Sinsod Blues

[mca]

True. Though a hooker a few times a week must work out cheaper in the long run if your sole desire is to fill your boots.

[tmd5855]

OOPPSS

Double quote, sorry

Pom song satang

Edited February 4, 2011 by tmd5855

[tmd5855]

Blimey, thats strange, my thoughts and experiences virtually word for word.

Yup. This is the experience for most westerners who get involved with this sub-culture.

Add to all that, anything you buy or build for them will be wrecked soon after. No servicing of vehicles, rarely is the house clean, electronics dropped . . .

Not threadjacking but......

Yep, no servicing?

Fitted a new 2cyl diesel engine to my ex fathers small tractor. Told her to tell him about the running in period, do not go above 70% for a few days work and change oil and filter. Left oil and filter x 2 and marked the original. Went back 8 weeks later new engine was sounding rough, (Little oil) and original filter sill on?? Oil and filter I had left gone. Tried saying they had been used?

Ex wanted new wash machine for Mama, told her a twin tub top loader most suitable.

Bought an automatic. So mugsy here had to fit a pressurised water system, 8 weeks later pump I had fitted burned out.

Fit another with an indicator lamp showing pump running and needed to be switched off.

8 weeks later new pump burned out?? Where was lamp. "Needed it elsewhere"

Needless to say a third pump and second diesel engine were never purchased. Only person who I could trust was Dang, an extremely large but friendly dog.

Pom song satang

[elcondor]

well done PNGinBKK, I hope a lot of fools will learn from your story

[sacdog]

I'm thinking the answer to my question lays within the thai culture itself. If the custom for a thai man is to have more than one wife an several girlfriends on the side, then i will simply explain to my new father that i must share the wealth across the board. Laying all my eggs in one basket is not a good investment. Showing him i am always thinking of the future may help him love me more. Do thai's have guns or just sticks and rocks?

[cardholder]

I'm thinking the answer to my question lays within the thai culture itself. If the custom for a thai man is to have more than one wife an several girlfriends on the side, then i will simply explain to my new father that i must share the wealth across the board. Laying all my eggs in one basket is not a good investment. Showing him i am always thinking of the future may help him love me more. Do thai's have guns or just sticks and rocks?

Remind me again why you need to explain anything ?

"JUST SAY, NO !"

[MJP]

I'm thinking the answer to my question lays within the thai culture itself. If the custom for a thai man is to have more than one wife an several girlfriends on the side, then i will simply explain to my new father that i must share the wealth across the board. Laying all my eggs in one basket is not a good investment. Showing him i am always thinking of the future may help him love me more. Do thai's have guns or just sticks and rocks?

Guns.

Look, all you have to do is say peng mak mak mai mee satang.

I can understand a bloke having several motorbikes, but the multiple women thing always had me perplexed.

[ozzieovaseas]

I'm thinking the answer to my question lays within the thai culture itself. If the custom for a thai man is to have more than one wife an several girlfriends on the side, then i will simply explain to my new father that i must share the wealth across the board. Laying all my eggs in one basket is not a good investment. Showing him i am always thinking of the future may help him love me more. Do thai's have guns or just sticks and rocks?

Guns.

Look, all you have to do is say peng mak mak mai mee satang.

I can understand a bloke having several motorbikes, but the multiple women thing always had me perplexed.

You got that right..

Absolutley extra-ordinary i would say. Especially after reading about the <deleted> these guys get themselves into from just one woman..they would invite more trouble

[sacdog]

Why do i need a new toliet? Is there a sanatation issue there? I must be reading the wrong books.

[MJP]

Why do i need a new toliet? Is there a sanatation issue there? I must be reading the wrong books.

Ummmm . . . squatting . . . you get the idea.

[asdecas]

I have a wife who was a bar girl. Recently she has not been asking me for money. Should I be worried?

[JurgenG]

I have a wife who was a bar girl. Recently she has not been asking me for money. Should I be worried?

Have you been recently tested for gonorrhea ?

[Thaddeus]

I have a wife who was a bar girl. Recently she has not been asking me for money. Should I be worried?

