Sinsod Blues

[bifftastic]

He told me the worst is he has now the best relation in the world with his father in law who turned out to be a very straight guy. I realize I forgot to say that the father was at the beginning opposed to the marriage and was asking an outrageously high sinsod when the mother in law stepped in to to broker the deal .....

sounds to me like she brokered the deal by getting the house put in her name, dad doesn't have to ask for large sin sodt, mum creates what she believes to be a compromise, then the farang goes nuts and walks away!

What does he care who's name the house is in? It can't be in his name anyway!

Edited February 3, 2011 by bifftastic

[bifftastic]

Just tell him you will accept the Thai Tradition of Sin Sot if he agrees to the American Tradition of the Bride Father paying for the wedding (the original in America of course), if he agrees then send him a Bill of xxxx Baht (if you have to, include the wedding ring)and tell him thats what he has to pay you, after you deducted the Sinsot. Then see where it goes from there.

We have a winner !

Best answer yet.

I agree, great idea!

[MSingh]

Tell the greedy old bastard to <deleted> OFF. And tell ya wife to stop being so bloody stupid. Your married she should have thought about it BEFORE not 2 years later.

Get a back bone ya silly sod.

This ^^^^^ with bells on!

Thumbs up.

[JurgenG]

He told me the worst is he has now the best relation in the world with his father in law who turned out to be a very straight guy. I realize I forgot to say that the father was at the beginning opposed to the marriage and was asking an outrageously high sinsod when the mother in law stepped in to to broker the deal .....

sounds to me like she brokered the deal by getting the house put in her name, dad doesn't have to ask for large sin sodt, mum creates what she believes to be a compromise, then the farang goes nuts and walks away!

What does he care who's name the house is in? It can't be in his name anyway!

That's a way to look at it.

But why not making it clear from the beginning ?

The position of the dad was clear, he was against the marriage. But it seems in this country what men want is not important. Thai or farang, it makes no difference, just pay and shut up. When you look at it, from the top to the bottom of the Thai society, it's women who run the show !

[steelepulse]

I love how a first time poster throws out the bait, and everyone jumps in for the OP to never be heard from again. This is a good thread though!

[sacdog]

Maybe i am not online alot and dont understand the forum rules. Right now the only thing i know is my wife is in Thailand crying, her dad is stuborn and her mom wants to have a wedding. If the older thai women are responsible for negotiating why am i dealing with the dad?

[JurgenG]

Maybe i am not online alot and dont understand the forum rules. Right now the only thing i know is my wife is in Thailand crying, her dad is stuborn and her mom wants to have a wedding. If the older thai women are responsible for negotiating why am i dealing with the dad?

It's a very good question

[MJP]

A friend of mine told me his story lately. He too was not comfortable with the sinsod idea, so a compromise was found. Before getting married he will buy the house where they will live with his wife to show his commitment to the relation, he will of course pay for the wedding and the enveloppes in the guest box will go to the family. It was fair and the wedding went ahead.The marriage was very nice in a top Bangkok hotel, the family had a good deal the enveloppes were worth a few hundred thousand bahts but as his wife explained, her parents had paid enveloppe for friends and relatives for years, they were just kind of getting their money back. Everything was fine.

Then last year two major things happen. The younger sister got married. they had a very nice engagement party where the sinsod was given. The groom who is not so wealthy had to borrow gold from his boss but everything was returned after the ceremony. The wedding took place in a nice place . Just before the end , the boxes were opened, from the amount collected the newly married couple paid the reception bills and kept the balance. The groom wasn't very rich so my friend didn't really mind that he had to pay everything and got noithing while his new brother in law ...

But the worst came a couple of month later. My friend and his wife had to fill some paper, insurance ... for some new investments they're doing when he realized the house has been put under the mother name. The wife told him it was just part of the original agreement but she didn't tell him because she was afraid he will get upset ... After they left the lawyer, my friend went back to work and went back home ... three days later !

He knows his wife feels terrible about the all story but she went along anyway ... He told me he's not so sure if their relation can survive his deep feeling to have been screwed. He can't see his mother in law anymore without feeling like spitting in her face.

He told me the worst is he has now the best relation in the world with his father in law who turned out to be a very straight guy. I realize I forgot to say that the father was at the beginning opposed to the marriage and was asking an outrageously high sinsod when the mother in law stepped in to to broker the deal .....

In a word . . . thieves.

[transam]

A friend of mine told me his story lately. He too was not comfortable with the sinsod idea, so a compromise was found. Before getting married he will buy the house where they will live with his wife to show his commitment to the relation, he will of course pay for the wedding and the enveloppes in the guest box will go to the family. It was fair and the wedding went ahead.The marriage was very nice in a top Bangkok hotel, the family had a good deal the enveloppes were worth a few hundred thousand bahts but as his wife explained, her parents had paid enveloppe for friends and relatives for years, they were just kind of getting their money back. Everything was fine.

Then last year two major things happen. The younger sister got married. they had a very nice engagement party where the sinsod was given. The groom who is not so wealthy had to borrow gold from his boss but everything was returned after the ceremony. The wedding took place in a nice place . Just before the end , the boxes were opened, from the amount collected the newly married couple paid the reception bills and kept the balance. The groom wasn't very rich so my friend didn't really mind that he had to pay everything and got noithing while his new brother in law ...

