DavoTheGun Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 If you love her, set her free, if she reutrns lock the doors. Would like to talk about your Mug Holders, on a different subject entirely, how do we contact each other? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancealot Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Thank guys for your advise, I will take all on board, I will sleep on it tonight and see what happens in the morning!! perhaps one last Boom Boom! I have only been with 2 Thai women thus far, last one got me big time! Come on dave, that's not the answer we would like to hear... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavoTheGun Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 Thank guys for your advise, I will take all on board, I will sleep on it tonight and see what happens in the morning!! perhaps one last Boom Boom! I have only been with 2 Thai women thus far, last one got me big time! What does 'big time' exactly equate to? While booming, you want to make the last one really wild, tell her you are kicking her out in the morning. 200000bt was got for. long sad story! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post BigJohnnyBKK Posted October 27, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted October 27, 2012 200000bt was got for. long sad story! Chalk it up as a very valuable learning experience. Worth every penny, but only if you learn from it. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoDogz Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 And don't get into another live-in relationship until you've got your shit together, strict budget, money coming in faster than you're spending it, total costs for women including all indirect costs less than you're spending on your housing. perhaps one last Boom Boom! Don't do it! Might end up being the most expensive session of your life. Be strong. You don't need her. You really don't. Don't worry, I won't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoDogz Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 200000bt was got for. long sad story! Chalk it up as a very valuable learning experience. Worth every penny, but only if you learn from it. 200k not so much, but as BJ says, learn from it and consider it money well spent for the future...but only if you have the ability to learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavoTheGun Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 200000bt was got for. long sad story! Chalk it up as a very valuable learning experience. Worth every penny, but only if you learn from it. 200k not so much, but as BJ says, learn from it and consider it money well spent for the future...but only if you have the ability to learn. Again would like to talk about your Mug Holders Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevvy Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 think with your real head ... most thai women dont know about love .... not all there are lucky ones out there and i am one of them , no way would this happen if your women really loved you ... just take it easy and relax and think it out ... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cooked Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Wow, you seem to be doing it all wrong according to these guys. You have to sit down with her and talk. This isn't a Thai problem in my view, it's a man woman thing with a Thai accent. Tell her why you reacted like this, tell her what you feel and how you intend to go on if you continue in the relationship. Maintain eye contact. If she can't agree to this (I suspect she won't) then you must move on. If she starts again, no more discussions, you go, take the buffalo with you. Absolute <deleted>, zero% chance of such a discussion leading to anything but confusion, shouting and tears. Logic has absolutely no part to play in this situation and will only make things worse. Absolutely nothing can salvage this situation 100% sure. No point in explaining anything, just disappear, poof in a puff of smoke and don't look back. Yes, quite possibly, I love your choice of language by the way. Just disappearing is the coward's way out, I am not talking about explaining stuff but about laying your stuff out on the table. You can end the 'discussion' in 5 minutes or 5 days... it is not about the feelings of the girl, it's about the OP's feelings. He will get things sorted out in his mind instead of thinking for years 'if only I had..' ...you go to funerals to say good bye, just leaving leaves an unpleasant feeling of guilt. Maybe you never felt these feelings? The guy should say good bye. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavoTheGun Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 Keep Talking among yourselves guys, all insights are useful for me! The whole thing has me confused, I ran a large company for many years, very successfully I might add, but this has me stuffed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guzzi850m2 Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 I agree with the other posters, leave for good, change your mobile no. and e-mail address and don't look back. 200 K bath is not the end of the world, could have been much worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harrry Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) Davo...you ran a company. How many employees did you take back who had their hands in the till or walked off from work and laid down conditions for coming back. If you did any of the above how long till they did it again bigtime. Not saying she is an employee but similar thinking applies in partnerships if one of the partners did this. Edited October 27, 2012 by harrry 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancealot Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Keep Talking among yourselves guys, all insights are useful for me! The whole thing has me confused, I ran a large company for many years, very successfully I might add, but this has me stuffed! Good for you! You are brave to post your feelings. The choice you will make will be hopefully 1 that makes you happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavoTheGun Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 Um! nobody. point taken! