Going To Marry My Tg

[rodeoooo]

Ok folks,

dont flame me right away, ok?

First, I am 48, single, have lived worldwide

Sold timeshare for 10 years, now do another type of

(honest) sales....so i have seen a hussle or two and

some real good liars, cheats and con men/women....

Have been to LOS several times and know the dangers of

my plan.

That said and done, here is the plan:

Fiance visa in process, finish @ June

Coming to LOS mid feb to present the engagement ring

(Valentines day)

Will meet Mom and some family on this trip

Back to LOS March or April for the Buddist wedding

Will be in LOS every 4-6 weeks for a week

Once visa in hand, bring the Princess to California

Visa is for 90 days, marry or go home

Fiance will be in English school till she gets here

Once in California, get her aclimated, then @ 30 days in CA,

have her sign the Pre nep, then marry in California

Result:

7 month engagement, she happy, i am protected

pretty well

Specific Questions:

When meeting Mom for first time what is Protacal

do i bring her a gift?

what kind of gift?

do i bring her brothers/sisters gifts?

what type

she has 2 kids, and i will be bringing them gifts

what kind?

Buddist wedding:

protacol

gift to monk?

present to village / village elders?

Her new apartment:

(willupgrade her apt so i can quit paying hotels)

how much should i pay for a furnished 1 bedroom

with kitchen and hi speed internet access?

Gents ( and i hope ladies)

thank you for bearing with the long post

ANY comments are appreciated

The info i have gleaned from this forum has made my trips

to LOS much more enjoyable and most of all made

it possible to scout for my Mate

Disclamer: yes, i have read ALL the posts her of the horror stories

i am not thinking all times with my little head, have distanced my

self in analyizing the situation. (My job involves travel, and for 3 months

have NOT called my regular girls, and have turned down the screen scratchers

at home,,,this has Never happened...)

[Axel]

rodeoooo, I think you do not need any advice.

Just do, what's on your mind.

For the mom? Tell her you were thinking of a gift, but did not know what. OK, some flowers and not more.

And, first time you meet, tell her she looks even more beautiful thn the daughter.

[Bluecat]

I agree with Axel. Do not get too excited, they probably will be far more "anxious" than you.

If you love her and she loves you, everything will go fine like anywhere else in the world,...

Cheers and good luck

[mr Z man]

Mr. Rodeoooo,

You are not looking at the big picture. You are setting yourself up for a world of heartache in the future. Don't get me wrong I think marrying a Thai girl is great, I did it eight years ago and now we are living in CA for the last four years. I was 42 when we met and she was 20. It's great but there are some bumps in the road as in all marriages. We have a six-year-old daughter and she is the glue that holds our marriage together.

What did I do differently? I moved to Thailand and lived there continuously for six years with my wife and daughter. We fully intended to stay in Thailand. My wife wasn't looking for someone to take her away from Thailand. All the girls worth having don't really want to leave Thailand. It's a great place to live. We decided to educate our daughter in the US so we made the move.

My suggestion is if you can afford it, move to Thailand get married live there for a few years and If everything is great then think about making the move. The visa process will be easier from BKK. But you have to have the right type of visa Non IM B for several years in a row or the BKK embassy won't accept your application. Keep a home address also or you can't apply over there.

Our visa process was about 30 min in the embassy and later that day my wife had her visa for the US. Just make sure you have your paperwork in order and follow all the procedures they ask for. Keep in mind we were officially married in Thailand for several years and I filed all my taxes and keep up with the legal requirements.

Living together as husband and wife and father has made the difference and ours is going to be a Thai/Am success story. She never worked in a bar, was a bank teller, who took a lot of wooing to get the first date.

I didn't pay any ransom to the family for their daughter. I only promised to love her and take care of her forever. BTW the marriage dowry if paid to the brides’ family is supposed to be returned to you both, right away. If they don't do it beware!

The pre-nup probably won't hold up in a CA court. Her lawyer will have a great case to have it thrown out. He can argue lack of knowledge of the language, you took a girl out of her familiar surroundings and brought her here and now want to leave her without her rightful 50% of the marriage assets. In Ca it isn't going to fly. The above is just my 2 cents worth of experience. Hope it helps! And the best of luck to you, and your bride, you are going to need it as we all do.

