Why I Don'T Teach My Gf English

[ChiangMaiFun]

I always sat on my armor instead of wearing it in a UH-1B ... and then mused to your Huey buddies that you just "... love the smell of napalm in the morning... It smells like... VICTORY."

Catchy phrase.

Napalm was dropped by planes usually flown by the Air Force. I had little to do with the Air Force. The guy who did my job in the Air Force had a mattress that was twice as thick as mine. He lived in Saigon and really had a good time. I don't want to whine but I would have traded positions with him in a minute. Although the Army dress blue NCO uniforms were really cool.

A Huey is a helicopter. Airplanes that dropped napalm had fixed wings.

Movies are a poor source of actual war experience.

In Vietnam there were 8 people in support positions for every one soldier in combat.

The great majority of helicopters flew medi vac and supply missions. These pilots, most very young and with little training, flew into very difficult situations under fire and in impossible weather to rescue troops who were injured.

Do you think war is exciting and people like it? War is mostly boring with a very small percent of the time spent in absolute terror.

I have always been in favor of the draft so people like could get some real combat experience and failing that at least some army experience.

is that right 8 support for 1 combat? I never knew that - thanks

300 baht a day - that makes about 10,000 a month which is about average I'd say - some crazy farang give 20,000 but I think 10,000 about right if she get's 'room and board' thrown in - 15,000 if she lives 'off base'

You sure are taking a knocking on here! I have too on different threads - how are you keeping so cool?

[mark45y]

I always sat on my armor instead of wearing it in a UH-1B ... and then mused to your Huey buddies that you just "... love the smell of napalm in the morning... It smells like... VICTORY."

Catchy phrase.

Jazzbo,

Actually I owe my find to you. After responding to your post I decided to look on line at my old army website. They post new things all the time and I wondered if I could get a photo of some of the aircraft I flew. When I happened upon a photo of myself and my murderous crew. All draftees. All ruthless Rambo type battle hardened troops. I am the one in the middle without the glasses.

[ChiangMaiFun]

I always sat on my armor instead of wearing it in a UH-1B ... and then mused to your Huey buddies that you just "... love the smell of napalm in the morning... It smells like... VICTORY."

Catchy phrase.

Jazzbo,

Actually I owe my find to you. After responding to your post I decided to look on line at my old army website. They post new things all the time and I wondered if I could get a photo of some of the aircraft I flew. When I happened upon a photo of myself and my murderous crew. All draftees. All ruthless Rambo type battle hardened troops. I am the one in the middle without the glasses.

This is all getting sightly 'wierd' are they Carol Singers? what are they singing about? 'Good King Wencelsus dropped a bomb'?

[DoubtingThomas]

I always sat on my armor instead of wearing it in a UH-1B ... and then mused to your Huey buddies that you just "... love the smell of napalm in the morning... It smells like... VICTORY."

Catchy phrase.

Napalm was dropped by planes usually flown by the Air Force. I had little to do with the Air Force. The guy who did my job in the Air Force had a mattress that was twice as thick as mine. He lived in Saigon and really had a good time. I don't want to whine but I would have traded positions with him in a minute. Although the Army dress blue NCO uniforms were really cool.

A Huey is a helicopter. Airplanes that dropped napalm had fixed wings.

Movies are a poor source of actual war experience.

In Vietnam there were 8 people in support positions for every one soldier in combat.

The great majority of helicopters flew medi vac and supply missions. These pilots, most very young and with little training, flew into very difficult situations under fire and in impossible weather to rescue troops who were injured.

Do you think war is exciting and people like it? War is mostly boring with a very small percent of the time spent in absolute terror.

I have always been in favor of the draft so people like could get some real combat experience and failing that at least some army experience.

Couple of questions:

1. <deleted> has this to do with the thread YOU started?

2. <deleted> has this to do with jazzbo's brilliant retort?

