Tomboy Gik

[scrabbleking]

Your friend's wife doesn't have a husband, she has an ATM, simple as that!

[Considered Opinion]

Sorry if this is not well written, but I'm reduced to one hand typing.

I suggest this warrants a webcam in the bedroom for those times when the husband is not around.

LOL - reminds me of this as far as fun to read goes... do a google for veet for men amazon

The reviews are very good.

[bangkokheat]

quote "never believe anything you hear and only half of what you see"

nobody knows with any certainty if it was an old love, if it was maybe the tom cant let go, maybe it is a secret love affair, if it was they not doing a good job of keeping it secret, but after careful examination of this situation and consulting my spirit guide and the almighty (my wife) i have cum to the conclusion that his wife is testing the water with her tom, I think they want to get it on but the husband is way too straight and she too scared to talk about it, shit man, live free, if it feels good go for it, if you hold her back she may end up leaving, so I suggest don't even think of telling her to not see the tom, in fact, i would ask her to invite the tom over for dinner, you may end up with some control over the situation. My wife and I love to play with other girls or guys, its all good, we don't hurt anyone, and we make friends. Would you eat at the same restaurant every night for the rest of your life

[louse1953]

I gotta agree with that post above, they're using you guys for money, get with it, it hurts but its true, nobody in the real world would likely tell you to your face. your "Friend" with the diesel-dyke BF? the wfe loves HER, not the husband,

and for the rug-muncher to openly display her hornballity to the wife in front of the husband like that, ouch! I would send them both packing, move on... get a new one.

some things we should accept in life, if you're being used for your money, or for the passport, that's one thing, but to be made out to be a schmuck so openly, well, up to you mate...

Not the only one in this relationship with no balls.

[Considered Opinion]

Your friend's wife doesn't have a husband, she has an ATM, simple as that!

Goodness... are you suggesting most Thai wives are "gold diggers"? Well I never, what is Thaivisa coming to????

[Considered Opinion]

....that is the best route ...

..are you sure of the spelling?

[metisdead]

A post containing d.sguised profanity has been removed.

[londonthai]

let your friend join tv and read this discussion. But he has to make his own decision, there are many options, as always in life. Your friend should ask his wife, what she wants in her life, so this way he will avoid making a decision by himself and not blaming himself in the future. There is a big chance his wife will cease altogether her affection to tomboy. An open, honest discussion would help and clear all uncertainty

Edited May 3, 2012 by londonthai

[Bokonon]

Whats the problem? He should just take them both and forget about it.

[bangkokheat]

hey "CONSIDERED OPINION" Im with you, there was a few times my THAI wife wanted to sell her jewellery to help me get thru a sticky situation, she even gave me her bank password, I never took it of course, many of these people have very little and in my mind to let her do that would only belittle myself as a man

[theblether]

For what its worth my few cents worth from personal real life experience

My business associate is a Thai female who i always thought to be a tom, as it turns out she was as she did have a gf.

At one stage after knowing each other for about 1 year, the gf asked me to marry her.

She was pretty open about it all, we had a meeting, myself, tom(business associate and her gf)

They told me straight, that GF needs to marry to have husband, so her family will leave her alone and also looks good in her circles.

We were NOT to live together, ONLY the big wedding for everyone to see and perhaps an occasional get together appearances.

The business associate (tom) also "needed" to get married.

After some thinking i refused, weeks later they split up(as i was told) this week tom is getting married.

Chances are in my opinion, after few months, the gf will reappear.

Family is happy, friends satisfied, face saved, and everything goes back to normal, ie lesbian

Amazing Thailand.

My gf, ( I'll be generous and give her that title ), is in an obsessive bbm relationship with a dee in BKK. The dee lives with a tom and my gf swears blind that there is no sexual relationship or history between her and the dee. Which is quite annoying cos the two of them are super hot. Guesthouse would explode.

I dumped my gf for constantly texting and bbm'ing this dee while she was with me. I would be sitting at dinner with her and be getting ignored while she thumped away on her blackberry.

My gf could not believe it when I dumped her, especially the way I did it. While she was engrossed in her blackberry, I went to the bar, paid the bill, told the restaurant manager I would be back soon and left.

It took my gf 45 minutes to realize I was gone. We were in Chiang Rai for a short break, by the time she got back to the hotel I had packed her bag and put her out. She had to drive back to CM and hide out with a pal for 3 days as she had lost face with her family.

If you allow Thai ladies to treat you like an idiot they will, they are world class at treating gullible farangs like idiots. They are the best.

The OPs friend is being treated like an idiot, and with a stunning level of disrespect. It doesn't matter how superhot or supersexy my gf is, she is not getting away with treating me like an idiot either.

Not unless she can involve me in a few threesomes with with her gorgeous dee pal. Then I'm open to negotiation.

Just saying.

Edited May 3, 2012 by theblether

[louse1953]

It's how you feel about life. Tom boy lovers can be an extra fun part in life of the wife. Question is: do you as a farang accept this or not and if so, how far should is go? Next to this, you could be involveld with ladyboys. Does the thai wife except this???

