Advice On How To Get A Divorce

[ianmccaig]

Hi everyone it’s my first post and I hope someone may have an answer to my question.

I have been dating a lady in Thailand for the past four years and we got on great, so good that we got married last September 2011 at the Amphur office in Bangkok, very simple and quick.

I was our intention to live in the U.K. and last year we obtained a visitor’s Visa for her, my girlfriend to come to England and for her to try the different lifestyle, culture and to meet my family, she loved it and said she could settle here no problem, my family liked her very much and everything went fine.

So in September we got married, my wife called her friends and family to tell them the good news, so did I, then about five minutes after her calls she got a call from her parents (country people) and they asked her for 100,000 Bht, about £2000, because of the flood situation, I know that when you get married to a Thai lady this is what to expect, I had long talks with my lady about this before we married, and explained that I could not be an ATM with unlimited amounts of money to support just about everyone, buffalo and all, she understood, but then after the call from her parents asking for money, her attitude changed, we didn’t even consummate the marriage, she went as cold as ice.

That’s a bit of the history, my question is, I want a divorce, it’s a very simple procedure with both parties giving consent, takes about a couple of hours at the same office where we wed, she will be in agreement so there no problem there, fingers crossed.

The biggest problem I have is, as I understand, if you go for the uncontested divorce at the Amphur office, both parties have to be present at the office, to make statements, to sign, etc, I can’t fly to Thailand because of medical reasons (DVT) I can’t do long haul for about 18 months, and want to move on in my life and start again without any encumbrances.

Does anyone know of a way I can overcome the problem of not being there for the divorce, and by the way my wife and I are on friendly terms (for now).

I would appreciate any advice, if anyone has had a similar problem.

Thanks.

[ludditeman]

Nothing you can do.

If you aren't planning on getting married again, why worry.

More of a problem for her than for you.

PS

No point in discussing (or explaining) money with a Thai lady, she won't listen (as you discovered)

You just agree with anything (Thai way), but never get around to doing what you didn't want to do.

Edited December 23, 2011 by ludditeman

[ianmccaig]

Thanks for the reply I'm non the wiser. I just want it over and done with

Again thanks for reading and the reply.

[Mario2008]

That is a question for a lawyer. i don't think you can get a divorce at the amphur, unless the Thai embassy in this case can act as amphur. (I'm not sure you both have to appear at the same amphur).

Otherwise you would have to go to court and it might be possible to be represented by a lawyer. But that is soemthing you might want to ask a Thai lawyer.

I would suggest emailing isaanlawyers with this question.

[ianmccaig]

Thanks for the replies, very much appreciated, I just dont want to see my woman again It would open up old wounds, I'm so very sad about what happened, I cant let my heart rule my head though, I canot go to Thailand but want to get everything sorted, does anyone know if you can appoint a power of attorney with a lawyer to represent you at the Amphur office.

Thanks

Ian

[ludditeman]

I'm almost certain you can't be represented at the Amphur office.

Having attended such a divorce as a witness/translator part of the divorce process is the head of the Amphur satisfying himself that you both agree on the three points divorce/children/assets (and in the case of a foreigner understanding the process). Without you being there, he can't be sure of agreement, or one of you could claim to have been cheated at a later date.

(cost was about 60bht, 30bht for the divorce, 30bht for photocopies)

Court will be a wait of one year (then she can divorce you for abandonment), then a lot of money.

You really should have sorted it out before you left Thailand.

Edited December 25, 2011 by ludditeman

[mike123ca]

If I have to divorce, I would want to do it in Thailand.

[ianmccaig]

Yes thanks for that information, yes I would like to go to Thailand for the divorce problem is that I can't fly long haul, medical reasons prevents me doing that, could I go to the Thai Embassy in the UK and make a declaration or petition for a Divorce ?

[Tanaka]

Yes thanks for that information, yes I would like to go to Thailand for the divorce problem is that I can't fly long haul, medical reasons prevents me doing that, could I go to the Thai Embassy in the UK and make a declaration or petition for a Divorce ?

You have to ask the embassy about that. But you have grounds for a divorce if, as you say, your marriage was never fulfilled (sexually). If the embassy wont help, you need to contact a lawyer here.

You cannot fly long haul, but could you not make it in 3 steps, with two stopovers?

[Mario2008]

You can not get a divorce from the Thai embassy, such divorce would not be recognized by the UK. You can either get a divorce in Thailand (cheap, but difficult because of your medical condition if you have to go there) or in a UK-court.