Ah, the draft. Is that draft you are so in favor of the one you earlier commented that you went to some lengths to avoid? Eventually succumbing even though as a Canadian you could have just stepped over the boarder (again), legally. Worse that would have happened to you was to lose your US citizenship. Now, let me see "bullet in the head" "lose citizenship". Hmmm, what to do, what to do. Now I've spent a lot of time in Canada and it can be <deleted>' cold, but it's really not too bad otherwise. Good beer and great titty bars. C$5 table dances too. Can't beat it. I can see how anyone would chose a bullet in the head over that..................

Same with the paper pushing. "bullet in the head" "Fill out forms" "bullet in the head".........of course you chose "bullet in the head", just as any rational person would.

What is "medi vac"? Is that the thing they use in operating theaters? Like on the telly when they say to the nurse "suction". I always wondered if that was code for a BJ myself. Anyway, after countless microseconds of googling I figured out you meant "med-evac". I guess even experts make mistakes.

Agree on movies. I've watched a few porno's myself (under duress, you understand) and I find they're nothing like the real thing. Same as movies when people get shot, I bet lots of people think that's just what it's like. Then they get shot and boy, are they p*ssed.

Get back to the subject dude. We couldn't care less about what you would have done if you'd ever gone to Vietnam.

[mark45y]

Christmas 1969. You know, Christmas carols. The deadliest years for combat were 68 and 69 if my memory is correct. I worked in an office. We had a Christmas tree. The office girls dressed up like Santa's elves. Ate turkey dinner. Went to the NCO club and played with Korean girls, drank beer. Typical war stuff.

[DoubtingThomas]

I always sat on my armor instead of wearing it in a UH-1B ... and then mused to your Huey buddies that you just "... love the smell of napalm in the morning... It smells like... VICTORY."

Catchy phrase.

Jazzbo,

Actually I owe my find to you. After responding to your post I decided to look on line at my old army website. They post new things all the time and I wondered if I could get a photo of some of the aircraft I flew. When I happened upon a photo of myself and my murderous crew. All draftees. All ruthless Rambo type battle hardened troops. I am the one in the middle without the glasses.

As opposed to the one in the middle with glasses?

So, jazzbo's pithy response drove you to find a picture of some blokes singing carols? Can't see the connection mate, sorry. No pictures of you sitting on your arse armor I s'pose. Publish a picture of you now so we know it's you, or better still, publish the link to the website. Go on, I dare you.

[DoubtingThomas]

I always sat on my armor instead of wearing it in a UH-1B ... and then mused to your Huey buddies that you just "... love the smell of napalm in the morning... It smells like... VICTORY."

Catchy phrase.

Jazzbo,

Actually I owe my find to you. After responding to your post I decided to look on line at my old army website. They post new things all the time and I wondered if I could get a photo of some of the aircraft I flew. When I happened upon a photo of myself and my murderous crew. All draftees. All ruthless Rambo type battle hardened troops. I am the one in the middle without the glasses.

This is all getting sightly 'wierd' are they Carol Singers? what are they singing about? 'Good King Wencelsus dropped a bomb'?

Dunno why you took a knocking CMF. This gets my vote for one of the funnier responses. Keep 'em coming. I am sure there will be an endless supply of opportunity..........

[DoubtingThomas]

Christmas 1969. You know, Christmas carols. The deadliest years for combat were 68 and 69 if my memory is correct. I worked in an office. We had a Christmas tree. The office girls dressed up like Santa's elves. Ate turkey dinner. Went to the NCO club and played with Korean girls, drank beer. Typical war stuff.

Yep, typical whore stuff.

[ChiangMaiFun]

I always sat on my armor instead of wearing it in a UH-1B ... and then mused to your Huey buddies that you just "... love the smell of napalm in the morning... It smells like... VICTORY."

Catchy phrase.

Jazzbo,

Actually I owe my find to you. After responding to your post I decided to look on line at my old army website. They post new things all the time and I wondered if I could get a photo of some of the aircraft I flew. When I happened upon a photo of myself and my murderous crew. All draftees. All ruthless Rambo type battle hardened troops. I am the one in the middle without the glasses.

This is all getting sightly 'wierd' are they Carol Singers? what are they singing about? 'Good King Wencelsus dropped a bomb'?

