Marrying A Thai Woman

[thaimate]

Many times when i am reading these threads and guys talk about their wives,so many posters come on and make fun ,asking the question "why do so many guys make out that their wives come from a good familly ,or are university graduatees?) They ,i assume mean that we are lying and that we have all married a bar girl(nothing wrong with that).

i can only assume that the sort of guy that makes this comment is the sort that has never been anywhere but walking st ,soi 6 or soi cowboy in BKK. but many of us have been here donkeys years ,run buisnesses etc and actually get to met Thai people who work in the real world and not just in the entertainment industry,so actually do marry women from good famillys or University graduates.any comments.

[HarrydePotter]

Never noticed that those graduated ladies talk like farlang ladies?? I could have stayed at home then ...

[nikkoid66]

Many Farang only know Pattaya thu Walking Street, Beach Road at night, Soi 5-6 and Gogo, and these girls are very sweet speaking...red warning!

Never get emotionally involved with prostitutes. All have a sad story, and man you can have a lot of empathie for them, but they have crossed the line between good and evil and will never come back.

Good luck with your marriage. Thai women are sweet and loving, not like most arrogant Western girls. They are also very crazy at time which make the life more fun.

[petercool]

It depends entirely upon the circles you move in.

The assumption you mention is not so prevalent in Bangkok where many educated Thai ladies have married Western businessmen.

The less opportunity to meet such better educated Thai ladies, the more likelihood of the assumption that a Thai wife was met in a less than prestigious environment.

But many marriages work out well regardless of a wife's origin so generalisms are none too useful.

[thaimate]

Actually my buisness was in BKK and although i had many years of bar hopping i met many nice women,but always thaught,would you marry a hooker that you met at home? no, so whats the difference here.

however after saying that i know guys who have good marriages to bar girls ,but lots more who have bad ones.

Edited August 26, 2010 by thaimate

[Hakuchi]

however after saying that i know guys who have good marriages to bar girls ,but lots more who have bad ones.

Wasn't point in the first entry that guys who marry bar girls are just a myth and its a prejudice,  whereby in reality they do marry women from good family or University graduates?

[Forethat]

Bar girls!?!? You should hear when the worst braggard posters here get going about their Nobel Prize winning multi-degree wifes. Heck, you're talking about bar girls when there are posters here who brag about their gardener being freaking linguistic artists.

As I see it, anything other than a former secretary of state as a wife and you're pretty much considered a bar girl loser. Having said that, I once walzed with a secretary of state, but I never married her since that would have made look like a complete tosser in comparison to some of the posters here...!

[lennya12threh]

Many Farang only know Pattaya thu Walking Street, Beach Road at night, Soi 5-6 and Gogo, and these girls are very sweet speaking...red warning!

Never get emotionally involved with prostitutes. All have a sad story, and man you can have a lot of empathie for them, but they have crossed the line between good and evil and will never come back.

Good luck with your marriage. Thai women are sweet and loving, not like most arrogant Western girls. They are also very crazy at time which make the life more fun.

Very well put.

It gets annoying sometimes that people will look at my wife as being a bar girl. Mostly other Thai women will give her some attitude. Like at the bank today one of the employees was rather rude to her in asking her what the heck she was doing going to Canada with me and we opened a joint account and need a statement. It wasn't the one helping us but just some other one that walked up and was talking in a tone as if to put her down.

Funny thing is she is a graduate, doesn't drink or go to bars, and was the one with the money, even buying me a big bike, car, etc. And she doesn't even really want to go to Canada, but will because I am going.

[MB1]

Many Farang only know Pattaya thu Walking Street, Beach Road at night, Soi 5-6 and Gogo, and these girls are very sweet speaking...red warning!

Never get emotionally involved with prostitutes. All have a sad story, and man you can have a lot of empathie for them, but they have crossed the line between good and evil and will never come back.

Good luck with your marriage. Thai women are sweet and loving, not like most arrogant Western girls. They are also very crazy at time which make the life more fun.

Can you provide a link that proves "ALL" have a sad story, and as for that crap,

"They have crossed the line between good and evil and will never come back"

<deleted> I nearly spit my coffee all over my PC when I read that crap, get a life <deleted>, try talking to some bar girls/prostitutes and ask them why they do it, you might get a suprise when you get the answers...Maybe your a troll or a missionary..