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturatica Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 The fact you're moaning about this on an internet forum means that you're obviously not happy... Do what you think is best for you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavoTheGun Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 Keep Talking among yourselves guys, all insights are useful for me! The whole thing has me confused, I ran a large company for many years, very successfully I might add, but this has me stuffed! Good for you! You are brave to post your feelings. The choice you will make will be hopefully 1 that makes you happy. Ha, somebody with some sensitivities, like me, i nursed my now dead wife for 2 Years, have not had a women for 4 Years, thought I had found love again, but hear plenty of cynics to say the least, I do not think I am blameless with all of this crap. but the culture has me very much out on a limb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post SteeleJoe Posted October 27, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) Where to begin? I've got too much to say and it's pretty much been said. But I'll say this... Been here nearly 3 decades. Used to run some famous bars. Because of the length of time I've been here and what I used to do, I've seen many a story and had many guys come to me with theirs. And as a student of sociology and psychology, I applied what is a decent intellect of over a few years looking at this stuff and thinking about it. LISTEN to these guys (except the one who says to sit down and talk). BigJohnnyBKK has NAILED it. 100%. I am NOT a basher of Thai women. More often than not, I lay much of the blame on "the victim". I have been with a wonderful Thai woman for 20 years and she is by no means the only one of sterling character I've known (just the first one I met once I was ready to settle down). But you need to get away from this woman. Someone who really cared about you would not treat you this way, and frankly any chance that she would really care for you was lost when, by your actions (and lack of), she lost any respect she might have for you. By the way, among all those stories I've heard 1st and secondhand? More than a few were of guys who were very, very successful businessmen and who lost their minds -- and lots of money -- over some brilliantly manipulative, sexy, charming Thai girl (some of whom I knew and liked!) Edited October 27, 2012 by SteeleJoe 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob7 Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) Yes I understand all of this but I really care about this lady, she is Not lady bar, works hard cleaning albeit only 2 Hours a day, OK by me keeps here in touch with here mates. She has now come back but without her "shirts" so she can go quickly if I Yak Yak her again, so has foot in 2 camps so to speak, do you think should let her go guys? It is doing my head in big time! She's on the move, looking for another, oops, nicer djaaai deeee maak money cow, methinks. Ever thought about, why a girl from the north has to go to Pattaya or Phuket, to work in a job with almost the same money, but higher living costs, like in her home area? Because the option, either to meet a Bf/later husband, or earn money aside is much bigger there! She's now playing the "he looks sad, maybe he will do, what i want. Anyway stay with him, till new man comes, is better for me"-card. Just my opinion, but seen that many times around. the 'not in Bars' working girls with a normal job have the same pressure, from home, as the bar girls: A rising money flow is expected! Edited October 27, 2012 by noob7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McMagus Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Ah ha, I can sense a case of 'Yellow Fever'... very easy to catch, with a convoluted and uncertain prognosis. It can often be a long, painful and protracted convalescence. The main thing to do is not to continually revisit the site of the scar. Even though there is a great temptation to pull at the scab to see if it still hurts, invariably the wounds are deeper than initially diagnosed. Most males seem to catch this tropical infection from time to time, some have been known to become reinfected continually and need repatriation to their own country. As the infection runs its course from first signs to full blown infection, it is usual for the patient to spend inordinate amounts of money on a cure. Recent research indicates that the infection is most likely a virus and the vector a member of the opposite sex. The Disease Control Centre in Houston has tentatively named it Pecuniaris Jaunditerious owing to the presence in the patient of a jaundiced view of reality and the vector's need for constant money input. Local ethnic remedies are sometimes effective however caution is advised since reinfection can happen at any time. It is best to let it run its course as it is seldom fatal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob7 Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) You don' t let her go. A man orders her to leave. Be a man. Thai girls aren't leaving, you have to push 'em If you love her, set her free, if she reutrns lock the doors. Before she can come in! Edited October 27, 2012 by noob7 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob7 Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) perhaps one last Boom Boom!I