Dunno why you took a knocking CMF. This gets my vote for one of the funnier responses. Keep 'em coming. I am sure there will be an endless supply of opportunity..........

Sorry this went right over my head? I didn't take a 'knocking'? Mark did? I tried to be slightly witty? (probably failed).

[mark45y]

Doubting T answer.

Vietnam is one of the reasons I don't teach my GF English. The rest of the stuff I was just answering questions.

Jazzbo implied I and my Huey buddies liked napalm. I never smelled napalm I flew helicopters. They didn't give me any napalm. I think it smells like gas.

Medi vac is medical evacuation, sorry.

The draft was a very complex issue. It drove my and many other young men's lives for years. It changed a lot of things including what I studied in college and where I worked and lived and marriage and a myriad of other issues. No, I didn't want to get drafted. They were even drafting for the Marine corps. Marines are scary. The Marine corps is scary. Unless you are into that kind of stuff. God love em but I am not much of a Rambo type. See photo.

The alternatives I had were to go to Canada and be a draft dodger or submit to the draft. I thought I had the Vietnam thing beat by being assigned to a language school in Washington but my orders crossed in the mail and I went to Vietnam instead. Who would have thought that only a few years later they forgave all the draft dodgers and said you can come back to the States and everything is forgiven?

I lived with a few women in Vietnam and in Thailand during my sojourn in SEA. I taught them English. I would have been a lot better off if I learned Thai and Vietnamese. Speaking only English I was restricted to college educated women, stewardesses or hookers. And that's a small percent of the female population. I would have done much better and had a lot more fun if my Thai and Vietnamese was better way back then.

[DoubtingThomas]

This is all getting sightly 'wierd' are they Carol Singers? what are they singing about? 'Good King Wencelsus dropped a bomb'?

Dunno why you took a knocking CMF. This gets my vote for one of the funnier responses. Keep 'em coming. I am sure there will be an endless supply of opportunity..........

Sorry this went right over my head? I didn't take a 'knocking'? Mark did? I tried to be slightly witty? (probably failed).

Sorry, but you said you'd taken a knocking on different threads. That was what I was (obviously cryptically) referring to. You were more than slightly witty. Keep it up.

[mark45y]

Christmas 1969. You know, Christmas carols. The deadliest years for combat were 68 and 69 if my memory is correct. I worked in an office. We had a Christmas tree. The office girls dressed up like Santa's elves. Ate turkey dinner. Went to the NCO club and played with Korean girls, drank beer. Typical war stuff.

Yep, typical whore stuff.

DT don't tell me you are a prostitute basher too? Is that the reason you have chosen to so vehemently oppose me on this thread? Because you don't like hookers and the men who frequent them? That is what men do at war. Even Eisenhower had a lady on the side when he was the Supreme Allied commander.

[ChiangMaiFun]

Sorry this went right over my head? I didn't take a 'knocking'? Mark did? I tried to be slightly witty? (probably failed).

Sorry, but you said you'd taken a knocking on different threads. That was what I was (obviously cryptically) referring to. You were more than slightly witty. Keep it up.

Ahhh got it - I was being slightly 'empathetic' to the Carol Singer? we all get 'knocked'? or 'knocked up'? sing along now...

'good King Wencelsus last looked down upon the feast of Napalm' good ho!

[mark45y]

I always sat on my armor instead of wearing it in a UH-1B ... and then mused to your Huey buddies that you just "... love the smell of napalm in the morning... It smells like... VICTORY."

Catchy phrase.

Jazzbo,

Actually I owe my find to you. After responding to your post I decided to look on line at my old army website. They post new things all the time and I wondered if I could get a photo of some of the aircraft I flew. When I happened upon a photo of myself and my murderous crew. All draftees. All ruthless Rambo type battle hardened troops. I am the one in the middle without the glasses.

As opposed to the one in the middle with glasses?

So, jazzbo's pithy response drove you to find a picture of some blokes singing carols? Can't see the connection mate, sorry. No pictures of you sitting on your arse armor I s'pose. Publish a picture of you now so we know it's you, or better still, publish the link to the website. Go on, I dare you.