Edited August 26, 2010 by MB1

[welsh1]

Many Farang only know Pattaya thu Walking Street, Beach Road at night, Soi 5-6 and Gogo, and these girls are very sweet speaking...red warning!

Never get emotionally involved with prostitutes. All have a sad story, and man you can have a lot of empathie for them, but they have crossed the line between good and evil and will never come back.

Good luck with your marriage. Thai women are sweet and loving, not like most arrogant Western girls. They are also very crazy at time which make the life more fun.

Can you provide a link that proves "ALL" have a sad story, and as for that crap,

"They have crossed the line between good and evil and will never come back"

<deleted> I nearly spit my coffee all over my PC when I read that crap, get a life <deleted>, try talking to some bar girls/prostitutes and ask them why they do it, you might get a suprise when you get the answers...Maybe your a troll or a missionary..

You can take the girl out of the bar ..but you cant take the bar out of the girl

[Thailaw]

Most farang and Thais assume that a farang's Thai wife is a bar girl because the probabilities are very high that she is, and the probability increases if she is attractive (and speaks good English). I expect that near 80% fall into that category (maybe more). You may not like it, but that is the reality, regardless of the happy couple's claims about how/where they met. We all use probability to evaluate people and their behaviour -- if you are an under 25 male you are assumed to be a reckless driver because most in that age category are (and their car insurance rates reflect it). Let people "assume" what they want (they will anyway), but you know the truth....

[Jimi007]

Oh boy! Again?

Edited August 26, 2010 by Jimi007

[Ulysses G.]

Bar girls!?!? You should hear when the worst braggard posters here get going about their Nobel Prize winning multi-degree wifes. Heck, you're talking about bar girls when there are posters here who brag about their gardener being freaking linguistic artists.

[Ulysses G.]

Why do so many assume she was a bar girl?

Because she probably was (Thailaw beat me to it).

[ilyelol]

easy: we get pissed at the dirtbag we see around..

When we expats see a normal expat with his normal thai wife, who sometimes has better english than the said expat(which mean she was raised partly in english) we soon forget it..

When we see a fat slob with his heroine addicted looking sunburned girlfriend wearing cheap and "dirty sexy" looking clothes.. that we don't forget.. not because of the girl.. but because it makes us feel sad for the human race that those guys actually exist.

Easier to remember our sigh's of the day than the normal guys... which is why after a while you often forget that there is also a lot of normal expats around.

But dont worry, the only other guys judging you are usually the dirty one's who are trying to up themselves a notch or 2 up the social ladder.. us with normal girls don't feel insecure for the most part.

and if you want to marry a good girl, dont worry if she likes to dress slutty, people who matter dont assume she's a bargirl.. it takes half a sec to see if shes one, and its from the way they talk/move and that they hang their clothes on themselves.

Edited August 26, 2010 by ilyelol

[mark45y]

Certainly not all bar girls are sleazy. Certainly a large number of normal Thai women at some point in their life supplement their wages by the pay for play business.

One would have to be very naive if one did not come up with a statistic that at least 50% of marriageable Thai women have at some time or another in one way or another been involved in some way with the P4P business.

There have been various reports on major universities in Thailand that put the percent around the figure I have mentioned. If you look hard you can find them.

So it is certainly not a habit confined to women who work in bars.

People who look down on wives or women in general because of their past associations or employment or proclivities are in my mind really missing the point.

Sex is not the same in Thailand as in the west. They are bringing their own values to another culture and judging that culture by Western standards.

Do a large percent of Thai women who have Falang husbands also have Thai husbands? Of course they do and any Thai can attest to this. But it is not the same as having two husbands in London or NY. This is Thailand.

[BigPanda]

Many Farang only know Pattaya thu Walking Street, Beach Road at night, Soi 5-6 and Gogo, and these girls are very sweet speaking...red warning!

Never get emotionally involved with prostitutes. All have a sad story, and man you can have a lot of empathie for them, but they have crossed the line between good and evil and will never come back.

Good luck with your marriage. Thai women are sweet and loving, not like most arrogant Western girls. They are also very crazy at time which make the life more fun.

Very well put.

It gets annoying sometimes that people will look at my wife as being a bar girl. Mostly other Thai women will give her some attitude. Like at the bank today one of the employees was rather rude to her in asking her what the heck she was doing going to Canada with me and we opened a joint account and need a statement. It wasn't the one helping us but just some other one that walked up and was talking in a tone as if to put her down.

