Getting Back Sinsod After Divorce

[richard_smith237]

The parents should return the sinsod back to you immediately after the marriage.

Anybody actually seen this happen ?

Yes

Out of 4 Western/Thai and the 6 Thai/Thai weddings I have been to I have only heard of one time were only half the sinsod was returned, and that was a Thai/Thai wedding. In all other circumstances all the sinsod was returned. These were weddings between guys and girls of relatively equal socio-economic measure and the girls families were by no means in need of the sinsod money.

We have digressed from the initial issue - In this case I doubt it could ever be expected to have the sinsod returned.

Edited May 8, 2011 by richard_smith237

[JurgenG]

To answer some objection, let me explain our reasoning. Our friend gave money (sinsod) to the parents of his wife to thanks them for raising such a nice woman and now that he was about to take her from them, he wanted to show his gratitude.

But unfortunately, her parents were not ready to let her go so easily. It was their incessant meddling in the couple business that eventually led to the divorce. If they weren't ready to let their daughter go, they shouldn't have accept the money at the first place and that's why they should give it back. After a few beers and a couple of bottle of wine, it makes perfectly sense.

But don't go later shouting "I want my money back" in front of the parents house, it doesn't go very well with the local law enforcement officers.

Edited May 8, 2011 by JurgenG

[jdinasia]

To answer some objection, let me explain our reasoning. Our friend gave money (sinsod) to the parents of his wife to thanks them for raising such a nice woman and now that he was about to take her from them, he wanted to show his gratitude.

But unfortunately, her parents were not ready to let her go so easily. It was their incessant meddling in the couple business that eventually led to the divorce. If they weren't ready to let their daughter go, they shouldn't have accept the money at the first place and that's why they should give it back. After a few beers and a couple of bottle of wine, it makes perfectly sense.

But don't go later shouting "I want my money back" in front of the parents house, it doesn't go very well with the local law enforcement officers.

You may be right ... if you are drunk enough and only seeing someone else's part of the failure of a marraige .... it might make sense.

[CNXpuuyaibaan]

If you can't afford to lose it - don't pay it. Your are paying for a wife - if it doesn't work then you will realise the foolishness of paying!

[lungdavid]

Pretty sure his chance is zero.

anything to do with Thais and money versus foreigner, YOU LOSE. not an ice cubes chance in hell

[jdinasia]

Pretty sure his chance is zero.

anything to do with Thais and money versus foreigner, YOU LOSE. not an ice cubes chance in hell

Not even close to true ... but in this case there simply isn't any reason for the return of the cash ....

[jimbeam1]

I know of two instances in Korat. With Thai on Thai marriages, where it would be extremely difficult to get sin-sod back. As the money was used before the weddings to build block walls under the houses, to make kitchens, eating areas and bathrooms.

I don't know but I would have thought that the only time that the money would be returned, Is if the brides family was wealthy enough not to need it?

jb1

[zzaa09]

My wife married a local guy when she was 18 years old. She did it for the money, to help her family. The sin sod was 40,000 baht.

And many years later, she discovered Farangs, a never ending stream of income, smart girl.

And a second lot of sin sod, no doubt.

I'm sure she married some young handsome Thai guy for the money and not love , then a few years later she married some wrinkly old Farang for love not money !

Gotta laugh sometimes.

And they are....laughing. Behind your back.

[CNXpuuyaibaan]

Pretty sure his chance is zero.

anything to do with Thais and money versus foreigner, YOU LOSE. not an ice cubes chance in hell

yes of course - thai rak thai

[Simbo]

thats given me the best laugh this week. Still chuckling now

[zzaa09]

Pretty sure his chance is zero.

anything to do with Thais and money versus foreigner, YOU LOSE. not an ice cubes chance in hell

yes of course - thai rak thai

...{and} mai mee rak Farang.:jap:

[ableguy]

I've always had the understanding this was exactly what the sinsod is for - a kind of replacement for the alimony wives would get in the west that they don't get here - so of course it won't be returned.

Exactly. It's so that if the man does a runner the wife isn't left homeless and broke.

Maybe if there was infidelity on the wife's part you might have an argument (although the Sinsod would probably still never be returned), but this doesn't seem to be the case here anyway.

Jeez ever tried to get money out of a Thai ? dream on

[zzaa09]

I've always had the understanding this was exactly what the sinsod is for - a kind of replacement for the alimony wives would get in the west that they don't get here - so of course it won't be returned.

Exactly. It's so that if the man does a runner the wife isn't left homeless and broke.

Maybe if there was infidelity on the wife's part you might have an argument (although the Sinsod would probably still never be returned), but this doesn't seem to be the case here anyway.

Jeez ever tried to get money out of a Thai ? dream on

I don't believe any of us has ever known of such an instance, as the OP is asking...

[swissie]

The thing that makes me laugh is that a lot of these girls have either been married before or had previous childrem, so you shouldn't be paying a single baht as a sin sot in the first place..

