Passengers Would You Like To See On The Wings ?

[roamer]

Like many of us for years now I have endured the long-haul flights to LOS. Over that time some things have improved immeasurably, I am no longer restricted to watching movies on a drop down screen for the whole cabin (aeons since I traveled on Thai ), just one example. However I still find my peaceful relaxation, if not enjoyment on a flight, is usually brought to an abrupt halt by one individual.

This is my pet hate, this is the guy I always try to elbow in the ribs when exiting the aircraft.

It's a darkened cabin, most people are sleeping, a few peacefully watching a movie....and then some muppet decides to open his window blind exposing the cabin to blinding light and stare out, totally oblivious to the stirrings and mutterings around him. What does he expect to see 30,000 ft above an ocean, Atlantis ? If your lucky then a flight attendant is also awake and will ask him to close the blind, cue sheepish grin.The perps are always the same, mid 20's, and look like they are probably managers for the canned goods section at Tesco.

So, who do you find the most annoying fellow passenger ?

Edited August 24, 2010 by roamer

[greasemonkey]

I like looking out the window. I hardly ever sleep on the flight. i dont really sit by windows any more though. Being long in the leg, I find it more comfortable in an aisle seat. There is more room to escape from the clown next to me doing the funky chicken as the beer starts reacting with the sleeping pills. Or the nervous flyer that sweats so much he smells like a dead badger. Oh the joys of modern travel.

[Mossfinn]

I will walk a million miles to see one of your smiles

The football supporter who had spent an hour or so in the bar previous to boarding.

The song gets a little repetetive after an hour or so.

[sbk]

Moving to pub

[bifftastic]

I like looking out the window. I hardly ever sleep on the flight. i dont really sit by windows any more though. Being long in the leg, I find it more comfortable in an aisle seat. There is more room to escape from the clown next to me doing the funky chicken as the beer starts reacting with the sleeping pills. Or the nervous flyer that sweats so much he smells like a dead badger. Oh the joys of modern travel.

I had an aisle seat on my last journey back to the UK (right hand seat of the 3 in the centre row) and had the 'dead badger' next to me!!. Constantly rummaging about in his hand luggage, sweating profusely, fidgeting, plugging and unplugging his headphones, his laptop, his mp3 player. He must have gone to the toilet about 12 times as well! man that flight was a long one!

Best candidate for the ejector seat though was just over a year ago, non-stop Thai airways flight BKK-LHR. About 3 rows behind me was a guy and his g/f and from the moment we sat down to the moment we landed she was moaning and complaining about his behaviour on their 2 week holiday. About 2 hours in she started crying and wailing 'how could you do this to me? I feel like you never loved me! wa wa wa wa!' I thought he must have done something really bad, he was trying to be as quiet as possible and even when she started slapping him (between sobs) he didnt react too much.

When we landed and were waiting for our bags, I asked him what he had done to upset her so much, thinking it must be some kind of infidelity at the very least.

Turns out he had been with her for about 3 months in total, decided to pay for them both to go to Thailand for a couple of weeks, when they were in Chaweng in Samui, walking down Soi Green Mango (on the first night of their holiday), he looked at a girl. That was it, he looked at a girl!

Apparently she didn't shut up about it for the whole two weeks!

When the aforementioned 'dead badger' was in full flow, I tried to remember this couple and smile. It nearly worked.

What can ya do ay? You get who you get on a flight, till I win the lottery that is!

[sbk]

I dislike people who stick their legs out in the aisle and when you trip over them in the dark give you a dirty look like you've just invaded their personal space.

[mca]

The large group of migrant workers returning home who have more carry on luggage than Paris Hilton would put in her private jet if she decided to take a world tour and the complete inability to obey any single safety instruction given by the harassed looking flight attendants.

[hanno]

That's why I fly Business Class, even though I can't really afford it. I am pretty scared of flying and if I had some obnoxious moron next to me, I might end up charged with murder.

[xen]

It would be me ......................... I fart, I snore, I am fat and I have long legs that are perfect for kneeing the seat in front or leaving splayed out in the aisle, I snort and laugh out loud at all the old re-runs of Sienfield and i then expect the person next to me to enjoy the joke too, I bump the back of seat during meal times just as you have the coffee approaching your lips, I cry uncontrollable whilst watching any movie involving sick animals or kids, i have my i-pod volume at such a level that i can let everybody enjoy my taste in music, I spend at least two hours before the flight getting prepared for the flight in the airport bar and then have to visit the toilets every 15 minutes though-out the flight climbing over the two other passengers because i must sit in the window seat, I harass anybody who beats me to the toilet and so in retaliation i piss all over the seat and floor of the toilet, I drone on and on and on about my favourite football team , I recline my seat back without warning ten seconds before the plane reaches cruising altitude, i lift the shades just at sunrise flooding the plane with that wonderful glaring early morning sun,I constantly harrass the stewards for more beer and then berate them when they tell me i have had enough, I run my hand up the inside of their leg when they are bending over serving coffee to the passenger across the aisle , I take pocession of the window seat that i especially booked and immediatly slide the blind down and fall asleep.

In fact , the only thing i do is have kids that run riot for the whole trip but i am working on that .......................Hahahhaahh snortt, snort hahaha i am working on that .......get the joke ............ shit these other passengers don't know how to have fun do they .............

[bonobo]

Flying to Thailand from LAX.  On the Narita-Bangkok leg, my seatmate was a guy who continually bemoaned the country:  "All Thai women are f'ing whores," "all Thai police are f'ing crooks," "I hate the f'ing place," "F'ing Nana should be burnt down," "F'ing Pattaya is worse and needs to be nuked," and so on. He kept elbowing me to get my reaction, obviously wanting me to agree with him.  I did ask him why he was going.  Turns out he leaves his family four times a year to go on a wink-wink "business trip" and spends the entire time in the bars at Nana or Pattaya.