I am not gonna say what you should do, Thai culture ( and thinking and values of life ) are much different then ours.

If the tomboy look sexy, I would sleep with 2 ;-)

John

Would you accept a dude groping and maybe sleeping with your wife,why would a tom any be different.

[pxlgirl]

Not all lesbians look like dudes, thankfully, they're only the ones that stand out. The feminine ones are more discrete as you won't be able to tell their orientation from the spot.

But it seems that the problem is much deeper. First of all though, sexual orientation is nothing you choose or change like your underwear. You're born that way, the only thing you can have influence on is how you deal with it. And there lies the problem. Many lesbians would not admit their orientation, neither to themselves, nor publicly. They fear to be excluded from their families or friends, hence they try to live a "society compatible" life, while having a woman on the side. What they don't realize, they do more harm than good with this: They hurt themselves by living a lie, hiding and denying. They hurt the dude, who does have true feelings for them and wants to be with them. Lastly, they also hurt their gf, who is forced to keep it in secret and fear that they'd go back to their bf/husbands anytime (especially when things get a bit complicated). No matter what, everyone loses in this battle.

Honesty would do much better for everyone. The same problem appears in western countries, where women would identify as so called "bi". They also fear to admit their feelings and a more "society compatible lifestyle" looks appealing for those who want an easy ride. Bi-sexuality doesn't exist under these conditions. There are only very few real bi people, who are equally attracted to both sexes. Their relationships are mostly polygamous. It's not easy for them to find adequate partners, as neither straight nor gay would fit in here.

Edited May 3, 2012 by pxlgirl

[HowardH]

Thailand is sounding more horrible all the time, it all seems to be immersed in sexuality, and little else, i have been looking for a thai for a long time, i have have a lot of offers but i just didnt trust the ones i met, but now i am going off the idea of being in Thailand and marrying a Thai girl.

All sounds so mangy, and low class, seems like it would be near impossible to get an honorable girl to be and honerable Wife.

So much death and crime in Thailand, what a hole

Sorry but i hate what it has become there, once the Thai were the most honerable and proud people

Look at them now

Edited May 3, 2012 by HowardH

[Screws]

A bigger bed might be one solution -

[masterbiker49]

OP it's none of your business, so stay away from this issue with your friend. You can't win.

As to the issue, forget the Tom element, there is a person being sexually agressive with the wife. To make it worse, in sobriety, in a public place, going by the first story. As far as I am aware that is beyond out of order in Thailand.

Forget the alcohol story, to me that first story is the serious one. The fact that the wife has not cut all contact after being groped in public tells you there is a back story to this, an intense back story.

Your friend is in a bad situation, he can't be watching his wife 24/7, and it looks like she is emotionally involved / having a relationship with this other person.

He's going to have to regard it as he would any extra-marital affair. The fact that it is a Tom may be entertaining for Guesthouse but it's irrelevant as to the carnage that may follow.

Distrust is a cancer.

Ps. I told a story on TV recently about a French guy getting his head kicked in for groping.

If you ever want your head kicked in then touch a Thai guys gf or wife, if you grope them be prepared for the worst.

The level of disrespect shown by this Tom is breathtaking.

Similar thing happened to one of my mates too,tom was hanging around his missus.Turned out his wife was scared of the tom & was not game to say anything to her/it but after my mate jacked up,she told him the tom had been hanging around for years & she just tolerated the attention rather than cause trouble.My mate cornered the tom next time she came round,after some abuse and threats toward the tom & much laying down of the law to the Tom & wife they have not been bothered since.STAND your ground,you are the man of the house,if she wants the Tom let her have her,but give them nothing & leave.Remember you are the boss,if only because you have the money.

[Pseudolus]

The Wife and Tom are in a relationship; or used to be. The Tom wants it to continue, and the wife does as well, but is now married to her meal ticket.

You friend needs to man up and boot her to the curb. OR, ask her if it is ok for other girls to touch and grope him sexually in front of her?

It doesn't really matter that its a tom / girl / man its a married woman being sexually active with someone else., If you are not cool with that, and she knows it, then game over. If you (couhgs) friend is cool with it, then get off to Cowboy and get some hot pieces of arse into your bed with your wife insteead of the drunk minging Tom

[Nigel1500]

I think that 90% of Thai women have a relationship with a Tom at some stage in their life, and then move on to a boyfriend/husband, but it is very difficult to convince the Tom that the relationship is over. Too many male hormones I think.

90%? ... 90%? ... I think not.

[kurnell]

I think that 90% of Thai women have a relationship with a Tom at some stage in their life, and then move on to a boyfriend/husband, but it is very difficult to convince the Tom that the relationship is over. Too many male hormones I think.

90% huh?

Possibly 100

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Thailand is sounding more horrible all the time, it all seems to be immersed in sexuality, and little else, i have been looking for a thai for a long time, i have have a lot of offers but i just didnt trust the ones i met, but now i am going off the idea of being in Thailand and marrying a Thai girl.

