Question About My Gf

[thebrick]

Ok, I prefer to get unbiased opinions from someone living in Bangkok, preferably a Thai girl's perspective.

I met a Thai girl (Isaan) here in the U.S. who works as a waitress. After dating for a couple of Weeks we decided to become bf/gf. Let me also add that we had sex on the second date and she initiated it. The day after we became exclusive, she went to a club with her friends.She came home 2 hours after she said she would and, when she was in the shower, she got a text from a guy asking if she got home ok. This is what made me start to dig deeper.

So, I picked up her phone one day and realized she was talking to roughly 40 guys on Facebook, MSN, and even ThaiLoveLinks. Now, the first thought in my head is: This may be a former bar girl. I asked her how many guys she has been with and her first answer was 12 which soon changed to 17. She really pushed marriage at first, asked for a $50,000 dowry, and asked that I help her out (financially) so she can quit waitressing and get her masters degree (She has a degree from Rangsit University).

Now, here is the confusing part: I know for a fact that she had a job that paid her the equivalent of $30k per year as I saw her pay stubs. She also shut down her Facebook page, her thailovelinks page, and never used msn anymore. These are all facts.

Here are my questions:

1. Is it possible that she is nothing more than a party girl looking for a guy with money?

2. What are the chances she was involved in the sex business?

3. She said she used to go to Pattaya on the weekends with friends. So normal Thai girls ever go there?

4. Seems that she loved with most of her boyfriends. Is this normal for modern Thai girls?

5. Is it normal for modern Thai girls to have multiple sexual partners and sleep with them on the second date?

PS - She does help pay for things and even buys me slot of clothes. Also, I'm not dumb and have not given her a dime.

Thanks in advance for all advice.

[David48]

Awesome first post ...

Edited May 21, 2012 by David48

[thebrick]

David, I get the sarcasm. I'm here to learn and joined so I can get good advice. I'm sorry if that somehow offends you.

[rachit85]

17 guys in how many years? Whts the average time with one bf?

Considering all facts U wanted to know if its normal which according to me is not normal in any culture/country...but if people here say its normal will u be able to accept assuming u have different standards for normal...

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[rachit85]

Serious advice: stay away..this is typical thai girl trap...

She will do anything to prove she loves u but at the end of the day its just the money tht she wanted nd white kids...

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[thebrick]

Rachit, thanks for the insight. Yes, if someone said all of this was normal behavior from a modern Thai girl, I would be happy to look past it. Also, she is 30 years old,slept with 12 guys in Thailand and 5 guys in the three years she has been here in the U.S. (according to her). Most of her relationships lasted no more than 3 months with the exception of two that lasted over 2 years.

Any father advice or comments ate MUCH appreciated.

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[manarak]

Any father advice or comments ate MUCH appreciated.

I'm a father, so I will give advice.

But there are some things I'd like to know first:

- for how long have you been together?

- if you saw her payslips, what job gave her the equivalent of 30k USD a year in Bangkok?

- how did she come to the US?

Regarding your question about weekends in Pattaya, there are many different types of girls in Thailand, some conservative, some not.

You said she's an Isaan girl that worked in Bangkok - what work did she do there and what's the background info on her family? Do they have a house or a hovel, how many brothers/sisters, are her parent still together, what are they doing for a living, etc.

Give more info.

[thebrick]

Manarak, thanks for the response. We have been together for 4 months, her family is poor but her mom works as a teacher and does "ok" with money. She has one brother who isn't working, no other siblings, and she sends her parents $400/month. She worked at California WOW (I think that's the name) and another gym as a sales rep. She said she was granted a travel visa to come here and her parents took a loan for $1000 to help her get here. Also, she calls bar girls "chickens" and says they are low class. My guy says she was a freelancer. I'm eager to hear your thoughts.

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[ShopBoy]

Awesome first post ...

+1 agree

[DrTuner]

Bar girls ply their trade face to face, uni students use the internet. Difference is in the payscale, not that it really matters, but just commenting on the usual assumption of a degree implying a "good girl".

[manarak]

Manarak, thanks for the response. We have been together for 4 months, her family is poor but her mom works as a teacher and does "ok" with money. She has one brother who isn't working, no other siblings, and she sends her parents $400/month. She worked at California WOW (I think that's the name) and another gym as a sales rep. She said she was granted a travel visa to come here and her parents took a loan for $1000 to help her get here. Also, she calls bar girls "chickens" and says they are low class. My guy says she was a freelancer. I'm eager to hear your thoughts.

