The Mother In Law

[payak]

I'm sure there are many here who have done it, this is not meant as an insult to those.

I am tryng to understand for nothing more then my own curiosity why people feel the need to buy a house for a womans mother, in most cases who they really don't know, and after such a short time.

I don't imagine they would do the same in there home nation, they would probably laugh at the hide of the woman asking and tell her to go get @#$%, but in Thailand it's getting so common it's almost expected by the girls now.

lets discuss this in a civil way, not looking to stir the pot.

[473geo]

Because they can?

[NeverSure]

Because they are pzzy whipped?

[Chittychangchang]

Because it's a nice gesture and it's only pocket change, shows your commitment to your wife.

Everyones happy apart from the ones who get taken for a ride.

End of story.

[Rob8891]

To care for the family that they have joined..... It is called human kindness. Your comment about not buying a house in the home country is irrelevant, given the cost of housing in most of our home countries.

Are you totally unaware that you have been contributing to threads about almost EXACTLY this topic????

DUH.

Edited October 7, 2012 by Rob8891

[Rob8891]

as someone said elsewhere.......

5

4

3 Please!

2 PLEASE

1...........P L E A S E

[wayned]

If everybody was "pig sick of damned stupid threads that constantly dredge up the same old topics over and over and over again' and didn't reopen them , TV would be pretty boring, just like it would be if everybody didn't contiue to contribute "off topic" posts - including me! .

[Rob8891]

If everybody was "pig sick of damned stupid threads that constantly dredge up the same old topics over and over and over again' and didn't reopen them , TV would be pretty boring, just like it would be if everybody didn't contiue to contribute "off topic" posts - including me! .

In that case, feel free to go off-topic. Who knows, we might get to pastures new.

[Crossy]

Back on-topic, maybe, just maybe the MiL is a hot lady who's nearer their age and who they really should have married

[GuestHouse]

Its probably not a bad idea to buy/build a house for the old dear if the other option is she moves in with you.

I say 'old' I think in relationships where the Thai inlaws are not that much older (perhaps younger) than the grinning farang who's just joined the family, it might be worth taking note of at what age the Thai inlaws, particularly the mother, become too old to work.

When you hear those words, but dear old mum or dear old dad is too old, s/he can't work - Make careful note, and note too if when you reach that age you too are considered too old to work.

Or are you still expected to soldier on, handing out the family welfare payments?

Edited October 7, 2012 by GuestHouse

[submaniac]

If everybody was "pig sick of damned stupid threads that constantly dredge up the same old topics over and over and over again' and didn't reopen them , TV would be pretty boring, just like it would be if everybody didn't contiue to contribute "off topic" posts - including me! .

So anyways someone was telling me the other day that comming to Thailand can make you bisexual. Let's discuss.

[Sharp]

If everybody was "pig sick of damned stupid threads that constantly dredge up the same old topics over and over and over again' and didn't reopen them , TV would be pretty boring, just like it would be if everybody didn't contiue to contribute "off topic" posts - including me! .

So anyways someone was telling me the other day that comming to Thailand can make you bisexual. Let's discuss.

Hi :-)))

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

[submaniac]

Drat. Defeated in my own game.

[CharlieH]

My wife's parents lived in nothing more than a tin shack, when I built our house and knowing my wife's concerns for her parents as they approached Retirement age, and how close they are, I had built another small home in the grounds of our's for her parents. It was a small amount of money in materials and done whilst doing ours so no big deal. It was a small financial gesture but had a huge impact on their lives. I would do it again in a heartbeat for them. They were and remain so pleased, they love to take care of the garden which they have never had, they look after our place when we travel. It's great having them around, a true sense of family and I think a great decision.

[giddyup]

My wife's parents lived in nothing more than a tin shack, when I built our house and knowing my wife's concerns for her parents as they approached Retirement age, and how close they are, I had built another small home in the grounds of our's for her parents. It was a small amount of money in materials and done whilst doing ours so no big deal. It was a small financial gesture but had a huge impact on their lives. I would do it again in a heartbeat for them. They were and remain so pleased, they love to take care of the garden which they have never had, they look after our place when we travel. It's great having them around, a true sense of family and I think a great decision.

Good story. Nice to hear something positive.

[arthurwait]

Its probably not a bad idea to buy/build a house for the old dear if the other option is she moves in with you.

[farang000999]

if a home cost $10,000 in the USA to build there would probably be more of them built for MIL's, especially if the wife was 20 years or more younger than the husband. The reality is that in the USA, the vast amount of MIL's do not need a SIL to build them a home. They have the government for that.

It is like OP lacks all common sense/ life experience.

Edited October 8, 2012 by farang000999

[robblok]

In my opinion they lived here without me and survived and now that i am here it does not mean that i am their meal ticket. If you start giving more and more is expected. When I arrived here they tried loaning money for stupid things. I refused and now our relation is good and they don't ask.

They live in a normal Thai house nothing luxurious but are not dirt poor either. I would help out when there are real problems, but i'm not a cash cow. I don't see their other children contributing more as us.