Too many wackos to publish my name sorry. Nor would I ask you to publish your name. I am a published author and I was way back when I was in the Army.

My name figures prominently on the website with the photos. So I guess I will have to decline your dare.

Really don't you think that is a bit grade school ish.

I was looking for pictures of helicopter gunships with a napalm pod or to see if any were listed in the unit I was with. I didn't find any but I found the photo. I was quite pleased because my first wife burned all the photos I sent her of my time in SEA. So I don't have many. She burned my favorite one with tommy gun and shoulder holstered 45 and a cowboy hat.

Edited October 26, 2010 by mark45y

[IanForbes]

Mark, you can't win with priggish people who have closed minds. It's been an interesting read, though.

[kropotkin]

In Rome, do as the romans.

So i will STAY off topic.

Now, who won? The world's finest army, or the tiny vietnamese peasants?

[ChiangMaiFun]

Mark, you can't win with priggish people who have closed minds. It's been an interesting read, though.

It certainly has... I'm in two minds though - would love to know what is - and what is not...

[mark45y]

Sorry, but you said you'd taken a knocking on different threads. That was what I was (obviously cryptically) referring to. You were more than slightly witty. Keep it up.

Ahhh got it - I was being slightly 'empathetic' to the Carol Singer? we all get 'knocked'? or 'knocked up'? sing along now...

'good King Wencelsus last looked down upon the feast of Napalm' good ho!

Don't forget Jingle guns and on the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me 3 hand grenades 2 VC and a sniper in a palm tree.

[ChiangMaiFun]

'good King Wencelsus last looked down upon the feast of Napalm' good ho!

Don't forget Jingle guns and on the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me 3 hand grenades 2 VC and a sniper in a palm tree.

Quite... forgive my poor attempt at 'humour' (English spelling not - Yank sorry) - BTW I hate Yank spelling - it's called 'English' for a reason - it's not called 'American' for different reasons to do with the English inventing it etc.

[domprz]

Fascinating topic - the content - the participants - their content - their nature - both content and nature appear to be liberally garnished with fiction and fabrication. There have been a few revealing slips. I have enjoyed this - so thanks to all of you.

[mark45y]

In Rome, do as the romans.

So i will STAY off topic.

Now, who won? The world's finest army, or the tiny vietnamese peasants?

They beat the French before I got there, French dead: 92,707 Viet Minh: 500,000 Civilians: 250,000 . As I mentioned before when I left we were winning. I told em what to do and what not to do. They messed it up. It wasn't my fault. One can't worry about things one has no control over or you'll go crazy. Deaths, 1,100,000 North Vietnamese Army, Viet Cong,65,000, Chinese Army 122, Russian Army 16, US Army 58,267, Thai Army 351, Australian Army 426, New Zealand 55, South Korea 5,099.

[kropotkin]

In Rome, do as the romans.

So i will STAY off topic.

Now, who won? The world's finest army, or the tiny vietnamese peasants?

They beat the French before I got there, French dead: 92,707 Viet Minh: 500,000 Civilians: 250,000 . As I mentioned before when I left we were winning. I told em what to do and what not to do. They messed it up. It wasn't my fault. One can't worry about things one has no control over or you'll go crazy. Deaths, 1,100,000 North Vietnamese Army, Viet Cong,65,000, Chinese Army 122, Russian Army 16, US Army 58,267, Thai Army 351, Australian Army 426, New Zealand 55, South Korea 5,099.

We were winning, THEY messed up, THEY did not do what you told them to do...

Who are WE (surely not me ! )

Who are THEY (the local puppet government?)

The number of deaths on both sides may say something about the firepower and lack of civilisation of the other side.

And if i remember well, YOU (...) left your embassy in quite a hurry

[DoubtingThomas]

Mark, you can't win with priggish people who have closed minds. It's been an interesting read, though.

It certainly has... I'm in two minds though - would love to know what is - and what is not...

