Hire Girls To Help Me Lose Weight (Suggestions Wanted)

[olindacat]

Any advice regarding what I hpe to accomplish is appreciated. Here is my idea:

Part One: Shed the outer layer

1. Book a room with cash and points in Chiang Mai for five weeks. Spend first week getting organized, next four on 'program'.

2. 30 day fast. I have done Arise 'n Shine's fast in the past. Very good and works. BUT, you get bored easily and need distraction. Wandering around twon is not a good idea because there are too many temptations. You need to hole up in a compound. Read a lot, get massages, etc. Hence the need for a helper. (I prefer women over me. That's just my preference.)

3. Yoga, massage, raw, other. Okay, so what do I want a girl for? Well, to distract me from wanting to eat, primarily. I need company. I also have to do two coffee colonics a day and that is a big job. I also need massage. I can east some raw fruits and veggies so I'd need help with that. Taking care of my laundry, and just being there. If she can ride a bike maybe light cycling. Or, use the gym and help me stretch.

Essentially, a detox spa will charge $5-6K a month or more to provide: a room, and the above. I can get a room at Le Meridien Chiang Mai for very little if I use cash and points. Like 25% of that. So, that leaves me with a budget of over $3k. If I paid a girl 20000-30000THB would that suffice? Are there human resources up in Chiang Mai that would go for this?

Part Two: Going deeper

1. Bike tours also run in the thousands. Why should I pay that?? I'll have my bike in the hotel. I'll check out and hit the road for the next two months and tour Asia.

2. I can rough it and use any number of routes and guides published online. Or, I can bring along a helper, as in what I propose above, to take up the slack. This is more appealing because you have a translator or sorts, and this person can do a lot in terms of ensuring we don't get lost, hurt, eat bad food, etc.

3. I'd pay her the same as above, if that is enough or too much.

Any help or advice is much-appreiated. I've placed an ad here. Is there any other place I should advertise?

Is this too far-fetched?

[Thaddeus]

You need help..... urgently.

[olindacat]

Wow. Because I want to get fit and have a plan? Or, because I want a female assistant? Oh, and yes, I agree. I do need help. ASAP! Thank you very much.

You need help..... urgently.

[waza]

Wow. Because I want to get fit and have a plan? Or, because I want a female assistant? Oh, and yes, I agree. I do need help. ASAP! Thank you very much.

You need help..... urgently.

Good plan but it might be advantageous to become a yaba addict, take as many as you can afford for about 4 weeks then go cold turkey. While your on them you wont feel hungry and will party a lot. Then when you give them up you will be so distracted by withdrawls you will forget to eat. Having a girl will help, try one thats a yaba dealer. Dont worry if the BIB catch you cos a spell in the Bangkok Hilton will aid in the weight loss.(sarcasm)

[Hooters]

why dont you just limit fatty foods , stop the piss and hit the gym sooooo much less drama and just as effective as long as its a lifestyle change

[olindacat]

If I was a type B I could do it. I haven't had real time off since 2000. Back then, I was 270 and took off four months, quit drinking, eating garbage, and walked, then ran, then biked, then swam and did hit the gym. The rest of the year I only wored one of three months so I could exercise from 4am until 11am daily. Of course, I had a condo on the beach and was 37. Now I dont have a year. I have about three months. I was going to do a 3 week fast/cleanse and pedal across Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam and then up to Shanghai. Then fly back east and do a trans am bike. I think I'll be able to lose half-to-one pound a day. I am 300. I am hoping to get down under 200. I work very long hours and yes, do need to change my habits, but the worst is eating after I am finished with work. I do this because if I eat during working hours it knocks me out. I can't afford that. So, I hold off until I'm done, which is typically 2-3am. Also, past injuries on the tennis course keep me from being able to run (back). So, bike or swim are my best options and I hate the controlled drowning and repetition of laps in a pool. I'll do it, but not 6 hours a day. Biking I can handle. Odds are I won't have the luxury of having my cake here. Probably better I go it alone, but would try having help because it is, after all, a vacation.

why dont you just limit fatty foods , stop the piss and hit the gym sooooo much less drama and just as effective as long as its a lifestyle change

[mikecwm]

Crash diets never work in the long term. The weight goes straight back on again + more.

