Knife And Axe....

[sbk]

You seem to have a genuine deathwish. She is mentally instable and needs help with anger management.

I dont know what you get out of a relationship where behaviour like that is considered normal. If you stick to her, I won't be surprised if you soon become another statistic in the News Section.

Make a new plan, Stan.

BTW, the words for 'stupid'  โง่ or  งี่เง่า  are rather strong insults in Thai. Even saying 'How stupid of me' is something a Thai would not normally do. When joking with close friends, you *might* use these words, but if you use them with a serious face, they constitute fight talk.

This is probably part of the 'rice bowl' reaction.

Meadish, even in English telling your wife "don't be stupid" would be cause for an argument.

As for tbi's love affair with a violent woman, well, his choice. It does seem that she gets violently upset over small things. I have seen quite a few Thais (women & men) get violently upset but usually it is not such a small thing as being unreachable by phone when she knows where you are. The most memorable one was the guy who was out on a 3 day drunk, came crawling back home with a friend and she proceeded to give him a whap upside the head. Or another guy who came home after a major bender and his wife hit him on the head with an old fashioned iron (the kind with coals in it). Both of these couples are still married and neither one has a violent relationship, just a wife pushed too far and responding in a violent way. A woman (or man) who overreacts in such a dramatic manner over such a small thing is someone to be very wary of indeed. You could never really know what will set them off to do something more permanent the next time.

[mrbojangles]

BTW, the words for 'stupid'  โง่ or  งี่เง่า  are rather strong insults in Thai. Even saying 'How stupid of me' is something a Thai would not normally do. When joking with close friends, you *might* use these words, but if you use them with a serious face, they constitute fight talk.

This is probably part of the 'rice bowl' reaction.

Thanks for that Meadish. It's funny how we (Enlish native speakers) think this word means nothing and yet to someone else it means much more. Even after the "heat" had calmed down, i still couldn't understand her "Rice bowl" reaction

[Beachcomber]

Dump her double-double-double quick.

Trust me I know about this.

[Boo]

I use the word stupid often, not at people but inanimate objects, the tele is stupid cause the signal is gone, the stupid computor is hanging etc & wondered why hubby would go into a mini sulk or act funny towards me until one day he got angry & said, why do u always call me stupid. I was really taken back & denied it & said next time I do it, tell me ok. So he did & I was actually complaining about the bin bags being too thin to hold all the old magazines but as I was mumbling to myself, he could only make out "mumble muble stupid, mumble mumble" & thought it was abt him. Easily done, misunderstandings

[chownah]

Uncontrollable anger is mental illness...if it involves weapons then immediately get professional help.

[toyicebear]

Wooowww..this tread seems to have sparked some interest after all...

And to elaborate, she only overblows issues when there is alcohol involved....and in the 4 years we have been together she has not physicaly harmed me, except some strong love bites that is , but there have been some flying objects and some treatening sharp objects comming up during alcohol induced arguments....

To the post that says "Call me crazy..but i do prefer the "exitement" of a tsunami relationship in comparazing with a placid "fake" content one....."

Why is a good stable relationship with a sane women "fake"? It seems more fake saying your in a "loving relationship" with a women who threatens to kill you at the slightest whim.

In regards to this comment, i did not mean that a placid/content relationship is false but as they say still water runs deepest.

And repressed anger can just errupt like a vulcano some day.....

By the way..in reference to flying objects....in the last 3 months...2 mobiles have had to be replaced...

[Mr. Farang]

I use Mai Ow krap all the time no one has every been upset by it in fact most Thai I no use these words. Mind you I live in Isaan so it may be a posh Thai thing

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes, Rigger, some Thai people use it, but it is not considered the most elegant way of speaking :-) and when you are a Farang with an accent, and the situation is stressful, it is better not to use it.

