France ..

[francois]

here is a long text that I found on the web in 98 ...

I give it to you in parts ...

today, part one

The following advisory for American travellers heading for France was

compiled from information provided by the US State Department, the Central Intelligence Agency, the US Chamber of Commerce, the Food and Drug Administration, the Centres for Disease Control, and some very expensive spy satellites that the French don't know about. It is intended as a guide for American travellers only.

No guarantee of accuracy is ensured or intended.

General overview:

France is a medium-sized foreign country situated in the continent of Europe. It is an important member of the world community, though not nearly as important as it thinks. It is bounded by Germany, Spain,

Switzerland and some smaller nations of no particular consequence and with not very good shopping.

France is a very old country with many treasures, such as the Louvre and EuroDisney. Among its contributions to western civilisation are champagne, Camembert cheese and the guillotine.

Although France likes to think of itself as a modern nation, air

conditioning is little used and it is next to impossible to get decent

Mexican food. One continuing exasperation for American visitors is

that the people wilfully persist in speaking French, though many will speak English if shouted at. As in any foreign country, watch your change at all times.

The People:

France has a population of 54 million people, most of whom drink and smoke a great deal, drive like lunatics, are dangerously oversexed, and

have no concept of standing patiently in line. The French people are in general Gloomy, temperamental, proud, arrogant, aloof, and undisciplined; and those are their good points.

Most French citizens are Roman Catholic, though you would hardly guess it from their behaviour. Many people are communists, and topless sunbathing is common. Men sometimes have girls' names like Marie, and they kiss each other when they hand out medals.

American travellers are advised to travel in groups and to wear

baseball caps and colourful trousers for easier mutual recognition.

some more to come

francois