100 % correct. Under the above described circumstances, no Thai- Man would consider paying any sin-sod. Why should a Farang ? A Farang, considering marrying a Thai-Lady shoult take the time to familiarize himself with certain Thai-customs (beforehand.)

Cheers.

[Semper]

Pretty sure his chance is zero.

anything to do with Thais and money versus foreigner, YOU LOSE. not an ice cubes chance in hell

yes of course - thai rak thai

...{and} mai mee rak Farang.:jap:

...and Farang rak Thai.

[Richard4849]

Thai wives don't come with a money-back guarantee, as far as I am aware.

[maprao]

The thing that makes me laugh is that a lot of these girls have either been married before or had previous childrem, so you shouldn't be paying a single baht as a sin sot in the first place..

You got it in one! Married before with kids = 0 baht sin sod unless of course you are a silly sod

[Sing_Sling]

My wife married a local guy when she was 18 years old. She did it for the money, to help her family. The sin sod was 40,000 baht.

And many years later, she discovered Farangs, a never ending stream of income, smart girl.

I particularly like this part:

She ran away from him whenever he advanced towards her,

Edited May 10, 2011 by Sing_Sling

[Furbie]

The parents should return the sinsod back to you immediately after the marriage.

Anybody actually seen this happen ?

Yes

Out of 4 Western/Thai and the 6 Thai/Thai weddings I have been to I have only heard of one time were only half the sinsod was returned, and that was a Thai/Thai wedding. In all other circumstances all the sinsod was returned. These were weddings between guys and girls of relatively equal socio-economic measure and the girls families were by no means in need of the sinsod money.

We have digressed from the initial issue - In this case I doubt it could ever be expected to have the sinsod returned.

I can say with 100% certainty that my close personal friend who is western and married a Thai got back 100% of his “show me” sin sot. I know this because I had to take it and deposit it into his account the next day, as he was leaving town for his honeymoon and had no time to go to the bank - the family literally gave it back right after the reception. Actually, to be completely honest, the engagement ring was presented as part of the sin sod, but the bride got that.

[scorecard]

Just happened to a friend's son. After the marriage, he moved in with the wife's family (Isaan custom/culture). A month after the marriage, the mother-in-law wanted to ship him off to Dubai (solo) for work, but for some odd reason he wanted to stay longer with his new bride. The rancorous atmosphere got so bad, he split and went back to his parents. The marriage quickly dissolved. The 100,000B sinsod? Fughettaboudit!

Here's another example - a real story; hi-so family convince another hi-so family that their daughter is a good catch, grooms family are convinced, groom wants nothing of it but can't escape his parents wishes /demands. Almost zero courtship because bride always too busy.

Marriage proceeds, grooms parents pay massive sin-sod, large amount of valuable land, big new house, big money, big jewellery. Marriage lasts 7 days and groom throws her out, groom explains to his parents and they are shocked, they ask for return of all or part of sin-sod. Nothing returned.

Now the bride; she had been married before in US (to a farang) after completing her studies, marriage lasted similar time and groom threw her out. None of this was known to the Thai groom or his parents.

Bottom line, most selfish woman ever to walk on this earth, seriously manipulating to get her own way, no compromise on anything, also very demanding of all around her.

In fact I worked with the bride for about two years, she was in a managerial position, she left a trail of destruction wherever she went, unbelievably rude to and unbelievably demanding of her same level colleagues. Evil to employees under her, both verbally and continuous seriously abusive e.mails. Massive turn-over of junior staff and some senior staff. Company lost numerous important customers. Eventually her boss (regional guy in Singapore) realised the damage she was doing and sacked her.

[kotsak]

***Replied wrong thread post :>

Edited May 10, 2011 by kotsak

[Movingon]

Well Sinsod is money or property give to the parent of the bride with a promise that their daughter will marry the groom, so when there is marriage then the such agreement is fulfilled. You can't take it back in anyway without your ex-wife's family consent.

I have observed that Sinsod is seemed to be big problem with foreigner. Why Sinsod is matter to marry Thai woman? The background reason is that if a daughter is getting marry Sinsod is the prove that the man can take care, protect, and provide good life to the daughter.

Recently most of bride's parent would return Sinsod back to the groom after they finish the marriage ceremony, well from my knowledge.

Edited May 10, 2011 by Movingon

[jackinbkk]

If someone gave me a large amount of cash they'd have to try very hard to get it back.

Besides, I'd bet most of it is already gone... They must have been planning what to buy with the money for months.

Payday was spend spend spend baby!!!!!

Not to mention that I've seen many Thai people who aren't so responsible when it comes to managing money and planning for the future.

Easy come, easy go.

Count it as one very expensive le$$on, not to be repeated.

[Semper]

If someone gave me a large amount of cash they'd have to try very hard to get it back.

Besides, I'd bet most of it is already gone... They must have been planning what to buy with the money for months.

Payday was spend spend spend baby!!!!!

Not to mention that I've seen many Thai people who aren't so responsible when it comes to managing money and planning for the future.

Easy come, easy go.

