Where To Meet Good Girls?

[peakness]

Ah, thanks to this thread. Now I feel worse about my countrymen in the eye of the farangs among us. It's terrifying, but also hilarious. Not to say the experiences are unfounded, but the cultural interpretation turns negative quite quickly, cheapening the receiving end who are not on this forum to defend themselves. But what do I expect from a forum with all these funny ads all around it?

Dear Josh88,

At the age of 24, you are so young and so fresh. No wonder a bunch of these guys jumped all over you. I'll skip anything to do with bargirls and generic wasteland hook-ups because that is not what you are asking.

Aside from my curiosity of why are you fixated to have to date a Thai woman (why not other nationalities who also live there?), I'd like to help highlight some key points here. Even as two or three previous posters have already done some explaining, in which case, I'd just add to it.

-Dating, this term and behavior maybe is different from where you came from. Premarital sex in Thailand is too common, though not spoken of. When it's involved a mix cultural pairing, the situation becomes more serious by default because you may seen immediately as a legitimate suitor. Having to explain to her friends and family why you - and why you are not the negative stereotypical type of farangs will make this a community affair, likening to a marriage. This is why the ceremony or what not. The downside of that is the possible mega drama if you want out. The line between dating and an engagement is blurred from the start. Expectations will be all over you.

-Good girl/Bad girl, this definitely has to be thoroughly clarified. Super good girls in the Thai definition is going to be the one doing what is expected of her by her parents/families. Good girls in your mind might not be of that image. She might have to be older and independent enough to explain herself, you, and her family back and forth. Some girls are children forever, and you might not want that. That's why an element of bad girls could come in. This is to mean the kind that live in defiance of cultural expectations, the ones that strive to be responsible for their own actions. On the extreme end of bad girls is the ones that may sleep with farangs for sports or use them for arm candies. I see the surge of this more and more, as well as these 'gigs' the more empowered young urban career women are getting into. (Gigs are what they call the sort of f-buddies on the side) So you might want somewhere very far - in between.

Be aware that girls around your age, dating is frowned upon especially for girls who are attending universities. This age is 'supposed' to be focused in school work to prepare for their own future. Dating would better be worth throwing all that away. Otherwise, you will end up with simpler girls with simpler desires in life working in shops, malls, farms, or markets. Most likely it will be to provide for herself and her families.

Then there are westernized Thai girls. They are mostly in Bangkok but could run around the country doing various activities. They can be approached simply by working/volunteering along side them.

-Relationship, I've seen and consulted with so many on both sides of the cultures. Thai girls will always wish for the 'happily ever after' situation. This makes it hard for any conscious person to pursue a dating situation in Thai culture for the risks of hurting someone. Some people become heartless and only follow the motions. This is sad in the idealistic sense.

Well, where to meet them? Internet is not a bad place. I don't know much about the online dating scene in Thailand. All those sites anywhere in the world are fishy to me, but it could work for some people. What are your hobbies? Passion? There are so many organizations or activity groups. I could help point them out to you. That's where 'like-minded' people meet to avoid the superficial fix-ups.

Sudden thought, another way is to have a Thai buddy with you. Someone who can help translate situations without any agenda, a wingman, as it were, but with more qualifications.

Lastly, Thailand is not that big. Once you do find someone, the distant will not be an issue.

Edit : my stupid grammar

Edited August 17, 2012 by peakness

[bobbin]

Well said, peakness.

[jvs]

matthew 5:5

[Semper]

Well said, peakness.

I dozed off after the first paragraph. Can you give me a short summary of his reply?

[HardenedSoul]

Well said, peakness.

I dozed off after the first paragraph.

Yeah that happens with increasing regularity when you're approaching 85.

[givenall]

You forgot to mention your financial status. All good or bad girls look for $$$ first and then the look

sent from-would like to know

[IrishMick]

Try the leading Asian dating websites. Have some fun and a relationship will find you. Go looking for a relationship and you will probably make a mistake

[Semper]

Well said, peakness.

I dozed off after the first paragraph.

Yeah that happens with increasing regularity when you're approaching 85.

Should I see a doctor?

[DrTuner]

matthew 5:5

I'll top that with 4:5. Ah no I won't, gambling is illegal here. Scratch that.

[jacktrip]

Well said, peakness.