But the worst came a couple of month later. My friend and his wife had to fill some paper, insurance ... for some new investments they're doing when he realized the house has been put under the mother name. The wife told him it was just part of the original agreement but she didn't tell him because she was afraid he will get upset ... After they left the lawyer, my friend went back to work and went back home ... three days later !

He knows his wife feels terrible about the all story but she went along anyway ... He told me he's not so sure if their relation can survive his deep feeling to have been screwed. He can't see his mother in law anymore without feeling like spitting in her face.

He told me the worst is he has now the best relation in the world with his father in law who turned out to be a very straight guy. I realize I forgot to say that the father was at the beginning opposed to the marriage and was asking an outrageously high sinsod when the mother in law stepped in to to broker the deal .....

In a word . . . thieves.

Yes, that is an awful story and it looks like it was done so that if he divorced the house wasn't his wife's to split the finances. Mum sure new what she was up to and unfortunately so does the wife.

[MJP]

A friend of mine told me his story lately. He too was not comfortable with the sinsod idea, so a compromise was found. Before getting married he will buy the house where they will live with his wife to show his commitment to the relation, he will of course pay for the wedding and the enveloppes in the guest box will go to the family. It was fair and the wedding went ahead.The marriage was very nice in a top Bangkok hotel, the family had a good deal the enveloppes were worth a few hundred thousand bahts but as his wife explained, her parents had paid enveloppe for friends and relatives for years, they were just kind of getting their money back. Everything was fine.

Then last year two major things happen. The younger sister got married. they had a very nice engagement party where the sinsod was given. The groom who is not so wealthy had to borrow gold from his boss but everything was returned after the ceremony. The wedding took place in a nice place . Just before the end , the boxes were opened, from the amount collected the newly married couple paid the reception bills and kept the balance. The groom wasn't very rich so my friend didn't really mind that he had to pay everything and got noithing while his new brother in law ...

But the worst came a couple of month later. My friend and his wife had to fill some paper, insurance ... for some new investments they're doing when he realized the house has been put under the mother name. The wife told him it was just part of the original agreement but she didn't tell him because she was afraid he will get upset ... After they left the lawyer, my friend went back to work and went back home ... three days later !

He knows his wife feels terrible about the all story but she went along anyway ... He told me he's not so sure if their relation can survive his deep feeling to have been screwed. He can't see his mother in law anymore without feeling like spitting in her face.

He told me the worst is he has now the best relation in the world with his father in law who turned out to be a very straight guy. I realize I forgot to say that the father was at the beginning opposed to the marriage and was asking an outrageously high sinsod when the mother in law stepped in to to broker the deal .....

In a word . . . thieves.

Yes, that is an awful story and it looks like it was done so that if he divorced the house wasn't his wife's to split the finances. Mum sure new what she was up to and unfortunately so does the wife.

They did this to me but under my instruction. Wife was off with a real degenerate, house at risk because of gambling etc. MIL had rescued the deeds, I took them to the local land office to put in MIL's and kids' name. Out of harms way, kids have a nice safe home without the risk of loosing it. Stability.

What this blokes MIL was thinking was likely the house needs to be secured for the daughter. It's not all about the parents grabbing money for themselves but in my experience they are looking out for their own children and grand children, certainly the case here where this poor old goat worries about how her children will have an income later on, borrows from the bank, buys land, farms the hell out it and pays it off. They're in their thirties now!

He's still been done like a kipper though, as many of us are.

[JurgenG]

A friend of mine told me his story lately. He too was not comfortable with the sinsod idea, so a compromise was found. Before getting married he will buy the house where they will live with his wife to show his commitment to the relation, he will of course pay for the wedding and the enveloppes in the guest box will go to the family. It was fair and the wedding went ahead.The marriage was very nice in a top Bangkok hotel, the family had a good deal the enveloppes were worth a few hundred thousand bahts but as his wife explained, her parents had paid enveloppe for friends and relatives for years, they were just kind of getting their money back. Everything was fine.

Then last year two major things happen. The younger sister got married. they had a very nice engagement party where the sinsod was given. The groom who is not so wealthy had to borrow gold from his boss but everything was returned after the ceremony. The wedding took place in a nice place . Just before the end , the boxes were opened, from the amount collected the newly married couple paid the reception bills and kept the balance. The groom wasn't very rich so my friend didn't really mind that he had to pay everything and got noithing while his new brother in law ...

But the worst came a couple of month later. My friend and his wife had to fill some paper, insurance ... for some new investments they're doing when he realized the house has been put under the mother name. The wife told him it was just part of the original agreement but she didn't tell him because she was afraid he will get upset ... After they left the lawyer, my friend went back to work and went back home ... three days later !

He knows his wife feels terrible about the all story but she went along anyway ... He told me he's not so sure if their relation can survive his deep feeling to have been screwed. He can't see his mother in law anymore without feeling like spitting in her face.

He told me the worst is he has now the best relation in the world with his father in law who turned out to be a very straight guy. I realize I forgot to say that the father was at the beginning opposed to the marriage and was asking an outrageously high sinsod when the mother in law stepped in to to broker the deal .....

In a word . . . thieves.

