Bar Girls, Good Or Bad? Hmmm

[Vas26]

Once upon a time in Phuket...

While strolling down Bangala road, beers in hand, my friend happened to spot a cute little bar girl standing in front of one of the newer venues, who greatly resembled my x gf. I found this to be quite amusing and decided to go up to take some pictures with her so that i could post them up as good laughs on facebook! But what started out as a joke soon developed into some strange romance...

First let me begin by saying that i'm in no way a sex tourist. I'm 25 years old, and in very good shape, going to the gym 4 - 5 days/week, so i don't really have a problem getting girls back home, unlike some of the typical figures you see at the go go bars in Thailand. However i have read lots about bar girls before going on on my trip and the curiosity was killing me to learn more about these girls.

The bar girl who i met on the first night proved to be very typical and dissapointing.... I paid the bar fine and told her that i wanted her to show me around Phuket but that i do not do "boom boom". It seemed ok with her just for the first day and day 2 she ended up freaking out on me, saying that i don't like her and blah blah blah. So i ended up ditching her. Really i just wanted her as a sidekick since my friend was being lame and not going out at night. Also she was a good protection from all the tuck tuck, suit, and massage hasstles because she would tell them off in thai and they wouldn't bother me. haha

So before i met my special bar girl, my Phuket nights were quite predictable. I would pound some changs with my friend, hit up one of the bars, find a good spot to sit and once all that was dealt with, i would ask them to bust out the "jenga"! And trust me i became amazing at jenga! I figured this was my only way to hustle the bar girls back and get free drinks since they always tried to hustle me for drinks. Smart! I learned from the first night not to play them in "connect 4" since they knew every possible combination... haha

What surprised me about my special bar girl (the x gf lookalike), is that when the first night came to an end with the bars closing and the drunk tourists heading home, she did not come after me in an attempt to get me to take her home. Instead she kind of ran away from me :S. This fact alone sparked my interest, since every other bar girl from the nights before tried to go home with me. So the following night i came back to the same bar looking for her! She saw me from across the bar and waved to me, she was definitely happy to see me as i was to see her! I spent a full night at her bar and blew some cash. All her friends seemed to like me as well, one kept saying "you are a good man", although they seemed to pronounce my name in a very funny way. haha

The next night, was our last in Phuket since me and my friend were heading to ralley beach to do some rock climbing. I decided to see my bar girl for one last time and say goodbye. I had bought a cute pink hat and pink watch during the day to give her as gifts since i saw that she loves hats, but probably has no money to buy any. She would always steal the hat from my friend and he would get angry lol She was super sad that i was leaving, but i told her i will come back in 4 months. She cried. She gave me her special ring which barely fit on my pinky finger, with her fingers being much smaller than mine. And i left....

A week later, after finishing up some intense rock climbing at ralley beach me and my friend had a crazy plan to catch a plane to chiang mai + bus to chiang rai and attempt to live with one of the hill tribes. We have met someone in ko phangan (a farrang) who has done that and told us about his experience. We decided that our last week in Thailand will be dedicated to learning about the country and the culture and not just doing touristic bs. So i bought 2 plane tickets to Chiang Mai, only to find out later that my friend is bailing on his plane ticket and is going back to Ko Phangan for some strange reason. (perhaps he couldn't handle "the real Thailand") But the thing is, our plane was leaving from Phuket airoport so my friend suggested that we get to Phuket the night before and party hard one more time before splitting up. I liked that idea and was excited to seeing my bar girl again!

11:30 Pm we arrive at our new hotel near bangala road. Actually we hired a privet taxi from Au Nang to Phuket for 2500 baht. The guy was crazy, driving wrecklessly while on his cell phone and he ended up droping us off at a hotel which wasn't even ours about 30 minutes from Patong Beach and giving us a mysterious envelope with 1200 baht inside. haha So we took another cab... The second driver was struggling to find our hotel and it was stressing me out because it was getting late. 12:30 am Finally! We were on bangala road and heading to reunite with my bar girl!

She spotted me and was very surprised to see me. Ran up to me, ditching all her current customers and gave me one of the longest hugs i've ever had. I spent the rest of the night at her bar, buying her drinks and hustling her friends for drinks for me and my buddy with my superior jenga skills! Suddenly, a strange idea came to me, and before the bar closed down, i ended up asking this girl to come with me to Chiang Mai! She said Yes! And also she said she would take me to her village which was near Surin, (north east). Of course i had to pay her boss the bar fine (1000 baht) per day of her being away. So i paid up for one week.

At first i thought she ditched me. She was taking so long to get ready while i was waiting for her at the bar. But you know how girls are with getting ready... lol Finally i see her sprinting around the corner with her little suitcase, dressed all modestly, not in a skimpy outfit which she usually wears while dancing. She apologized and we headed to our hotel. She didn't want to go to sleep since she was all wired from the red bull vodkas that i bought her, instead she started playing cards with her girlfriend who came along to our hotel. She said she's going somewhere with her gf and told me to go to sleep and that she will be back. I thought she ditched me again! When i woke up she was alone in the kitchen still playing cards.

