Sinsod Blues

[mca]

I bought the MIL a nice gold chain and Buddha. She showed it off to all the village then sold it via another daughter and they split the money.

Sorry mate. I've got a mental image of your MIL leading the Lord Buddha round the village as the locals prostrate themselves before him before selling the poor old bugger off.

[JurgenG]

I have a wife who was a bar girl. Recently she has not been asking me for money. Should I be worried?

Have you been recently tested for gonorrhea ?

Jurgen you need some more experience. You know if you have gonorrhea. The test is my ***** hurts like a ************.

Sorry Mark, I've to admit, in this field I don't have much experience ....

[transam]

My wife was 29, educated and divorced when I married her. Several years ago.

Paid 200,000 sin sot plus 3 baht gold.

The gold was returned to us later, we kept all the money in the envelopes and were given 1 rai of land to build a house. We definitely came out top.

Giving of gold is traditional here.

1,250,000 is WAY over the top.

What do you mean "educated"? Local Temple school, Oxford? Mattyom 6 or PhD?

I agree gold is traditional but make sure you get it back.

I showed a check for 2 million baht + a lot of gold and got all of it back the same day. I got a good deal - we got a 5,000 rai of cheap land in Isarn as a wedding present.

As for the OP - divorced woman - only the real mugs give sinsot to women who are over 30 , divorced, or have kids.

It's been said here a thousand times that ma & pa get sod all for a divorced daughter. The farangs who cough up are mugs. Pay or not the daughter will get land, what ever from ma & pa regardless.

[MJP]

I have a wife who was a bar girl. Recently she has not been asking me for money. Should I be worried?

No , PERHAPS TERRIFIED .

Yeah, something definitely wrong here. Could it be she's become a normal human being with reasonable spending habits?

A rare case perhaps.

[maccaroni man]

All I know is after meeting quite a few of these wives/gfs/significant other they must have the ability to suck an orange through a hosepipe because they appear to have no other redeeming qualities whatsoever.

They would have used the anacronym LOSOWMHTATSAOTAH (land-of-signifigant-other-who-must-have-the-ability-to-suck-an-orange-through-a-hosepipe), but it didnt roll off the tounge easily... so they shortened it to LOS. :-p

[Latindancer]

[quote name='transam' timestamp='1296997005' post='4200890

It's been said here a thousand times that ma & pa get sod all for a divorced daughter. The farangs who cough up are mugs. Pay or not the daughter will get land, what ever from ma & pa regardless.

I have read here many times posters saying that Sin Sod is not due for previously married women. May I ask people their sources ? By what authority do they speak ? I know a lady who says that in her area (North of Udon Thani), parents ask for and keep Sin Sod. And she is a really decent person.....a government teacher. I have tried my absolute UTMOST to change her mind about Sin Sod, but she is adamant that I need to pay her father 40,000 + 10,000 for the small wedding.

I have pushed as hard and as far as I can, but everything will go pear-shaped if I refuse.

Again I ask : May I ask people their sources ? By what authority do they speak ? Anecdotal evidence ? History ? She says her father asked for and received SS for her sister's second marriage and that it happens in this area.

Edited February 8, 2011 by Latindancer

[mark45y]

I think by the volume of posts and number of opinions offered over many years Thai Visa is the expert of record concerning Sin Sot in Thailand.

[Soutpeel]

Again I ask : May I ask people their sources ? By what authority do they speak ?

Mrs Soutpeel told me.....so it must be true..

[mystwoodcol]

Again I ask : May I ask people their sources ? By what authority do they speak ?

Mrs Soutpeel told me.....so it must be true..

Good one top that Southpeel

[GarryP]

I have read here many times posters saying that Sin Sod is not due for previously married women. May I ask people their sources ? By what authority do they speak ? I know a lady who says that in her area (North of Udon Thani), parents ask for and keep Sin Sod. And she is a really decent person.....a government teacher. I have tried my absolute UTMOST to change her mind about Sin Sod, but she is adamant that I need to pay her father 40,000 + 10,000 for the small wedding.

I have pushed as hard and as far as I can, but everything will go pear-shaped if I refuse.