If she hasn't got a job but still has money, quite possibly.

[gosompoi]

Okay my Thai wife and I got married first, before the Thai wedding. Same problem with her parents wanted more 1,000,000 baht, a new house and gold. My wife has the same level of employment and close to your wife's age. After a month of talking, which included a lot of crying on my wife's part we did settle on a different number. I will tell you I was not involved in any of the talks, just updated by my wife. From more than 1 million baht we settled with 200k in baht, 4 baht in gold and a new motorbike. We had our Thai wedding and my wife has the gold now, everything else went to pay for the wedding and her parents. In the end everyone was happy and no one complained. In Thai terms we saved face without excess greed. Years later, I have seen many Thai weddings which our final payment is the norm. Good luck.

[exbelg]

38 and never married before ???

2nd hand wife = 0 baht

she sends money to they every month = no need for this greedy bastard

let her pay the sin sod, she has a good job

[featography]

Okay my Thai wife and I got married first, before the Thai wedding. Same problem with her parents wanted more 1,000,000 baht, a new house and gold. My wife has the same level of employment and close to your wife's age. After a month of talking, which included a lot of crying on my wife's part we did settle on a different number. I will tell you I was not involved in any of the talks, just updated by my wife. From more than 1 million baht we settled with 200k in baht, 4 baht in gold and a new motorbike. We had our Thai wedding and my wife has the gold now, everything else went to pay for the wedding and her parents. In the end everyone was happy and no one complained. In Thai terms we saved face without excess greed. Years later, I have seen many Thai weddings which our final payment is the norm. Good luck.

That sounds more like Thai culture. I got creative in my sin sod, 5 yrs ago.. For a sin sod, I produced the paperwork showing my investments, stocks, life insurance, all listing her as beneficiary, as well as proof of retirement income. I did this already knowing the whole family were good people, and I wouldn't have to sleep every night with one eye open. Her uncle, a retired Army colonel, and the only other person in the family to speak English, read all the papers, and negotiated in behalf of her father, with a close friend of ours, also an English speaking Thai, negotiating in our behalf. I bought the gold rings, her bracelet and necklace, and the papers were displayed and past around at wedding, for all to see my worth. The donated moneys were given to dad, mother having passed away years prior. His daughter had never been married, and had no children. She was and is a business owner, so between our combined incomes, we as a team contribute to her family as we feel the need or want. They never ask for money, but ocassionally ask for loans, which they repay each time. Sin sod are negotiable, folks.

[yesdavy]

At the risk of getting back on topic, regarding the OP, tell the wife you are going to the FBI with extortion charges and she has two weeks to clear out. While you are at it, CC her university on the extortion charges and in the divorce settlement be sure to claim 50% of the community property she earned and did not share.

[bdenner]

Each case is different! In mine I paid out a bank loan the family had taken out for TW's father's medical bills after a bad car prang, he finished up dying anyway. 62,000 Baht to retrieve the chanoot which was placed on the plate at the traditional wedding. TW's mother had run off with her boy friend soon after the accident leaving TW to raise/support her siblings. At the wedding an old Aunt (a sister of the deceased who did not help the family at all with the medical bills) tried to get 40000 Baht out of me and was literally thrown out the door by TW. I did not build on the land until the chanoot was fully transferred into TW's 'married' (my) name.

[SiangDeeMahk]

All I know is after meeting quite a few of these wives/gfs/significant other they must have the ability to suck an orange through a hosepipe because they appear to have no other redeeming qualities whatsoever.

They would have used the anacronym LOSOWMHTATSAOTAH (land-of-signifigant-other-who-must-have-the-ability-to-suck-an-orange-through-a-hosepipe), but it didnt roll off the tounge easily... so they shortened it to LOS. :-p

[mark45y]

I have a wife who was a bar girl. Recently she has not been asking me for money. Should I be worried?

Have you been recently tested for gonorrhea ?

Jurgen you need some more experience. You know if you have gonorrhea. The test is my ***** hurts like a ************.

