Marriage & Divorce Questions, Us + Thai - Looking For Answers

[Ndeep]

I'm a US citizen, looking for advice and answers, thanks in advance.

I'm considering marrying my Thai girlfriend in order to make the process of being able to get her visa to the US easier. She doesn't own property or have a business, doesn't have much money, and doesn't work (I've been told by visa “specialists” this isn't exactly ideal for getting her a US visa). I'm just worried in the event I have to head back to the US for an extended amount of time she won't be able to come visit. Any thoughts or advice here is appreciated regarding my dilemma, but I know this is probably a question for the visa forum.

In regards to marriage & divorce in Thailand:

-If I get married, form a Thai corporation after marriage, buy a home and/or business in the corp name in Thailand with money I had from before marriage, would she have claims to these assets if we divorce?

-My understanding is she won't have claims to inheritance?

-I earn a US income, which by Thai standards is very high, from my reading I'm guessing it would be a good idea to get a pre-nup to protect a majority of these earnings? It seems some people are getting these forms online, will these suffice or should I see a Thai attorney? Also any ideas as to the cost of a fairly standard pre-nup through a Thai attorney (Pattaya)?

Thanks again for any help!

[IsaanUSA]

Wow, interesting post. You should think about this more before you start to go through with this. This is a serious situation and very costly. You openly state the reason is just so she can come over to the USA. Does that mean you two plan to live here forever? Eventual residency and green card? Or is it more for a vacation for her?

1) Residency and green card

This route requires some work. Paperwork, medical exam, interviews, somewhere around $5000, and about 9 months. Here is your gold mine www.visajourney.com

2) Temporary / Short time visit

Consider a fiance visa. Still a bunch of work and costs money, however you never get married, and both of you could possibly be denied for another marriage visa in the future (One random poster said 2 year ban). You would basically be knowlingly cheating the system and make it harder for all Americans to get visas for their wives.

What's the point of her coming over here? If it is for you, then marriage visa / eventual residency. If you two have absolutely no plan to ever get married, then what is the point of all this anyways? You're putting a lot up with a minimal benefit.

If you really make so much money, then you should consider hiring an American Immigration attourney. They will do paperwork for you and I'm sure they could help with a pre-nup.

Besides that, Skype, email, SMS, phone cards, wire transfers, and a long conversation about how you need to go back to earn more money for your future together. If she can't understand that, then ...............

[IsaanUSA]

If you two have an existing relationship and she plans to come and stay for several months, and she has no way whatsoever to support herself, then you have to go the marriage route. Student visa would be denied if she doesn't have funds, tourist visa requires the Thai to have strong ties back to Thailand (such as a job, family, house, or savings).

The United States makes this difficult for a reason. We don't want dead beats coming to our country. We already have a problem with illegal immigrants.

[Ndeep]

Thanks for the reply, and information.

I love her enough to marry her, I just don't believe in "officially" getting married because I don't need any government involved in my affairs. However, with that being said "officially" is the only way that would help to get her a Visa to the US, and the only reason I would consider marriage.

I'm not trying to immigrate her to the US whatsoever.

Only in the case I had to come back for work for an extended period of time 6-12 months, it would be nice if she could come and stay for 1-3 months or so.

Based on her situation I don't think she could get a Visa at all, unless we were married.

I'm aware, or I've been told getting her a Visa anywhere shy of 2 years of marriage is not so easy either, but I'm not totally sure of this?

I think I'm leaning towards no marriage, and just roll the dice with trying to get her a tourist Visa if it comes to that. Any ideas on how long she could get a tourist Visa for?

The United States makes a lot of things difficult...I'll just leave it at that.

[IsaanUSA]

Thanks for your further explanation.

Personally I would not get married then. There are way too many downsides in this case (not to mention the actual cost of the process). So in that case, tourist visa is your only hope. I believe they are valid for 10 or 5 years. I want to say some people had visas that were only valid for 1 year.

It's not a difficult process, but she must take the process very seriously. I cant determine the way that they accept or deny tourist visa requests. There are many posts regarding tourist visas in this website. Sponsorship letter, money in the bank, complete application, and good knowledge of the English language. One unemployed friend easily got one, employed friend did a lot of work and got one, another employed friend didn't really take it seriously and was denied. All had assets, very good English skills, single females, and honestly just wanted to come over for tourism. The two that were accepted received 10 year tourist visas.

I can't say much about the marriage visa, I never made it past the research stage.

[Ndeep]

IsaanUSA,

Thanks for the advice, good stuff, espcecially this VisaJourney forum.

I've been doing a lot of thinking regarding work/money. For now my best opportunities are in the US, and perhaps putting in another 2-3 years now working in the US is what is best.