My plan seemed to become more expensive since i couldn't switch my friend's ticket to her name and had to pay an aditional 7500 baht for her ticket... oh well! We spent 2 days in Chiang Mai, went to see the tigers, boat ride down the dirty river, etc. My bar girl got sick. She developed some strange caugh and most of the days ended up sleeping. So i went to the pharmacy and got her some pills. Later on i noticed that lots of Thai people had the same caugh. Hmm it was strange.

Seeing this girl outside the bar sceene, it's like she was a totally diffent person... She was super shy and sweet, well mannered and polite. Not the wild bar girl that i remember from back Phuket. The problem was that she spoke very little English and we had hard time communicating. Most of the time we were silent and just looked at eachother. It was a strange connection but it worked.

Following Chiang Mai, we took a 14 hour bus to Surin, ariving at 2:30 in the morning. I had bought her a cell phone to communicate with her parents so they knew we were comming. Once in Surin, after a few phone calls we were picked up by some young guy in an expensive truck with an underglow kit. At this point i was a little scared. I had no clue where we were going and it was very dark out. Not to mention the lack of communication with the girl..... Thankfully we arrived at her parents house and crashed as soon as we got there.

I stayed with her familly for one week. She had a little brother, a mother and father living there. The Thai way of living is much more different than the western way. I liked it! They never bothered me for money even tho they knew i had some. I would always offer her mom tips for making me food but she was not comfortable accepting them. They treated me very nice! Sometimes I would give my bar girl money to buy us food and i've noticed that she was keeping my change. But later i noticed that she used that money to buy more food for me and her familly. I think she just wanted for people to see that she had some money too and not that i was buying her everything. It was cute! I made friends with her little brother and his friends. The kids would try to teach me Thai and i taught them English. We played xs and os in the dirt and went swimming in the dirty lake! lol My bar girl drove me around on her mom's pink scooter and showed me "the real Thailand". I was the only white person in the village and everyone gave me looks like i was some sort of an alien. haha

Before i left i forced her mom to take 2000 baht and she finally acecpted. They accompanied us to the bus station and told me to come back as soon as i can. This was trully an amazing experience for me!

So what do you guys think? Does this bar girl actually like me, or might she have some sort of secret agenda? I understand that from a financial perspective she likes me because i have money, but during my whole experience she only requested the bare minimum and i did not feel used in any way.

[theblether]

I'm going to bed......someone else launch into the battle.

[wamberal]

Yet another aspiring novelist.

[GuestHouse]

First let me begin by saying that i'm in no way a sex tourist.

I paid the bar fine and told her that i wanted her to show me around Phuket but that i do not do "boom boom".

Nervous first steps.....

i ended up asking this girl to come with me to Chiang Mai! She said Yes! And also she said she would take me to her village which was near Surin, (north east). Of course i had to pay her boss the bar fine (1000 baht) per day of her being away. So i paid up for one week.

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck.

So what do you guys think? Does this bar girl actually like me, or might she have some sort of secret agenda? I understand that from a financial perspective she likes me because i have money, but during my whole experience she only requested the bare minimum and i did not feel used in any way.

As the chinese say, most problems start with calling something by the wrong name.

Replace the term "Bar Girl" with "Prostitute" and you have your answer.

[endure]

[David48]

GuestHouse ... very noble of you to kick this off.

The OP could do a lot worse then reading this tread which has covered most of the subject matter.

[theblether]

Your not looking very good endure, you should go see a doctor.

[endure]

Your not looking very good endure, you should go see a doctor.

I did. That's a picture of me after treatment

[endure]

Your not looking very good endure, you should go see a doctor.

Anyway what are you doing lucid at this time of night ? I thought you were Glaswegian? Shouldn't you be lying in a gutter eating fried Mars bars and reeking of whisky?

[Shot]

Ballard/Fremont troll?

[necronx99]

Very eloquently written.

[theblether]

Your not looking very good endure, you should go see a doctor.

Anyway what are you doing lucid at this time of night ? I thought you were Glaswegian? Shouldn't you be lying in a gutter eating fried Mars bars and reeking of whisky?

I am.......I stole someone's Iphone so I can keep in touch, modern technology is fantastic.

[Carib]

Very eloquently written.

And also pushing all the right buttons for a flamefest...Must be a natural talent.

[KeyserSoze01]

Can't be arsed to read all of it. It's like a rerun of Fawlty Towers. Even though it's entertaining the first few times you see it, after awhile it's all too predictable.

[submaniac]

Ooooohhh....I'll bite.

OP:

(1) Marry her, sure she really loves you

(2) transfer all your funds from home to Thailand

(3) purchase a house and car solely in her name

(4) burn your bridges back home and stay in Thailand

(5) if you have any money left over, mebbe think about purchasing a bar or some other quality investment in Thailand

[poanoi]

At Your age, you are spending far and away too much money on woman,

i'm 43 and would not ever spend even a third, no matter how she look.

Other than that, You are 25 and have a couple of weeks holiday so do the most out of it before you go back, perhaps invite her friend for a threesome, assuming she's cheap

[theblether]

Ooooohhh....I'll bite.