[Khutan]

Rodeoooo;

I will add my 2 cents worth as well. You did not say if Mum lived up country or in Bangkok.

do i bring her a gift?

what kind of gift?

do i bring her brothers/sisters gifts?

what type

she has 2 kids, and i will be bringing them gifts

what kind?

Buddist wedding:

protacol

gift to monk?

present to village / village elders?

Her new apartment:

(willupgrade her apt so i can quit paying hotels)

how much should i pay for a furnished 1 bedroom

with kitchen and hi speed internet access?

Bring her a gift, yes something simple, like as said before some flowers or a handbag. If mum lives in Issan, a bottle of wiskey (Johnny Red) will do.

Borthers and sisters, bring them your good wishes, be polite, quietly spoken and give them nothing else, it sets an expectation.

Her kids a different matter, it depends on the age, generally Thai kids like the same sort of stuff as western kids

Buddhist wedding - didn't have one of those, mine was more informal in the south of Surin, and the monk didn't come. We went to the temple the next day and received a blessing, I think we gave the monk one of those "Monk Gift Packs" and a packet of cigatettes and 200 baht.

Gift to the village - FORGET IT

Apartment, well that is up to you, I pay less than 20,000 a month for a big apartment in Bang-Na, but the closer you get to Soi 1 - 15 the more you pay.

Just some more advice, dress conservatively, and don't let on you have much money - trust me, otherwise everyone will be all over you like mosquitoes.

Matt

[KevinN]

Some ###### good advise here.

I would not ever even think of a marriage where moving away from the home country was even a topic of conversation,if it is then the marriage will last til the move and then it will involve the lawyers.

A ransom is another topic i would not let get started,I wasn't asked for one,and the Thai farmer across the road has just got married and he looked at me like he had swallowed a bug when I asked him how much he paid,,and neither one of us had a Thai wedding,,both were done at the amphur so that cuts out the big drunk at home and is at least legal.

[think_too_mut]

>Specific Questions:

When meeting Mom for first time what is Protacal

do i bring her a gift?

what kind of gift?

do i bring her brothers/sisters gifts?

what type

she has 2 kids, and i will be bringing them gifts

what kind?

Buddist wedding:

protacol

gift to monk?

present to village / village elders?

Her new apartment:

(willupgrade her apt so i can quit paying hotels)

how much should i pay for a furnished 1 bedroom

with kitchen and hi speed internet access?

Let you wife decide what presents (if any) you should bring. When I went upcountry, my gf got some clothes for sister's children and some things (can't remember what it was but something minor) that her moter needed.

Buddhist wedding: some already said, go for it if you like, I would not. My country does it in our BKK embassy and all paperwork is automatically done.

Dowry: should be returned back, not all of it but most.

New apartment: On Nut, (presently) last/first stop of the Sky Train - 2 bedroom, 7th floor, large balconies, probably 80sqm, furnished - 15K per month + utilities payable directly to suppliers (no building markup). Phone line does not disconnect after 15 minutes.

One bedroom in the area would be 7-8K.

High speed Internet: unreasonably expensive in Thai (100+ US$ per month when I checked last time). Would make a difference if you are roaming Thai sites. As soon as you go out of Thai, hardly any diff from a dial up.

And you will need your own phone line - getting a line is hard enough, and who knows if it is ADSL capable and how far from the exchange...

Unless you move her into Emporium Suites at 70K per month...

This is my second post here but I have 2800 on another board where I am a moderator too.

[thaihome]

Think it is a pretty good plan. The hard part will be making it work. This will require a lot of effort on your part.

I agree that the pre-nup would probably not stand up to a good lawyer unless you get it translated into Thai and have it signed in presence of a Thai translator who verifies she understands it.

Do not get legally married in Thailand, as this would invalidate her visa. Unless she insists, I would advice putting off the ceremony for one of your trips to Thailand after you are married in the US (you are, after all, planning on having her visit her family at least once a year, right?). This will temporarily solve the sin sot issue until she is understands farangland a little better.

Have you discussed family support? Be sure you have a clear understanding that she is happy about and makes her feel secure. Be prepared for that agreement to be changed. Try to avoid stressing the relationship with money issues. Your point of view and hers are so different; misunderstandings are almost inevitable

Other then that, good luck.

TH

[rodeoooo]

Folks

Repeat big THANK YOU for your input

I am a bit busy craming 4 weeks work into 3 so i can visit

my fiance....so a long recap will be forth coming

Please keep the posts coming...thanxs

rob