Yes, that is an awful story and it looks like it was done so that if he divorced the house wasn't his wife's to split the finances. Mum sure new what she was up to and unfortunately so does the wife.

It's sure, it's all about a mother trying to protect her daughter best interests.

But when you compare to the way the other "local" son in law is treated, despite all the smiles and the welcomes, all this distrust, it really hurts.

[MJP]

A friend of mine told me his story lately. He too was not comfortable with the sinsod idea, so a compromise was found. Before getting married he will buy the house where they will live with his wife to show his commitment to the relation, he will of course pay for the wedding and the enveloppes in the guest box will go to the family. It was fair and the wedding went ahead.The marriage was very nice in a top Bangkok hotel, the family had a good deal the enveloppes were worth a few hundred thousand bahts but as his wife explained, her parents had paid enveloppe for friends and relatives for years, they were just kind of getting their money back. Everything was fine.

Then last year two major things happen. The younger sister got married. they had a very nice engagement party where the sinsod was given. The groom who is not so wealthy had to borrow gold from his boss but everything was returned after the ceremony. The wedding took place in a nice place . Just before the end , the boxes were opened, from the amount collected the newly married couple paid the reception bills and kept the balance. The groom wasn't very rich so my friend didn't really mind that he had to pay everything and got noithing while his new brother in law ...

But the worst came a couple of month later. My friend and his wife had to fill some paper, insurance ... for some new investments they're doing when he realized the house has been put under the mother name. The wife told him it was just part of the original agreement but she didn't tell him because she was afraid he will get upset ... After they left the lawyer, my friend went back to work and went back home ... three days later !

He knows his wife feels terrible about the all story but she went along anyway ... He told me he's not so sure if their relation can survive his deep feeling to have been screwed. He can't see his mother in law anymore without feeling like spitting in her face.

He told me the worst is he has now the best relation in the world with his father in law who turned out to be a very straight guy. I realize I forgot to say that the father was at the beginning opposed to the marriage and was asking an outrageously high sinsod when the mother in law stepped in to to broker the deal .....

In a word . . . thieves.

Yes, that is an awful story and it looks like it was done so that if he divorced the house wasn't his wife's to split the finances. Mum sure new what she was up to and unfortunately so does the wife.

It's sure, it's all about a mother trying to protect her daughter best interests.

But when you compare to the way the other "local" son in law is treated, despite all the smiles and the welcomes, all this distrust, it really hurts.

Yes, to be honest it's probably best if he sees the light now, writes it all off and leaves. It's not real any of this.

[transam]

A friend of mine told me his story lately. He too was not comfortable with the sinsod idea, so a compromise was found. Before getting married he will buy the house where they will live with his wife to show his commitment to the relation, he will of course pay for the wedding and the enveloppes in the guest box will go to the family. It was fair and the wedding went ahead.The marriage was very nice in a top Bangkok hotel, the family had a good deal the enveloppes were worth a few hundred thousand bahts but as his wife explained, her parents had paid enveloppe for friends and relatives for years, they were just kind of getting their money back. Everything was fine.

Then last year two major things happen. The younger sister got married. they had a very nice engagement party where the sinsod was given. The groom who is not so wealthy had to borrow gold from his boss but everything was returned after the ceremony. The wedding took place in a nice place . Just before the end , the boxes were opened, from the amount collected the newly married couple paid the reception bills and kept the balance. The groom wasn't very rich so my friend didn't really mind that he had to pay everything and got noithing while his new brother in law ...

But the worst came a couple of month later. My friend and his wife had to fill some paper, insurance ... for some new investments they're doing when he realized the house has been put under the mother name. The wife told him it was just part of the original agreement but she didn't tell him because she was afraid he will get upset ... After they left the lawyer, my friend went back to work and went back home ... three days later !

He knows his wife feels terrible about the all story but she went along anyway ... He told me he's not so sure if their relation can survive his deep feeling to have been screwed. He can't see his mother in law anymore without feeling like spitting in her face.

He told me the worst is he has now the best relation in the world with his father in law who turned out to be a very straight guy. I realize I forgot to say that the father was at the beginning opposed to the marriage and was asking an outrageously high sinsod when the mother in law stepped in to to broker the deal .....

In a word . . . thieves.

Yes, that is an awful story and it looks like it was done so that if he divorced the house wasn't his wife's to split the finances. Mum sure new what she was up to and unfortunately so does the wife.

They did this to me but under my instruction. Wife was off with a real degenerate, house at risk because of gambling etc. MIL had rescued the deeds, I took them to the local land office to put in MIL's and kids' name. Out of harms way, kids have a nice safe home without the risk of loosing it. Stability.

What this blokes MIL was thinking was likely the house needs to be secured for the daughter. It's not all about the parents grabbing money for themselves but in my experience they are looking out for their own children and grand children, certainly the case here where this poor old goat worries about how her children will have an income later on, borrows from the bank, buys land, farms the hell out it and pays it off. They're in their thirties now!

He's still been done like a kipper though, as many of us are.

Agree, BUT the wife agreed or planned it behind hubbies back, not thinking of him for sure, if all goes tit's up, she grabs the lot via mum, to my way of thinking the wife's idea, knows the ins and outs. .