Again I ask : May I ask people their sources ? By what authority do they speak ? Anecdotal evidence ? History ? She says her father asked for and received SS for her sister's second marriage and that it happens in this area.

What you are talking about is not technically sinsod. My wife's nephew is being hit for a similar amount for his previously married girl friend. The amount is much less than would be asked for sinsod. She is from Roi-Et I believe and he is from Ubol. I am not in the picture whatsoever, so it is not a case of her parents thinking he has someone to bankroll him (he doesn't anyway). It is a normal Thai-Thai thing. They use a different term for it, which has slipped my mind, something like pluk kwan. So yes it is not unheard of for previously married folks and it is not just because you are farang. Thais also are paying, although I understand that it is not very common.

P.S. This is not something old, he visited her parents for the first time 3 weeks ago.

Edited February 8, 2011 by GarryP

[mystwoodcol]

I have read here many times posters saying that Sin Sod is not due for previously married women. May I ask people their sources ? By what authority do they speak ? I know a lady who says that in her area (North of Udon Thani), parents ask for and keep Sin Sod. And she is a really decent person.....a government teacher. I have tried my absolute UTMOST to change her mind about Sin Sod, but she is adamant that I need to pay her father 40,000 + 10,000 for the small wedding.

I have pushed as hard and as far as I can, but everything will go pear-shaped if I refuse.

Again I ask : May I ask people their sources ? By what authority do they speak ? Anecdotal evidence ? History ? She says her father asked for and received SS for her sister's second marriage and that it happens in this area.

What you are talking about is not technically sinsod. My wife's nephew is being hit for a similar amount for his previously married girl friend. The amount is much less than would be asked for sinsod. She is from Roi-Et I believe and he is from Ubol. I am not in the picture whatsoever, so it is not a case of her parents thinking he has someone to bankroll him (he doesn't anyway). It is a normal Thai-Thai thing. They use a different term for it, which has slipped my mind, something like pluk kwan. So yes it is not unheard of for previously married folks and it is not just because you are farang. Thais also are paying, although I understand that it is not very common.

P.S. This is not something old, he visited her parents for the first time 3 weeks ago.

Just because Thais do it to Thais still does not make it acceptable

[Genericnic]

A most interesting series of posts. It is a good thing I have no interest in finding a Thai (or any other flavor) wife. I would no more pay sinsod that I would accept a dowry. You can buy a cow but not love or affection.

David

[mark45y]

A most interesting series of posts. It is a good thing I have no interest in finding a Thai (or any other flavor) wife. I would no more pay sinsod that I would accept a dowry. You can buy a cow but not love or affection.

David

The terms love and affection have nothing to do with the terms wife and marriage. Just thought I would mention that. Wife and marriage are more in the areas of finance or law. Although a lot of men seem to have this thing about loving inanimate objects but it seems to me more of a mental defect.

[mstribling]

A most interesting series of posts. It is a good thing I have no interest in finding a Thai (or any other flavor) wife. I would no more pay sinsod that I would accept a dowry. You can buy a cow but not love or affection.

David

The terms love and affection have nothing to do with the terms wife and marriage. Just thought I would mention that. Wife and marriage are more in the areas of finance or law. Although a lot of men seem to have this thing about loving inanimate objects but it seems to me more of a mental defect.

I think this is one of the biggest problems in relationships here. Men are looking for "True love and romance" Women are looking for security.

I asked my wife once. "You love me?" she said, "Sure, you take care of me."

Simple.

BTW: Nearly every person in my wife's extended family that has been remarried has paid a sin sod. Albeit small amount but paid up all the same.

As it is none of my business, I didn't ask if it was returned. (Rule # 1: Mind your own business)

In the end. The 6 pages of ranting and raving on here are NOT going to change a thing. It will be your decision, and I am sure whatever is done. You will come out a winner.

Pay: Wife and family gain face. Not pay: You save some money.

Good luck.

[Latindancer]

Pay: Wife and family gain face. Not pay: You save some money.

The flip side is true as well......Not pay : they LOSE face, and resentment will be there.

As I said in my own case, I tried my UTMOST to get out of it but I was just offending my fiancee too much.......and we have never had problems before, interpersonally. She really is a very nice person: decent and kind.

