What's The Big Deal About Marrying A Girl You Met In A Bar ?

Rob8891 · October 28, 2012

if you met your wife in a bar, park,club, beach, dosnt matter,

be happy,

jake

Is this a serious question? Of course it matters.

That is really a ridiculously idealogical statement. If you met your wife in church as opposed to a brothel, then it would be fair to assume who is more likely to be trustworthy, reliable, etc

So if you met a woman (who just happens to be a prostitute) while she was on her knees in church, that's OK according to your (lack of) logic. However if she was in a similar position elsewhere it's not? isn't it a pity that you use church as an example then ignore Christ's teachings about acceptance of others. Typical blind hypocrisy

noob7 · October 28, 2012

If you say it often enough, you just might start believing that.

I know her and her entire family very well for six years. Stayed with them many times, traveled in Thailand with them. There are many, many professionals who have tattoos who are not in any way sex-workers. A tattoo has nothing to do with what people do for a living.

You are right, it doesn't - directly, but its also true that the vast majority of sex workers in Thailand have tattoos, and that indirect correlation is not lost on the vast majority of people in Thai society - native and foreigner alike.

<its also true that the vast majority of sex workers in Thailand have tattoos>

And you know this because.............................................?

We can bring that down to statistics!

You walk around in a bar area, one like Patong/Bangla

You take a look at all the girls, you see, p.ex. in/under Tiger, in the bar area.

You get yourself two of these, decide the tattoo clicking with the stronger hand.

And after half the way, you will have to change the hands, b/c the 'no-tattoos' hand is still powerful and waiting for another click, every now and then, but the other is tired already!

Don't use a cheap counter with 3 digits, only! i mean, for tattoo girls counting! For the other one, a pen and a kradatt will be enough, methinks

Edited October 28, 2012 by noob7

chiangmaikelly · October 28, 2012

I know her and her entire family very well for six years. Stayed with them many times, traveled in Thailand with them. There are many, many professionals who have tattoos who are not in any way sex-workers. A tattoo has nothing to do with what people do for a living.

You are right, it doesn't - directly, but its also true that the vast majority of sex workers in Thailand have tattoos, and that indirect correlation is not lost on the vast majority of people in Thai society - native and foreigner alike.

<its also true that the vast majority of sex workers in Thailand have tattoos>

And you know this because.............................................?

We can bring that down to statistics!

You walk around in a bar area, one like Patong/Bangla

You take a look at all the girls, you see, p.ex. in/under Tiger, in the bar area.

You get yourself two of these, decide the tattoo clicking with the stronger hand.

And after half the way, you will have to change the hands, b/c the 'no-tattoos' hand is still powerful and waiting for another click, every now and then, but the other is tired already!

Don't use a cheap counter with 3 digits, only! i mean, for tattoo girls counting! For the other one, a pen and a kradatt will be enough, methinks

Perhaps one needs to do a survey of Thai Visa members who have been to a go go. I heard the last one went in 1976 though.

noob7 · October 28, 2012

You are right, it doesn't - directly, but its also true that the vast majority of sex workers in Thailand have tattoos, and that indirect correlation is not lost on the vast majority of people in Thai society - native and foreigner alike.

<its also true that the vast majority of sex workers in Thailand have tattoos>

And you know this because.............................................?

We can bring that down to statistics!

You walk around in a bar area, one like Patong/Bangla

You take a look at all the girls, you see, p.ex. in/under Tiger, in the bar area.

You get yourself two of these, decide the tattoo clicking with the stronger hand.

And after half the way, you will have to change the hands, b/c the 'no-tattoos' hand is still powerful and waiting for another click, every now and then, but the other is tired already!

Don't use a cheap counter with 3 digits, only! i mean, for tattoo girls counting! For the other one, a pen and a kradatt will be enough, methinks

Perhaps one needs to do a survey of Thai Visa members who have been to a go go. I heard the last one went in 1976 though.

Going to a go go bar leaves one hand totally free, for the beer!

BigJohnnyBKK · October 28, 2012

For those that it applies to.... If you'd wholeheartedly support your son or daughter's decision to marry a current or former prostitute than you probably really believe what you're saying. Otherwise you're just rationalizing and trying to put a positive spin on a decision you might not be able to go back on.