OP:

(1) Marry her, sure she really loves you

(2) transfer all your funds from home to Thailand

(3) purchase a house and car solely in her name

(4) burn your bridges back home and stay in Thailand

(5) if you have any money left over, mebbe think about purchasing a bar or some other quality investment in Thailand

your a bad boy submaniac.........you forgot to tell him to leave a $100,000 cash deposit to reserve her!!!

He will be heartbroken if he comes back and some other 25 year old non sex tourist gym bunny is humping her

[samran]

I'm 25 years old, and in very good shape, going to the gym 4 - 5 days/week, so i don't really have a problem getting girls back home, unlike some of the typical figures you see at the go go bars in Thailand.

You forgot the bit where you are a rocket in bed.

[Ulysses G.]

1,000 baht bar fine? There is new one born every minute.

[simon43]

i'm in no way a sex tourist. I'm 25 years old, and in very good shape, going to the gym 4 - 5 days/week

I didn't read anymore after this classic statement.

Now if you had said you were 65, a sex monger, fat, with bad breathe and sweaty armpits, who last went to the gym in 1975, then I might keep reading ...

[craigt3365]

Interesting first post...err....novel. Let's try this over in the Pub.

Topic Moved.

[Sharp]

I'm going to bed......someone else launch into the battle.

Perfect "spot on "

[Sharp]

Theres a never ending supply of ...............

You know wot go for it we can read the outcome later although most of us know it already

[Colin Yai]

Ooooohhh....I'll bite.

OP:

(1) Marry her, sure she really loves you

(2) transfer all your funds from home to Thailand

(3) purchase a house and car solely in her name

(4) burn your bridges back home and stay in Thailand

(5) if you have any money left over, mebbe think about purchasing a bar or some other quality investment in Thailand

I think you have missed 2 out ,Buy her old man a tractor and her old lady 5 baht of gold!.

[monty1412]

Vas26, welcome to the forum and good first post. As you can tell from the responses their is a selection of characters here and one thing I really like about the board is expect every and any response to anything you post but strangely the amalgam of the responses is generally pretty much spot on.

Your young,have money and freedom.. go for it and don't be put off by negative responses however do take a modicum of caution into play that most of us who have been in Thailand or know the Thailand bar scene have seen allot of situations like this and they hardly ever turn out. Having said that one of the best relationships i ever had was with a bar girl .

Have at it but read the posts that have been linked in some of the responses you have received.

If it was me I would follow through on it but pre-warned not to pay for sick mother/ buffalos or strange death of all the pigs at the farm. Be wary of absences from communication for reasons such as have to go to temple for two weeks etc...

Personally Id rather give something ago and fail than sit wondering at a latter stage what it would have been like if I had of given it a go.

Just be wary and cautious with money issues and don't let anatomical based love sculpture your thinking.. hard at 25 i know but I think fact that you have been willing to experience Thai village life and by your account quite liked it , shows you are not a brainless bangla road trash tourist.

good luck

As a final point.. are you aware that even if she likes you truly that she will probably have to continue working at the bar and pursuing activities which lead to remuneration unless you sponsor her. Need to get your head around that one.

[David48]

Vas26, welcome to the forum and good first post. <snip>

Well done Monty ... I was hoping that someone would rally to the cause.

[daftpunker]

I f your as good looking as you say you are why the hell would you date a bar girl?

You are most probably new toi thailand and dont realise girls exsist outside the bars,You say your not a sex tourist but you hang around those areas.much love .

[Cornichon88]

As a final point.. are you aware that even if she likes you truly that she will probably have to continue working at the bar and pursuing activities which lead to remuneration unless you sponsor her. Need to get your head around that one.

Even if he sponsor her there are few chances she will stop working at the bar and return home. Lot of bar girlies are working while being sponsored by a horde of "boyfriends".

She certainly like him coz he is young and pay drinks, and she would not refuse an opportunity to escape the bar for a week or more to visit Chiang Mai and the family. Any other BG would do the same, it's their job.

1000 bahts barfine, ouch. I chatted the other day with a tourist in Chiang Mai who told me a very well known farang owned cafe-pub-bar here wanted to charge him 600 baths barfine. When you see the girls there it's a joke and a shame.

[Beetlejuice]

I saw the title of this thread and thought, this looks interesting.

Then I saw that the post is longer than the Gettysburg Address, so I thought again I decided, naaa, I won`t bother.

Anyway, this is about bargirls and the countdown for closure begins now.

[monty1412]

Vas26, welcome to the forum and good first post. <snip>

Well done Monty ... I was hoping that someone would rally to the cause.

well someone had to it was his first post and encapsulated allot of thread topics within TV. Besides I impressed that this young guy didn't do what most 25 yo' do a pretend they are in guy heaven and try and bang every girl in every bar. While Im realistic enough to know that chances of this leading to success are slim based on law of averages i still think he seems to have older head on his shoulders and maybe just maybe its worth a try.. albeit a guarded or forwarned/.forearmed try.

The issue of why go after a bar girl ? as we presume from his post is a fair one but folks here on holidays normally dont get to meet nice family Thai girls especially when they hang out in bars in Bangla. Allot of generalisations there I know .