Ten Things You Will Never Hear In Thailand.........

[connda]

Chiang Mai Tuk Tuk Driver: "I'm sorry sir, but it illegal for me to take you on a tour. But I can take you to the TAT licensed tour operator down the street -- for fee!"

[connda]

Tuk Tuk Driver: "Why certainly I have change for 100 baht."

[connda]

Any Thai: "I love speaking English and I enjoy learning more about Western culture!"

[Fookhaht]

MICT: "All 100,000 blocked websites are now unblocked. Sorry for trampling all over your freedom of expression."

[andrew55]

Hilarious thread.

Sorry to use the emoticon (twice), but I do believe that I may have split my sides.

[connda]

Farang tourist: "Thailand businesses just have exceptional, world-class customer service. They're all just so cheerful and helpful."

[connda]

Farang tourist: "I didn't have any wait at Suvarnabhumi immigration when I arrived. The smiling immigration officer whisked me through in less than 30 seconds and wished me a pleasant stay in the Land of Smiles!"

[connda]

Animal trainer: "No, our tigers (crocodiles, monkeys, snakes) are well-fed and they never bite."

[spidermike007]

How about I am sorry? When is the last time you heard those words? It is impossible to say that, if you never make a mistake, or do anything wrong. Have you ever seen a people with more pride? And I am not talking about the kind of pride that compels you to do a great job, and do everything in your power to make sure your customers are happy. I am talking about the kind of pride that someone who cannot make a mistake feels.

[NewlyMintedThai]

How about I am sorry? When is the last time you heard those words? It is impossible to say that, if you never make a mistake, or do anything wrong. Have you ever seen a people with more pride? And I am not talking about the kind of pride that compels you to do a great job, and do everything in your power to make sure your customers are happy. I am talking about the kind of pride that someone who cannot make a mistake feels.

Heard it a few hours ago. A security guard was trying to address me as "you, you, you". I told him this was rude and that he should use "sir" or just "khun". He said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

[David48]

Hilarious thread.

Sorry to use the emoticon (twice), but I do believe that I may have split my sides.

'ole blether ... you are on to a winner with this post.

Want to start one with the 'What you would not hear a foreigner say in Thailand post?

... just to balance the arguement.

[andrew55]

I think it may be that you have found the exception to the rule . . . even educated Thais with good jobs that I know tend not to read a lot

I don't know what part of thailand you live in but Thais actually read quite a lot, bookshops are actually doing very good with Thai language books. so of course they may not read nietzche or kilkegaarde because its not in they scholar cursus at the contrary of european countries ( or truman Capote and John Fante for the american cursus) ... but they do have good authors like Piram Suda for instance who was nominated for the nobel prize of literature few years back...

I don't know what part of Thailand you live in but if local Thai are reading quite a lot I would suggest that you are in an atypical area of the Kingdom.

I spend time in various parts of Thailand. I never see anyone read for leisure. Certainly the luxury of devoting many hours to a good novel, or God/Buddha/Allah forbid a non-fiction is rarely heard of.

Maybe read for school, a published 'special' monk or female equivalent, maybe a comic.

Thrilled to hear that bookshops are doing well in your area in LOS. Reckon your's is the exception.

Please forgive off-topic drivel.

A.

[David48]

Heard it a few hours ago. A security guard was trying to address me as "you, you, you". I told him this was rude and that he should use "sir" or just "khun". He said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Actually, I am fairly sure that the word in Thai for slightly dumb or slow witted is 'Sir'.

So obviously he thought you were a smart man!

[how241]

Some funny but also true statements here.

[Yingrakwan]

One thing i RARELY hear on this Forum is COMPLETE respect for the country of Thailand and our Majesty. I hope to hear more love and kindness from all visitors to the Kingdom of Thailand...

[andrew55]

How about I am sorry? When is the last time you heard those words? It is impossible to say that, if you never make a mistake, or do anything wrong. Have you ever seen a people with more pride? And I am not talking about the kind of pride that compels you to do a great job, and do everything in your power to make sure your customers are happy. I am talking about the kind of pride that someone who cannot make a mistake feels.

Heard it a few hours ago. A security guard was trying to address me as "you, you, you". I told him this was rude and that he should use "sir" or just "khun". He said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Cultural misunderstanding I'd suggest.

