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Posted

My favourite sport is football. If,like me,you are a subscriber to True Visions Gold Package and it's add on HD channels,the Premier League's Football Today programme and it's little brother Football News,are essential viewing. Now we come to my second favourite sport which is picking apart the TV pundits,masquerading as experts and judges, and invariably ex footballers, with an IQ a mouse would be embarrassed with. And there,to tuck them in and mop their brow,is the master of bullshitting and ego massaging,John "In terms of " Dykes.

If you listen carefully,he will utter the phrase "in terms of" about every 10 seconds. It's a phrase that is meaningless and is a wordy and sloppy transision i.e "In terms of points,my understanding is that Man. Utd haven't enough".Why not get to the nitty gritty and say" I think Man. Utd. haven't enough points?" It's a generalisation,purposely ambiguous,because he's afraid of someone pulling him to pieces over it.

Last night,the Football News scoop was that " John Obi Mikel believes that Chelsea can win the Premier League" Well,.hold me back with a team of wild horses. I'm a Chelsea fan but how the <deleted> is this news? What else is he going to say? I'd be more interested if he said they couldn't win the League! Then,on BBC News came the revelation that " Harry Redknapp thinks that Gareth Bale is in the same bracket as Messi and Ronaldo." It's an opinion by an idiot that got world coverage. How is that news?

Ian Dowie sounds like an imbecile but isn't that bad. It's just that he tends t' forge' t' add th' las' letter to ev'ry wor' he sez. Andy Townsend and Craig Burley are both imbeciles and ARE bad, but woe betide you if Uncle John hears a semblance of criticism from the viewing public.

Undoubtedly my favourite is James Richardson. A very good judge in his own right,he dutifully spoon feeds the armchair sages, while sporting that mischievious grin,when you know that what he is really thinking is "Why the <deleted> am I asking these clowns for their opinion?"

Lastly,we come to the mind numbingly bad Fanzone. A complete waste of an hour in anybody's life.

Posted

Yes the Fanzone is about as informative as the Panda channel. i do agree with you that James Richardson is very good and well worth listening too.

Can't think of anyone else though in that bracket.

Posted

The best programmes are the ones where the usual suspects are joined by a prominent football writer,as was the case last night,where Michael Gray and Ian Dowie were separated by Patrick Barclay.and hosted by James Richardson. The bottom of the pit is a when the bloke who looks like a toad (his name escapes me) oversees a couple of ex footballers/managers,when it becomes a mutual appreciation society......" As Andy quite rightly pointed out"......."I agree wholeheartedly with Craig's analysis"........."That's why he's on this programme,another pearl of wisdom from Craig". It's syrupy and sickly.

The highlight of the programme last night was the piece on Neville Southall and Richardson's description of him as "the well rounded shot stopper"

Posted

oldgit, have you tried a bit of talksport radio streaming online?

Alan Brazil and Ronnie Irani thumbsup.gif

Keys & Gray not bad either

Sorry Bob but Andy Gray is an infantile knob with seemingly little or nothing to say other than pointless banal cliches

Posted

oldgit, have you tried a bit of talksport radio streaming online?

Alan Brazil and Ronnie Irani thumbsup.gif

Keys & Gray not bad either

Sorry Bob but Andy Gray is an infantile knob with seemingly little or nothing to say other than pointless banal cliches

I agree. When the pair were on Skysports,before they got kicked out, I thought they were rubbish. Gray continually patted himself on the back.

The Premier League Today programme last night,hosted by the toad, was a trip down memory lane which was all very straightforward for Graham Stuart until he was asked,at the end of the programme,what the score would be between Spurs and Chelsea." Ah, that's too close to call but it will be a hard game for RVB !" Robin Villas Boas?

Posted

Every single one of those pundits seems to think that the games exists just for them.

"For me, that was a nailed on penalty".

"For me, the referee got that one wrong".

"For me, I think he was offside".