Why not slowly change your diet, lifestyle, excercise etc?

Change slowly so that the new regime becomes habit.

Several times I have lost 15 to 20 lbs quickly (various reasons - climbing Mt McKinley, doing the Lemonade diet twice http://themastercleanse.org/

Each time within a month I put the weight back on.

But - if staying in a hotel room for a month with a hottie turns you on - go for it.

I seriously doubt you'll manage to persuade said hottie to follow you on a bike across SE Asia though.

I'd love to read your diary if you manage it.

Good luck.

[Briggsy]

mikecwm is correct.

If you want to lose weight, aim to eat 2,000 calories a day, anything significantly less will only result in your body going into starvation mode. It will then pile the weight back on immediately.

If you want to ride your bike across Asia, go for it. Losing weight will be a positive side effect. But trying to lose weight by riding across Asia means you have got it the wrong way round.

Excuse me for being harsh, but I notice you have reduced everything to a monetary value. You have been hanging out with Asians of the shallow variety too much. You are sounding Chinese. Reassess your priorities. Also, your reasons for being fat are a litany of lame excuses.

[peergin]

More and more doctors are advising against detoxing. They say it is dangerous. I suggest you have a look at the Mayo Clinic's website.

[olindacat]

Crash diets never work in the long term. The weight goes straight back on again + more.

I agree with you on this IF I were to return to the lifesyle I have become accustomed to. However, when I was 27 I was 240. I owned a fleet service biz and was stressed and working wild hours and drinking and eating garbage. I sold my share, took an apartment in a small town on the Jersey shore, and pedaled to a neighboring twon's golf course and caddied that summer. I ate NOTHING while lugging bags all day. Then pedaled home and at a can of tuna. In two months I lost 70 lbs and was fit as a fiddle. I kept that off, living very clean, for years. It wasn't until I got myself back into a high stress environment that I started with the booze and bad eathing again. THAT was the cause of the regain. At 37 I had a major reduction in stress and essentially repeated the process except doing my own exercise regimine and no eathing. Kept it off for years until the the toll of post 911 client losses had me doing the work of the 5 laid off employees and I was once-again super stressed.

But - if staying in a hotel room for a month with a hottie turns you on - go for it.

I thought having my own little harem for distraction might be fun, but it is seeming less attractive or feasible as an option, given the feedback and also just the 'drama' as Hooter points out.

I seriously doubt you'll manage to persuade said hottie to follow you on a bike across SE Asia though. I'd love to read your diary if you manage it.

Go to crazyguyonabike dot com to read my journal. I'll start it in two weeks. I totally agree. I will not find anyone nor do I want the hassle of dealing with anyone's needs or agendas.

If you want to lose weight, aim to eat 2,000 calories a day, anything significantly less will only result in your body going into starvation mode. It will then pile the weight back on immediately.

I disagree. I think fasting is a very good thing for the body. I do agree with having a low caloric intake over the long haul. So, as I mentioned earlier, the plan was to do the fast and then do the bike. During the bike, I would not be fasting and would eat raw food only. Calorie-wis, it would be far below my output and hence, I should lose my goal onf .5 - 1.0 lbs a day.

But trying to lose weight by riding across Asia means you have got it the wrong way round.

I need to take my mind off of food or booze or anything that might enable me to partake. The bike ride is a distraction. I live on a volcano and ride up and down and across it and (if I had the luxury of time and no clients breathing down my back every hour) I'd stay home and just crank out the miles and burn it off there. By choosing a distant destination, and forcing myself to get there, I accomplish a radical increase in exercise, done daily, and with less time for sitting around like I am now on a keyboard. How do I have it 'wrong'?

Excuse me for being harsh, but I notice you have reduced everything to a monetary value. You have been hanging out with Asians of the shallow variety too much. You are sounding Chinese.

The only thing I am reducing to a menetary value is what I think I have to pay for. I think it is common sense to have a budget, to be 'concerned' about costs. If that is a shallow, Asian, or Chinese-only virtue in your opinion, you are entitled to it. I respectfully disagree.

Reassess your priorities. Also, your reasons for being fat are a litany of lame excuses.