[MJP]

In a word . . . thieves.

Yes, that is an awful story and it looks like it was done so that if he divorced the house wasn't his wife's to split the finances. Mum sure new what she was up to and unfortunately so does the wife.

They did this to me but under my instruction. Wife was off with a real degenerate, house at risk because of gambling etc. MIL had rescued the deeds, I took them to the local land office to put in MIL's and kids' name. Out of harms way, kids have a nice safe home without the risk of loosing it. Stability.

What this blokes MIL was thinking was likely the house needs to be secured for the daughter. It's not all about the parents grabbing money for themselves but in my experience they are looking out for their own children and grand children, certainly the case here where this poor old goat worries about how her children will have an income later on, borrows from the bank, buys land, farms the hell out it and pays it off. They're in their thirties now!

He's still been done like a kipper though, as many of us are.

Agree, BUT the wife agreed or planned it behind hubbies back, not thinking of him for sure, if all goes tit's up, she grabs the lot via mum, to my way of thinking the wife's idea, knows the ins and outs. .

Oh I know, which is why I say it's best if this chap sees the light now before it's too late. Just cut losses and leave and learn from the experience and don't get caught up in all that nonsense with anyone else. Really is that simple.

People here in the village bang on to me about why I never took another 'wife'. Well how do I put this diplomatically . . . .

[sacdog]

I t seems i should say no, run or buy the family another house. Either way i'll always be an outsider never understanding whats going on. I just want to watch the super bowl in quiet. The NFL has rules, slow motion and replay.

[MJP]

I t seems i should say no, run or buy the family another house. Either way i'll always be an outsider never understanding whats going on. I just want to watch the super bowl in quiet. The NFL has rules, slow motion and replay.

No don't build any more houses. Please!

If it gets too much, which it likely will, just go and rent a condo with cable, get a 42" TV for around 20k, nip into Koncept furniture buy yourself a lazyboy recliner, get a beer fridge and a new toilet to stand next to the recliner.

There! Life is complete! Happiness!

[PNGinBKK]

ah let me throw my two pence in on this one!

Guess is Dad told Daughter he needed some easy cash; she, realizing he is a no hoper and apt to blowing it all on Mekon for him and his buddies, says no, but together they strike a deal.

She says she will ask for a Thai Wedding - they will split the envelope cash, he will ask for a stupid SinSod amount to pay for his gambling debts and cover his tab at the local shop, leaving him a little left over...

The gold will be kept in the local Pawn shop until they can think of another scam!!

In 2 years she will be off again to pick up the next aging farang to start the scheme again.

38 years old and asking for more than a Million Baht - I know some things get better with age, but Thai women don't!

Let me put this into context.

I moved to Thailand to be with a Thai girl that I met in the UK, she seemed legit, had a nice job, some cash behind her, so when it came to her coming home I sold my houseand came with a suitcase full of dreams and a nice healthy bank account.

Within a few days of arriving she started showing her true colours by asking for outrageous amounts of money here and there, acting all moody when I wouldn't buy her a THB 100k ring (not wedding or engagement, just something she liked) , not talking to me for days when I wouldn't buy her a THB 50,000 pair of earings, you know the type...

Anyway, after few weeks of this BS she hits me with a "my (jobless) brother is in trouble for gambling, can he borrow THB 60,000?" line.

My answer was a respounding no, saying i had met him once, thought he was a pr**k and that if I loaned him the cash :

a) I would never see it again

He would gamble that 60K instead of paying his bookie and be back to square one.

He took the news well (read : said he wanted to kill me!) then about a month later she asks for 60K again. This time so he can buy into a local car wash with his buddies.

Again my answer was no - see above reasons.

Again with the threats.

Well, lo and behold the rows grew and the fighting ensued till finally her old man called her asking for money from me, yes you guessed it he wanted sinsod to the value of THB 1m, plus gold to the tune of THB600k

Well, as luck would have it, she was an out of towner (Issan) and was due to visit her old man that weekend, so I waved her off at the bus station with some extra pocket money and said I would follow a few days later to seal the deal with the old boy.

As the bus pulled away I raced back to the apartment and packed my bags, sending her short but sweet sms to the note of "sorry, it isn't working, I am going back the uk" I threw my sim card away and set up home in the other side of town... never happier..

That was some 7 years ago now and I have never heard from that money grabbing witch or her family since... OP - follow my advice - move on now!!!!

[JurgenG]

I t seems i should say no, run or buy the family another house. Either way i'll always be an outsider never understanding whats going on. I just want to watch the super bowl in quiet. The NFL has rules, slow motion and replay.

No don't build any more houses. Please!

If it gets too much, which it likely will, just go and rent a condo with cable, get a 42" TV for around 20k, nip into Koncept furniture buy yourself a lazyboy recliner, get a beer fridge and a new toilet to stand next to the recliner.

There! Life is complete! Happiness!

It seems you read Non Sequitur comic books about life in paradise before Eve.

A big screen TV, a recliner seat, hot pizza and cold beer, and a dog, man's best friend. That was paradise.

Then Eve showed up...

PS : Could someone please help me. I tried to resize the picture so it would be easier to read but it always show up in this small format ???

Edited February 4, 2011 by JurgenG

[MJP]

ah let me throw my two pence in on this one!