It's not "for you", you illiterate retards.

Posted

Every single one of those pundits seems to think that the games exists just for them.

"For me, that was a nailed on penalty".

"For me, the referee got that one wrong".

"For me, I think he was offside".

It's not "for you", you illiterate retards.

Yeah,good one Chico. I remember Mick Channon using "for me, like" when he was trying to be controversial.

Posted

"I'm opening a boutique".How times have changed. It would more like an oil refinery nowadays.

I've just watched a replay of the Premier League preview show with James Richardson joined by a couple of second raters, motormouth Don Hutchinson and Dean Sturridge,who has an uncanny resemblance to an owl sitting on a branch. There was a classic quip by Richardson,just before a commercial break...."Queen Park Rangers are known as the 'R's',so with just two points from seven games,will Mark Hughes be out on his?"

  • Like 1
Posted

"I'm opening a boutique".How times have changed. It would more like an oil refinery nowadays.

I've just watched a replay of the Premier League preview show with James Richardson joined by a couple of second raters, motormouth Don Hutchinson and Dean Sturridge,who has an uncanny resemblance to an owl sitting on a branch. There was a classic quip by Richardson,just before a commercial break...."Queen Park Rangers are known as the 'R's',so with just two points from seven games,will Mark Hughes be out on his?"

And they have Arse-nal coming up next week don't they? I believe that might be his last game and a mouthy old crook will be taking over. Apologies, slightly off topic.

Posted

All we had when I first started watching football was Kenneth Wolstenholme.

Oh how times change !

Yeah,I was there as well,Ken. One of Wolstenholme's classic quotes......"What a great header by Chivers,it's like he's got a boot between his ears!"

  • Like 1
Posted

"I'm opening a boutique".How times have changed. It would more like an oil refinery nowadays.

I've just watched a replay of the Premier League preview show with James Richardson joined by a couple of second raters, motormouth Don Hutchinson and Dean Sturridge,who has an uncanny resemblance to an owl sitting on a branch. There was a classic quip by Richardson,just before a commercial break...."Queen Park Rangers are known as the 'R's',so with just two points from seven games,will Mark Hughes be out on his?"

And they have Arse-nal coming up next week don't they? I believe that might be his last game and a mouthy old crook will be taking over. Apologies, slightly off topic.

"Stoke City must be part of the cubist movement because most of their games finish up all square".

  • Like 1
Posted

Don Hutchinson's missus must be suicidal over the amount of times he changes his mind (I'll have steak and kidney pie,no I won't I'll have chicken and chips). He was at it again last night,on the Preview programme, saying that Mikel was a weak link in the Chelsea team and Chelsea "needed to sign Check Tiote to add some steel in midfield" and then,not five minutes later,was laying into Tiote saying that his style of play was from a bygone era and has no place in the Premier League.

He also came up with a startling revelation that "he thought that,at the start of the season,the two Manchester clubs would finish ten or twelve points above the rest" but came to the august conclusion that "he thought Chelsea now look the real deal and will be challenging for the Premier League at the end of the season".I wonder if the fact that Chelsea are 4 points clear had anything to do with his about turn?

It's about time these people started to earn their money by telling us something we DON'T know instead of the usual,middle of the road,mundane crap to fill up air time.

Posted

Efan Ekoku is good though thumbsup.gif

He is good,Red,but he's also a big old lump so he doesn't get any back chat from the others.

Posted

Efan Ekoku is good though thumbsup.gif

He is good,Red,but he's also a big old lump so he doesn't get any back chat from the others.

He is my old mate thumbsup.gif and i don't backchat him either.

Posted

Efan Ekoku is good though thumbsup.gif

He is good,Red,but he's also a big old lump so he doesn't get any back chat from the others.

He is my old mate thumbsup.gif and i don't backchat him either.

That ses it all !!!!