With that being said, I'm thinking about going the Fiancee visa route...make sure she can even handle the US for short periods of time. After that has been determined, and if the answer is yes, then I think I can't avoid marriage in order to get her to able to stay for 2-3 month periods of time.

I'll do more research on Fiancee visa.

[bangkokburning]

I have a difficult time following what you are tryng to accomplish.

The best thing for you to do is for you to send her to school, have her get a proper job, build a bank account and after a few years apply for tourist visa which is for the exact purpose you desire. As a bonus you are not getting married.

The K visa is frought with issues for someone like yourself. The idea of buying land and opening businesses makes me shudder. A friend of a friend just lost 1.5m B due to his new wifes ignorance or thievery (?). I guess they STILL haven't learned.

I would ask you what sort of experience do you have in Thailand and with Thai women lacking jobs/education? Sounds like she is a bar girl that you met on the Internet. If that is the case and works for you - great. Won't be easy covering that history up. Especially if she is/looks like she is from Issan. Good luck and watch your wallet.

Forget the marriage visa. Take your time - you have your lives together. BTW you will either need to be in Thailand on on O visa 6+mos OR file the papers with you back in states for any marriage visa.

[bangkokburning]

Stay in the US - WORK! Don't be a fool and leave money on the table. If you can't deal w/ your job OR if you get pink slipped - OK, let the job take you out!!

She will be here waiting and if not there will be someone else. You can take a few trips here rather than bothering with all those complications. It will also build time to see how real the realationship is.

[Ndeep]

Bangkokburning,

Thanks for the advice. I hear what you are saying, and marriage is definitely not at the top of my list.

This isn't a met online, spent a few nights together situation. I've known her for a little less than a year, but she lives with me now, and has been for the last 3 months, before that she had her own place. I still understand this is not a very long time in the whole scheme of things.

You still think a fiance visa to bring her to US to check it out, and a possible marriage is a bad idea? If I go this route, then she could stay and even work in the US, or go to school in the US, until we eventually head back to Thailand. She would also be able to make trips back home every 3-4 months or so. This would give us a chance to be together, while I am able to work in the States.

This thread has kind of taken a turn, since originally I didn't want to bring her Stateside, but now i'm seeing that as a better option for both of us.

If I wasn't on planning to have her stay in the US, then yes I think going to school, her getting a better job, etc would be the next best play.

Thanks for any ideas and input...I'm obviously just brainstorming and looking for possible solutions.

[Ndeep]

The K visa is frought with issues for someone like yourself.

Why is this?

From what I've read on the US Citizenship and Immigration Website it looks pretty straight forward (K-1 fiance visa)...fill out the paperwork and wait. Is there something I'm missing?

Thanks

[bangkokburning]

To answer both your questions (above) and certainly to the OP.

K visa will get her there but then you will have all sorts of hassles to have her status adjusted. This could fall apart and all the money and time and hassle would go by the by. You build your case for residency there and if they don't like what they are seeing - poof, she is back here.

Yes, she would have claim to half I believe AND you cannot buy land. It would have to be in her name (or a corporations).

If you are coming back out in a few years, just sweat it out. She can't even leave the country for three years after yo ubegin the process so if you plan of leaving in 2 that ain't gonna work for you and may end up costing you $$$ another year in US vs Thailand.

Two years moves fast and it will be a test to the relationship. If she had an education and ambition she could have herself a job - she doesn't. MY gf who looks like a cheerleader more than a bargirl easily got a visa to US (although she had one prior). Her salary is average, assets minimal - and I have been more or less living here on TRs for a decade. So don't beleive all the BS about what the Conoff will say and do. Trouble is by the time she gets her act together - yo will be here.

Take a step back and take a breath, sounds like you are a bird in search of a cage and really complicating your life. Some things take time.

Edited January 15, 2012 by bangkokburning

[Ndeep]

Thanks for the advice.

Life has been moving a million miles an hour for about the last 6+ months...it's been unsettling.

I'm going to really have to think this one through; but you are right sweating out the next 2 years would be a good test for the relationship.

I think I'm having trouble coming to terms with the fact that things are just not going to go as quickly as I would like them to...what's new.

I just shed a bunch of cages in the US (my home, tons of belongings), and yeah, now I'm apparently looking to get back in one. My father even said to me the other day "You just got your freedom back, why would you do that?", regarding a conversation we were having where I was talking about the possibility of buying some real estate.

My life is very minimalistic in comparison to most in the US, however as hard as I try, in many ways I haven't been able to transcend my Western upbringing...always living in the future, always wanting more; another thing that is going to take more time.

[bangkokburning]

You mentioned Pattaya. Honestly - if she has anything to do with Pattaya, she is no angel. Believe me 99% of the women and that includes woman recving monthly stipends from farang are on the game. So, no job - to me means. I'm on the game. She might freelance, she might work in more obscure parts of the industry. Just sayin'.