After only 40 minutes, I could take no more, so I put the blanket over my head and pretended I was asleep.  I still had to listen as he starting in with the guy across the aisle, but at least I didn't have to reply.  He did grab me at the luggage carousal, though, and asked if I wanted to get a beer with him at Nana Plaza and see who might be available for the rest of the night.

[katana]

The ones who take over the whole elbow rest for the flight, instead of just half, are annoying lol

[GrahamF]

I hate the ones who grab the seatbacks as they walk up and down the aisle, I don't know how many times I have been woken up by somebody doing this.

[Valdezugar]

Pet hate . . . That guy who flies often and thinks everybody else needs his advice on the flight.

Or the parents with three kids that run around the isles and expect you to smile when one of the kids knocks the glass of red wine from your hand . . . all over your crotch.

[greasemonkey]

It used to be possible to subdue the irritating with subtle sugestions. ie. frighten the living daylights out of them. Things like " I wonder how they make those windows strong enough to withstand the pressure? Can you hear a hissing noise?"

" What would you do if a crack opend up in the fuselage?" ( best said when experiencing horrendous turbulance)

My favorite, just as everyone is settling down, open the window blind for a moment. then " BLOODY hel_l, DID YOU SEE THAT GOOSE HIT THE ENGINE?"....

I wouldnt do it these days, probably get arrested.

Edited August 25, 2010 by greasemonkey

[gudtymchuk]

The A**hole who gets up every fifteen minutes to get something from his backpack/bag in the overhead compartment three rows back from his seat...

[DangerousDavies]

Pet hate . . . That guy who flies often and thinks everybody else needs his advice on the flight.

Or the parents with three kids that run around the isles and expect you to smile when one of the kids knocks the glass of red wine from your hand . . . all over your crotch.

Agreed, but last flight the head steward was down in a flash and told the parents to keep the kid in his seat and made them do it. They weren't happy and the brat screamed for the next two hours. Every plane should carry little parachutes.

[hanno]

I wouldnt do it these days, probably get arrested

They'd probably send a SWAT team these days

[Patsycat]

My sister.

On a flight to Nairobi, she was in the window seat, me in the middle and some poor Finnish guy in the aisle.

She was knocking back the water and the wine in Schipol for about four hours. So when the "if you start to pee, you have to go every 15 minutes" thing started. She was off....

Give him his dues, the guy was ultra polite. Even offered her his seat. But no, she wanted to watch the sunrise...

[mca]

If the person sitting next to you is really pissing you off take out your laptop, boot it up, assume a deranged expression and cry " ALLAHU AKBAR" as you hit the button to bring this previously downloaded file up on the screen.

http://www.thecleverest.com/countdown.swf

[mauGR1]

I dislike people who stick their legs out in the aisle and when you trip over them in the dark give you a dirty look like you've just invaded their personal space.

Guilty, but not dirty looks from me..

On my last flight i was enjoying my movie when a busy hostess hit my knee with the wheel-tray. Painful !

She looked very worried and kindly apologised. I said, my fault, only my fault.

She looked relieved, and offered to give me a bag of ice to ease the pain.

I'm very shy to show my pain, so i just asked for another glass of whisky.

[Travel2003]

The person next to you (or right behind) whom is caughing the entire flight.

I know it can happen to anyone of us, and I always feel sorry for the person as well as cursing my luck for ending up next to him/her.

But it is almost unbearable to listen to someone caughing for hours.

One start flirting with the thought of what one can do with the pillow.

[mca]

One start flirting with the thought of what one can do with the pillow.

Have a crafty mid flight wank when everybody else is asleep?

[sbk]

Just flew in from the US and luckily, had no annoying people on any flight. Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket

That said, I do recall one particularly awful flight where a Taiwanese woman (China airlines- and I chatted with the daughter) let her 7 year old son run up and down the aisles, over and over. Not only annoying more than half the plane but putting her son's life at risk if severe turbulence were hit. And the flight attendants did nothing about it.

[Familyonthemove]

For me - the OP's mid-flight blind opening passenger can only be beaten by the guy who hangs his hairy arms over the back of his seat - sticking them right in your face.

[Travel2003]

One start flirting with the thought of what one can do with the pillow.

Have a crafty mid flight wank when everybody else is asleep?

Good one, but not what I thought about.

[smokie36]

The only thing I hate when flying is when the cabin gets way too hot and I waste no time in letting the crew know about it when it happens.

Oh yeah and fatties sitting next to me....which is why I usually fly biz class. Don't mind kids as they are just havin' fun.

Its all luck of the draw....on one flight to the UK I was sat next to an expat who hadn't been to Blighty for 10 years.....great fun as we emptied gallons of beer down our necks...a real party atmosphere courtesy of Etihad economy class. Brilliant!

[KhunDave]

The A**hole who gets up every fifteen minutes to get something from his backpack/bag in the overhead compartment three rows back from his seat...

...and then slams the hatch closed despite the fact that everyone is sleeping, totally unaware that simply by lifting the latch it can be closed silently.

[Valdezugar]

One start flirting with the thought of what one can do with the pillow.

Have a crafty mid flight wank when everybody else is asleep?

Had a good chuckle at that

[Travel2003]

One start flirting with the thought of what one can do with the pillow.

Have a crafty mid flight wank when everybody else is asleep?

Had a good chuckle at that

Yeah, me too.

Bulls eye's like that always brings out the smile.

[BillR]

I have a thing for bloody mary mix and for whatever reason it gives me the most amazing gas. Nothing like ripping some bombs for everyone to enjoy when nobody knows where they came.