Guess is Dad told Daughter he needed some easy cash; she, realizing he is a no hoper and apt to blowing it all on Mekon for him and his buddies, says no, but together they strike a deal.

She says she will ask for a Thai Wedding - they will split the envelope cash, he will ask for a stupid SinSod amount to pay for his gambling debts and cover his tab at the local shop, leaving him a little left over...

The gold will be kept in the local Pawn shop until they can think of another scam!!

In 2 years she will be off again to pick up the next aging farang to start the scheme again.

38 years old and asking for more than a Million Baht - I know some things get better with age, but Thai women don't!

Let me put this into context.

I moved to Thailand to be with a Thai girl that I met in the UK, she seemed legit, had a nice job, some cash behind her, so when it came to her coming home I sold my houseand came with a suitcase full of dreams and a nice healthy bank account.

Within a few days of arriving she started showing her true colours by asking for outrageous amounts of money here and there, acting all moody when I wouldn't buy her a THB 100k ring (not wedding or engagement, just something she liked) , not talking to me for days when I wouldn't buy her a THB 50,000 pair of earings, you know the type...

Anyway, after few weeks of this BS she hits me with a "my (jobless) brother is in trouble for gambling, can he borrow THB 60,000?" line.

My answer was a respounding no, saying i had met him once, thought he was a pr**k and that if I loaned him the cash :

a) I would never see it again

He would gamble that 60K instead of paying his bookie and be back to square one.

He took the news well (read : said he wanted to kill me!) then about a month later she asks for 60K again. This time so he can buy into a local car wash with his buddies.

Again my answer was no - see above reasons.

Again with the threats.

Well, lo and behold the rows grew and the fighting ensued till finally her old man called her asking for money from me, yes you guessed it he wanted sinsod to the value of THB 1m, plus gold to the tune of THB600k

Well, as luck would have it, she was an out of towner (Issan) and was due to visit her old man that weekend, so I waved her off at the bus station with some extra pocket money and said I would follow a few days later to seal the deal with the old boy.

As the bus pulled away I raced back to the apartment and packed my bags, sending her short but sweet sms to the note of "sorry, it isn't working, I am going back the uk" I threw my sim card away and set up home in the other side of town... never happier..

That was some 7 years ago now and I have never heard from that money grabbing witch or her family since... OP - follow my advice - move on now!!!!

Absolutely right. You did well to leg it.

There's a sub-culture in Thailand that sadly tars all Thais with the same brush in the eyes of falangs.

Without wanting to stereotype, I shall. Typically Issan, pretty much self-imposed poverty, shocking laziness, alcoholic father probably illiterate, gambling mother (she's trying to hit the big one so she can run, can't say I blame her), they usually have a son who thinks he's a big shot and goes through stunning amounts of money on all manner of vice. Throw 'face' in there, have to show off to neighbours, a complete lack of understanding of money and debt, always looking for instant gratification, no thoughts past tomorrow let alone 10 years time. Or even next week. Detest education, see no value in it.

They go from one self-imposed crisis to the next, never make any progress. They feel it's their right to live off falang and ironically consider us a lower life form. That I find the truly ignorant part.

This by the way was how a good Thai friend summed it all up to me.

This is NOT Thais in general. This is a sub-culture. One to be avoided. Know the signs, cut losses, forget about them.

Edited February 4, 2011 by MJP

[MJP]

I t seems i should say no, run or buy the family another house. Either way i'll always be an outsider never understanding whats going on. I just want to watch the super bowl in quiet. The NFL has rules, slow motion and replay.

No don't build any more houses. Please!

If it gets too much, which it likely will, just go and rent a condo with cable, get a 42" TV for around 20k, nip into Koncept furniture buy yourself a lazyboy recliner, get a beer fridge and a new toilet to stand next to the recliner.

There! Life is complete! Happiness!

It seems you read Non Sequitur comic books about life in paradise before Eve.

A big screen TV, a recliner seat, hot pizza and cold beer, and a dog, man's best friend. That was paradise.

Then Eve showed up...

Darn . . . I forgot the pizza bit. Recommend a decent large pizza oven, about 10k, find a local baker to make the bases.

There. All done!

[lannarebirth]

A friend of mine told me his story lately. He too was not comfortable with the sinsod idea, so a compromise was found. Before getting married he will buy the house where they will live with his wife to show his commitment to the relation, he will of course pay for the wedding and the enveloppes in the guest box will go to the family. It was fair and the wedding went ahead.The marriage was very nice in a top Bangkok hotel, the family had a good deal the enveloppes were worth a few hundred thousand bahts but as his wife explained, her parents had paid enveloppe for friends and relatives for years, they were just kind of getting their money back. Everything was fine.

Then last year two major things happen. The younger sister got married. they had a very nice engagement party where the sinsod was given. The groom who is not so wealthy had to borrow gold from his boss but everything was returned after the ceremony. The wedding took place in a nice place . Just before the end , the boxes were opened, from the amount collected the newly married couple paid the reception bills and kept the balance. The groom wasn't very rich so my friend didn't really mind that he had to pay everything and got noithing while his new brother in law ...