I could see I was going to actually ruin our relationship, so I gave in. Total amount to pay : 50,000 baht. Relationship worth a lot more than that.

[mark45y]

Pay: Wife and family gain face. Not pay: You save some money.

The flip side is true as well......Not pay : they LOSE face, and resentment will be there.

As I said in my own case, I tried my UTMOST to get out of it but I was just offending my fiancee too much.......and we have never had problems before, interpersonally. She really is a very nice person: decent and kind.

I could see I was going to actually ruin our relationship, so I gave in. Total amount to pay : 50,000 baht. Relationship worth a lot more than that.

I agree with you 50,000 is not much and you have learned a valuable lesson. Marriage and a wife is a cash transaction. Here or in the West it doesn't make much difference except here they are a bit more honest and up front about it.

[mstribling]

Pay: Wife and family gain face. Not pay: You save some money.

The flip side is true as well......Not pay : they LOSE face, and resentment will be there.

As I said in my own case, I tried my UTMOST to get out of it but I was just offending my fiancee too much.......and we have never had problems before, interpersonally. She really is a very nice person: decent and kind.

I could see I was going to actually ruin our relationship, so I gave in. Total amount to pay : 50,000 baht. Relationship worth a lot more than that.

I agree with you 50,000 is not much and you have learned a valuable lesson. Marriage and a wife is a cash transaction. Here or in the West it doesn't make much difference except here they are a bit more honest and up front about it.

I'm with you. I paid 60K and was easy money spent. Made my wife feel good. Made my life easy. Thats why I earned that money, so I could use it for leverage to make my life more enjoyable.

It's funny you talk about "honest and up front" Whenever I say that, I hear people shitting themselves.

I am baffled by the adult men dreaming of love in Asia. Outside of "Whiteworld" security (money) is the only thing that matters, regardless if your in Thailand, Tijuana, or Tanzania.

[transam]

Pay: Wife and family gain face. Not pay: You save some money.

The flip side is true as well......Not pay : they LOSE face, and resentment will be there.

As I said in my own case, I tried my UTMOST to get out of it but I was just offending my fiancee too much.......and we have never had problems before, interpersonally. She really is a very nice person: decent and kind.

I could see I was going to actually ruin our relationship, so I gave in. Total amount to pay : 50,000 baht. Relationship worth a lot more than that.

Think that says it all, that is, handing over money is more important than a hand shake and/or that their daughter is now being taken care of.

[mca]

I am baffled by the adult men dreaming of love in Asia. Outside of "Whiteworld" security (money) is the only thing that matters, regardless if your in Thailand, Tijuana, or Tanzania.

Mostly because for some reason a large percentage of westerners marrying Thais seem to select a partner where both the partner and their family have got sweet FA.

[Latindancer]

Mostly because for some reason a large percentage of westerners marrying Thais seem to select a partner where both the partner and their family have got sweet FA.

Hmmm.....there are often reasons for this. For instance my fiancee grew up on a farm, so she has the heart of a child, which is truly a great thing. She is the most genuinely sweet and transparent girl I have met in 6 years of Asian life. She even managed to be married (Buddhist ceremony only) and separated ( he cheated ), without being embittered.

But she had brains enough to go to Uni, get a degree (with the help of a government loan), and become a high school teacher.

So I get the best of both worlds.

Edited February 8, 2011 by Latindancer

[mca]

Respect to her for that sure

Edited February 8, 2011 by mca

[IanForbes]

Pay: Wife and family gain face. Not pay: You save some money.

The flip side is true as well......Not pay : they LOSE face, and resentment will be there.

As I said in my own case, I tried my UTMOST to get out of it but I was just offending my fiancee too much.......and we have never had problems before, interpersonally. She really is a very nice person: decent and kind.

I could see I was going to actually ruin our relationship, so I gave in. Total amount to pay : 50,000 baht. Relationship worth a lot more than that.

I agree with you 50,000 is not much and you have learned a valuable lesson. Marriage and a wife is a cash transaction. Here or in the West it doesn't make much difference except here they are a bit more honest and up front about it.