have only been with 2 Thai women thus far, last one got me big time! mmmh, why I think, she will performe better, as you've ever seen it before? Ah, because I was with more of 2 Thai womwn together, and are 'talking friend' to a lot others. Did I mention it, they telling you everything, about everything, as long it is not direct connected with you, at that time. Edited October 27, 2012 by noob7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteeleJoe Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 'Have you ever heard - "what you allow, you condone"? If you act like a doormat, you'll be treated like one.' Fact. And Thai people, even more than most, have little or no pity for people they don't respect and respect for people who allow themselves to be disrespected. " Even if she doesn't mean to be a scam artist, you have created a situation where she thinks that's normal behavior and she will only expect more of the same. She's treating you badly when you're being 100% kind and generous, imagine how she'll treat you when you start being sensible and cautious! Fact. She may not be a terrible person at heart (and she may be) but there's no chance of you changing this relationship into one of mutual respect and consideration. Get out of town, don't contact any people that she knows and I'm sure she'll have a new victim within a month or two and maybe you can come back - but IMO probably not, better to completely disappear without a trace AFASC. Otherwise she'll only sponge off you while she's looking for the next victim and leave you anyway, and your life will be shit for months and years in the meantime. Fact. I've seen guys make that mistake -- or the supposed attempt to gradually disengage (when in fact they still hope it will somehow go back to that god stuff and she will suddenly be the girl he imagined). This never was real love, she is just a drug to you taking you away from your pain and you're addicted. She's addicted to your money and thinks that she can control you with emotional blackmail. 100% poison in both directions, in that sense you're perfect for each other, as long as you have infinite wealth to pour into her infinitely large black hole. Spot On. Even if she comes crawling begging to be taken back, swearing she'll be your sex slave forever for free because she loves you loves you loves you can't live without her. Which is a total fantasy of course, even when that's true face will never allow them to admit it. . . Don't believe her, both of you will revert back to your old patterns before you know it, you playing her toy poodle her holding the leash leading you wherever she wants to go, any resistance on your part she starts dragging you by the collar kicking and screaming. Get out while the getting's good, it's an ideal opportunity see it as the lucky blessing that it truly is while you still have some assets, even more importantly get your self-dignity back. Believe it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soi41 Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Keep Talking among yourselves guys, all insights are useful for me! The whole thing has me confused, I ran a large company for many years, very successfully I might add, but this has me stuffed! Good for you! You are brave to post your feelings. The choice you will make will be hopefully 1 that makes you happy. Ha, somebody with some sensitivities, like me, i nursed my now dead wife for 2 Years, have not had a women for 4 Years, thought I had found love again, but hear plenty of cynics to say the least, I do not think I am blameless with all of this crap. but the culture has me very much out on a limb. Doesn't have anything to do with culture whatsoever. You have found a nasty bitch, who happens to speak Thai!It took her about 2 seconds to figure out your vunerable situation, and from thereon, she has been running the show. If you don't grow a pair, the story is set to repeat itself with your next GF, and the next............... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weegee Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Davo....We dont know each other...you have been given very good advise on these threads....so....If you are concerned about being alone in a foreigeign country if you leave and disappear, thinking, oh shit, i have to start again!!.......contact me thru the mods, and you are welcome to clear your head here for a while, if it will help....There is plenty of room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavoTheGun Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 Davo....We dont know each other...you have been given very good advise on these threads....so....If you are concerned about being alone in a foreigeign country if you leave and disappear, thinking, oh shit, i have to start again!!.......contact me thru the mods, and you are welcome to clear your head here for a while, if it will help....There is plenty of room. Sorry, Please explain! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancealot Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) 'Have you ever heard - "what you allow, you condone"? If you act like a doormat, you'll be treated like one.' Fact. And Thai people, even more than most, have little or no pity for people they don't respect and respect for people who allow themselves to be disrespected. " Even if she doesn't mean to be a scam artist, you have created a situation where she thinks that's normal behavior and she will only expect more of the same. She's treating you badly when you're being 100% kind and generous, imagine how she'll treat you when you start being sensible and cautious! Fact. She may not be a terrible person at heart (and she may be) but there's no chance of you changing this relationship into one of mutual respect and consideration. Get out of town, don't contact any people that she knows and I'm sure she'll have a new victim within a month or two and maybe you can come back - but IMO probably not, better to completely disappear without a trace AFASC. Otherwise she'll only sponge off you while she's looking for the next victim and leave you anyway, and your life will be shit for months and years in the meantime. Fact. I've seen guys make that mistake -- or the supposed attempt to gradually disengage (when in fact they still hope it will somehow go back to that god stuff and she will suddenly be the girl he imagined). This never was real love, she is just a drug to you taking you away from your pain and you're addicted. She's addicted to your money and thinks that she can control you with emotional blackmail. 