Its a personal choice but if you want to be the one responsible for their welfare please do so. Some girls will only be with you for the money then. Its IMHO bad enough to pay your wife a "salary" but if your also paying everything for the outlaws............

Of course not every situation is the same, if give you an usefrunct (not sure about the spelling) for their land and you build your house there and let them live there too is different again.

[mauGR1]

Well, if you're going to build a palace for your wife in Nakhon Nowhere, and your inlaws live in a bamboo shack, it would be tasteless and insensitive not to improve their housing conditions.

Anyway, it seems that you cannot expect gratitude from helping the people, but it can happen everywhere, not only in Thailand.

[cgphuket]

I have heard these stories a lot but am immune as I have no money. I support myself, never borrow from anyone, have no trust fund, retirement account or rich family to help me out. I came to Thailand with 5k usd and everything else went to mt frang wife in order to get the divorce and walk away. I have worked here since I came and make a "decent" living (about 40% of what I made at home) but every woman I have dated knows my net worth is basically what is in my wallet and there is no big nest egg in the bank somewhere. I have had 4 regular girlfriends and the current one and I have been together over 2 years and I have never been asked for 1 baht. I do give the girls some money or gold from time to time to help them out but has always been my choice. I think I would dump a girl who started treating me like an ATM and demanding I buy things for her family. I figure if you got loads of money and your partner is dirt poor it is natural to help out, but not all Thai girls expect it to be Christmas every month. ITs only my experience but for me it has been easier to live here working-poor than to be seen as a sugar daddy.

[NeverSure]

The reality is that in the USA, the vast amount of MIL's do not need a SIL to build them a home. They have the government for that.

I've been in the US all my life and I've never heard of the government building anyone a home.

[chiangmaikelly]

Because it's a nice gesture and it's only pocket change, shows your commitment to your wife.

Everyones happy apart from the ones who get taken for a ride.

End of story.

If the above was the end of the story why is everyone still posting?

[Vale Tudo]

Why not be like the guy on the other thread who built a house for outlaws that won't even acknowledge the existence of his kids,their own grandkids,Falang Jimmy or whatever his name is!

Hard to believe that some people can be so utterly stupid,I wouldn't expect and I'm probably right,anyone to buy or build a house for me during my lifetime,so why the hell should I do it for anyone else?

Then people complain when they are treated as walking ATMs,I've even seen stories on here of villages in Isaan,where the whole village comes and knocks on the Falang's door if they're a bit short of cash,hilarious!

Talk about making a rod for your own back!

[tfc]

Because they are pzzy whipped?

A very legitimate reason because that whip hurts. When you don't get it that is.

Edited October 8, 2012 by tfc

[farang000999]

The reality is that in the USA, the vast amount of MIL's do not need a SIL to build them a home. They have the government for that.

I've been in the US all my life and I've never heard of the government building anyone a home.

is there a big difference in your mind between free housing and building someone a home?

[farang000999]

Honestly once you go and marry a girl whose parents live in a bamboo hut do you really expect to tell her: Look, you have sex with me so you get to live in my huge amazing modern home but I dont give a dam_n about your parents. I wish they were dead. But since they are not, you and I will not give them any money whatsoever. You live here in a life of luxury and forget about them. <deleted>?

if u don't want to be in this situation it is best to not get married with someone much poorer and younger than yourself. just stick to being a bf/whatever/customer. the girl would need to be pretty heartless to be willing to live a life of luxury while her parents put pots under the rain leaks every night.

Edited October 8, 2012 by farang000999

[NeverSure]

Well, one poster in this or another thread did say that the parents allowed him to build a home for his new family on their established farm. In that case I could certainly also justify building them a modest and modern home. That's IF I were up for living that close to the parents.

Also, I would no more build a McMansion in a rural village than I would drive a new Rolls in rural small town USA. I would expect that it would simply turn people off and distance me from them.

[farang000999]

ever been to an isaan villiage? the norm is the big farang modern house surrounded by the locals and their huts with no plumbing bathrooms.

[NeverSure]

The reality is that in the USA, the vast amount of MIL's do not need a SIL to build them a home. They have the government for that.

I've been in the US all my life and I've never heard of the government building anyone a home.

is there a big difference in your mind between free housing and building someone a home?

Absolutely. For the few that get a housing voucher, they are below renters who pay their own way. I have never heard of the US government giving anyone a home. I've heard of rent subsidies but they are hard to get and there is a several year waiting list.

[farang000999]

The reality is that in the USA, the vast amount of MIL's do not need a SIL to build them a home. They have the government for that.

I've been in the US all my life and I've never heard of the government building anyone a home.

is there a big difference in your mind between free housing and building someone a home?

Absolutely. For the few that get a housing voucher, they are below renters who pay their own way. I have never heard of the US government giving anyone a home. I've heard of rent subsidies but they are hard to get and there is a several year waiting list.

Yes but unlike Thailand the MIL is getting a whole bunch more benefits as well. There is a reason why more Thais send money home where as in America the young people are more likely to borrow from grandma and mom than support them.