In your opinion my 'excuses' are that. IMHO, and I know myself a little better than you do, my 'excuses' are explanations for background purposes only. I did not post here to be judged as 'lame' or otherwise by you or anyone else. Think about how you want to be treated before you render your opinions. I have an addictive type A personality. I USE stress as a reason for falling off the wagon. That is a mental bug in my ststem that has been addressed 1000s of times in other venues trust me. It is what it is. A personality flaw. You call my situation or 'excuses' 'lame'. I think all humans are 'lame' at some point or another, except, of course, you sir.

[olindacat]

I will not do a long fast. Instead, I will bracket seven days of fasting with three or four of raw foods. I will not hire anyone to keep me company. That was a bad idea to post here. Thanks for the feedback regarding the Mayo clinic, peergin. Fasting has been a controversial topic for ages and continues to be. I think each person's approach or journey is subject a lot of variables and for some it may be the only way, whereas with others not. Thanks for you input.

More and more doctors are advising against detoxing. They say it is dangerous. I suggest you have a look at the Mayo Clinic's website.

[Penefattore]

You need help..... urgently.

agree.

To the OP I suggest to hire a girl from the junction between Beach Road and Soi 10, give her 1,000 baht and tell her to go to buy yaba for both. Repeat the procedure until you reach the desired weight.

[mikecwm]

Go to crazyguyonabike dot com to read my journal. I'll start it in two weeks. I totally agree. I will not find anyone nor do I want the hassle of dealing with anyone's needs or agendas.

I've bookmarked the web page - now you have someone watching to check up on you (maybe a good idea to help you with your intentions).

Maybe you have a future writing of your adventures. (I still prefer the idea of a Thai hottie riding behind you).

I once spent 4 months cycling round New Zealand with my girlfriend. Those memories are still vivid even 30 years later.

Good luck.

[Thaddeus]

And now we move on to the second round of Tvf's favourite quiz.....

Is the OP a ..........

a. fat prat with nothing else to do.

b. a perv looking for justification for his antics.

c. a troll.

d. dumb.

e. all of the above.

[olindacat]

Go to crazyguyonabike dot com to read my journal. I'll start it in two weeks. I totally agree. I will not find anyone nor do I want the hassle of dealing with anyone's needs or agendas.

I've bookmarked the web page - now you have someone watching to check up on you (maybe a good idea to help you with your intentions).

Maybe you have a future writing of your adventures. (I still prefer the idea of a Thai hottie riding behind you).

I once spent 4 months cycling round New Zealand with my girlfriend. Those memories are still vivid even 30 years later.

Good luck.

Good. I'll be posting a link here to the journal. I would prefer to ride behind her ;-) Who knows, maybe things will evolve differently, but after reading a ot of the journals of other riders, I think the heat and bonking I'll likely experience from feeding off my own blubber, as opposed to chicken parts, may dull my wish to ignore the four noble truths...

[olindacat]

And now we move on to the second round of Tvf's favourite quiz.....

Is the OP a ..........

a. fat prat with nothing else to do.

b. a perv looking for justification for his antics.

c. a troll.

d. dumb.

e. all of the above.

f. genuinely seeking useful advice and not here to have my balls busted by know-it-all veteran posters.

[olindacat]

hahahahaha, very funny. Thanks for the help.

You need help..... urgently.

agree.

To the OP I suggest to hire a girl from the junction between Beach Road and Soi 10, give her 1,000 baht and tell her to go to buy yaba for both. Repeat the procedure until you reach the desired weight.

[Thaddeus]

Go to crazyguyonabike dot com to read my journal. I'll start it in two weeks. I totally agree. I will not find anyone nor do I want the hassle of dealing with anyone's needs or agendas.

I've bookmarked the web page - now you have someone watching to check up on you (maybe a good idea to help you with your intentions).

Maybe you have a future writing of your adventures. (I still prefer the idea of a Thai hottie riding behind you).

I once spent 4 months cycling round New Zealand with my girlfriend. Those memories are still vivid even 30 years later.

Good luck.

I would prefer to ride behind her ;-) Who knows, maybe things will evolve differently, but after reading a ot of the journals of other riders, I think the heat and bonking I'll likely experience from feeding off my own blubber, as opposed to chicken parts, may dull my wish to ignore the four noble truths...