I had lived like that - a backpacker (much to the boards chagrin) for nearly twenty years although I have always been a minimalist. Even now with a gf of two years, my belongings are limited to a few big bags. Increased clothing as I now live in BKK, campping gear. I could get myself back to the 31L bag in no time although getting down to the 19L bag would be a stretch.

My gf is 35 and I am lucky, really lucky because she is also a backpacker and has no qualms about my lifestyle and quirkiness. Her dream is to live out of a bag and see the world so as long as I feed that desire - we are happy.

I would add the only reason I am not still single is becasue I met HER. I was never looking for a relationship let alone marriage. But she is about as perfect as it gets for me.

Stay free, finish up working, get the pink slip, go live with Dad and suck up the unemployment and when that is all done - -come and enjoy.

[IsaanUSA]

He only mentioned Pattaya while mentioning looking for an attourney. As an optimist, I'll give the OP the benefit of the doubt. There's a lot of good advice in this thread.

Let's say you go through with the fiance visa, she comes over, it doesn't work out during the 90 days, and she is sent back. Personally I believe when you do this again with a second woman, you're going to have more problems. First of all you would have some explaining to do to the new fiance. Second, I think the US Immigration are going to look at you harder for the second go-around. Three, if the second one doesn't work, I personally believe the immigration department will give you an even harder time for the third go-around.

If you've known her less than a year then I would not go the marriage route at all. Just go to visit her in your spare time. I agree with bangkokburning and not to leave your job for this. If you get laidoff THEN look into living in SE Asia for awhile.

I think it will mostly come down to what feels right for you. The visa route will require a lot of work and dedication (and money). The "visit once a year" route will be full of heartache and temptation, but in the end it can strengthen your relationship.

Why can't we all just be rich? Life would be easy

[Pseudolus]

not being funny, but can't you stick her in an Aupair agency, and then arrange it so she is sent to Aupair you?

[IsaanUSA]

not being funny, but can't you stick her in an Aupair agency, and then arrange it so she is sent to Aupair you?

Depends on her age

[bangkokburning]

I would pretty much agree w/ you IssanUSA. He will have big issues second time around. From my research the first time is no picnic.

She can't just sign on as an ap for many reasons. Half of Issan would be in the US if it were that easy.

[Ndeep]

Yeah, she is no angel, but I'm not looking for an angel...as they say, and what is important is she has a good heart...she's actually a really nice girl.

For now I've decided that it is probalby best to work when the work is there and make trips back and forth, sweat it out...no marriage for now.

As mentioned in this thread, probably best for here to go to school, get a better job, and I can help her to get some money in the bank, maybe some land for her parents in her name; this will all help down the road in getting her a tourist visa (if the relationship even lasts that long). In the end even if I gave her money for land and the bank account, it will be much cheaper and safer than the potential disaster a divorce could be.

I don't have any personal experience with the K-1 or K-3, but I think there may be a lot of misinformation regarding the difficulty of getting it done. I know a guy who isn't exactly sharp, and doesn't have a lot of money and he had no problem pulling it off; I wouldn't say his girls situation was ideal either. I've also spoken to others who have gone through the process no problems (thai, ukraine, etc.)

The aupair idea could be good, I hadn't thought of it, and haven't looked into it at all; but my brother and his wife are having a baby in the US. My girlfriend is 23, so maybe it could work?

[IsaanUSA]

Wow 23? That's young. I believe au pair could be an option. I'm relatively young and never married, but 23 years seems too young to be getting married. Personally, I'd like them to be closer to 28 for marriage material.

I knew a girl that came over as an au pair, met a guy a year later and ended up marrying him. If you go the au pair route, you should do some research, but I assume there should be no mention of you or your relationship whatsoever on her applications (verbal/written/anything otherwise). That is just based on information from other visa types.

I don't think the K1 / K3 visas seem difficult, it just looks like a lot of organization and due diligence is required. As well as patience and money.

[spidermike007]

Been told that a marriage in Thailand is not recognized in the US. The surest approach is for YOU to apply for a fiance visa in the US. She will be granted a 90 day. Isa to the US based on that. Then you get married in the US. A Thai marriage means nothing to the embassy.

[Mario2008]

Been told that a marriage in Thailand is not recognized in the US. The surest approach is for YOU to apply for a fiance visa in the US. She will be granted a 90 day. Isa to the US based on that. Then you get married in the US. A Thai marriage means nothing to the embassy.

A marriage in Thailand is recognised without any problem in the US.

What is not recognised is a traditional Thai wedding ceremony, which is not considered a legal wedding according to Thai law. A Thai legal wedding takes place at the amphur and is recognised by other countries such as the US.