Posted

Toadface excelled himself last night. Alan Curbishly,who thinks West Ham and Sam Allardyce walk on water,has been banging on about how 'Big Sam' will "target" certain games in the season."The Southamptons',the Readings',the Wigans' of this world".No other world,you understand,only this one.

So,commenting on the Wigan v West Ham game,Curbishly again remarked" Big Sam would have been disappointed as he would have targetted this game for three points."

Toadface: "Yes,but wouldn't Martinez also have targetted three points as well?"

Curbishly: "Ahem,yes I suppose so, (wriggling like a worm on a hook) still,West Ham never win north of Watford anyway!"

Nervous laughter ensues from Curbishly and his mucker Burley. They can never be seen to be wrong.

The previous day, a question posed by a Skysports reporter to David Moyes "David,given the history of red cards in matches between Everton and Liverpool,how important is it that Everton keep 11 players on the pitch." Well now,there's a question that taxes the grey matter.

  • Like 1
  • 5 months later...
Posted

On Tuesday night's Football Review show,everybody waxing lyrical about Van Persie's second goal and Ian Dowie describing it as "like a paintbrush!" Yet another case of an ex footballer,masquerading as a pundit and putting his mouth in gear before his brain. Very similar to Rio Ferdinand's earlier comment that "everybody should step up to the mantelpiece".

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

What about David Pleat he's like the George Bush of football commentary

"There's a little bit of a South American touch, if that's not Irish, about this European side, Portugal"

"I was inbred into the game by my father"

''Ive just noticed something interesting, the left and right backs have both got long sleeve shirts on"

"I'm not too sure how much you get for winning the Champion's League, but it's definitely 10 million euro"

"There we see the little man trying to scratch the big man”

"Marseille needed to score first, and that never looked likely once Liverpool had taken the lead"

"I've seen some players with very big feet, and some with very small feet"

Edited by BangrakBob
Posted

What about David Pleat he's like the George Bush of football commentary

"There's a little bit of a South American touch, if that's not Irish, about this European side, Portugal"

"I was inbred into the game by my father"

''Ive just noticed something interesting, the left and right backs have both got long sleeve shirts on"

"I'm not too sure how much you get for winning the Champion's League, but it's definitely 10 million euro"

"There we see the little man trying to scratch the big man”

"Marseille needed to score first, and that never looked likely once Liverpool had taken the lead"

"I've seen some players with very big feet, and some with very small feet"

He does come out with some stoomers,Bob, because he doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut.but,I'd much rather listen to what he's got to say than most of them.

Raul Fox was on the Premier League programme a couple of weeks ago and come up with a classic.

James Richardson:" Well Raul,that was a bad tackle that could have ended his career."

Ral Fox:" Yeah,football is a tough game and,at the end of the day,you're lucky to come out of it with your limbs intact!"

Blimey,arms and legs in danger of amputation. It is tough.

  • Like 1
  • 8 months later...
Posted

By popular demand, CTH have incorporated a Stadium Channel 7 which includes the English speaking Premier League package which we enjoyed(?) last season with True Vision. Uncle John is still there to mop the brows and massage the egos of the ' arm chair experts' but Craig Burley,fortunately, looks like he's departed to another channel.

Having just seen the Premier League Kick Off programme,the incomparable James Richardson,with the blond haired bird,Sean whats-his-name,a sports writer and Leroy Rosenior,who's alright in my book, had me chuckling once again.

Richardson to an on-the spot reporter at Hull's ground: "Well,on-the-spot reporter,it looks like Hull are following the Jelavic road".

The reporter:"Yes, we haven't got a lion or a tin man here but we've got a tiger!"

Richardson to same reporter:" Hull had only let in 3 goals at home all season.Then they ship 3 against Man.United in their last home game. What went wrong?"

The reporter:" Well,the problem was that Hull maybe scored too early and had a long time to defend their lead."

Richardson:" Yes,they say 2-0 is the most dangerous score to defend in football!"

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