But the worst came a couple of month later. My friend and his wife had to fill some paper, insurance ... for some new investments they're doing when he realized the house has been put under the mother name. The wife told him it was just part of the original agreement but she didn't tell him because she was afraid he will get upset ... After they left the lawyer, my friend went back to work and went back home ... three days later !

He knows his wife feels terrible about the all story but she went along anyway ... He told me he's not so sure if their relation can survive his deep feeling to have been screwed. He can't see his mother in law anymore without feeling like spitting in her face.

He told me the worst is he has now the best relation in the world with his father in law who turned out to be a very straight guy. I realize I forgot to say that the father was at the beginning opposed to the marriage and was asking an outrageously high sinsod when the mother in law stepped in to to broker the deal .....

In a word . . . thieves.

Yes, that is an awful story and it looks like it was done so that if he divorced the house wasn't his wife's to split the finances. Mum sure new what she was up to and unfortunately so does the wife.

It's sure, it's all about a mother trying to protect her daughter best interests.

But when you compare to the way the other "local" son in law is treated, despite all the smiles and the welcomes, all this distrust, it really hurts.

You are certainly casting this thievery in its best possible light. The fact this was all done without the husband's knowledge makes it certain it is a con. If he's wealthy otherwise he should be out the door never to see any of these people again. If he's not, he should be consulting a lawyer and heading to court. It is marital property.

edit: I see he bought it prior to the wediing which would not make it marital property. Still if he can show the paper trail of his funds he should prevail in court. Life's not going to get better for him.

Edited February 4, 2011 by lannarebirth

[transam]

ah let me throw my two pence in on this one!

Guess is Dad told Daughter he needed some easy cash; she, realizing he is a no hoper and apt to blowing it all on Mekon for him and his buddies, says no, but together they strike a deal.

She says she will ask for a Thai Wedding - they will split the envelope cash, he will ask for a stupid SinSod amount to pay for his gambling debts and cover his tab at the local shop, leaving him a little left over...

The gold will be kept in the local Pawn shop until they can think of another scam!!

In 2 years she will be off again to pick up the next aging farang to start the scheme again.

38 years old and asking for more than a Million Baht - I know some things get better with age, but Thai women don't!

Let me put this into context.

I moved to Thailand to be with a Thai girl that I met in the UK, she seemed legit, had a nice job, some cash behind her, so when it came to her coming home I sold my houseand came with a suitcase full of dreams and a nice healthy bank account.

Within a few days of arriving she started showing her true colours by asking for outrageous amounts of money here and there, acting all moody when I wouldn't buy her a THB 100k ring (not wedding or engagement, just something she liked) , not talking to me for days when I wouldn't buy her a THB 50,000 pair of earings, you know the type...

Anyway, after few weeks of this BS she hits me with a "my (jobless) brother is in trouble for gambling, can he borrow THB 60,000?" line.

My answer was a respounding no, saying i had met him once, thought he was a pr**k and that if I loaned him the cash :

a) I would never see it again

He would gamble that 60K instead of paying his bookie and be back to square one.

He took the news well (read : said he wanted to kill me!) then about a month later she asks for 60K again. This time so he can buy into a local car wash with his buddies.

Again my answer was no - see above reasons.

Again with the threats.

Well, lo and behold the rows grew and the fighting ensued till finally her old man called her asking for money from me, yes you guessed it he wanted sinsod to the value of THB 1m, plus gold to the tune of THB600k

Well, as luck would have it, she was an out of towner (Issan) and was due to visit her old man that weekend, so I waved her off at the bus station with some extra pocket money and said I would follow a few days later to seal the deal with the old boy.

As the bus pulled away I raced back to the apartment and packed my bags, sending her short but sweet sms to the note of "sorry, it isn't working, I am going back the uk" I threw my sim card away and set up home in the other side of town... never happier..

That was some 7 years ago now and I have never heard from that money grabbing witch or her family since... OP - follow my advice - move on now!!!!

Absolutely right. You did well to leg it.

There's a sub-culture in Thailand that sadly tars all Thais with the same brush in the eyes of falangs.

Without wanting to stereotype, I shall. Typically Issan, pretty much self-imposed poverty, shocking laziness, alcoholic father probably illiterate, gambling mother (she's trying to hit the big one so she can run, can't say I blame her), they usually have a son who thinks he's a big shot and goes through stunning amounts of money on all manner of vice. Throw 'face' in there, have to show off to neighbours, a complete lack of understanding of money and debt, always looking for instant gratification, no thoughts past tomorrow let alone 10 years time. Or even next week. Detest education, see no value in it.

They go from one self-imposed crisis to the next, never make any progress. They feel it's their right to live off falang and ironically consider us a lower life form. That I find the truly ignorant part.

This by the way was how a good Thai friend summed it all up to me.

This is NOT Thais in general. This is a sub-culture. One to be avoided. Know the signs, cut losses, forget about them.

Blimey, thats strange, my thoughts and experiences virtually word for word.

[transam]

Yes, that is an awful story and it looks like it was done so that if he divorced the house wasn't his wife's to split the finances. Mum sure new what she was up to and unfortunately so does the wife.

It's sure, it's all about a mother trying to protect her daughter best interests.

But when you compare to the way the other "local" son in law is treated, despite all the smiles and the welcomes, all this distrust, it really hurts.