Yes, absolutely, some of my best wives have been sex workers and in fact the Australian mother of my first set of children did escort work there for three years to save for the house she wanted to build. She was a fully trained nurse, head of a surgery unit, very intelligent and what most here would consider a ball-busting feminist and was not in the least bothered by any moral issues about her work, in fact both of us and all our close friends were proud of her. She has since then become very active in the sex workers' rights movement - prostitution is now legal there, and has done a lot to remove the domination of the industry there from the previous criminal elements and put more power in the hands of the workers themselves.

If any of my kids wanted to marry a sex worker or become one themselves, no problem, much more honorable way to make a living than being a PR flack, corporate attorney or investment banker these days.

As a matter of pure personal preference and practicality, not moral judgment, these days I prefer girls with less experience and lower financial expectations, and concede there are a higher percentage of scam artists among sex workers than the general population.

Not so the wealthy Thais I've met though; some of the finest people I've met in Thailand have been sex workers, and some of the biggest scumballs are the rich ones.

tinfoilhat · October 28, 2012

it would seem to me that the big deal about marrying anybody, is that you have married them and in doing so entered into an agreement that may bring you either joy or pain

Tchooptip · October 28, 2012

Personally my point is to avoid any areas where there are any farang at all, only consider girls with zero level of English and as close to zero level of experience with men in general as possible.

This is really, really good advice. And it's what I've been trying to tell friends and acquaintances from the west seeking Thai girls. Sure, there are some Thai girls who speak English well and are honest and decent. But the percentages are much better among those who don't speak much English. And in much larger numbers. These guys who can't speak Thai have no idea what's really available out there. It's almost unfair. If you can speak Thai in Thailand, the world is your oyster.

What a BS with regards to English... the majority of younger (<30y) Thai women now speaks English as they learn it in school or learned it for their normal job either in restaurants, hotels, shopping centers etc., has nothing at all to do with the "hooking up with falang" and not being "honest and decent".

Stupid generalization from my point of view

Your not alone with your point of view

The Smithy · October 28, 2012

If you say it often enough, you just might start believing that.

I know her and her entire family very well for six years. Stayed with them many times, traveled in Thailand with them. There are many, many professionals who have tattoos who are not in any way sex-workers. A tattoo has nothing to do with what people do for a living.

You are right, it doesn't - directly, but its also true that the vast majority of sex workers in Thailand have tattoos, and that indirect correlation is not lost on the vast majority of people in Thai society - native and foreigner alike.

<its also true that the vast majority of sex workers in Thailand have tattoos>

And you know this because.............................................?

I know this because I live in Thailand!

Chittychangchang · October 28, 2012

Actually it does, if you have a tattoo, you won't be working for the Thai government.

Really ? The army guys here don't have tattoos ? A century ago the warriors were covered with them.

But I have from a good source that those all died already.

Also as a soldier with the chance, to die in the field, you don't work, you serve

Some heavily tatooed warriors "serving" in Pattaya!

Edited October 28, 2012 by Chittychangchang

BigJohnnyBKK · October 29, 2012

Your not alone with your point of view

Are you still seriously agreeing with the following claim??

"More than 50% of the female Thai population under the age 30 can speak English"

A quick review of facts as opposed to fantasy:

Just looking at rural areas, where the vast majority of the population lives, you'd have a hard time finding people that are paid to teach English that can actually speak the language (can you really call them "English teachers"?).

The average girl out there stops going to school by 15, huge numbers by 13, either because her family can't afford the books, school uniform and daily pocket money, or because she has to work to support the family.

Even out of the relatively wealthy university students currently taking English courses, only a minority of this statistically tiny group could hold a coherent conversation past the formulaic first ten minutes of introductory "where you come from" Q&A.

So unless you define "speaking English" as "able to sing the ABC song getting more than 5 letters right" your statement is a total crock.

BigJohnnyBKK · October 29, 2012

There are two things that constantly amaze me about Thailand.

1. The number of girls prepared to do a bit of freelance work (no matter what their social status) on the side.

2. The inability of foreigners to realize who is available for aforesaid work.

I've met guys who didn't have a clue their misses (or daughter) was hooking on the side, let alone long term family friends. I agree, many have never worked in a bar. BGs are in the minority of sex workers in Thailand. Absolutely rife among Thai celebs, pop singers, movie stars, Tv actresses and I'm guessing the fashion industry would be included in that list.

You will find that last bit to be very true in America as well, at least by what I presume to be your very wide definition of "hooking".

The Thais would only label explicit street-walking or low-end brothel work as prostitution. Personally I reserve the term "sex worker" for one who makes most of their income that way.