Closed minds? <deleted>? My mind is wide open, and I'm ready to listen to anyone, as I suspect are most TV members. BS sets my alarm bells ringing though and I'm not one to sit back and let it slide by. Up to you if you've drunk the cool aid Ian. Good on ya.

[DoubtingThomas]

Christmas 1969. You know, Christmas carols. The deadliest years for combat were 68 and 69 if my memory is correct. I worked in an office. We had a Christmas tree. The office girls dressed up like Santa's elves. Ate turkey dinner. Went to the NCO club and played with Korean girls, drank beer. Typical war stuff.

Yep, typical whore stuff.

DT don't tell me you are a prostitute basher too? Is that the reason you have chosen to so vehemently oppose me on this thread? Because you don't like hookers and the men who frequent them? That is what men do at war. Even Eisenhower had a lady on the side when he was the Supreme Allied commander.

Another amazing leap into a totally incorrect assumption. You must have been sleeping through half of your anthropology classes......

[jazzbo]

from the screenplay of Apocalypse Now (1979)

while flying in a helicopter with Air Cavalry soldiers]

Chef:

Why do all you guys sit on your helmets?

Soldier:

So we don't get our balls blown off.

Kilgore:

Smell that? You smell that?

Lance:

What?

Kilgore:

Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. [kneels]

Kilgore:

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a

hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn't

find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that

gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like [sniffing, pondering]

Kilgore: Victory. Someday this war's gonna end... [suddenly walks off]

Edited October 26, 2010 by jazzbo

[kropotkin]

Apocalypse Now (1979)

while flying in a helicopter with Air Cavalry soldiers]

Chef:

Why do all you guys sit on your helmets?

Soldier:

So we don't get our balls blown off.

Kilgore:

Smell that? You smell that?

Lance:

What?

Kilgore:

Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. [kneels]

Kilgore:

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a

hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn't

find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that

gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like [sniffing, pondering]

Kilgore: Victory. Someday this war's gonna end... [suddenly walks off]

me: Someday this war's gonna end ???? don't worry son, we can always start a new one,then we will have new people to rape, maim, torture and murder.

NOW CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT THE PLEASURES OF MASS MURDER ?????????

ANY MODERATOR AROUND ???????

[DoubtingThomas]

Doubting T answer.

Vietnam is one of the reasons I don't teach my GF English. The rest of the stuff I was just answering questions.

Jazzbo implied I and my Huey buddies liked napalm. I never smelled napalm I flew helicopters. They didn't give me any napalm. I think it smells like gas.

Medi vac is medical evacuation, sorry.

The draft was a very complex issue. It drove my and many other young men's lives for years. It changed a lot of things including what I studied in college and where I worked and lived and marriage and a myriad of other issues. No, I didn't want to get drafted. They were even drafting for the Marine corps. Marines are scary. The Marine corps is scary. Unless you are into that kind of stuff. God love em but I am not much of a Rambo type. See photo.

The alternatives I had were to go to Canada and be a draft dodger or submit to the draft. I thought I had the Vietnam thing beat by being assigned to a language school in Washington but my orders crossed in the mail and I went to Vietnam instead. Who would have thought that only a few years later they forgave all the draft dodgers and said you can come back to the States and everything is forgiven?

I lived with a few women in Vietnam and in Thailand during my sojourn in SEA. I taught them English. I would have been a lot better off if I learned Thai and Vietnamese. Speaking only English I was restricted to college educated women, stewardesses or hookers. And that's a small percent of the female population. I would have done much better and had a lot more fun if my Thai and Vietnamese was better way back then.

O.K. Mark, thank you for posting this. It opens up a wonderful opportunity to get serious and back on track. You know, if it were not for your previous posts, I wouldn't even bat an eyelid and the crux of this one. Earlier posts make me suspicious though, and I'm disappointed that in subsequent posts you have reverted to type. Sadly, I guess you just can't help it.

