Dang Woman Drivers

Driving to the office this morning on the Interstate,

I looked over to my left and there was a woman

in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph

with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on lipstick.

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was

halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much;

I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car

using my knees against the steering wheel,

it knocked my cell phone away from my ear

which fell into the coffee between my legs,

splashed, and burned Big Jim and The Twins, ruined the dang phone,

soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Dang women drivers!!