Ty Mr falang, my thai is very poor, i'm am currently learning. I had no idea this could be construed as impolite, but now i know

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

In Thai, it is always considered polite to ask for something indirectly and to refuse something indirectly. You will have much more fun and much less stress in the Kingdom if you learn to speak "sweet" in every situation - even situations where, in the Western world, you would be forceful and direct. In Thai, using forceful words leads to "blow ups"..... as Thais (for the most part, it is cultural) are not like Westerners who speak directly and forcefully without a second thought (unless they are of lower class, poorly educated, or drinking alcohol, etc.)

I cannot think of any situation in Thailand where I would say "Mai Ow" knowing what I know now, first learning the Thai alphabet in 1987. I can say that, it was not too many years ago I used phrases like "Mai Ow" (Krap) and was told, at a minimum , for the "bare bones" politeness to say "Young Mai Ow Krap" ("Yang Mai Ow Krap").... which is softer and says, in effect, I don't want it "right now" but could want it in the future -) , which is considerably more polite than saying, directly "I do not want you!".... hence, I do not recommend you ever say "Mai Ow" (Krap) in any situation in Thailand.

Yes, of course, Thai people say it.. but that does not make it gentle or polite...... and in Thailand, when Farangs speak Thai, always error on the side of being polite and you will find your days and nights in Thailand very fun.... and stress free. I have been in all 72 Thai "jang wats", over many years, in Thailand - and have never had a problem when speaking polite in all situations.

Once, I was coming out of a seedy Bangkok street late at night --- a Thai man, who was very drunk, came to up to me and, very angry, told me he was going to kill me. His fists were tight, his jaw tight, and he was "dead" serious. I told him politely that I understand, go ahead, as I had a bad night and could not find a girl, so I'm tired of life too. He said, to the effect "be serious" "let's fight!" and I replied, to the effect, politely in Thai, that he could beat me if he wanted, it that would make him feel better..... then he started to cry and told me a sad story about his girlfriend who works in a bar and a Farang, and how his heart was broken. I gave the guy and big hug and offered to pay his taxi fare home. He said thanks and refused. (He offerred to take me drinking - I politely declined.)

Everywhere in my life, the situation is the always the same..... hence, I never say "Mai Ow"... to anyone about anythiing........ I try to think of somethiing "sweet" that refuses the offer but says it in a creative way that makes Thai people think "Wow, how polite is that Farang! He is different than the others or what I have heard from my friends about these Farangs!.... "

PS: I would stop immediately dating any woman who every approached me with a weapon at any time, on any occasion. My advise: Do not permit yourself to be in violent, abusive "controlling" relationship with anyone... and never use violence or verbal abuse to control others (this creates bad kamma).

Edited September 10, 2005 by Mr. Farang

[Nam Kao]

Got Kevlar?

[thaibebop]

Well, neigheter of us is the trusting kind...but even so we would not dream of changing life partners....

Good or bad, we are married for life.....

And to expand..we are both in the middle 30's and have had a kind of wild life in the past...and we both know atleast 90% of eachothers past...which does not count positive in any way...    

I would leave, fast. However, I also refuse to discuss past anything with my wife. That is a huge mistake! People always judge current events on past ones, never discuss certain parts of anyones past.

And before someone askes...she is considered beautiful and i am considered quite hansome by most  standards.....    

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[toyicebear]

A little follow-up.....

Some time have passed, and i did actually take up on the advice to "Run away as fast as you can".

I can see now that my attitude and responses was promted by denial and by trying to validate/defend my situation/relationship at that time (More so to myself than to anyone else).

Thanks to all for the advice and point of views given.

[TRIPxCORE]

A little follow-up.....

Some time have passed, and i did actually take up on the advice to "Run away as fast as you can".

I can see now that my attitude and responses was promted by denial and by trying to validate/defend my situation/relationship at that time (More so to myself than to anyone else).

Thanks to all for the advice and point of views given.

Good for you man!

[Couthy]

When you get a loony - change address, phone number ect.