[philhal2]

I sincerely doubt that her parents dont already know ? A village wedding is way more acceptable and important to her and her family than some piece of paper to mark the event , its all about face . Ask the parents to return $X of the Sinsod , very often all will be returned by some parents . The bride price is often relevant to the families need to lift their status in the village . Returning some or all of the price is often irrelevant as the aim is to acheive a staus boost . The cash would be handy as well , but if they know that should they decide to keep the Sinsod or demand toooo much that there will " not be any future support or assistance ' reason usually prevails when greed is shown the door .

[philhal2]

I have a wife who was a bar girl. Recently she has not been asking me for money. Should I be worried?

No , PERHAPS TERRIFIED .

[crazyswede]

I have a wife who was a bar girl. Recently she has not been asking me for money. Should I be worried?

No not necessarily , found my Teerak in Nana 5 years back , never had such problems as she know im a poor fukcer living on a small pension and i try my best to take care of her and her kids , she knows and accept that !

Edited February 6, 2011 by crazyswede

[saroq]

The top ceiling price should be THB200,000, maybe a little more if she's from a very good family. However, if they're poor definitely no more than the 200,000 and the wedding costs have to come out of it. As for the gold tell him to get real, it's not happening. I can't believe that your wife hasn't told them that you're married. I smell a very very big rat.

[samjaidee]

What's the 10 baht gold for?

I totally agree, you are already married, and the Thai wedding is only a formality, to please your wife.:jap:

This is a request not from your wife, but from her father! This is total greed and just ignore it! Your wife, you said was already giving them money. You are already married and I am assuming she was not the 18 year old virgin that he wants the money for for a custom from years ago!! This is just greed thinking you are a rich falang and wanting to take advantage of you. I personally had the same request but instead we have paid for many things for her family, parents and nieces and nephews. These type of parents you just have to let it go in one ear and out the other. One thing that many don't realize and that is that this is a request from her father or both mother and father to try and make a nieve falang pay so they can buy a new "whatever" Ignore this request! It is not your wifes request! It was asked of her to get You to give more money to them. Many naive falang's do this because they think it is customary but after she reached a certain age etc or has been married before and lived away from her parents home, this is just garbage! Forget his request and go on and use your money for your wife and your and kids. That father does not need to drain your finances for his leasure. You are not, I am assuming filthy rich and there is no reason to pay him anything. Ask your wife if her father requested this?

Of course she wants to help her parents but it sounds as though she has been all along. Or make arrangements to have the money and baht returned after the ceromony if it really is just a ceromony for show, but many of these types try to keep the money for themselves. This sin sod was never intended, as many think ,for the parents to keep and use as they please. It was supposed to be a measurement of security for your WIFE if something happens to you or a divorce so she can get another start. Not for the parents to buy a new pickup truck!!!....don't do it!.............I paid many things but never gave any sin sod and in this day and age the only ones that do this are the naive falang's that are trying to do what they THINK is customary.

Let him buy his own liquor or whatever. Your hard earned money needs to go to your emediate family. I suspect somehwere down the line, a family member needs som cash to pay for something. This is a way to get it and distribute it to neices and nephews etc. I can't tell you how many times I have had money disapear with so many reason's that I can't count. If you give that, then they will have another reason soon again. It seems , in my experience many parents use thier daughters as a money making machine without reguard for any problems it may cause to you and your wife. They all think we are rich and no amount of talking will convince them you are not. They think you should give your money to them because you have it and they don't!!...simple as that!....don't be stupid. Your wife has already been paying for them you said!...so what's with that??...greed, pure and simple!!....you both are adults now.....so are her parents!!!....ignore it!!

There is, in Thai culture a great amount of pressure put on thai daughters to get money from especially a falang husband. A thai husband would never pay that amount unless they are in the upper status arena, and only if she was never married and you are the first to take her away. And is is to show off etc. If her parents are truly good hearted people they wouldn't try this on you. I am thinking her parents are from central or norheast area of Thailand. They should be satified thier daughter is happy and being taken care of good and they are getting money help every month already. One thing many should learn and that is never let the parents know how much money you have because this will determine how much they want from you. For gods sake, they already are getting money!!!!!....live at least 2-6 hrs away from them also, if you don't want to be always hit up with some imaginary reason, emergency money need!....I am called stinky ifI don't give them when they want, and never has the money I HAVE spent on them been appreciated. It's never ending if you don't end it.