All sounds so mangy, and low class, seems like it would be near impossible to get an honorable girl to be and honerable Wife.

So much death and crime in Thailand, what a hole

Sorry but i hate what it has become there, once the Thai were the most honerable and proud people

Look at them now

Although these sorts of problems are common, they are very much amplified by the selective experience and cynical POV of the posters here. I'm American and I can assure you that Thailand does not have a monopoly on being "immersed in sexuality" and "low class".

However I suspect your cultural programming about the meaning of "honorable" in this context would lead you to judge most Thai women in a negative way, even if they are completely respectable in their own culture's terms.

Stick with western women, they know how to more completely hide the fact they're just after your money better, and a higher percentage will actually follow that feeling of being "in love" as the basis for a long-term relationship.

Best of luck with that. . .

For 10K baht he can make the problem disapear permanently.

I think you'd need to double that, given that the wife most likely has real feelings for the tom

[metisdead]

An inflammatory post containing profanity has been removed.

[TommoPhysicist]

As to the issue, forget the Tom element, there is a person being sexually agressive with the wife. To make it worse, in sobriety, in a public place, going by the first story. As far as I am aware that is beyond out of order in Thailand.

Same sex PDA is much more accepted than male/female PDA in Thailand.

I see Tom and Dee groping and snuggling all over the place, never a guy and girl though.

@Howard

Having affairs in Thailand is the norm, even among respectable people. They aren't obvious about it though.

Edited May 3, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[Jobiwankenobi]

I would tell the tomboy to Take Off Eh!

[Nigel1500]

Well, here's my advice:

1. Keep out of it;

2. Ask your mate to keep out if it too;

3. Women know what they want. His wife knows what she wants. She seems to be refusing the tom. She probably worked hard to get her man. She'd work hard to stop a girl taking her man too. She'll work hard to stop this tom getting in the middle of the relationship. She'll deal with it;

4. His wife may talk about it, but not to seek his help or advice, only to "share" - which seems to be a girl thing.

5. If your mate feels he must do something it should be indirect, such as simply suggesting a new restaurant for dinner, or a new place for a picnic or a new activity, but not tackle the issue head on.

6. You might reassure your friend by suggesting that if his wife had an inclination to spend time with another woman the altercation by the car might not have happened.

[belg]

should i dare :

thailand, the hub of toms and ladyboys ?

[h90]

Whats the problem? He should just take them both and forget about it.

Well you don't have pictures.

[HowardH]

Thailand is sounding more horrible all the time, it all seems to be immersed in sexuality, and little else, i have been looking for a thai for a long time, i have have a lot of offers but i just didnt trust the ones i met, but now i am going off the idea of being in Thailand and marrying a Thai girl.

All sounds so mangy, and low class, seems like it would be near impossible to get an honorable girl to be and honerable Wife.

So much death and crime in Thailand, what a hole

Sorry but i hate what it has become there, once the Thai were the most honerable and proud people

Look at them now

Although these sorts of problems are common, they are very much amplified by the selective experience and cynical POV of the posters here. I'm American and I can assure you that Thailand does not have a monopoly on being "immersed in sexuality" and "low class".

However I suspect your cultural programming about the meaning of "honorable" in this context would lead you to judge most Thai women in a negative way, even if they are completely respectable in their own culture's terms.

Stick with western women, they know how to more completely hide the fact they're just after your money better, and a higher percentage will actually follow that feeling of being "in love" as the basis for a long-term relationship.

Best of luck with that. . .

For 10K baht he can make the problem disapear permanently.

I think you'd need to double that, given that the wife most likely has real feelings for the tom

Thanks for your post, and interesting that you should make that judgement, i have spent the last 15 years with the Chinese and i assure you that i DO know what honor means in the Asian way.

If you look at the Thai people's past, then many of the people even posting here would have been dealt with harshly once, and yet Thailand has gone the opposite way.

It made me sad was all

As far as western women? No thanks!! you also judged incorrectly there, or perhaps i wrote badly

[Nigel1500]

Your friend's wife doesn't have a husband, she has an ATM, simple as that!

Goodness... are you suggesting most Thai wives are "gold diggers"? Well I never, what is Thaivisa coming to????

Thai wives ... they're just like American wives, German wives, Canadian wives, and Australian wives ... They ALL want your money.

[Nigel1500]

I think that 90% of Thai women have a relationship with a Tom at some stage in their life, and then move on to a boyfriend/husband, but it is very difficult to convince the Tom that the relationship is over. Too many male hormones I think.

90% huh?

Possibly 100

Dude, you better quit whatever it is you're on.

[TommoPhysicist]

Thai wives ... they're just like American wives, German wives, Canadian wives, and Australian wives ... They ALL want your money.

But unlike those other wives, the Thai wives seem to want sex as well, a lot of sex.

Anyway back to the OP

If you want rid of Tom, start to get a bit attracted to her in front of the wife. wife will quickly become jealous and Tom will no longer be welcome.