I Am Screwed And I Know It.

[CWMcMurray]

Several comments leads me to point out that Thailand nowadays has signed the Convention on International Child Abduction, this is ony about the civil aspects but in many countries also will have criminal aspects as kidnapping charges can be laid.

http://www.hcch.net/...s.status&cid=24

Yes, but I think many have missed the point... the father is not packing up the kid and fleeing Thailand (arguably kidnapping). What is being advised is letting the mother leave and then advising Immigration that the relationship has ended and he is no longer sponsoring her.

If this happens, he can also claim in court that the relationship had ended and she decided to go back to Thailand abandoning the child to his care (not kidnapping by father, but abandoning the child by the mother)

It is likely that she will be able to get a visa back in to Australia to pursue the divorce if she really tries, but I do not see how the mother going to Thailand while the father stays at home caring for the child will look bad in court.

In fact if he collects evidence of her cheating along the way and then files for divorce in Australia the second she sets foot on the plane to Thailand, he could claim that that had a falling out over her cheating ways and he told her he was going to file for divorce. She decided to flee to Thailand abandoning their child to his care.

I would guess if the OPs claims of cheating are true and he collects evidence to that effect and if the timing is done correctly, he can have a fairly convincing argument.

Maybe he will win and maybe he will lose, but I think it would position him better that he seems to be now.

[David48]

Your right, you're screwed Pal. No point in bitching about it now. Just put your head down, make sure you keep your job, don't plan on buying anything for yourself for the next 16 years and keep looking on the bright side, you could have had triplets:)

Yep, I made my bed. Its all about damage control now. Actually triplets would have been great. The wife has a complete meldown when our little one has a bad day, by the end of it she is ready to leave. So 3 would have sent her running. Thats also my bitch.... its all about the money not the baby..

Punch, have you confirmed 100% that the baby is indeed yours?

DNA tests are inexpensive.

I can sense your strong emotional attachent to your child as any proud father should have ... I'd be just ensuring the facts through DNA testing.

[toan6082]

Thanks for all the replies, but does any one know or had and experiance with the fact that SHE is still on a temperary visa... I am getting told one thing by imagration and another by the lawyers.. If I listent to imagration I should just cancel her sponcership and give them the reasons why.. this they say could send her home, but my lawyer says this would not work, that she would surley get to stay and take me out.. my lawyer also added our child needs a mother.. This made me worry that she is to syperthetic to my child and wife... I got the feeling she does not know to much about money chasing thai girls. I know even ozzie girls can do the same and I have some great thai female friends who are not money chacers.. But my one is no poor inercent thai girl... As I sit her in the next room I can see on my laptop (that she did not log of from facebook messanger 4 weeks ago ) she is planing a date for Saturday night, both her and her thai girl friend, who is also married.. These women are just amazing. I want to tell her friends hubby, but she would do me a huge favor if she ran of with another man... Sorry for the info overload, but its just a bit of a release... I cant even have a beer, because then out it would all come..

Cheers

when her temp visa expires, you being her sponsor fills in paperwork for pernament residency,tell how the marriage was and she only married you for money and to get into aus,discedit her personalityand any thing that will make aus gov cancel her visa. if she does anything illegal in aus this will also helo the gov to cancel her visa.

[scotto]

Ok i beleive you should go down this road

1: tell wife you want to make things good again buy her flowers take her out to dinner take her shopping whatever it takes to make her think she is in control.

2:get someone to take photos of her cheating on you and soon

3:never ever get upset at her no matter what just smile and say yes dear(remember now you are playing her game and you have to be convincing no matter what)

4: tell her you want to live in thailand and are sending her back to look for house

5: either put your house on the market or put it into a trust account with your parents as 90% owners you 10% then she gets half of sweet f /a see a good solicitor!! pronto and talk through the options if you live in melbourne pm me i will give you the name of my solicitor burnie the bulldog as i call him he did this for me and he thrives on this sort of thing and is reasonably priced.

6:when she is in thailand tell dept immigration she has abandoned you and bubs(they will not like that and you have informed govt dept and can be used in court later)

7: when send wifey to thai give her 1 way ticket and tell her when she finds house you will come over and pay for it

8: always stay calm no matter what my ex tried the avo on me and when it went to court my solicitor told the judge it was a laod of bul and judge threw it out!!!

9:play her game and play it good this is for your sake and bubs

10: never ever say you are screwed there is always a way to win you just have to plot the course and let things play out and you will get what you want,

( Never ever give into her)

I honestly hope you come through this with what you want good luck

scotto

[farang000999]

Results?

[fezzy]

To the OP first thing i would do is remove any evidence that your seeking support and information off your shared computer's history of Thaivisa and set up transfer of your house now to your parents/family member before you attempt tricking her to return home .

Good luck with getting her to leave her/your child behind in Aus as this is her greatest asset and bargaining chip.