The gold is for show too(and to keep) if you let them!....isn't that nice! they show off with YOUR money!!.it's your wifes money, not for the parents to use!!....keep it and save for you and your family's future. This erks me that this happens so often to falang's....greedy Thai parents..ughhh...and do they care if it makes a riff for you and your wife?....no!...as long as they get the cash!....because you have a money tree that never ends, they think!.........

Why does someone who doesn't understand basic English grammar and spelling write such a long diatribe?

[newtronbom]

I pretty much go with the comment made by "Thaicbr". She is way past the normal eligible marring age - 16 to 25 - though definitely not past her use by date as I'm sure you know. Having said that, it is a tradition here, that the groom or his family, make some form of payment to the new brides parents etc. The amount to pay, is very difficult for a non Thai to work out. Two of my daughters friends had 50,000 bht each paid to their families by their Thai husbands. They lived in the provinces and were in their early 20s. My wife told me that was considered very good. If the girl is really pretty, comes from a good family and is actually loved by the groom, 200,000 bht is not out of the normal, especially if the groom wants to give face to his wife and her family. Here in Bangkok, the price is not much more, unless she comes from a well known rich family (no westerner will get near her) then the sky is the limit. When I married my dream lady (her 2nd marriage) a couple of friends said I should pay her mother something(father passed away). When I asked my wife's brother, he said it was not necessary as it was the 2nd marriage and she was then 37, but if I wanted to give something and could afford it, buy mother a 7000 or 8000 bht chain for good face and feeling. All were happy with that. We got married in a church in Sukumvit Soi 2. Your lady is well educated, which may have cost the family quite a bit (that could be a reason for the high demand, if its not an outright ripoff) but we all try for the sky at first, but come down to earth after some bargaining. If she means a lot to you, 300,000 to 500,000 bht in cash, or the same amount combined with gold is not unreasonable. She has a job too and has been supporting her family for how long? At least 10 years if she is 38. Very bad form and face if you don't pay something, or too little, but she is a good catch by any means so it comes down to what you can afford and just how much you value/love her. I don't think over the 500,000 bht is necessary though, in all honesty. You are the only one who can put a price on your feelings after reading all these posts. Good luck.

[Derifo]

Don't pay anything.

[Moonrakers]

I once had a member of my wife's family ask me for a million baht sin-sod once, my wife and I had already been married for a couple of years at the time. My wife's father died when she was young and her mother died not long before we were married, this chappy thought he'd stake a claim to a sizeable chunk of my hard earned in their place. The guy asking for the money was some kind of uncle or something, not a close member of the family at all.

The guy was genuinely serious, he expected me to hand over that money to a compete stranger. For the few moments that I managed to compose myself and stifle the laughter I could see the he had a genuine look of bemusement on his face that I wouldn't give him the reddies.

Mrs. 'Rakers didn't see the funny side of it and by the time she had finished with him, he wouldn't dare ask for a single satang. That was the first time I met him, and the last.

[transam]

I bought the MIL a nice gold chain and Buddha. She showed it off to all the village then sold it via another daughter and they split the money.

[saraburioz]

My wife was 29, educated and divorced when I married her. Several years ago.

Paid 200,000 sin sot plus 3 baht gold.

The gold was returned to us later, we kept all the money in the envelopes and were given 1 rai of land to build a house. We definitely came out top.

Giving of gold is traditional here.

1,250,000 is WAY over the top.

What do you mean "educated"? Local Temple school, Oxford? Mattyom 6 or PhD?

I agree gold is traditional but make sure you get it back.

I showed a check for 2 million baht + a lot of gold and got all of it back the same day. I got a good deal - we got a 5,000 rai of cheap land in Isarn as a wedding present.

As for the OP - divorced woman - only the real mugs give sinsot to women who are over 30 , divorced, or have kids.