'Sorry' is not often spoken in Thai except for a serious misdemeanor. If A thai bumps into me in they're more likely to say 'sorry' in English - trivial stuff. The Thai 'Ko tort khrup' (forgive spelling) is not heard. Same for 'good-bye' in Thai - rarely spoken. You might hear either said once a year.

Farang tend to over-use 'sorry'. We'll say it for anything. Not so here.

Your guard calling "You, you, you!" translates to something like "Hi, hi, hi!" I'd humbly suggest that you should try to understand that he was being polite enough, but you took it as English-speak and felt him rude. Ok that you've taught 'farang polite' but I believe you need to be more sensitive to the native polite.

Hope you don't mind the constructive criticism. I've not been without guilt in the assimilation thingy.

A.

[NewlyMintedThai]

How about I am sorry? When is the last time you heard those words? It is impossible to say that, if you never make a mistake, or do anything wrong. Have you ever seen a people with more pride? And I am not talking about the kind of pride that compels you to do a great job, and do everything in your power to make sure your customers are happy. I am talking about the kind of pride that someone who cannot make a mistake feels.

Heard it a few hours ago. A security guard was trying to address me as "you, you, you". I told him this was rude and that he should use "sir" or just "khun". He said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Cultural misunderstanding I'd suggest.

'Sorry' is not often spoken in Thai except for a serious misdemeanor. If A thai bumps into me in they're more likely to say 'sorry' in English - trivial stuff. The Thai 'Ko tort khrup' (forgive spelling) is not heard. Same for 'good-bye' in Thai - rarely spoken. You might hear either said once a year.

Farang tend to over-use 'sorry'. We'll say it for anything. Not so here.

Your guard calling "You, you, you!" translates to something like "Hi, hi, hi!" I'd humbly suggest that you should try to understand that he was being polite enough, but you took it as English-speak and felt him rude. Ok that you've taught 'farang polite' but I believe you need to be more sensitive to the native polite.

Hope you don't mind the constructive criticism. I've not been without guilt in the assimilation thingy.

A.

Thanks for the constructive criticism, but I have been in Thailand for well over 20 years and speak Thai fluently. I am well aware he was not intending to be rude, and my correcting him was in order that he not run the risk of offending other farangs who might not.

[JannoDL]

TV-Member: I live in Thailand because i love the country and its people, and i would never say anything negative about that subject.

[JannoDL]

Car salesman: Off course you can test drive this 3 million thb, car before you commit to buying it.

[andrew55]

One thing i RARELY hear on this Forum is COMPLETE respect for the country of Thailand and our Majesty. I hope to hear more love and kindness from all visitors to the Kingdom of Thailand...

"COMPLETE respect" is a big order Khun Yingrakwan.

I have tremendous respect for the country of Thailand. The love and kindness that I live with here continually astounds me.

I am truly grateful to Thailand and her people for allowing me the opportunity to have spent some years of my life as a guest of the Kingdom.

But things ain't perfect dude. Surely all are entitled to give opinions on a forum - good/bad, useful/useless, insightful or ignorant. Discussion.

I have complete respect for Your Majesty, but would suggest we leave the reverred monarchy aside.

[andrew55]

How about I am sorry? When is the last time you heard those words? It is impossible to say that, if you never make a mistake, or do anything wrong. Have you ever seen a people with more pride? And I am not talking about the kind of pride that compels you to do a great job, and do everything in your power to make sure your customers are happy. I am talking about the kind of pride that someone who cannot make a mistake feels.

Heard it a few hours ago. A security guard was trying to address me as "you, you, you". I told him this was rude and that he should use "sir" or just "khun". He said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Cultural misunderstanding I'd suggest.

'Sorry' is not often spoken in Thai except for a serious misdemeanor. If A thai bumps into me in they're more likely to say 'sorry' in English - trivial stuff. The Thai 'Ko tort khrup' (forgive spelling) is not heard. Same for 'good-bye' in Thai - rarely spoken. You might hear either said once a year.

Farang tend to over-use 'sorry'. We'll say it for anything. Not so here.

Your guard calling "You, you, you!" translates to something like "Hi, hi, hi!" I'd humbly suggest that you should try to understand that he was being polite enough, but you took it as English-speak and felt him rude. Ok that you've taught 'farang polite' but I believe you need to be more sensitive to the native polite.

Hope you don't mind the constructive criticism. I've not been without guilt in the assimilation thingy.