Funny thing is she is a graduate, doesn't drink or go to bars, and was the one with the money, even buying me a big bike, car, etc. And she doesn't even really want to go to Canada, but will because I am going.

So you are the gigolo ? Your situation is the reverse of most. Maybe the bank girl was trying to help her "why you going to canada with him if you had to buy him a car ?"

Just teasing you... but worth thinking about it.

[BigPanda]

Certainly not all bar girls are sleazy. Certainly a large number of normal Thai women at some point in their life supplement their wages by the pay for play business.

One would have to be very naive if one did not come up with a statistic that at least 50% of marriageable Thai women have at some time or another in one way or another been involved in some way with the P4P business.

There have been various reports on major universities in Thailand that put the percent around the figure I have mentioned. If you look hard you can find them.

So it is certainly not a habit confined to women who work in bars.

People who look down on wives or women in general because of their past associations or employment or proclivities are in my mind really missing the point.

Sex is not the same in Thailand as in the west. They are bringing their own values to another culture and judging that culture by Western standards.

Do a large percent of Thai women who have Falang husbands also have Thai husbands? Of course they do and any Thai can attest to this. But it is not the same as having two husbands in London or NY. This is Thailand.

Very true, and for many of these university students, getting paid is as normal as western university girls having a one night stand. But because 50% do it doesn't excuse them.

[mark45y]

Certainly not all bar girls are sleazy. Certainly a large number of normal Thai women at some point in their life supplement their wages by the pay for play business.

One would have to be very naive if one did not come up with a statistic that at least 50% of marriageable Thai women have at some time or another in one way or another been involved in some way with the P4P business.

There have been various reports on major universities in Thailand that put the percent around the figure I have mentioned. If you look hard you can find them.

So it is certainly not a habit confined to women who work in bars.

People who look down on wives or women in general because of their past associations or employment or proclivities are in my mind really missing the point.

Sex is not the same in Thailand as in the west. They are bringing their own values to another culture and judging that culture by Western standards.

Do a large percent of Thai women who have Falang husbands also have Thai husbands? Of course they do and any Thai can attest to this. But it is not the same as having two husbands in London or NY. This is Thailand.

Very true, and for many of these university students, getting paid is as normal as western university girls having a one night stand. But because 50% do it doesn't excuse them.

Excuse them from what? Violating your western moral standards? Sex is like sneezing in Thailand. I realize that might be a difficult concept to grasp but it is true. Is the average Thai going to tell you that? No. It is like the girls who hoaxed Margaret Mead in the South Pacific. They tell you what you want to hear. You want a good girl. You'll get a good girl.

[TAWP]

Statistics.

Makes us assume it.

[IanForbes]

The simple answer is quite obvious. Most farangs in Thailand do not speak Thai. Anywhere outside of the main cities and tourist centers of Thailand there is almost no English or foreign languages spoken other than Thai. That means farangs who want to meet women must do so at the obvious places... bars. Hence that is who the farang men associate with. Farang men who DO speak Thai have many opportunities of meeting women in business and elsewhere other than bars. Ignorant people from aboad just naturally assume that farangs visiting Thailand are only going to make friends with bar girls.

[tropo]

I'm surprised you even had to ask this question. It's pretty obvious that most people around the world will assume you're married to a bargirl unless you can prove the contrarary. They certainly will think that money was the main reason the girl married you.

Age difference will have a lot to do with it too.

[Jangot]

OK, here is my story:

I met my wife in a disco. She was only 23 years old.

We became engaged after 2 weeks, and were married within 6 months.

She had a modest paying secretarial job, and was paid into a bank.

I had a better paying job, and was paid cash in hand.

To save for our setting up home together, it was easier for her to leave her pay in the bank, and for me to give her the cash she needed for living expenses.

If I leave the story there, I can see all sorts of flame and sarcastic responses...

So, to continue - I told all my friends and my family that we met in a disco - no-one even blinked an eye.

Why? Well, I was 21 years old, and my gf then wife was English. (The marriage lasted 29 years).

Now, if I mention that my present wife is Thai, that I am 11 years older than her, it does not matter what I would say about how we met; certain 'elements' here on TV would infer that I am making up a fantasy story and I really married a bar girl/hooker and she and her "brother" are about to rip me off big time. After being together for 10 years and married for 7, I can live with that. What matters to me is that my English family, my sons included, make no such judgements).

J.

[IanForbes]

I'm surprised you even had to ask this question. It's pretty obvious that most people around the world will assume you're married to a bargirl unless you can prove the contrarary. They certainly will think that money was the main reason the girl married you.