If this was me i would make a false advertisement of an expensive over the top house close to her family and say you want to buy it and give it another try in Thailand for a while away from Aus and just the three of you.

Then ring Aus and get the house vacated while you are out of the country.

Once in Thailand cancel all of the return tickets and cross the Thai /Cambodia border and fly to Singapore or K/L ,from there you can get back to Aus .

Then good luck ,include other advice others have given you about her being a bad mother and beware on 60 minutes a couple of years back the Russian girls were doing this scam too ,but using the 'my partner is abusing me story ' which ends up you trying to clear your name and she automatically get the house as she is not a resident and also her residency is granted almost instantly

good luck play smart and keep a dairy of events ,and keep this well hidden

if in Perth PM pm me

P.S also hope she doesn't put a cavate on your house as this will stop you selling / anything to your house

[punch]

Thanks fezzy and again everyone else. But the legal advice i have got from different lawyers said assets can not be transfured or hidden. I am working on somthing right now but staying calm is the key, hard but a must do. I will give imagration some more info on her doings and see what happens. I am just happy she cant get my kid out of the country. I will keep this thread going until i get a result but it could take a while. I will post everything i learn legaly on the way for anyone who is interested.

Keep thai girls in thailand!!!!

[samsiam]

That scheme will not look good in court when the child custody must be settled.

They will not know any different than a planned vacation will they.

If you are in a position to sell the house without her knowing...do it....might not be possible if she lives there everyday etc.....but, if you can...scheme your best to do it.....then hide the cash...CASH....take it out slowly and hide it.....then tell the authorities when asked where it all went...that you gave it away to charities and lost the rest in the casino....I read about someone that did this with the charity aspect and got away with it....said in his statements that he preferred to give it all away rather than let that bitch get any of it....it worked.

[talk2sam]

Pretend you love her and want reconciliation (no arguments over anything from now on).

Give her a trip back to Thailand to see her parents (on her own if possible).

Or alternatively a trip for all of you, but you and daughter fly back to Oz the next day after you let her go shopping alone.

Cancel her Visa when she is in Thailand.

Sell your house, don't transfer it to a friend, do a real sale.

Hide the cash (notes in a safe at parents house, etc)

Then sit tight and let the inevitable happen.

If she manages to get back to Oz, at least the house will be gone.

A variation on this game is to want to buy her a better house, or a house in Thailand.

Find a new house, the fancier, the better.

Sell your house but never make the payment on the 'new' house.

Become unemployed, if she gets to the maintenance payments stage, they will be less.

Spot on...I was going to suggest this but I guess you beat me to it.

[BookMan]

Pretend you love her and want reconciliation (no arguments over anything from now on).

Give her a trip back to Thailand to see her parents (on her own if possible).

Or alternatively a trip for all of you, but you and daughter fly back to Oz the next day after you let her go shopping alone.

Cancel her Visa when she is in Thailand.

Sell your house, don't transfer it to a friend, do a real sale.

Hide the cash (notes in a safe at parents house, etc)

Then sit tight and let the inevitable happen.

If she manages to get back to Oz, at least the house will be gone.

A variation on this game is to want to buy her a better house, or a house in Thailand.

Find a new house, the fancier, the better.

Sell your house but never make the payment on the 'new' house.

Become unemployed, if she gets to the maintenance payments stage, they will be less.

Spot on...I was going to suggest this but I guess you beat me to it.

By almost 3 months in fact!

[Bakeman]

Pretend you love her and want reconciliation (no arguments over anything from now on).

Give her a trip back to Thailand to see her parents (on her own if possible).

Or alternatively a trip for all of you, but you and daughter fly back to Oz the next day after you let her go shopping alone.

Cancel her Visa when she is in Thailand.

Sell your house, don't transfer it to a friend, do a real sale.

Hide the cash (notes in a safe at parents house, etc)

Then sit tight and let the inevitable happen.

If she manages to get back to Oz, at least the house will be gone.

A variation on this game is to want to buy her a better house, or a house in Thailand.

Find a new house, the fancier, the better.

Sell your house but never make the payment on the 'new' house.

Become unemployed, if she gets to the maintenance payments stage, they will be less.

My thoughts exactly.

[edwinclapham]

Punch, I have skimmed through the posts so forgive me if this is being repeated.

It is against the law in Australia to remove a child without the consent of both parties.