Bingo! It STILL comes down to value for your money. If it pleases you to help the family and gain a little respect into the bargain then it's all been worth it. Forget the initial outlay if you can afford it. I support a Thai family to the tune of 6000 baht a month, and have done so for 7 years. I have no interest in the woman at all, but I do it because I love the two younger children and they love me. I only see them for a few days a year when I take them on a holiday and buy them clothes and stuff. If it wasn't for the children I would have never done any of it. I feel I get value for my money by helping others who need it more than me.

[MJP]

Pay: Wife and family gain face. Not pay: You save some money.

The flip side is true as well......Not pay : they LOSE face, and resentment will be there.

As I said in my own case, I tried my UTMOST to get out of it but I was just offending my fiancee too much.......and we have never had problems before, interpersonally. She really is a very nice person: decent and kind.

I could see I was going to actually ruin our relationship, so I gave in. Total amount to pay : 50,000 baht. Relationship worth a lot more than that.

I agree with you 50,000 is not much and you have learned a valuable lesson. Marriage and a wife is a cash transaction. Here or in the West it doesn't make much difference except here they are a bit more honest and up front about it.

Bingo! It STILL comes down to value for your money. If it pleases you to help the family and gain a little respect into the bargain then it's all been worth it. Forget the initial outlay if you can afford it. I support a Thai family to the tune of 6000 baht a month, and have done so for 7 years. I have no interest in the woman at all, but I do it because I love the two younger children and they love me. I only see them for a few days a year when I take them on a holiday and buy them clothes and stuff. If it wasn't for the children I would have never done any of it. I feel I get value for my money by helping others who need it more than me.

Get this. British bloke turns up in the village last month, marries a BG, not a pretty one but not a bad person. Now it's going round the village that he paid 4 million in sin sot, which is likely BS but I shall investigate.

Mother-in-law is now 'offish' with me, even though her daughter left me some four years ago, they told me two years later she'd been off with a Thai bloke and yet I still stay here to provide for two kids that aren't mine (I support the Thai blokes kid he had with my 'wife') and still support the whole shabang. They've had land, houses the lot. Simply can't let the kids down, only reason I stayed on.

I mean these people are proper w$nkers.

Four million baht is putting a silk hat on a pig, putting lipstick on it and feeding it caviar . . . all at the same time. That money, if true, will be blown to the four winds inside two years, likely have nothing to show for it.

Only thing I can say about these hillbilly types is KEEP AWAY - DON'T FEED THE ANIMALS.

[jayjayjayjay]

I apologise, this is my first post and i didnt know how to physically respond. I appreciate all responses even thoose a bit off. My hair is not green and i dont have meth eyes, im not a troll. this is her first marriage and she is a good wife, mother to my children and daughter. My wife and i are crazy and we did disrespect her family. i was just looking for help with how to negotiate and save face for everyone.

Sorry don't believe you. Wifey at 38 and first marriage mean nought. She is a goody wifey and goody mother...... Why the family would not have known she was not married. Rubbish..... troll. And if not, tell them you are paying nothing. Simple. No negotiations, just not paying. What is the option? They take her back Hah! Yeah, for sure!

[surayu]

I support a Thai family to the tune of 6000 baht a month, and have done so for 7 years. I have no interest in the woman at all, but I do it because I love the two younger children and they love me. I only see them for a few days a year when I take them on a holiday and buy them clothes and stuff. If it wasn't for the children I would have never done any of it. I feel I get value for my money by helping others who need it more than me.

I personally know a young thai lady which got a regular economic support from at least 3 different guys on a regular basis (2 americans and 1 japanese), the more generous is the guy from Kentucky which send her in the range of 30-40.000 bahts every single months, plus send gifts (laptops, cameras, toys...) and pay for both kids international schools on top of it, despite all that cash coming in, the mother manage to spend every single satangs every single month, they buy any sort of stuff which almost without remedy end up broken or just trown to the bin anyway, they "play" the part of the innocent angels following "daddy" instructions, but as soon as the phone calls are over they are back on their life of deceivements, the 2 kids are not much "kids" anymore (almost 18 and 16 y.o), none of these guys know of the existence of the others.

I am not saying by any means that this is your situation, pleanty of people that really needs some helps in Thailand, however, never lower your guard....