Count it as one very expensive le$$on, not to be repeated.

You must be joking.

[Indonews]

The sinsod is good.. I paied two times because i married 2 women.. one thai and one chinese..

[nocturn]

Just happened to a friend's son. After the marriage, he moved in with the wife's family (Isaan custom/culture). A month after the marriage, the mother-in-law wanted to ship him off to Dubai (solo) for work, but for some odd reason he wanted to stay longer with his new bride. The rancorous atmosphere got so bad, he split and went back to his parents. The marriage quickly dissolved. The 100,000B sinsod? Fughettaboudit!

Here's another example - a real story; hi-so family convince another hi-so family that their daughter is a good catch, grooms family are convinced, groom wants nothing of it but can't escape his parents wishes /demands. Almost zero courtship because bride always too busy.

Marriage proceeds, grooms parents pay massive sin-sod, large amount of valuable land, big new house, big money, big jewellery. Marriage lasts 7 days and groom throws her out, groom explains to his parents and they are shocked, they ask for return of all or part of sin-sod. Nothing returned.

Now the bride; she had been married before in US (to a farang) after completing her studies, marriage lasted similar time and groom threw her out. None of this was known to the Thai groom or his parents.

Bottom line, most selfish woman ever to walk on this earth, seriously manipulating to get her own way, no compromise on anything, also very demanding of all around her.

In fact I worked with the bride for about two years, she was in a managerial position, she left a trail of destruction wherever she went, unbelievably rude to and unbelievably demanding of her same level colleagues. Evil to employees under her, both verbally and continuous seriously abusive e.mails. Massive turn-over of junior staff and some senior staff. Company lost numerous important customers. Eventually her boss (regional guy in Singapore) realised the damage she was doing and sacked her.

yep. this sums it up quite well. she is certainly an archetype.

[ozzieovaseas]

Well Sinsod is money or property give to the parent of the bride with a promise that their daughter will marry the groom, so when there is marriage then the such agreement is fulfilled. You can't take it back in anyway without your ex-wife's family consent.

I have observed that Sinsod is seemed to be big problem with foreigner. Why Sinsod is matter to marry Thai woman? The background reason is that if a daughter is getting marry Sinsod is the prove that the man can take care, protect, and provide good life to the daughter.

Recently most of bride's parent would return Sinsod back to the groom after they finish the marriage ceremony, well from my knowledge.

I am thinking there is a possibility you may be Thai?..ok ill bite..

Your point is taken that sinsod is proof a man can take care, protect and provide for the daughter...but how can the man protect and make a good life for daughter if he gives all his money to the womans parents???

Also, what is also unfortunate is what happens AFTER the wedding...If the farang is known for giving large amounts of money as sinsod, then the expectation comes from all the womans family that this farang is the answer to ALL their financial needs and wants.

Would a Thai family be constantly asking for money if it were a Thai man she married?? .......i think not.

So, If he is stupid enough to start this habit of him being the walking ATM machine, he will soon be broke..AND divorced,

Will the Thai lady look after him, love him, take care him..after he gives to everyone else and has no money left?.............i think not

The thing that astounds me most about Thai thinking is that just because a guy can pay a large sinsod (once) then the Thai belief is that he obviously has so much money that it can NEVER possibly run out.

Why cant Thais understand that the man who SAVES money (instead of throwing it away on a whim) is more likely to be rich...simply because he DOESNT spend..its not rocket science..to be rich you have to be able to save money, not just throw it around trying to impress everyone.

The falang bah who fool all you thais into thinking he is rich by buying this and that will soon be broke..and alone

but i guess you already know that

[kwonitoy]

Here is my experience from last week.

My wife's adopeted son of 21 years age spent the night with a 16 year old girl, The family of the girl raised a big stink about it saying they had to get married or they would go to the police. He claims nothing physical happens The older members of both families got together and settled on a 40,000 baht sinsod. That was paid that night by my wife, I didn't kick in, I told her this was BS and he was getting railroaded.

Meeting that night, money paid, boy looking very unhappy. He moves out to the girls families house.

Now I suspect that there was some thinking from the girl that she had caught a rich falang's son and she was on easy street. Well we have a big rubber operation and EVERYONE works, no one harder than my wife and she accepts nothing less from anyone around us. Our son works from 6:00 am untill 6:00 pm practiacally everyday. His new wife is now expected to do the same. Past week they have been hand weeding between the trees.

Now she doesn't look happy.

Yesterday she decided the marriage should be finished as she now wants to go back to school.

Old folks got together again and its been decided that since she broke the agreement sinsod comes back DOUBLE.

80,000 baht

Haven't seen any money but her family is looking very nervous.

For what it's worth this is all thai on thai, I've kept my big white face very deliberatly out of it

[JimsKnight]

Pretty sure his chance is zero.

...{and} mai mee rak Farang.:jap:

...and Farang rak Thai.

and Farang rak Farang

[andrewbkk]

Will the Thai lady look after him, love him, take care him..after he gives to everyone else and has no money left?.............i think not

She won't.