How To Prevent Horny Tourists From Hitting On My Girlfriend?

[GreenSnapper]

It's a shit test, simple as that. And if you cannot handle it, she will some day go with the tourist. Women 101...

[DrTuner]

It's a shit test, simple as that. And if you cannot handle it, she will some day go with the tourist. Women 101...

Women doing shit tests are to be returned to circulation immediately. Staying alive 101...

[7by7]

Look in the mirror. If you respected her you would not go to her place of work, period, stop, end.

Indeed.

She dealt with it before you arrived, she'll deal with it once you've gone home.

I suspect her real cause of embarrassment is you hanging around her place of work watching her all the time. Find another way to spend your evenings.

You're obviously unable to read. Her "place of work" is her family's restaurant, which is where we both live. If she didn't want me around she wouldn't be my girlfriend.

Anyway, enough for me. Thanks to everyone who helped.

I am perfectly capable of reading, thank you; but I now have to doubt your ability to comprehend English!

Her family's restaurant is a place; it is where she works. Therefore it is her place of work!

Being your girlfriend does not mean she wants you following her around and watching her 24/7.

Edited October 9, 2012 by 7by7

[yourauntbob]

One of the very reasons why I would never marry a movie star.

yea.... i am sure THATS the reason

[Greer]

Basis of any solid long term relationship is trust plain and simple.

Trust her, stop acting like a little lovestruck teenager makes you look silly and probably causes her embarrassment.Think to of the family, they will hardly be on side when jealous BF is scaring of the money spending tourists due to his own insecurities.

I think you missed the point - its not HIM... its his GIRLFRIEND asking him to help her escape from them (without offending), as she doesnt feel comfortable, but is obviously too well mannered, or maybe doesn't feel she can give the brush-off to the guys hitting on her, as maybe she is not used to such situations.

Don't forget, as you said, its her parents restaurant/bar, so she can hardly just walk out and not work there, but this is unwelcome attention, and she is not sure how to handle it.

Probably part of it is that SHE doesnt want to scare customers away from her family restaurant, so she is asking her boyfriend, a westerner, for advice on how to handle it.

Unfortunately I do feel that she will have to learn how best to deal with each situation as it arises (stop that - no pun intended). Treating customers with respect, and in a more or less businesslike manner is maybe going to help with the ones less intoxicated, but later in the evening, its going to be up to her to fend for herself.

Maybe dropping phrases into her conversation about nice places for the tourists to visit for example, saying things like "MY BOYFRIEND and I went there, and WE both loved it.." etc...

Maybe they will get the hint... can only try eh?

[Semper]

If she has a brother or male cousin etc working in the restaurant

That would be her husband.

[DrTuner]

Can't the "Protect the ladies" brigade from TV help the OP and establish a permanent horny tourist watch on the premises ?

[Rob8891]

Can't the "Protect the ladies" brigade from TV help the OP and establish a permanent horny tourist watch on the premises ?

Maybe you should post this in the "brigades" thread?... I don't think we have had that one. Edited October 9, 2012 by Rob8891

[Beetlejuice]

If she has a brother or male cousin etc working in the restaurant

That would be her husband.

[kurnell]

Get her to walk around with a sock in her pants. That'll scare 'em off.

[madjbs]

Moral of the story:

Never go to an internet forum (especially a Thai one) for advice.

[noob7]

How old are you both?

Him?

gray42

So either 42 or 70!

[noob7]

If she has a brother or male cousin etc working in the restaurant

That would be her husband.

Get her to walk around with a sock in her pants. That'll scare 'em off.

Na, not all of 'em!

[marstons]

My girlfriend gets hit on alomost on a regulary basis, mostly ex pats. I stay away from the business and let her deal with. Like she says she is a 33 year woman and can take care of herself. if your going to sit threre in protection mode all night you will drive yourself nuts and probably her.

Stay away and let her deal with or you will be the ex boyfriend.