[sacdog]

I've been reading all the posts and across the board i understand i cant read the thai language but I do know how to play poker. My wife told me her father dose not need money, hes a nice man, and we'll be getting lots of land. I would rather have the Brooklin Bridge or the Windsor Gates. What are my kids goimg to do with thai- land? They are american. The cost to sell this land (flights, lawers,taxes, getting sold short) is i' sure more of a headache then profit. I have no problem visiting but to see land, dirt. There also seems to be an outstanding college debt she still owes. I thought thai massages were a good thing.

[MJP]

I've been reading all the posts and across the board i understand i cant read the thai language but I do know how to play poker. My wife told me her father dose not need money, hes a nice man, and we'll be getting lots of land. I would rather have the Brooklin Bridge or the Windsor Gates. What are my kids goimg to do with thai- land? They are american. The cost to sell this land (flights, lawers,taxes, getting sold short) is i' sure more of a headache then profit. I have no problem visiting but to see land, dirt. There also seems to be an outstanding college debt she still owes. I thought thai massages were a good thing.

What sort of land, where and how much of it?

Done right (fertilizer, weeding) with a bit of luck (mainly regards the weather) land can produce a fairly good income. A Thai friend has 4000 Baht a day coming off 1500 rubber trees. They produce for 25-30 years after 8 years growth. It's not a bad pension scheme, certainly better than Western con-artist financial institutions can offer. That's just one plot, I think all told he'll soon have 20,000+ trees producing. Growing potato in between the rows of trees also provides regular income.

Some of the poor looking people up here are quite seriously wealthy. The family I refer to has $160,000 worth of cars, never seem to sell the old ones (3 years old!), now looking at a 3,000,000 Baht Toyota people carrier thing. I think they're just bored and don't know what to do with all the cash.

[WarpSpeed]

Is this a bite........... Are you having a laugh? Tell the old fart to sling his hook, give him bugger all. You have a bigger responsibility...............YOUR family.

Maybe, if you’re very lucky......the old man will let you take the place as the family buffalo on your days of work.

Get a grip man, don’t swallow this bull!

Got to be a troll and a poor one too, 4 out of 10... Besides it sounds more like the new wife has been talking since being back in the states and they think you're rolling it now in comparison so trying to scam, but sinsods are a consideration and negotiated prior to getting married not 2 years later and at 38 she's well past her shelf life for sinsod I'd think...

[WarpSpeed]

I've been reading all the posts and across the board i understand i cant read the thai language but I do know how to play poker. My wife told me her father dose not need money, hes a nice man, and we'll be getting lots of land. I would rather have the Brooklin Bridge or the Windsor Gates. What are my kids goimg to do with thai- land? They are american. The cost to sell this land (flights, lawers,taxes, getting sold short) is i' sure more of a headache then profit. I have no problem visiting but to see land, dirt. There also seems to be an outstanding college debt she still owes. I thought thai massages were a good thing.

Here I fixed it for ya... "She'll be getting lots of land" and your sinsod if you pay it.........

[WarpSpeed]

I've been reading all the posts and across the board i understand i cant read the thai language but I do know how to play poker. My wife told me her father dose not need money, hes a nice man, and we'll be getting lots of land. I would rather have the Brooklin Bridge or the Windsor Gates. What are my kids goimg to do with thai- land? They are american. The cost to sell this land (flights, lawers,taxes, getting sold short) is i' sure more of a headache then profit. I have no problem visiting but to see land, dirt. There also seems to be an outstanding college debt she still owes. I thought thai massages were a good thing.

What sort of land, where and how much of it?

Done right (fertilizer, weeding) with a bit of luck (mainly regards the weather) land can produce a fairly good income. A Thai friend has 4000 Baht a day coming off 1500 rubber trees. They produce for 25-30 years after 8 years growth. It's not a bad pension scheme, certainly better than Western con-artist financial institutions can offer. That's just one plot, I think all told he'll soon have 20,000+ trees producing. Growing potato in between the rows of trees also provides regular income.

Some of the poor looking people up here are quite seriously wealthy. The family I refer to has $160,000 worth of cars, never seem to sell the old ones (3 years old!), now looking at a 3,000,000 Baht Toyota people carrier thing. I think they're just bored and don't know what to do with all the cash.

Don't know what to do with all the cash?? That's not boredom it's uneducated idiocy ...