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A gym sales rep doing over 60k baht a month?

I don't buy it.

Some of my Thai friends are managing over 50 people in factories and are doing less than 20k a month.

Travel visa to the US?

Very unlikely.

Would be interesting to know how she got that.

Did you see the visa in her passport?

What's her visa status now?

She can't work with a tourist visa.

From my perspective, it doesn't really matter if she was a freelancer or bargirl or whatever.

If she was, it is even good for you if she's genuine.

What matters is that you understand her situation and history 100%.

Edited May 21, 2012 by manarak

[thebrick]

I saw her visa and she is now here illegally. Also, I saw one of her pay stubs and it LOOKS like she got paid what she claims. This is exactly why I'm so confused. She did a lot of things a girl from the sex industry does (hi5, thailovelinks, and numerous guys on fb). However, she says she had a good job and lots of credit cards that she maxed out. I'm confused.

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[edwinclapham]

"She really pushed marriage at first, asked for a $50,000 dowry, and asked that I help her out (financially) so she can quit waitressing and get her masters degree (She has a degree from Rangsit University). "

Nah! and this is before you get married!.. in my book "modern girl" shouldnt be asking!

" Also, I'm not dumb and have not given her a dime. " keep your hands firmly in your pocket.

Welcome to Thai Visa BTW.

Edited.. just seen your last post, keep your hands doubly firm in your pockets. I would also add to be very careful seeing she is in the US illegally , you dont need problems with Immigration.

Edited May 21, 2012 by edwinclapham

[David48]

Awesome first post ...

+1 agree

No, no, no ... I think you misunderstand me.

Here we have an amazing man.

With his first post, he was able to find the 'General Forum' oh no, even better, found the Pub Forum.

Came to Thai Visa Forum without making any comment on any other subject but posts this.

Was able to raise the sex life of his gf and mentions marriage, sin-sot, Pattaya, 'Normal Thai girls', says that he has not given her any money, bar girls, free lancers, tourist visas, working on a tourist visa, payments to family, Lo-So's ...

I am sure that I have missed one or two.

So, I reaffirm my original statement ... awesome first post!

All I wish was that I had the ability of this poster when I first joined here.

EDIT:- Forgot the original quote ...

Edited May 21, 2012 by David48

[phuturatica]

Advice from a Western girl living in Thailand...

Follow your instincts. If you think things aren't adding up then that's probably because they're not. Judging from what you have said so far... I would say get rid.

[thebrick]

David, with all due respect, why not just ignore posts that you find annoying or uninteresting? I came here because I don't know where to go. I'm not here to stir the pot. I'm here to learn more about Thai culture and how it relates to the girl I'm with. I find it fascinating that you take time just to write about posts you don't like. If you don't like it move on to the next post. Problem solved.

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[thebrick]

phuturatica, thank you VERY much. I really wanted to hear from a Thai womans perspective. So, thanks!

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[phuturatica]

phuturatica, thank you VERY much. I really wanted to hear from a Thai womans perspective. So, thanks!

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I'm not a Thai woman. I am a Western woman.

[thebrick]

Yes, I noticed that right after I sent my post. Regardless, good info from someone on the inside. :-)

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[endure]

And they say the construction industry is in the doldrums.

[thebrick]

So, is it safe to assume that this girl was likely involved in the sex trade?

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[manarak]

I saw her visa and she is now here illegally. Also, I saw one of her pay stubs and it LOOKS like she got paid what she claims. This is exactly why I'm so confused. She did a lot of things a girl from the sex industry does (hi5, thailovelinks, and numerous guys on fb). However, she says she had a good job and lots of credit cards that she maxed out. I'm confused.

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Maybe a liberal gold digger.

As I see it, she sees you as her ticket to stay in the US.

I'd be careful.

[canman]

David, with all due respect, why not just ignore posts that you find annoying or uninteresting? I came here because I don't know where to go. I'm not here to stir the pot. I'm here to learn more about Thai culture and how it relates to the girl I'm with. I find it fascinating that you take time just to write about posts you don't like. If you don't like it move on to the next post. Problem solved.

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I would forget she is Thai and forget any cultural differences and ask yourself 'if this was a woman from my home town would I be thinking twice about a long term relationship with her?'

[TommoPhysicist]

If she is there illegally, why not ask her to pay YOU $50k.

She needs a US husband more than you need a Thai wife.