Personally I would be contacting the Federal Courts and placing a stop on your child leaving the country.

http://www.familylawcourts.gov.au/wps/wcm/resources/file/ebf53a00adbf1a8/Children_Travelv1.pdf

Quote" Preventing a child from leaving Australia

If there is a possibility or threat that a child may

be removed from Australia, the Court can make

orders which:

■ restrain the removal of the child from Australia

■ request that the Australian Federal Police (AFP)

place the child’s name on the Airport Watch

List"

Certain concessions are made to partners who have not yet completed their 2 years temporary visa requirements in as much as they may be allowed to remain in the country particularly as a child is involved. I would be contacting someone in the law fraternity that would be sympathetic to your plight. The Courts in Oz are exceptionally sympathetic to fathers these days thank goodness. Your wife would have to prove that your child would be brought up in a similar environment in Thailand as in Australia, i.e. not being left with i.e. not being left with a member of her family, education etc.

http://www.dadsclub.com.au/fathers-rights-in-australia/

A good many Poms who have had their children born and bred in the UK and emigrated to Australia have found out to their astonishment that should the relationship break down, it is considered "abduction" removing your children from Australia without the permission of the remaining partner. I do realise that the UK enjoys as does Australia being a member of the Hague Convention but even more reason to place an airport stop on the removal of your child.

Very best wishes, It is an unpleasant story!

[randymarsh]

Can anyone point me in the right direction to understand the laws in English were I to ever find myself in the same / a similar situation?

[maprao]

You probably don't need or want to hear this, but marrying one is a mistake, and ringing her to Australia an even bigger mistake.

I wish you the best of luck in your brawl.

Marrying all round is a big mistake, westurn or thai.. never again.

yeap unfortunately I could not follow my own advice. Everything is in Thailand. She remains a loving wife and my kid is great. When I want I do as I please. Take it or leave it she normally takes it. Maybe one day I will find myself in bed with my throat slit lol.

I feel sorry for the Op bad situation to be in. She certainly did her homework beforehand.

[evadgib]

I cannot rememember what the Aussie equivalent of FNF is called but you may find this useful:

http://www.fnf.org.uk/news-and-events/press-releases/2010-archive/100203

[expatdreamer]

Thanks fezzy and again everyone else. But the legal advice i have got from different lawyers said assets can not be transfured or hidden. I am working on somthing right now but staying calm is the key, hard but a must do. I will give imagration some more info on her doings and see what happens. I am just happy she cant get my kid out of the country. I will keep this thread going until i get a result but it could take a while. I will post everything i learn legaly on the way for anyone who is interested.

Keep thai girls in thailand!!!!

Thanks punch, yes keep the thread updated. And totally agree with your last sentence above !

[punch]

Can anyone point me in the right direction to understand the laws in English were I to ever find myself in the same / a similar situation?

Hi Randy, All I can say is that every case is different and that if you think you may find yourself in the same situation in the future then just keep reading posts. I learnt a lot more on TV then I could any other way. There is no legal advice you can get to prepare you for future legal battles. I tried to get a pre nup before we had the kid but then I was told The Family Law Court could over turn anything so it would be a waist of money.. All the other poster on this thread and others have the best advice. Dont bring your Gf/wife to your home country and and be very carful if you have a kid with a thai girl.. But I have lots of friends who have done this and there just fine. So who knows.

[punch]

If anyone is following or interested I tried something different, I tried a financial/Post Nup agrement. Well after 3 months of getting it organised it's just not worth It. Australian FamilyLaw can over turn anything and the costs where huge. My wife was more then happy to sign it after I told her about it. So at the end of the day there is nothing that can be done but to just cop it. She has pulled her head in a lot and wants to make it work. She is still pretty neglectful but our child loves her regardless and I have not got it in me to split them up just yet.

The only thing I am doing is selling my home and then rent, some how hide assets as a lot of posters have sugested, not easy but thats all I can do. Its not all bad, my kid is still the best thing to ever happen, its only money and it could have been worse. I could have married an Aussie (again). I suppose any long term TV readers know all this anyway, and new TV users just keep reading, I wish I had of found TV before my first trip to Thailand many years ago. As far as Thai girls go, I still love them, but next time I will do things very diffent.

[Mario2008]

snip...

Dont bring your Gf/wife to your home country and and be very carful if you have a kid with a thai girl.. But I have lots of friends who have done this and there just fine. So who knows. snip....

Absolute rubbish. Problems can happen in any relationship, with a Thai or any nationality. Don't blame it on someone being Thai.

But when marrying someone from a different culture, one must be aware of more differences and misunderstandings than with someone with your own cultural background.

[Annonymous]

Sorry to up this thread but... so what happened at the end?? I'm curious to know whether you got divorced or not, and if you were able to put your ex away while keeping your child?

[diddums]

and did you sell the house and hide the cash......where......ok you're not going to tell us that bit

[F4UCorsair]

I'm interested too.

You had good advice when you were told that you can't hide assets from the Family Law Court. There is a process called 'discovery', and you must reveal what you have and where. There is no escaping it, and if you perjure yourself, you're in the slammer, AND they'll get the assets.

[Newguy70]

Dear Op,

You seem to be blaming her for everything. A relationship take two, and these are the pitfalls of divorce. I will never understand why people get married and don't secure any wealth they have prior to marriage.