Nevertheless, let's look at your revelations in this post, and let me stress that I'm focusing on the "Vietnam Action" portion of it, not the bragging about how many women you've bedded. Your contention that you ended up in Vietnam by accident has a ring of truth about it if only because a similar thing happened to a now sadly departed buddy of mine, but I think even you will agree that prodding you into the revelations in the above posts casts quite a different light on your exploits, taking you from the Harry Palmer you previously portrayed to more of an Alfie. Look, we've all been guilty, from time to time, of painting a rather flattering image of our involvement in something or our past activities, usually through omission of key facts. You are at it constantly though, seemingly without end. I could tell you about the five women I screwed in one day (did I? Who knows?) but unless it is clearly relevant to the subject under discussion it can only be interpreted as bragging (as well as impossible to prove, or disprove. A bit like God). You make the most tenuous claims of relevance to the subject under discussion to justify your continued injection of irrelevant and self promoting "life experiences" into the argument. Mark, it might well be that they're all true; if that is the case, jolly good luck to you, you have led a varied, interesting, sometimes dangerous but always exciting life. It's a shame it has ended up where it clearly is now (I refer to your recent post about your "day"), something I find sad, and not a little boring. Being an old fart I have known lots of old soldiers and I can tell you that not one of them has ever really talked about war. None of my uncles (lots) none of my older workmates when I started work way back, none of the many Vietnam vets I worked with in California. They'd admit to being there, but that's all you'd get. My old boss in the U.K. was a Spitfire pilot. Somebody else told me, he would never talk about it. My old man spent the war in India and Burma; the most I've ever got out of the old bugger revolves around football and dinners with the locals and dumping big American Brand new Ford engines. Yet you seem to revel in these tidbits, all revolving around you and what an apparent hero you were. It's sad dude, stop doing it.

It must be clear to you that I've taken the trouble to research your posts. When I cut out all the crap aimed at projecting you as the bloke in the Corona ad ("The most interesting man in the World") I see some decent stuff. I don't necessarily agree with it, but it stands on its own as relevant. Cut the crap, we don't need it, nor do you. You have valid things to say that don't need the embellishment.

O.K. now I'll go back to taking the p*ss as is necessary. Hopefully, it won't be.

[jazzbo]

Jazzbo implied I and my Huey buddies liked napalm.... Jazzbo only was implying that FFCoppola might have been cribbing your lines.

... and as per DT above, my Father was a WWII Navy fighter pilot ... he said that they lost more pilots in training (carrier landings, dives, etc.) than in combat and other than that would never talk about it ... he had no problem flying as airline passenger but never flew as pilot again after 1946.

... and I am also familiar with Frustrated-Writer-Syndrome ... a close acquaintance -- who has been a professional writer / magazine editor most of his adult career -- has written two novels but although they have been accepted by agents, etc. has had no bites from publishers and -- as a professional -- he will not go the publish-it-yourself route ...

Edited October 26, 2010 by jazzbo

[jazzbo]

... in other words, it's OK to write my ideas and experience and those experience are a result of living and to justify my ideas with my life experience ... just don't be surprised if/when -- other than the 'peanut gallery' here on TV/forum myself included -- nobody else could give a sh-t.

Edited October 26, 2010 by jazzbo

[domprz]

Jazzbo implied I and my Huey buddies liked napalm.... Jazzbo only was implying that FFCoppola might have been cribbing your lines.

... and as per DT above, my Father was a WWII Navy fighter pilot ... he said that they lost more pilots in training (carrier landings, dives, etc.) than in combat and other than that would never talk about it ... he had no problem flying as airline passenger but never flew as pilot again after 1946.

... and I am also familiar with Frustrated-Writer-Syndrome ... a close acquaintance -- who has been a professional writer / magazine editor most of his adult career -- has written two novels but although they have been accepted by agents, etc. has had no bites from publishers and -- as a professional -- he will not go the publish-it-yourself route ...

In war combatants hardly ever use their own discretion. They operate under orders. Those deployed in the hot-spots are the fittest and the youngest, least likely to challenge those orders. A school-leaver does not look at a woman and child (through the sights of a rifle) in the same way that a man with his own wife and child does. Most of the real stories of war, are those of shame for the pawns, and are therefore never told.