A.

Thanks for the constructive criticism, but I have been in Thailand for well over 20 years and speak Thai fluently. I am well aware he was not intending to be rude, and my correcting him was in order that he not run the risk of offending other farangs who might not.

My post must have seemed patronising to a veteran of well over 20 years. I hope no offence taken - none intended.

May I ask if my translation of 'You, you,you" was near the mark? I declare that I asked my wise and all knowing wife- who has been known to err. I often have that said when I'm being called over for a Lao Kow with the boys. Never thought they were meaning to be offensive.

[NewlyMintedThai]

My post must have seemed patronising to a veteran of well over 20 years. I hope no offence taken - none intended.

May I ask if my translation of 'You, you,you" was near the mark? I declare that I asked my wise and all knowing wife- who has been known to err. I often have that said when I'm being called over for a Lao Kow with the boys. Never thought they were meaning to be offensive.

No offense taken.

Your lao kao boys were certainly not intending to be offensive.

Had it been a Thai, they would likely have said "p'ee, p'ee, p'ee" if you were older than them, or "nong, nong, nong" if you were younger.

[andrew55]

My post must have seemed patronising to a veteran of well over 20 years. I hope no offence taken - none intended.

May I ask if my translation of 'You, you,you" was near the mark? I declare that I asked my wise and all knowing wife- who has been known to err. I often have that said when I'm being called over for a Lao Kow with the boys. Never thought they were meaning to be offensive.

No offense taken.

Your lao kao boys were certainly not intending to be offensive.

Had it been a Thai, they would likely have said "p'ee, p'ee, p'ee" if you were older than them, or "nong, nong, nong" if you were younger.

Don't recal often getting a "Nong"

I wish I got "p'ee, p'ee".

I get "Tar, Tar!!" very loudly coz they assume 'chi cherah' not hear too good. Wife get 'yai' from old folks.

[carmine]

One thing i RARELY hear on this Forum is COMPLETE respect for the country of Thailand and our Majesty. I hope to hear more love and kindness from all visitors to the Kingdom of Thailand...

I think you are a troll.

[smokie36]

One thing i RARELY hear on this Forum is COMPLETE respect for the country of Thailand and our Majesty. I hope to hear more love and kindness from all visitors to the Kingdom of Thailand...

I think you are a troll.

Indeed carmine.

Yingrakwan....please do not try to hijack or close this thread.

[carmine]

One thing i RARELY hear on this Forum is COMPLETE respect for the country of Thailand and our Majesty. I hope to hear more love and kindness from all visitors to the Kingdom of Thailand...

I think you are a troll.

Indeed carmine.

Yingrakwan....please do not try to hijack or close this thread.

Yes please don't because its a great deal more amusing than your trollish attempts yingy.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I don't know what part of thailand you live in but Thais actually read quite a lot, bookshops are actually doing very good with Thai language books. so of course they may not read nietzche or kilkegaarde because its not in they scholar cursus at the contrary of european countries ( or truman Capote and John Fante for the american cursus) ... but they do have good authors like Piram Suda for instance who was nominated for the nobel prize of literature few years back...

Pile of rubbish all round, very very few Thais read extensively, I'd say less than 1% read by choice more than ten hours per year. Many farang don't read much either, especially in recent generations, but I don't know anyone back home who doesn't read at least a few books per year - that's real books, hundreds of pages of just words, not comic books or glossy magazines.

Over the years I've accumulated about half a shipping container's worth of books, and hope to one day open a second-hand book/coffeeshop. Most Thais when encountering my collection will ask something along the lines of "I can help you get rid of those", and I found out they mean sell them to the scrap recycler for pulping by the kg!

Regarding Pira, the Nobel Committee does not publicize the identities of any nominees for a period of fifty years after voting. There is no way to know who was nominated for a given Nobel Prize, and just because someone in a position of sufficient prestige in Thailand nominated him doesn't mean he's all that great.

OK for entertainment and learning about what the culture of Isaan used to be like, but not world-class from a literary POV.

[carmine]

I don't know what part of thailand you live in but Thais actually read quite a lot, bookshops are actually doing very good with Thai language books. so of course they may not read nietzche or kilkegaarde because its not in they scholar cursus at the contrary of european countries ( or truman Capote and John Fante for the american cursus) ... but they do have good authors like Piram Suda for instance who was nominated for the nobel prize of literature few years back...