Don't tell any farang friends where you are going.

Like...........vanish.

I speak from experience: Many years a go I got a loony, she was a card sharp with a plain clothes cop brother. (He was a great guy by the way).

Extremely kind woman to those in need and very compassionate, but what a bloody temper - all rational would fly out the window sometimes.

She had me in cop shops all the time. Eventually the cops got bored with her and told her to wind her neck in.

I think they were impressed by the scars on my neck........

One even suggested to me that why did I not give her a bloody good kicking?.

Domestic bliss in LOS.

So, one day, when she was at a card game I packed her stuff, changed the lock into a thing that would chain a tank and took off for work far away for a few days.

Got back and she's got a guy on a motorbike with a GUN waiting for me. Wow, these people have patience!.

Suffice to say - he got three years and she got two months.

And was actually banned from being in that area for the next five years which I thought was a nice touch. -At home I have copies of the Docs.

However, to balance the argument, I once had a red haired Scottish girlfriend whose family would never tell anyone their family name and they were seriously mad people.

Add alcohol and wait for the violence. Severe violence.

Took me a court order to get rid of her as well.

But as one grows older, one wonders in a straight cat fight who would have won?.

Nid or Liz?.

My money on Nid: Thai women are tough. They are also resiliant.

Thanks be for being older, can do that stuff no' mo'!.

Cheers,

Couthy.

[roguegirl]

When you get a loony - change address, phone number ect.

Don't tell any farang friends where you are going.

Like...........vanish.

I speak from experience: Many years a go I got a loony, she was a card sharp with a plain clothes cop brother. (He was a great guy by the way).

Extremely kind woman to those in need and very compassionate, but what a bloody temper - all rational would fly out the window sometimes.

She had me in cop shops all the time. Eventually the cops got bored with her and told her to wind her neck in.

I think they were impressed by the scars on my neck........

One even suggested to me that why did I not give her a bloody good kicking?.

Domestic bliss in LOS.

So, one day, when she was at a card game I packed her stuff, changed the lock into a thing that would chain a tank and took off for work far away for a few days.

Got back and she's got a guy on a motorbike with a GUN waiting for me. Wow, these people have patience!.

Suffice to say - he got three years and she got two months.

And was actually banned from being in that area for the next five years which I thought was a nice touch. -At home I have copies of the Docs.

However, to balance the argument, I once had a red haired Scottish girlfriend whose family would never tell anyone their family name and they were seriously mad people.

Add alcohol and wait for the violence. Severe violence.

Took me a court order to get rid of her as well.

But as one grows older, one wonders in a straight cat fight who would have won?.

Nid or Liz?.

My money on Nid: Thai women are tough. They are also resiliant.

Thanks be for being older, can do that stuff no' mo'!.

Cheers,

Couthy.

Geez...! YOu sure can attract those kind, ya?

[Head Snake]

That's an interesting read.

I, too, got rid of a someone who had grown with ma and pa fighting all the time. Well, the wife thought this was normal. Me, I was frightened shitless.

SHe vowed to make the divorce as painful as possible, threatening me the whole ride until she finally put ink to paper and signed her name to the divorce papers.

It was well worth the effort to get away from that type of person.

Now, I feel I must call my tgf and let her know how much I appreciate her.

[Galong]

Absolutely, positively, 100% sure get rid of her before you get hurt. If she's insane enough to put a weapon on you, then it's just a matter of time before you do something else that she doesn't like.

There are plenty of short-tempered Thais and I for one wouldn't give her a second chance. There are also plenty of calm-hearted Thais. Go find one of them... now!

Oh, and carry a knife with you wherever you go... just in case Ms Mentally Unstable follows you. Run Forest, run! :-)

[toptuan]

Good or bad, we are married for life.....

..and that life might've been very short indeed, had you not taken the advice to run for it....

[Berty]

Time to trade her in for a new model I'd say.