I rest my case.

[olindacat]

Right.... A sense of humor and you anoint me. Well done. With 9K posts here obviously this is your home. I admit I am a newbie here, but not to forums in general. Your type exists on all of them. You' are what keeps new people away. You won't succeed with me. Just keep it polite and mind your manners, Thaddeus. You may have your following, but don't think you're a rock star. You're not.

Go to crazyguyonabike dot com to read my journal. I'll start it in two weeks. I totally agree. I will not find anyone nor do I want the hassle of dealing with anyone's needs or agendas.

I've bookmarked the web page - now you have someone watching to check up on you (maybe a good idea to help you with your intentions).

Maybe you have a future writing of your adventures. (I still prefer the idea of a Thai hottie riding behind you).

I once spent 4 months cycling round New Zealand with my girlfriend. Those memories are still vivid even 30 years later.

Good luck.

I would prefer to ride behind her ;-) Who knows, maybe things will evolve differently, but after reading a ot of the journals of other riders, I think the heat and bonking I'll likely experience from feeding off my own blubber, as opposed to chicken parts, may dull my wish to ignore the four noble truths...

I rest my case.

Edited February 12, 2012 by olindacat

[Thaddeus]

Right.... A sense of humor and you anoint me. Well done. With 9K posts here obviously this is your home. I admit I am a newbie here, but not to forums in general. Your type exists on all of them. You' are what keeps new people away. You won't succeed with me. Just keep it polite and mind your manners, Thaddeus. You may have your following, but don't think you're a rock star. You're not.

Oh purleeze, grow up.

[robblok]

Right.... A sense of humor and you anoint me. Well done. With 9K posts here obviously this is your home. I admit I am a newbie here, but not to forums in general. Your type exists on all of them. You' are what keeps new people away. You won't succeed with me. Just keep it polite and mind your manners, Thaddeus. You may have your following, but don't think you're a rock star. You're not.

Oh purleeze, grow up.

Sorry but your whole idea was just a bit crazy. So don't look supprised when some shoots its down. Sounded indeed like you needed a full service girl.

Anyway if you really want to loose weight just start with a good diet, and do some exercise. I know i have done it before and am doing it again. Those crash diets might wreck you totally.

Just lift weights, do cardio and mind your food intake. There are nice apps like calorie count that help a lot. That is if you prepare your own food.

[NancyL]

OK, I'm going to offer a different perspective. Some aspects of the OP's plan sound good. Frankly, finding a willing Thai partner to help with his indoor exercise program sounds good. Just wear protection and don't expect her to do a triathlon outdoors. Those are different skill sets. Just be up-front with someone about why you're employing her services. Many Thai ladies are concerned about becoming fat and would be willing to live off som tam for a while, especially if they're getting a good salary.

Now the rest of the program sounds like a recipe for disaster, if continued for more than a few days. What you could do in your twenties is W-A-Y different than what you can do when you're older. At some point, cardiac issues may arise, especially with twice-daily coffee colonics. Frankly, after one colonic, why do you need another one if you're watching your diet?

It's always nice to have a weight-loss partner, but don't expect them to be a skilled medical professional!

Le Meriden CM is a great place to do this, but be aware there are too many temptations for food and drink just steps away. Don't leave the room or the pool!

Edited February 15, 2012 by NancyL

[olindacat]

Hi Nancy:

First-off thanks for the constructive comments. A few things I should elaborate on:

1) I am not looking for a hooker. I have hired girls on Maui to cook, clean, massage and keep me company before. Like many here, I own my own biz and work often until 2-3 am and that's typically when I'll eat. The idea of having some sort of companion is to break up my lifestyle by having that interjectiion. If Someone shows up at 7 am and is running the juicer when I get up, I'm skipping the coffee. If every hour or two a piece of cut fruit or a small salad is handeed to me, I'd eat it. If I am told, 'time toa wlak, let's go' I'll go. If not, I'll stick to my patterns and work, non-stop, for days on end. I got a massive blood clot doing this when I worked 72 hours non-stop. Some of us really do have to work that much, especially when we pay ourselves 50 cents an hour with hopes of succeeding. (For those who wish to snipe, I've had my own biz sine 1987 and there are ups and downs. If you've had a steady job your whole life, God bless you. NOt all of us are so lucky.)