You are certainly casting this thievery in its best possible light. The fact this was all done without the husband's knowledge makes it certain it is a con. If he's wealthy otherwise he should be out the door never to see any of these people again. If he's not, he should be consulting a lawyer and heading to court. It is marital property.

edit: I see he bought it prior to the wediing which would not make it marital property. Still if he can show the paper trail of his funds he should prevail in court. Life's not going to get better for him.

Agree, if it were me l would be gutted, ooops, gutted, perhaps the outlaws next step.

[MJP]

ah let me throw my two pence in on this one!

Guess is Dad told Daughter he needed some easy cash; she, realizing he is a no hoper and apt to blowing it all on Mekon for him and his buddies, says no, but together they strike a deal.

She says she will ask for a Thai Wedding - they will split the envelope cash, he will ask for a stupid SinSod amount to pay for his gambling debts and cover his tab at the local shop, leaving him a little left over...

The gold will be kept in the local Pawn shop until they can think of another scam!!

In 2 years she will be off again to pick up the next aging farang to start the scheme again.

38 years old and asking for more than a Million Baht - I know some things get better with age, but Thai women don't!

Let me put this into context.

I moved to Thailand to be with a Thai girl that I met in the UK, she seemed legit, had a nice job, some cash behind her, so when it came to her coming home I sold my houseand came with a suitcase full of dreams and a nice healthy bank account.

Within a few days of arriving she started showing her true colours by asking for outrageous amounts of money here and there, acting all moody when I wouldn't buy her a THB 100k ring (not wedding or engagement, just something she liked) , not talking to me for days when I wouldn't buy her a THB 50,000 pair of earings, you know the type...

Anyway, after few weeks of this BS she hits me with a "my (jobless) brother is in trouble for gambling, can he borrow THB 60,000?" line.

My answer was a respounding no, saying i had met him once, thought he was a pr**k and that if I loaned him the cash :

a) I would never see it again

He would gamble that 60K instead of paying his bookie and be back to square one.

He took the news well (read : said he wanted to kill me!) then about a month later she asks for 60K again. This time so he can buy into a local car wash with his buddies.

Again my answer was no - see above reasons.

Again with the threats.

Well, lo and behold the rows grew and the fighting ensued till finally her old man called her asking for money from me, yes you guessed it he wanted sinsod to the value of THB 1m, plus gold to the tune of THB600k

Well, as luck would have it, she was an out of towner (Issan) and was due to visit her old man that weekend, so I waved her off at the bus station with some extra pocket money and said I would follow a few days later to seal the deal with the old boy.

As the bus pulled away I raced back to the apartment and packed my bags, sending her short but sweet sms to the note of "sorry, it isn't working, I am going back the uk" I threw my sim card away and set up home in the other side of town... never happier..

That was some 7 years ago now and I have never heard from that money grabbing witch or her family since... OP - follow my advice - move on now!!!!

Absolutely right. You did well to leg it.

There's a sub-culture in Thailand that sadly tars all Thais with the same brush in the eyes of falangs.

Without wanting to stereotype, I shall. Typically Issan, pretty much self-imposed poverty, shocking laziness, alcoholic father probably illiterate, gambling mother (she's trying to hit the big one so she can run, can't say I blame her), they usually have a son who thinks he's a big shot and goes through stunning amounts of money on all manner of vice. Throw 'face' in there, have to show off to neighbours, a complete lack of understanding of money and debt, always looking for instant gratification, no thoughts past tomorrow let alone 10 years time. Or even next week. Detest education, see no value in it.

They go from one self-imposed crisis to the next, never make any progress. They feel it's their right to live off falang and ironically consider us a lower life form. That I find the truly ignorant part.

This by the way was how a good Thai friend summed it all up to me.

This is NOT Thais in general. This is a sub-culture. One to be avoided. Know the signs, cut losses, forget about them.

Blimey, thats strange, my thoughts and experiences virtually word for word.

Yup. This is the experience for most westerners who get involved with this sub-culture.

Add to all that, anything you buy or build for them will be wrecked soon after. No servicing of vehicles, rarely is the house clean, electronics dropped . . .

My fear for the OP's friend is if he has a child with this woman. Because then he's trapped for a couple of decades. Not good. Not good at all.

[transam]

ah let me throw my two pence in on this one!

Guess is Dad told Daughter he needed some easy cash; she, realizing he is a no hoper and apt to blowing it all on Mekon for him and his buddies, says no, but together they strike a deal.

She says she will ask for a Thai Wedding - they will split the envelope cash, he will ask for a stupid SinSod amount to pay for his gambling debts and cover his tab at the local shop, leaving him a little left over...

The gold will be kept in the local Pawn shop until they can think of another scam!!

In 2 years she will be off again to pick up the next aging farang to start the scheme again.

38 years old and asking for more than a Million Baht - I know some things get better with age, but Thai women don't!

Let me put this into context.

I moved to Thailand to be with a Thai girl that I met in the UK, she seemed legit, had a nice job, some cash behind her, so when it came to her coming home I sold my houseand came with a suitcase full of dreams and a nice healthy bank account.

Within a few days of arriving she started showing her true colours by asking for outrageous amounts of money here and there, acting all moody when I wouldn't buy her a THB 100k ring (not wedding or engagement, just something she liked) , not talking to me for days when I wouldn't buy her a THB 50,000 pair of earings, you know the type...