Pile of rubbish all round, very very few Thais read extensively, I'd say less than 1% read by choice more than ten hours per year. Many farang don't read much either, especially in recent generations, but I don't know anyone back home who doesn't read at least a few books per year - that's real books, hundreds of pages of just words, not comic books or glossy magazines.

Over the years I've accumulated about half a shipping container's worth of books, and hope to one day open a second-hand book/coffeeshop. Most Thais when encountering my collection will ask something along the lines of "I can help you get rid of those", and I found out they mean sell them to the scrap recycler for pulping by the kg!

Regarding Pira, the Nobel Committee does not publicize the identities of any nominees for a period of fifty years after voting. There is no way to know who was nominated for a given Nobel Prize, and just because someone in a position of sufficient prestige in Thailand nominated him doesn't mean he's all that great.

OK for entertainment and learning about what the culture of Isaan used to be like, but not world-class from a literary POV.

I don't wish this to be deemed critical but in nearly eight years i don't remember ever seeing a thai read a book.

Just an observation so please don't bother to flame!

[smokie36]

I don't know what part of thailand you live in but Thais actually read quite a lot, bookshops are actually doing very good with Thai language books. so of course they may not read nietzche or kilkegaarde because its not in they scholar cursus at the contrary of european countries ( or truman Capote and John Fante for the american cursus) ... but they do have good authors like Piram Suda for instance who was nominated for the nobel prize of literature few years back...

Pile of rubbish all round, very very few Thais read extensively, I'd say less than 1% read by choice more than ten hours per year. Many farang don't read much either, especially in recent generations, but I don't know anyone back home who doesn't read at least a few books per year - that's real books, hundreds of pages of just words, not comic books or glossy magazines.

Over the years I've accumulated about half a shipping container's worth of books, and hope to one day open a second-hand book/coffeeshop. Most Thais when encountering my collection will ask something along the lines of "I can help you get rid of those", and I found out they mean sell them to the scrap recycler for pulping by the kg!

Regarding Pira, the Nobel Committee does not publicize the identities of any nominees for a period of fifty years after voting. There is no way to know who was nominated for a given Nobel Prize, and just because someone in a position of sufficient prestige in Thailand nominated him doesn't mean he's all that great.

OK for entertainment and learning about what the culture of Isaan used to be like, but not world-class from a literary POV.

I don't wish this to be deemed critical but in nearly eight years i don't remember ever seeing a thai read a book.

Just an observation so please don't bother to flame!

I can think of one Thai lassie who reads all the time.

[StreetCowboy]

I don't know what part of thailand you live in but Thais actually read quite a lot, bookshops are actually doing very good with Thai language books. so of course they may not read nietzche or kilkegaarde because its not in they scholar cursus at the contrary of european countries ( or truman Capote and John Fante for the american cursus) ... but they do have good authors like Piram Suda for instance who was nominated for the nobel prize of literature few years back...

Pile of rubbish all round, very very few Thais read extensively, I'd say less than 1% read by choice more than ten hours per year. Many farang don't read much either, especially in recent generations, but I don't know anyone back home who doesn't read at least a few books per year - that's real books, hundreds of pages of just words, not comic books or glossy magazines.

Over the years I've accumulated about half a shipping container's worth of books, and hope to one day open a second-hand book/coffeeshop. Most Thais when encountering my collection will ask something along the lines of "I can help you get rid of those", and I found out they mean sell them to the scrap recycler for pulping by the kg!

Regarding Pira, the Nobel Committee does not publicize the identities of any nominees for a period of fifty years after voting. There is no way to know who was nominated for a given Nobel Prize, and just because someone in a position of sufficient prestige in Thailand nominated him doesn't mean he's all that great.

OK for entertainment and learning about what the culture of Isaan used to be like, but not world-class from a literary POV.

I don't wish this to be deemed critical but in nearly eight years i don't remember ever seeing a thai read a book.

Just an observation so please don't bother to flame!

I can think of one Thai lassie who reads all the time.

I don't remember seeing a Thai reading a book, but I put that down to Alzheimers' rather than anything else...

If it were not so common, I am sure I would have remembered the odd occasion.

I can't remember the last time I saw a farang reading a book in Thailand, nor the last time I saw a chap wearing a baseball cap, but I am equally sure I have seen both.

SC