Overstay? Not Just About Visas

[cpofc]

I reckon I am not the first, nor will I be the last, Farang Expat living in Thailand who has had this problem.

Hard to know exactly where to start really, I have had some up and downs in my life. Good times and bad. But this year has been the most stressful I have had since I moved to the Kingdom permanently 7 years ago. And it hasn't anything to do with Thais.

Quickly, my background. I will be 60 in a couple of years. I am Ex Career Military and have been visiting and living in Thailand for more than 40 years. Been married to a Thai for 26 of them and have grown up children. Together with my wife I have owned and managed Thai Restaurants in my home country. So, I am reasonably clued up when it comes to the LOS. Especially since I live in a ALL thai community, where some members of my extended Thai family also reside. I have built up a very good realtionship with all those in my Moo Baan. I have assimilated quite successfully to be honest. My mate's Thai experience consists of one 4 day visit to Bangkok about 30 years ago. So you will understand that I became an unpaid 'Baby Sitter' as well as many other things.

So what happens when an old Military Mate, who, as it turns out, you thought you did, but you never really knew all that well, the one you have been inviting for years to come and visit you, finally shows up for a 2 week holiday, because his work and personal relationships back home have broken down. Typical of the newbie farang arriving in the Kingdom, he is quickly seduced, not long after he surveys your home, your friends and the lifestyle you have made, and PAID, for yourself and decides to make it his own. At your expense, both financially and emotionally. 2 weeks isn't long. But then it was another two weeks, Then it was Four Months. Then it became 'open ended' where he just wouldn't leave and would even try to publicly embarrass me in front of my thai friends so as to allow him to stay longer. Thankfully they can not understand English and did not know what he was saying or attempting to do, and I certainly wasn't going to translate for him, In the entire 5 months he never went anywhere, never did anything and out fumbled me on almost every cab fare and check-bin. He barely left my Soi in four frigging months! He did not even go to Pattaya? He hasn't visited or seen the Grand Palace, nor even been 'downtown' (not that he is missing too much IMHO) Yet after spending 5 months permanently ensconced in my small house in my small Soi in outer suburban bangkok he is virtually an expert on all things Thailand. I should be congratulated. Perhaps I should start charging for tuition. But my observations and opinions are mine only, although based on hands on experience. they are open for debate.. You should find out for yourself, right? That is If you could get off the grog and your arse for a day or two..

Anyway I can't go into details of what transpired during his residence, it would take too long, and besides I don't think alot of you would believe it all anyway, Suffice to say, by the end, it was bizarre. He was treating me, his host, with contempt in the finish.

This has had enormous emotional impact upon me. I will get over it, but it is going to take some time. I have rarely, if ever, met someone so untterly selfish, self centred, miserly, and not to mention, manipulative, In the 7 years I have lived here on a permanent basis I have never been so depressed or sad. I am not the same person I was before he arrived, and I miss the person I used to be.

Noone likes losing friends. Especially old friends. I honestly thought I could do him a favour, but he didn't want mere favours, he wanted my life..

Perhaps I should take some of the blame too. I consider myself a pretty good host, perhaps too good. I should have made the rules clear before starting the game.

Perhaps, you too may keep this in mind should you decide to let an old mate into your home and your life.

[beano2274]

Get him out as quick as possible, before your health goes down the drain.

Am an ex Squaddie myself, I keep in touch with old mates but doubt I will ever see them here, most are

married so they will be under the thumb of their wife's, which is good for me.

Edited May 24, 2011 by beano2274

[Tonto21]

You say; "Perhaps I should take some of the blame too" <deleted>*King A! This nob is not your mate! YOU are allowing him to do what he is doing, Just like a con man. Kick the bum out………Being a mate is a two way street. It sound to me like your soft hearted, (nothing wrong with that) Gotta be strong, he will bitch like <deleted>*k, as he's had it way too good for too long…………………..Good luck.

Edited May 24, 2011 by Tonto21

[Jebhead]

You say; "Perhaps I should take some of the blame too" <deleted>*King A! This nob is not your mate! YOU are allowing him to do what he is doing, Just like a con man. Kick the bum out………Being a mate is a two way street. It sound to me like your soft hearted, (nothing wrong with that) Gotta be strong, he will bitch like <deleted>*k, as he's had it way too good for too long…………………..Good luck.

Stop beating around the bush - brilliant!!!

JH