Just accepting money/gifts/career favors from a man you slept with doesn't make you one in my books. A true prostitute won't sleep with you without setting an explicit price beforehand, but it's true that most of the time if she's not obviously wealthier than you, you should offer her a not-insulting amount afterwards - does that make her a "hooker".

So it's really hard to define the terms, much less try to estimate numbers. But quibbling aside, in my experience you're certainly right about the fact that their actual behaviour is a far far cry from the publicly touted mores. True everywhere of course, but here the society does go to Victorian lengths to preserve the public myths of "proper" behavior.

As long as you look respectable and ask with politeness and discretion, you will very rarely offend an attractive woman by coming out with a direct proposition, 99% of the time it's taken as a compliment even if she turns you down. Of course coupling that request with an offer of payment is disrespectful outside of the areas where that's obviously on offer. But if it's framed as a request for a date, with getting the phone number as a fallback, you will indeed have a much higher hit rate here even among young stunners than you would back home among average girls.

But the key is discretion, most especially if you encounter her within a context where people who know her are observing - sometimes you can't do more than just have a polite conversation and slip her your phone number.

Personally I find this approach to be overly time-consuming and expensive - I prefer to "woo" the girl mainly through her family - but some guys do enjoy the above as a kind of sport, and Thailand is certainly a high-value target-rich playing field no matter how you play the game.

Edited October 29, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

TwoDogz · October 29, 2012

it would seem to me that the big deal about marrying anybody, is that you have married them and in doing so entered into an agreement that may bring you either joy or pain

Sometimes both

akspace · October 29, 2012

Well i wouldnt marry a girl who was covered in tatoos ,she may be a hi so Thai Chinese with lots of money ,but i doubt it living here in Pattaya the ones covered in tatoos tend to be the bar workers ,i live on an estate of what i would say consist mainly of Thais with a fair income and i have never seen one of them adult or youngsters sporting a tatoo (mind you none of the ladies have exposed their backs or hidden bits to me )

To be honest ,its the same with farangs ,when i see them walking down beach road in their shorts and cut away vests covered in tatoos i rarely think "oh he looks like a high class holiday maker ,must be a one of those city types ,I mean, do you ever think that ?"

I'm glad my tattoos make me low class despite the three college degrees and a multi-million baht salary.

Personally I don't judge anyone until I get to know them.

TwoDogz · October 29, 2012

Multi million baht salary sounds cool....never thought of it like that.

But I don't have any tattoos.

Nor 3 college degrees.

Not even one actually.

djbarry · October 29, 2012

well, there are many things to consider. 1. Was she soliciting sex??? 2. Is she 20 years old, and u are 70???

i'm not being rude, just simply getting to the core...

djbarry

chiangmaikelly · October 29, 2012

well, there are many things to consider. 1. Was she soliciting sex??? 2. Is she 20 years old, and u are 70???

i'm not being rude, just simply getting to the core...

djbarry

I think it is being rude. Why not ask race and religion too?

djbarry · October 29, 2012

the fact that she is working in a bar in Thailand is a good indication of her nationality/race. and 2;what's religion got to do with anything???

Sooooo, am i being rude for not asking this or???

djbarry

chiangmaikelly · October 29, 2012

the fact that she is working in a bar in Thailand is a good indication of her nationality/race. and 2;what's religion got to do with anything???

Sooooo, am i being rude for not asking this or???

djbarry

Age (beyond legal age), race and religion. Same same. Bigots judge people and relationships on those three categories.

You wrote, " well, there are many things to consider. 1. Was she soliciting sex??? 2. Is she 20 years old, and u are 70???

i'm not being rude, just simply getting to the core..."

Heng · October 29, 2012

For those that it applies to.... If you'd wholeheartedly support your son or daughter's decision to marry a current or former prostitute than you probably really believe what you're saying. Otherwise you're just rationalizing and trying to put a positive spin on a decision you might not be able to go back on.

Some of the nicest people I have met in Thailand and back home were prostitutes ( I say were, as I have lost track of them all over the years, and have no idea what they are doing now ).

I certainly would support an offspring's wish to marry/ live with a former ( not currently working as ) prostitute, provided they were a nice person, and would make my child happy.

I've known some nice working girls as well. Great to do just about anything with other than marry and have children with. The emotional damage and resulting instability sustained during their 'career' would surface periodically during the course of the 'relationship,' (and to keep it real... who hasn't seen this?) which is fine for adults.... but hardly an acceptable situation for someone that you'd have to leave your children alone with. Recipe for disaster. Just IMO. For foreigners, add the financial issues that have to be factored in because of local property laws, that just makes the stakes even higher.