[poanoi]

I'm with phuturatica on this one, trust your gut instinct.

Instinct isnt just random thoughts, it stem from experience,

Unfortunately in my case i tend to dismiss my instinct and try to be

kind & forthcoming at the cost of myself

[StreetCowboy]

Treat it like a purely commercial exercise. Shop around. Look on the internet. Use Which magazine. Ask in the pub for the advice of strangers. Try to get a Haynes manual and look for the condition of the model in question. Check the resale value.

Or, if you're talking about a person, follow your heart.

I hope you're just posting this for a laugh, and its a wind-up troll; I'd rank it about a seven out of ten for that. If you're serious, then I worry more and more an=bout young people nowadays...

SC

Edit: Answering more directly; I don't think I've met your girlfriend, so I'd not like to comment on her. Ask her if she's met me, just to confirm...

Edited May 22, 2012 by StreetCowboy

[richard_smith237]

Post a picture - maybe some of the 'bar-going residents' will recognize her ?

I'm tempted to use the 'if it walks like a duck....' phrase, but that’s too clichéd… Erm.. so ‘Run Forest…’ no, again, over used.... erm.. ‘if her lips are moving…’.. ok ok.. again too obvious…

If you are looking for short time fun, you will find fun for a short time.

If you are looking for a relationship you have to be far more careful.. this is clearly a good time girl looking for any opportunity… smart too, instead of hunting a westerner in Thailand, she appears to have taken the initiative and placed herself (albeit illegally) into the concentration…

It sounds very harsh, in cases such as this – photos speak volumes.

[Bangkokhatter]

I would certainly question how she got to the States in the first place, possibly sponsored by an ex maybe ? As for her working in the sex industry, quite a few girls that work in offices etc in BKK will go out at the weekend and top up their salaries through a bit of freelancing.

I would be careful, but remember it's your money and up to you what you spend it on, and i've probably wasted a couple of minutes replying to a poosible troll post, but who cares.

[Berkshire]

Firstly, you're not going to get many--if any--reply from a Thai girl. This is an expat site and caters mostly to westerners, with mostly older guys and a sprinkling of western females. To answer your questions:

1. Is it possible that she is nothing more than a party girl looking for a guy with money?

Yes.

2. What are the chances she was involved in the sex business?

High probability.

3. She said she used to go to Pattaya on the weekends with friends. So normal Thai girls ever go there?

Not really, unless she was farang-hunting, which is not a good trait for Thai girls.

4. Seems that she loved with most of her boyfriends. Is this normal for modern Thai girls?

Not sure I understand your question. But it seems that Thai girls who date farangs always seem to date many farangs, usually at the same time.

5. Is it normal for modern Thai girls to have multiple sexual partners and sleep with them on the second date?

No...but some here would insist that their "good Thai girl" does just that. But traditional Thai girls are not like that.

[ozzieovaseas]

well, as they say in the states..Shirley you can't be serious??

Anyway i got 2 likes for the post i made (thanks guys!) and as i don't know which post they referred to, i thought i might as well re-post i deleted earlier. (but still got a sneaking suspicion the OP might be taking the wee-wee here)

so..if you are serious OP...

Just a few thoughts to throw in.

I don't know about the immigration system in the states, but i do know other countries screen certain nationalities VERY heavily to ensure they dont admit sex workers into their countries.

I've heard some in some countries you have to provide lots documented evidence..previous employment ect.

Having said that, i don't buy the visa part at all. I think its more probable that some other guy may have assisted her in getting into the states, and she has split from him. She could even be married for all you know.

I know we all tell the occasional porky pie, but some Thai girls i've met have mastered it to a fine art. Many a girl like this will be able to look you straight in the eye and lie without batting an eyelid. nothing for them!

It sounds there are a few things you are concerned with here, but id be asking serious questions about this $50k sinsod business...you are talking dollars and not baht here?

Also how does it sit with you about these 40 other guys shes stringing along? how does she explain that?

One thing i did notice..your post kinda read like you had no sooner became exclusive and then she is coming back home and having a shower..so she has mooved in with you after such a short time? where was she living before?

I guess on the other hand you could also look at it this way..she is already accustomed to life in the states, obviously no language barriers, has her money. You could do a LOT worse over here in Thailand i'll give you drum!

And if you are seriously contemplating hanging around someone whos got the nads to ask for 50k sinsod then money is obviously no object to you so she probably can't do much damage.