2) If labor was cheap on Maui, and I could afford it, I'd stay here! Frankly, the hourly rates in SE Asia are lower, I need the help for more than a week, so why not Thailand? It is a much more built up place than Vietnam.

3) I can see what you mean about different skillsets. I have already decided to skip the notion of touring with anyone. I am too old and fat to hook up with real riders, and odds are i won't find anyone employable for that.

4) The colonics are done in the early morning and late PM. They are just for a week, ten days. The goal is to remove built up plaque in your intestines. I have done it before and it is very good for you. I was pushing 40, not in my 20s, when I last did this. There is a service in town that can do them.

5) I'm going to fly into BKK. Assemble my bike and stay at a nice hote, e.g., St. Regis. I'll get a few items locally like things for my bike and mosquito net and repellant, a water filter, iodine tablets. Then pedal out and head to Chiang Mai then Chaing Rai. Then Loaso, etc. I am working on doing some basic training this next two weeks to at least have a leg up. I will stay in Chiang Mai for a few days and do the colonics then, just a few days worth, then be gone.

No harm done. Nobody exploited as it appears some here thought was my motive.

OK, I'm going to offer a different perspective. Some aspects of the OP's plan sound good. Frankly, finding a willing Thai partner to help with his indoor exercise program sounds good. Just wear protection and don't expect her to do a triathlon outdoors. Those are different skill sets. Just be up-front with someone about why you're employing her services. Many Thai ladies are concerned about becoming fat and would be willing to live off som tam for a while, especially if they're getting a good salary.

Now the rest of the program sounds like a recipe for disaster, if continued for more than a few days. What you could do in your twenties is W-A-Y different than what you can do when you're older. At some point, cardiac issues may arise, especially with twice-daily coffee colonics. Frankly, after one colonic, why do you need another one if you're watching your diet?

It's always nice to have a weight-loss partner, but don't expect them to be a skilled medical professional!

Le Meriden CM is a great place to do this, but be aware there are too many temptations for food and drink just steps away. Don't leave the room or the pool!

[BKKdreaming]

I like the idea that you are trying to better yourself,

I hate the idea of a crash diet,

So a month or 2 BEFORE you leave start your "New" life ,

cut out the bad things , start drinking good stuff and start eating better,

Get a small fridge in your office , maybe a rice cooker and microwave ,

cook veggies and have with rice and a sauce you like, stuff like that ,

Get a stationary bike in the office and pedal some as you are talking on the phone.....

Then when you get to Thailand you are half way there.......

BK

ohhh and there is NO plaque in your interstines , thats just a marketing ploy

Edited February 16, 2012 by BKKdreaming

[robblok]

You sound like whatever you are going to loose you will get back quite fast. You really need to make some changes to keep it off. The way you talk about your work that its all consuming proves to me that you will fall back right in your old habits.

Just log your calories, get an idea of how much your overeating. Do some exercise (not for weight loss but for health benefits). Then after you logged your calories for a while you make changes and then you slowly loose your weight.

I know its frustrating. I wish i lost my weight in 2 weeks too, its not going to happen. All what you can loose is water weight and that wont help that much. Just be patient it took a long time to get this fat. It will take a long time to loose it.

Just go for 1-2 lb a week (0,5-1kg) go for a long term plan and you will loose your weight. I know how hard it is i have trouble with my weight too. I am now back to what i normally was but i want to be ripped so that means loosing a lot more. But i set myself till end of june to loose the last 10 kg.

Just set yourself realistic goals dont rush it.

And BKKdreaming is rightt about the plaque in your intestines its just a marketing ploy. Its proven time and again its a ploy. Just ask real doctors that use camera's to check people's intestines before operating on them.

[chiang mai]

Personally I'd use the Shangri-la and not Le Meridien, the gym's far better and the pool is 1000% nicer, actually, a far nicer hotel all round. But that still leaves the problem of nearby distractions, there's fewer near the Shangri-la but not exactly a desert. Got it, The Four Seasons in Mai Rim, excellent gym, lovely hotel, nothing even remotely nearby to distract but pleanty of long nature walks to be had - best budget a whole wad if you're going to stay for a month, breakfast of eggs benedict and french toast set us back THB 1,500 one day last week but the setting was wonderful and sometimes you have to do such foolish things, you will get the job done if you stay there.