Anyway, after few weeks of this BS she hits me with a "my (jobless) brother is in trouble for gambling, can he borrow THB 60,000?" line.

My answer was a respounding no, saying i had met him once, thought he was a pr**k and that if I loaned him the cash :

a) I would never see it again

He would gamble that 60K instead of paying his bookie and be back to square one.

He took the news well (read : said he wanted to kill me!) then about a month later she asks for 60K again. This time so he can buy into a local car wash with his buddies.

Again my answer was no - see above reasons.

Again with the threats.

Well, lo and behold the rows grew and the fighting ensued till finally her old man called her asking for money from me, yes you guessed it he wanted sinsod to the value of THB 1m, plus gold to the tune of THB600k

Well, as luck would have it, she was an out of towner (Issan) and was due to visit her old man that weekend, so I waved her off at the bus station with some extra pocket money and said I would follow a few days later to seal the deal with the old boy.

As the bus pulled away I raced back to the apartment and packed my bags, sending her short but sweet sms to the note of "sorry, it isn't working, I am going back the uk" I threw my sim card away and set up home in the other side of town... never happier..

That was some 7 years ago now and I have never heard from that money grabbing witch or her family since... OP - follow my advice - move on now!!!!

Absolutely right. You did well to leg it.

There's a sub-culture in Thailand that sadly tars all Thais with the same brush in the eyes of falangs.

Without wanting to stereotype, I shall. Typically Issan, pretty much self-imposed poverty, shocking laziness, alcoholic father probably illiterate, gambling mother (she's trying to hit the big one so she can run, can't say I blame her), they usually have a son who thinks he's a big shot and goes through stunning amounts of money on all manner of vice. Throw 'face' in there, have to show off to neighbours, a complete lack of understanding of money and debt, always looking for instant gratification, no thoughts past tomorrow let alone 10 years time. Or even next week. Detest education, see no value in it.

They go from one self-imposed crisis to the next, never make any progress. They feel it's their right to live off falang and ironically consider us a lower life form. That I find the truly ignorant part.

This by the way was how a good Thai friend summed it all up to me.

This is NOT Thais in general. This is a sub-culture. One to be avoided. Know the signs, cut losses, forget about them.

Blimey, thats strange, my thoughts and experiences virtually word for word.

Yup. This is the experience for most westerners who get involved with this sub-culture.

Add to all that, anything you buy or build for them will be wrecked soon after. No servicing of vehicles, rarely is the house clean, electronics dropped . . .

My fear for the OP's friend is if he has a child with this woman. Because then he's trapped for a couple of decades. Not good. Not good at all.

AND l have seen a kid used as a lever against us (for want of a better word) weak farangs. Sorry, the word was ' caring ' farangs.

[MJP]

Absolutely right. You did well to leg it.

There's a sub-culture in Thailand that sadly tars all Thais with the same brush in the eyes of falangs.

Without wanting to stereotype, I shall. Typically Issan, pretty much self-imposed poverty, shocking laziness, alcoholic father probably illiterate, gambling mother (she's trying to hit the big one so she can run, can't say I blame her), they usually have a son who thinks he's a big shot and goes through stunning amounts of money on all manner of vice. Throw 'face' in there, have to show off to neighbours, a complete lack of understanding of money and debt, always looking for instant gratification, no thoughts past tomorrow let alone 10 years time. Or even next week. Detest education, see no value in it.

They go from one self-imposed crisis to the next, never make any progress. They feel it's their right to live off falang and ironically consider us a lower life form. That I find the truly ignorant part.

This by the way was how a good Thai friend summed it all up to me.

This is NOT Thais in general. This is a sub-culture. One to be avoided. Know the signs, cut losses, forget about them.

Blimey, thats strange, my thoughts and experiences virtually word for word.

Yup. This is the experience for most westerners who get involved with this sub-culture.

Add to all that, anything you buy or build for them will be wrecked soon after. No servicing of vehicles, rarely is the house clean, electronics dropped . . .

My fear for the OP's friend is if he has a child with this woman. Because then he's trapped for a couple of decades. Not good. Not good at all.

AND l have seen a kid used as a lever against us (for want of a better word) weak farangs. Sorry, the word was ' caring ' farangs.

Yup. Anything to keep that gravy train steaming along.

Horror stories. Many of them.

[mca]

Reading TVF over the years it's heartwarming to see the respect that a number of Thai wives show their western husbands.

[transam]

Reading TVF over the years it's heartwarming to see the respect that a number of Thai wives show their western husbands.

Yep, make a good poll. BUT honesty must prevail, which it could as nobody knows who voted. Ripped off or Not Ripped off. Problem would be is that many will not know they are being ripped off.

[mca]

All I know is after meeting quite a few of these wives/gfs/significant other they must have the ability to suck an orange through a hosepipe because they appear to have no other redeeming qualities whatsoever.

[Moonrakers]

All I know is after meeting quite a few of these wives/gfs/significant other they must have the ability to suck an orange through a hosepipe because they appear to have no other redeeming qualities whatsoever.

They let their husbands have sex with them. That's a quality redeeming enough for some.