[Greer]

Should have said in my earlier post - I was pretty much brought up behind the bar of Working Men's Clubs in north east England. Smile and be friendly to the customers was a given. No matter what, put on the slap, do your hair and paint on your smile and talk nicely to the paying customers. It's all part of the job and why you rarely see ugly barmaids. I know it's not the same as the situation here in Thailand, but the principle is the same. People go to the bar, pub or club to escape, not to have some sourfaced hag ignore you. If they wanted that they'd buy beer from the shop and drink at home. Totally against all feminist and probably moral beliefs, but it's true, and I can't see anyone being able to argue me down on this one.

Excellent post Konini. A view from the other side of the fence, and a sensible response... what on earth are you doing on Thai Visa...?? Haha!

Seriously though, I do think a few posters here need to be more observant and read and understand what was said - I am sure the chap posting is doing so because he would like some genuine advice, but a large number of posts are just people making stupid comments that are not helpful.

There is some good advice mixed with the rubbish - just have to sort the chaf from the hay!

[uptheos]

I don't watch her like a hawk. She asked me to help her at the bar to keep guys from hitting on her too much.

So, how's the job going?

[kurnell]

My girlfriend gets hit on alomost on a regulary basis, mostly ex pats. I stay away from the business and let her deal with. Like she says she is a 33 year woman and can take care of herself. if your going to sit threre in protection mode all night you will drive yourself nuts and probably her.

Stay away and let her deal with or you will be the ex boyfriend.

My wife has been hit on but none of them have taken her away. There's time yet hopefully

[MB1]

If you trust her, you should be able to smile and be flattered that people find your girlfriend hot. You're jealousy is your own problem, not anyone else..

Nail , hammer head..., Without trust no relationship IMO will ever work...Jealousy is such a problem for some people..

Edited October 9, 2012 by metisdead
: Please don't post using bold font. Bold font removed.

[Tchooptip]

OP, she should know how to keep those unwanted advances under control. Probably unpleasant but not so difficult.

I was once the idiot on the other side and got, politely, told off by the husband (I didn't know he existed before that). Nobody is "that" hot, so many options around, not worth upsetting anyone.

OP, she should know how to keep those unwanted advances under control. Probably unpleasant but not so difficult.

OP, she should know how to keep those unwanted advances under control. Probably difficult and not so pleasant

[rattler]

My Wife meets a lot of men in her job, she leads them on a bit to make a sale , when they ask "have you got a boyfriend" she says "no" pauses a while then says "I've got a husband"....... which usually puts and end to it.

Is that what she told you.

Sadly unlike yourself I trust my woman, and have done thru the last 6 years the 5 condos she owns and income of about 240k a month.......... and that's just her own stuff.

Flat nosed Issan brownie just in case you were wondering.

She often finds customers for those 5k a month rooms just in case you need help let me know

[Tchooptip]

If really she is in a public position, and can't repeat the same again and again, you might consider a tshirt telling for her: "NO, I'm NOT free" , "I already have a boyfriend" , "I have everything I need" , "Don't even think about it", etc... You can even try the fun way : "My boyfriend is better than you" , "I'm not a social worker" or "The girls are next door, not here {with a map to the night life in the back}".

I cannot guaranty the result, but at last you will have fun doing it

This is a good idea. NO feelings hurt and it's direct and honest.

Good idea? If I have a drink in a bar where the barmaid was dressed in a T-shirt telling I am not a social worker not sure I would have a second glass same same for other suggestions CMIW

[endure]

Get a new girlfriend...

[nietzche]

Jealousy is a bitc.h ain't it

You have to stay out of it basically and let your gf deal with it as she sees fit.

As long as it's only talking no big deal really and it comes with the job.

Only when people start touching her against her will it's probably time to step in and start rumbling.

You got to let the girl do her job!

The only issue here is your feelings of jealousy. I had a GF back in NY who was a bartender. Guy's would come in and she would flirt with them. In the end she earned great tips and the customers kept coming back. That's how she paid her way through uni.

This is how things work in the hospitality business.