Age difference will have a lot to do with it too.

Age difference will have MOST to do with it. A young couple (farang man and Thai wife) of similar ages will seldom cause anyone to think they are any different that any other couple. But, an older farang man (over 40) with a young Thai woman in her twenties WILL attract some attention. And especially so because most Thai women look much younger than they are. Add to that the self righteous, bigoted majority in North America and Europe and you have your answer.

[TAWP]

Yes, Thai women tend to look younger than their western counter-part and as such look younger than us if we are the same age. Luckily my GF is older than me...

[473geo]

The answer is clear..... their view of her is a reflection of how they view you!!! ..........bottom feeder.....

[raven0099]

Well when i met my tgf in a disco tech , did i think she was a prostitute ? the truth is i never really thought about it at the time , i was single on holiday and i just wanted a bit of fun , so we were chatting and i bought a couple of drinks and one thing led to another and she came back to the hotel with me the next morning after we woke up i was thinking to myself should i or should i not offer this girl some money i mean how are you to really know unless she asks you for money ? anyway i did and said do you need some money the responce i got was" why you think i prostitute or dirty like lady bar " " i not go with you for money i go with you because i like you , i apologised and said i didnt mean to upset her and just wasnt sure what to do because there are many ladys like that in Thailand , she still was very upset and took a bit off time to calm down. but said she understood ,

Now i can tell you honestly i have slept with bar girls a few times while in the tourist places but not to much and i treated it all as a bit of fun with no intention of a relationship.

.Some of these girls were really nice people others not so nice , but you get good and bad in every walk of life.

I can also tell you that ive had a good few one night stands with falang girls, and some of them went threw the men at an alarming rate , like a different guy every other weekend , some of those girls had a reputations for this so at the end of the day people will talk or assume what ever they want , but to hel_l we them the main thing is that your happy so do what you feel is right

Back to my tgf she has been married for six years has a daughter but is a nice person and i love her , there is only a 5 year age difference between us so were both still young and we get on great together so why not !

[kevozman1]

I'm surprised you even had to ask this question. It's pretty obvious that most people around the world will assume you're married to a bargirl unless you can prove the contrarary. They certainly will think that money was the main reason the girl married you.

Age difference will have a lot to do with it too.

Age difference will have MOST to do with it. A young couple (farang man and Thai wife) of similar ages will seldom cause anyone to think they are any different that any other couple. But, an older farang man (over 40) with a young Thai woman in her twenties WILL attract some attention. And especially so because most Thai women look much younger than they are. Add to that the self righteous, bigoted majority in North America and Europe and you have your answer.

I am 26 and my Thai girl is 25 and to be honest we both look young for our ages.

Before in Thailand when we are together I did not feel uneasy when walking with my finac'e

but do detect eyes following us around sometimes and contrary to what you said

I would have to say it is Thai people who are more bigoted in general. I have no plans to

re-enter Thailand but my girl will to visit family.

In the UK no one looks at us twice, which I like because we are not anything special and can

live our lifes without all the <deleted> you get in Thailand. Now do not get me wrong I do

understand when a Thai stares they are most of time thinking what the hel_l you (as a perceived

rich farang) are doing in Thailand but I like to blend with the crowd.

In Wales at the moment but want to move back to my manor in London where people do not

give a fuc_k where you are from or what you are up to................. I miss that.

Just want to be honest and say that I do not think it matters what age (within reason) you

and your Thai partner are in Thailand it will be viewed in almost the same fashion but I

think the ones who usually live happier do not worry about what strangers think about them.

[TAWP]

If you want to avoid people thinking you girl is 'vacation fun', don't dress like a tourist.

Too many expats here dress like they are on vacation or don't care much.

If you dress up, atleast they will think your lady is high-price girl instead of cheapest the street offered.

True story.

[raven0099]

If you want to avoid people thinking you girl is 'vacation fun', don't dress like a tourist.

Too many expats here dress like they are on vacation or don't care much.

If you dress up, atleast they will think your lady is high-price girl instead of cheapest the street offered.

True story.

To be honest when im there i wear what im comfortable in if thats t-shirt n shorts through the day then thats what i wear , if i go for a nite out a nice shirt and trousers , im not really worried what people think when they look at us in Thailand or the Uk , Basically im not changing for anyone if they dont like me as i am then too bad ! i dont care