I dozed off after the first paragraph.

Yeah that happens with increasing regularity when you're approaching 85.

Should I see a doctor?

cialis is not for everyone, if you have erections lasting more hten 4 hours please see your doctor.

[Chittychangchang]

Don't Deny the impressionable OP a chance to visit the nice girls in that little town near the sea, two hours south of Bangkok. Carn't remember it's name for the life of me, senility strikes again.It'll come to me later!

[DrTuner]

Don't Deny the impressionable OP a chance to visit the nice girls in that little town near the sea, two hours south of Bangkok. Carn't remember it's name for the life of me, senility strikes again.It'll come to me later!

Sattahip. Transportation these days has improved.

[Cobalt60]

Interested to know how a young un with no Thai female as a magnet, landed up living in the sticks pining for a local maiden.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Thaivisa Connect App

[Chittychangchang]

Interested to know how a young un with no Thai female as a magnet, landed up living in the sticks pining for a local maiden.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Thaivisa Connect App

Indeed,i too would be interested to know. Then maybe i could offer more wisdom to the thread.

[chiangmaikelly]

Don't Deny the impressionable OP a chance to visit the nice girls in that little town near the sea, two hours south of Bangkok. Carn't remember it's name for the life of me, senility strikes again.It'll come to me later!

Sattahip. Transportation these days has improved.

Sattahip has Navy, Army and Marine bases. A lot of guys there. I would think almost more guys per square meter than even Chaing Mai!

[Pseudolus]

matthew 5:5

Blessed are the Greek.

GREGORY: The Greek?

MAN #2: Mmm. Well, apparently, he's going to inherit the earth.

GREGORY: Did anyone catch his name?

MRS. BIG NOSE: You're not going to thump anybody.

MR. BIG NOSE: I'll thump him if he calls me 'Big Nose' again.

MR. CHEEKY: Oh, shut up, Big Nose.

MR. BIG NOSE: Ah! All right. I warned you. I really will slug you so hard--

MRS. BIG NOSE: Oh, it's the meek! Blessed are the meek! Oh, that's nice, isn't it? I'm glad they're getting something, 'cause they have a hell of a time.

Edited August 18, 2012 by Pseudolus

[peakness]

Well, Semper, I'm not a he. I took the chance to give a female view on the overall picture for OP. Do I need to shorten the explanations into juvenile quips or marketing mottos?

Givenell, What about the money status? All you guys are in Thailand BECAUSE it makes you feel rich. Stop perpetuating your own stereotype first and we can discuss the rest.

[chiangmaikelly]

Let me see..... What does a rich old Aussie have that I don't have?

[scorecard]

Ah, thanks to this thread. Now I feel worse about my countrymen in the eye of the farangs among us. It's terrifying, but also hilarious. Not to say the experiences are unfounded, but the cultural interpretation turns negative quite quickly, cheapening the receiving end who are not on this forum to defend themselves. But what do I expect from a forum with all these funny ads all around it?

Dear Josh88,

At the age of 24, you are so young and so fresh. No wonder a bunch of these guys jumped all over you. I'll skip anything to do with bargirls and generic wasteland hook-ups because that is not what you are asking.

Aside from my curiosity of why are you fixated to have to date a Thai woman (why not other nationalities who also live there?), I'd like to help highlight some key points here. Even as two or three previous posters have already done some explaining, in which case, I'd just add to it.

-Dating, this term and behavior maybe is different from where you came from. Premarital sex in Thailand is too common, though not spoken of. When it's involved a mix cultural pairing, the situation becomes more serious by default because you may seen immediately as a legitimate suitor. Having to explain to her friends and family why you - and why you are not the negative stereotypical type of farangs will make this a community affair, likening to a marriage. This is why the ceremony or what not. The downside of that is the possible mega drama if you want out. The line between dating and an engagement is blurred from the start. Expectations will be all over you.

-Good girl/Bad girl, this definitely has to be thoroughly clarified. Super good girls in the Thai definition is going to be the one doing what is expected of her by her parents/families. Good girls in your mind might not be of that image. She might have to be older and independent enough to explain herself, you, and her family back and forth. Some girls are children forever, and you might not want that. That's why an element of bad girls could come in. This is to mean the kind that live in defiance of cultural expectations, the ones that strive to be responsible for their own actions. On the extreme end of bad girls is the ones that may sleep with farangs for sports or use them for arm candies. I see the surge of this more and more, as well as these 'gigs' the more empowered young urban career women are getting into. (Gigs are what they call the sort of f-buddies on the side) So you might want somewhere very far - in between.