Inquire at a Thai law firm if they can act on your behalf in a divorce case.

[ianmccaig]

Thank you to everyone who gave me the advice, I appreciate it all, can anyone advise on the abandonment side of a divorce, can I do it this way. ie if I dont have any contact with her for a period of time can I file a divorse for abandonment ?

Thanks

Ian

[Mario2008]

Filing for divorce for eason of abandonment is possible, after 1 year and can only be sought by the person who was abandont.

http://thailawonline.com/en/family/divorce-in-thailand/how-to-divorce.html

Can't advise about UK-law.

[InterestedObserver]

You can not get a divorce from the Thai embassy, such divorce would not be recognized by the UK. You can either get a divorce in Thailand (cheap, but difficult because of your medical condition if you have to go there) or in a UK-court.

Inquire at a Thai law firm if they can act on your behalf in a divorce case.

The UK seems to recognize a legal Thai marriage so there is no reason the UK will not recognize a legal Thai divorce. I seem to remember that Thaksin Shinawatra got divorced in Hong Kong at the Royal Thai Embassy.

[fin5prtw]

It's complicated, but I think possible. The best thing you can do is contact your embassy and thai embassy sections regarding this - I think there are a lot of forms, but if you can complete the right ones, and get photocopies of your ID, signature etc, certified as legal and correct you may be able to do it... I'm trying to help someone do it who has been trying to do it for the past 5-6 years, and it seems finally we are getting somewhere.. So be warned, it's not easy!!!!

[Mario2008]

The UK seems to recognize a legal Thai marriage so there is no reason the UK will not recognize a legal Thai divorce. I seem to remember that Thaksin Shinawatra got divorced in Hong Kong at the Royal Thai Embassy.

Interesting. But I don't know the specifics of that case. It might be that his wife was in thailand and only he himself visited the Thai embassy in Hongkong, acting as amphur. I beleive Thai law allows both spouses to appear at different amphurs to get a divorce.

[Mario2008]

If the couple file for divorce at the District Office where the marriage was registered, the couple is required to file a request to the Registrar and to present the Divorce Agreement Letter which contains a settlement regarding personal assets, custody of children and other matters (if any).

If the couple file for divorce at different District Office, both parties must agree who shall file for divorce first and where. The couple is required to submit a request to the Registrar, as well as a Divorce Agreement Letter regarding assets, custody of children and other matters (if applicable).

If the couple are divorced by a court order, they are not required to register their divorce.

Required Documents

Identification Card.

Marriage Registration Certificate or House Registration Certificate.

Divorce Agreement Letter.

http://www.dopa.go.th/English/servi/divode.htm

[ianmccaig]

Hi can anyone help with the information I require, I have posted before regarding an uncontested divorce, thanks to everyone who took the time to reply, much appreciated.

I request what I think is a simple answer to my next question.

I have been with my Lady for four years now, I’m from the UK, she is a Thai National, and we married at the Amphur office in Bangkok, about 3 months ago.

But sadly our marriage has failed in that short time, I was with her for only three weeks in Thailand and it all went wrong. I’m still friendly with her now, and we have agreed to divorce.

The questions are, what are the required documents to go to the same Amphur office for an uncontested divorce.

I’m willing to give her, and this is by private arrangement, 100,000 Baht cash, pay her expences to change her ID card, passport name etc, to her previous maiden name, and give her 5000 Baht per month for a maximum of one year, just to help her until she finds a decent job, this is by our private arrangement, we are both OK with this, I believe she is OK with this, and I will honour our agreement.

We have no children or assets together in Thailand or the UK and we don’t need a lawyer regarding division of assets, but I believe we need a divorce agreement letter. Can anybody say if this is necessary.

We don’t want any complications mainly caused by Lawyers to justify their huge fees, just a simple go to the Amphur office sign a piece of paper with no complications, making it simple with no animosity, we are still friends.

Do I need a translator to go to the Amphur office with me, and do I have to get my passport authenticated at the British Consular Office, and stamped by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs?

Do I need a divorce agreement letter.

What do I do.

Can anyone please advice?

Thanks

Ian.

[Huayrat]

So for 4 years she basically played you being a nice girl till you married her... Dude thats along time and all i can say is unlucky you met a bad un

[ludditeman]

So for 4 years she basically played you being a nice girl till you married her... Dude thats along time and all i can say is unlucky you met a bad un

Just to remind you, statistically 50% worldwide turn out to be bad ones.

