Letter Home To Mum

[Ozziman04]

The following is a letter from a Thai girl honme to he parents, for you convinience it has been translated into English

Dear Mother Father,

It has been three months since I left you on the farm. I have been late in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down.

YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN. OKAY!

Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window from the upstairs bar when it caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. I only get those sick headaches once a day.

Fortunately the fire in the bar and my jump were witnessed by aold man passing by, and he was the one who called the fire brigade and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital and since I had nowhere to work, he was kind enough to invite me to share his hotel room and pay me 1000 baht a day to stay with him. It’s really a big room, and it’s kind of cute. with chains and leather on the walls. He is a very fine man and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to be married. We haven’t set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.

Yes Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the love, devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my man has some minor infection from other bar girl which prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am taking daily.

I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know your oft expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin colour is somewhat whiter than ours, I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good too, for I am told that his father is an imports a white poweder from his home that makes people happy.

Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no bar fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant. I am not engaged. I do not have syphillis and there is no white man in my life. However,

I am getting a “D” in History and an “F” in Science and I wanted you to see those marks in the proper perspective.

Yours -

Your Loving Daughter

[ZoiD]

dont give up the day job

[falux]

This joke made me really angry before I got to the end.

Ok, relief, but jokes like this are unnecessary!

You insult 2 cultures at the same time...

[john b good]

This joke has been around in one shape or form for years. Not usually from a Thai girl.

More often than not it's from a daughter who has gone to study in the big smoke.

BUT! how anyone can claim to be offended by it (the joke) is beyond me.

OK perhaps if you're from the bible belt in the deep south that might explain it, but other than that you have got me fcuked.

[12call]

This joke made me really angry before I got to the end.

Ok, relief, but jokes like this are unnecessary!

You insult 2 cultures at the same time...