Nothing bad can happen here in your case. Either she stays with you or she ends up dumping you for one of the horny tourists. If the latter happens, then it's good for you because you got rid of a girl who was likely to cheat on you at some point anyway

[DrTuner]

OP could always get some proper BGs to work there and make her mamasan. You just don't mess with the mamasan.

[nietzche]

OP could always get some proper BGs to work there and make her mamasan. You just don't mess with the mamasan.

Why not?

Seriously, I'm curious

[forumuser10]

Classic

When the thai girls who work in the tourists area, are friendly and constantly smile, we love it. This makes even the most awkward nerd/loser feel like a confident casanova. So a lot of us are very pushy with the thai girls, cause we know we can get away with it, and usually no offense is taken.

The problem is when one of them becomes our girlfriend, then exactly what we love about them in the first place becomes a pain, because they will still be that girl that are friendly with tourists, and the tourist keep on pushing the girl.

[Vale Tudo]

My Wife meets a lot of men in her job, she leads them on a bit to make a sale , when they ask "have you got a boyfriend" she says "no" pauses a while then says "I've got a husband"....... which usually puts and end to it.

Is that what she told you.

Sadly unlike yourself I trust my woman, and have done thru the last 6 years the 5 condos she owns and income of about 240k a month.......... and that's just her own stuff.

Flat nosed Issan brownie just in case you were wondering.

She often finds customers for those 5k a month rooms just in case you need help let me know

Wow,she must have been the hardest working girl in Pattaya,to get herself to that level of property ownership and income,well done!

Edited October 9, 2012 by Vale Tudo

[Mark1971]

Should have said in my earlier post - I was pretty much brought up behind the bar of Working Men's Clubs in north east England. Smile and be friendly to the customers was a given. No matter what, put on the slap, do your hair and paint on your smile and talk nicely to the paying customers. It's all part of the job and why you rarely see ugly barmaids. I know it's not the same as the situation here in Thailand, but the principle is the same. People go to the bar, pub or club to escape, not to have some sourfaced hag ignore you. If they wanted that they'd buy beer from the shop and drink at home. Totally against all feminist and probably moral beliefs, but it's true, and I can't see anyone being able to argue me down on this one.

Excellent post Konini. A view from the other side of the fence, and a sensible response... what on earth are you doing on Thai Visa...?? Haha!

Seriously though, I do think a few posters here need to be more observant and read and understand what was said - I am sure the chap posting is doing so because he would like some genuine advice, but a large number of posts are just people making stupid comments that are not helpful.

There is some good advice mixed with the rubbish - just have to sort the chaf from the hay!

The OP has shown terrible judgement posting this here looking for advice, which makes me question if he is really viewing this situation objectively.

I think his girlfriend knows exactly what she is doing, women don't flirt by accident.

She is working in a bar, flirting with foreign men who drink there, hoping a good catch walks in so she can dump him.

I have two pieces of advice for the OP.

1. Take your girlfriend out of the bar into a regular job & hire a barmaid.

2. Stay away from Thai Visa for a few days, until this train wreck of a thread dies a death.

Based upon his terrible judgement feeding this train wreck of a thread I don't think he will take either.

[pauljones]

Lets be honest. Thailand is a horney tourist hub.

Time for a crackdown?

[farang000999]

Easy... just make sure the two of you act like a decent couple. Give and take a kiss from your girlfriend, and touch her waist when she walk pass, etc.

Also do not make it too obvious that you are trying to flaunt it, but easily noticed by your patrons.

By the way, obviously any girl would enjoy the attention. It's all natural. But there's a fine line and hope she doesn't cross it.

Easy... just make sure the two of you act like a decent couple. Give and take a kiss from your girlfriend, and touch her waist when she walk pass, etc.

Also do not make it too obvious that you are trying to flaunt it, but easily noticed by your patrons.

By the way, obviously any girl would enjoy the attention. It's all natural. But there's a fine line and hope she doesn't cross it.

so he should make it look like she is a bar girl kissing in public with her farang boyfriend? i am sure that will stop all the old horny tourists from trying to get a piece of her.