[Huayrat]

So for 4 years she basically played you being a nice girl till you married her... Dude thats along time and all i can say is unlucky you met a bad un

Just to remind you, statistically 50% worldwide turn out to be bad ones.

I feel for the guy, not nice at all,, goodluck to you sir in your future

[ianmccaig]

Posted A minute ago

Hi thanks for that information, we want to keep it simple, I understand we have to go to the Amphur office, but what I dont understand is what is the agreement letter we have to make, can't we just go to the office and do things verbally, I will give my lady the £2000 as agreed only when she sighns the divorce papers and she trusts me to send 5000Bht every month for the next year.

I dont know where to start with the agreement letter and is it compulsory for us to do it ? we want things very simple.

If the divorce agreement is required do we need a Layer, and go and have it traslated etc, I would like some step by step advice if anyone can give me that, I dont want it protracted and drawn out, its painfull enough as it is

Thanks

Ian

[Huayrat]

Posted A minute ago

Hi thanks for that information, we want to keep it simple, I understand we have to go to the Amphur office, but what I dont understand is what is the agreement letter we have to make, can't we just go to the office and do things verbally, I will give my lady the £2000 as agreed only when she sighns the divorce papers and she trusts me to send 5000Bht every month for the next year.

I dont know where to start with the agreement letter and is it compulsory for us to do it ? we want things very simple.

If the divorce agreement is required do we need a Layer, and go and have it traslated etc, I would like some step by step advice if anyone can give me that, I dont want it protracted and drawn out, its painfull enough as it is

Thanks

Ian

Dont pay the 5000baht for 1 year.. fuc_k her she played u for 4 years give her nothing

[ludditeman]

Posted A minute ago

Hi thanks for that information, we want to keep it simple, I understand we have to go to the Amphur office, but what I dont understand is what is the agreement letter we have to make, can't we just go to the office and do things verbally, I will give my lady the £2000 as agreed only when she sighns the divorce papers and she trusts me to send 5000Bht every month for the next year.

I dont know where to start with the agreement letter and is it compulsory for us to do it ? we want things very simple.

If the divorce agreement is required do we need a Layer, and go and have it traslated etc, I would like some step by step advice if anyone can give me that, I dont want it protracted and drawn out, its painfull enough as it is

Thanks

Ian

I don't understand why you want to give her money, you don't have to do that, being married is more a problem for you than for her. No agreement letter is required by the Amphur office. If you want to give her cash as an inducement to sign the papers, agree to do it after the divorce is done.

How it works

I want along as the Thai/English interpreter for a couple a few months back (the head of the Amphur office may well insist on you having a representative who can speak Thai, present at the divorce to ensure you know what is happening, a friend of hers won't do but will be needed as the second witness)

There are three main points the boss will want you to understand.

1) Do you both freely agree to the divorce

2) Are there any children (in common) to take care of

3) Are there any joint assets to be divided

After answering yes, no, no the divorce is done, you sign the papers, you are given your divorce certificate.

Documents you need to take with you (plus two photocopies of each)

1) One of the original marriage certificates

2) Her house Book

3) Her ID card

4) Your passport

5) ID card/passport of both witnesses

In and out in about 30 minutes, cost is about 50bht, very easy process

The guy I went with stopped at an ATM and gave her 30kb on the way home, just so she signed the papers hassle free.

Expenses to change ID card and passport

ID card can be done at the Amphur office where her house book is registered, cost 30bht

Passport, I think she needs a new one, 1000bht

She is under no obligation to change her name back, she can keep your name after the divorce.

Edited January 9, 2012 by ludditeman

[ludditeman]

PS

Don't forget to get a certified translation of the divorce certificate to take back to the UK.

About 100bht from any translation office in Thailand.

Certified just means a stamp from the translator saying "I certify this to be a true translation" with his signature and the date written on it.

[Mario2008]

I don't think that is na certified document for use in the UK. For that it will also need to be legalized by the Thai Foreign Ministry and the embassy in BKK,

[ianmccaig]

Thanks a million Guys for the advice, simple as that, where would I get a translator from ?

Ian

[Mario2008]

Near embassies and near the THai MFA consular section are several translation agencies. Should cost about 300 to 400 baht. Especially near your own embassy they will have the format on file, so they just have to add the relevant data.