Be aware that girls around your age, dating is frowned upon especially for girls who are attending universities. This age is 'supposed' to be focused in school work to prepare for their own future. Dating would better be worth throwing all that away. Otherwise, you will end up with simpler girls with simpler desires in life working in shops, malls, farms, or markets. Most likely it will be to provide for herself and her families.

Then there are westernized Thai girls. They are mostly in Bangkok but could run around the country doing various activities. They can be approached simply by working/volunteering along side them.

-Relationship, I've seen and consulted with so many on both sides of the cultures. Thai girls will always wish for the 'happily ever after' situation. This makes it hard for any conscious person to pursue a dating situation in Thai culture for the risks of hurting someone. Some people become heartless and only follow the motions. This is sad in the idealistic sense.

Well, where to meet them? Internet is not a bad place. I don't know much about the online dating scene in Thailand. All those sites anywhere in the world are fishy to me, but it could work for some people. What are your hobbies? Passion? There are so many organizations or activity groups. I could help point them out to you. That's where 'like-minded' people meet to avoid the superficial fix-ups.

Sudden thought, another way is to have a Thai buddy with you. Someone who can help translate situations without any agenda, a wingman, as it were, but with more qualifications.

Lastly, Thailand is not that big. Once you do find someone, the distant will not be an issue.

Edit : my stupid grammar

Where's the gUarantee for the 'nice girls' that the searching farang is genuine?

Edited August 18, 2012 by scorecard

[TommoPhysicist]

I see the surge of this more and more, as well as these 'gigs' the more empowered young urban career women are getting into. (Gigs are what they call the sort of f-buddies on the side) So you might want somewhere very far - in between.

GIK ...... the word is Gik!

A gig is a type of boat or a music concert.

Edited August 18, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[Payboy]

Well said, peakness.

I dozed off after the first paragraph.

Yeah that happens with increasing regularity when you're approaching 85.

Should I see a doctor?

Nah, just get your foot off the goddamn accelerator.

[DtemJai]

To the OP:

This is my honest opinion and advice.

In these times I think is it best not to become romantically involved with Thai women. Only need to read some of the horror stories here on Thai visa.

You are a young naive guy, fairly new to Thailand and many Thai women including their families will consider you ripe for exploitation.

This is from the beetlejuice vault of wisdom and knowledge:

A few facts that may save a guy a fortune and a lot of emotional trauma.

Cute girl sends out signals to a guy that she likes him.

After spending a passionate evening with her and a night of lovey-doveyness with and perhaps the best sex the guy has had for years or maybe his first time, he becomes smitten and can hardly believe his luck.

He holds her hand and listens intently to her pitiful hard luck stories and then wants to be her knight in shining armour, to the rescue, at any price, dreaming that at last he has discovered a true soul mate and love of his life, believing in a dream the guy decides to invest in her for a good future.

This is how it begins and of course in most cases the result will turn out completely different to the guy’s expectations.

Three major clues that will determine if the girl is not sincere and giving a guy a load of BS:

1. Most of her problems can only be solved with money.

2. The girl is not willing to give up any of her usual social schedules to be with the guy.

3. Appears to have many relatives, friends, acquaintances or colleges that she prefers to keep to herself and separate from her so-called relationship with the guy.

It`s very simple. If a girl really likes or loves a guy, she will unconditionally want to follow him anywhere with no strings or provisos attached.

Her main ambition in life will become solely to be with her man without any financial stipulations and social limitations. She should in fact be proud and keen to show off her new boyfriend and let everyone know that he and she is now an item.

If this is not the case, then dream on baby, because you`re backing a loser, it`s going to cost you dear and you are wasting your time.

Be cautious if the girl shows any of the traits mentioned in the above 1, 2 and 3.

This is the same advice I gave to my sons when they were still wet behind the ears.

<a name="OLE_LINK1">Excellent post Mr. BetelJuice .