[olindacat]

Maybe everyone here is right, but I typically have taken years to regain the weight. Also, I'm not looking to lose it in two weeks! I ust wanted to kick off the bike tour with a fast and raw foods. Like this, I'm somewhat lighter during the three month trek.

I think half a pound a day over 90 days would be reasonable and when I return to the mainland US, I was going to spend another 90 doing what is called a Trans Am.

Well, we shall see. I know for a fact that our bodies actually strive to bring us back to our maximum weight as a matter of how we are wired. We have to fight that as well as about a 1% per year decline in metabolism after 30. What a nightmare!

[olindacat]

I'm a Starwood Plat member so Le Mer is only $30 a night with 1200 pts. I have a zillion pts. What I will probably do is stay in BKK for a few days to get my gear sorted out, pedal to CM, stay at LM, do a week of detox at Detox Chiang Mai, then head up to the north and get killed in the mountains. You can all have a good laugh when you read about my demise :-)

[robblok]

Maybe everyone here is right, but I typically have taken years to regain the weight. Also, I'm not looking to lose it in two weeks! I ust wanted to kick off the bike tour with a fast and raw foods. Like this, I'm somewhat lighter during the three month trek.

I think half a pound a day over 90 days would be reasonable and when I return to the mainland US, I was going to spend another 90 doing what is called a Trans Am.

Well, we shall see. I know for a fact that our bodies actually strive to bring us back to our maximum weight as a matter of how we are wired. We have to fight that as well as about a 1% per year decline in metabolism after 30. What a nightmare!

Sure i know about the fight its hard. However if you keep track of what you eat and work out its doable. I mean you can loose your weight now, its easier to maintain then to loose.

But it takes lifestyle changes, meaning changing what you eat and do. I know what my downfall has been. Last years flood when i was locked up and could not workout and started drinking because i was bored, then a months holiday with my parents with loads of food.. voila..

Its all about your food intake if you can keep that in check and make sure you don't drink too much your ok.

[DougF]

Hey Cat,

It's time to try something different. I understand. 1 year ago I was 278 lbs. and felt like crap. I discovered Mark's Daily Apple/Primal Blueprint http://www.marksdailyapple.com/primal-blueprint-101/ and have been steadily and easily losing weight. I am 235 now and feeling great. I am doing it the slow and easy way. I don't have to lose it quickly, but could do that if I choose to.

Spend some time reading this site. Go over everything there. You will see that this is genuine and it makes such perfect sense. Don't believe the American FDA or any of the the other bureaucratic health agencies that have a political agenda. Learn what it really takes to get healthy.

Also, you don't need to buy anything...this isn't some diet "come-on" where you have to pay money to anyone.

I get through the day very easily with this lifestyle. It really does work.

Good luck,

Doug

If I was a type B I could do it. I haven't had real time off since 2000. Back then, I was 270 and took off four months, quit drinking, eating garbage, and walked, then ran, then biked, then swam and did hit the gym. The rest of the year I only wored one of three months so I could exercise from 4am until 11am daily. Of course, I had a condo on the beach and was 37. Now I dont have a year. I have about three months. I was going to do a 3 week fast/cleanse and pedal across Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam and then up to Shanghai. Then fly back east and do a trans am bike. I think I'll be able to lose half-to-one pound a day. I am 300. I am hoping to get down under 200. I work very long hours and yes, do need to change my habits, but the worst is eating after I am finished with work. I do this because if I eat during working hours it knocks me out. I can't afford that. So, I hold off until I'm done, which is typically 2-3am. Also, past injuries on the tennis course keep me from being able to run (back). So, bike or swim are my best options and I hate the controlled drowning and repetition of laps in a pool. I'll do it, but not 6 hours a day. Biking I can handle. Odds are I won't have the luxury of having my cake here. Probably better I go it alone, but would try having help because it is, after all, a vacation.

why dont you just limit fatty foods , stop the piss and hit the gym sooooo much less drama and just as effective as long as its a lifestyle change