That is a “save as” in my case, may I add, they read you as a book within a few min, notice and remember you from your toenail to your hair end without saying anything. Sex talk is taboo, [mostly] – Love takes a heck of time to be attached to their heart, for the girls, and seldom will them semi-love a farang.

Sex business can pop up in the any unexpected time-frame, within 1 hr-1 month & the girl will certain instigate this nice behavior. If you have a nice semi old Thai wife as me, let her find a nice girl to play with…ughhhh [wt wife permission of course]. I’ve a few TV personalities who really like me. Tried even on-live broadcast to get the message across, still does, one even refused to read the 17-00 Hrs news broadcast…until I said yes for a meeting – Station Chief fb message me- help us now…so news was read at 17-45 hrs. True story. Bye bye – Red Thai wine business. P.S. A lot of rich unhappy divorced Thai women around – be very unseen for public .

[StreetCowboy]

...

I dozed off after the first paragraph.

Yeah that happens with increasing regularity when you're approaching 85.

Should I see a doctor?

Nah, just get your foot off the goddamn accelerator.

If he can't see the doctor he should see an optician.

Mind, I suppose we're most of us approaching 85, some of us more imminently than others...

SC

[Ricardo]

Let me see..... What does a rich old Aussie have that I don't have?

A big didgeridoo, perhaps ?

Edited August 18, 2012 by Ricardo

[fish fingers]

Hey Josh, know exactly how you feel. I'm attracted to about 0.5% of thai women. I didn't realize you were not in Bangkok, but in my experience you need to get into the 'arty' crowd where you live. Designers, artists, architects, journalists.... these girls are clever, often stunning and have good taste. And if you are as good looking as me then you'll have no problem. Do some research and good luck.

[TwoDogz]

Well said, peakness.

I dozed off after the first paragraph. Can you give me a short summary of his reply?

Same here.

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

Her main ambition in life will become solely to be with her man without any financial stipulations and social limitations. She should in fact be proud and keen to show off her new boyfriend and let everyone know that he and she is now an item.

If this is not the case, then dream on baby, because you`re backing a loser, it`s going to cost you dear and you are wasting your time.

I think there's some wisdom and good points in your overall post above... But I think you lost it a bit on the above point about good girls wanting to publicly show off their farang BF.... That's not the way it works, in my experience, as someone who has only been serious with "good" girls.

For a true "good" girl, there likely are family implications, as in, she won't want to pop a farang BF on her parents/family until/unless she's pretty certain you and she are a couple for keeps.

And likewise in the work setting (most good girls have regular jobs with Thai employers), her employer and supervisors/boss aren't necessarily going to be thrilled to know/see that their staff member is dating a farang, given the broad bar mongering reputation farangs tend to get in Thailand. Nor is she likely to want her work colleagues to know about the BF, again, until and unless she's pretty sure you're for keeps. Otherwise, if you get shown around and then decamp for another woman, it leaves your then ex good girl GF looking pretty bad in the eyes of her peers.

So to cut to the point, there are certainly quite attractive Thai good girls out there, and they may have any number of various decent reasons for being interested in a farang BF generally or you specifically, whomever you may be. But in my experience, the good ones are usually quite cautious and move very slowly in exposing a real farang BF to their family, friends and work colleagues, because that's the nature of Thai society -- outside of bars, go-gos, and the like.

[DrTuner]

From what I've understood, the hardcore good girls wouldn't be caught dead seen with a farang. So unless you're Asian, change country.

[transam]

From what I've understood, the hardcore good girls wouldn't be caught dead seen with a farang. So unless you're Asian, change country.

Rubbish.

[JDGRUEN]

It may sound trite, but some of the dating sites have many Thai women of good background, education, family and employment. In going on two years I have met several fine women... two were outstanding. One is an accounting manager for a landscape construction company... I met her boss, most of her family ... she has many good qualities. The other good catch is a officer in the government school system with a significant position. Finding a good woman on a dating site is possible - IF - you pay attention to the details... And if you are not expecting every beauty queen to have all the good personal qualities too. I find the women on Thai dating sites do the same as American women do.. they exaggerate and embellish some - but so do the men. They also fudge their age. And most do not want to live out in the provinces - too deep. Even if they came from there originally. I recommend Badoo and Okcupid. Set your standards high and you will find a good woman.... but it does take time and careful analysis.