100% poison in both directions, in that sense you're perfect for each other, as long as you have infinite wealth to pour into her infinitely large black hole. Spot On. Even if she comes crawling begging to be taken back, swearing she'll be your sex slave forever for free because she loves you loves you loves you can't live without her. Which is a total fantasy of course, even when that's true face will never allow them to admit it. . . Don't believe her, both of you will revert back to your old patterns before you know it, you playing her toy poodle her holding the leash leading you wherever she wants to go, any resistance on your part she starts dragging you by the collar kicking and screaming. Get out while the getting's good, it's an ideal opportunity see it as the lucky blessing that it truly is while you still have some assets, even more importantly get your self-dignity back. Believe it! Nuff said. Steely Joe nailed it. He actually took the time to explain what i was lazy to post. Good work. Davo. read this: But Steely said: thais have respect for people who allow themselves to be disrespected. Are you sure about this? Because i totally agree with that, not only in Thailand. Edited October 27, 2012 by Dancealot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weegee Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Davo....We dont know each other...you have been given very good advise on these threads....so....If you are concerned about being alone in a foreigeign country if you leave and disappear, thinking, oh shit, i have to start again!!.......contact me thru the mods, and you are welcome to clear your head here for a while, if it will help....There is plenty of room. Sorry, Please explain! I am offering you a little bit of assistance if you want for a while.....You have to get out now!!!!!!....read it again. Dont procrustinate!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteeleJoe Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 'Have you ever heard - "what you allow, you condone"? If you act like a doormat, you'll be treated like one.' Fact. And Thai people, even more than most, have little or no pity for people they don't respect and respect for people who allow themselves to be disrespected. " Even if she doesn't mean to be a scam artist, you have created a situation where she thinks that's normal behavior and she will only expect more of the same. She's treating you badly when you're being 100% kind and generous, imagine how she'll treat you when you start being sensible and cautious! Fact. She may not be a terrible person at heart (and she may be) but there's no chance of you changing this relationship into one of mutual respect and consideration. Get out of town, don't contact any people that she knows and I'm sure she'll have a new victim within a month or two and maybe you can come back - but IMO probably not, better to completely disappear without a trace AFASC. Otherwise she'll only sponge off you while she's looking for the next victim and leave you anyway, and your life will be shit for months and years in the meantime. Fact. I've seen guys make that mistake -- or the supposed attempt to gradually disengage (when in fact they still hope it will somehow go back to that god stuff and she will suddenly be the girl he imagined). This never was real love, she is just a drug to you taking you away from your pain and you're addicted. She's addicted to your money and thinks that she can control you with emotional blackmail. 100% poison in both directions, in that sense you're perfect for each other, as long as you have infinite wealth to pour into her infinitely large black hole. Spot On. Even if she comes crawling begging to be taken back, swearing she'll be your sex slave forever for free because she loves you loves you loves you can't live without her. Which is a total fantasy of course, even when that's true face will never allow them to admit it. . . Don't believe her, both of you will revert back to your old patterns before you know it, you playing her toy poodle her holding the leash leading you wherever she wants to go, any resistance on your part she starts dragging you by the collar kicking and screaming. Get out while the getting's good, it's an ideal opportunity see it as the lucky blessing that it truly is while you still have some assets, even more importantly get your self-dignity back. Believe it! Nuff said. Steely Joe nailed it. He actually took the time to explain what i was lazy to post. Good work. Davo. read this: But Steely said: thais have respect for people who allow themselves to be disrespected. Are you sure about this? Because i totally agree with that, not only in Thailand. 'Have you ever heard - "what you allow, you condone"? If you act like a doormat, you'll be treated like one.' Fact. And Thai people, even more than most, have little or no pity for people they don't respect and respect for people who allow themselves to be disrespected. " Even if she doesn't mean to be a scam artist, you have created a situation where she thinks that's normal behavior and she will only expect more of the same. She's treating you badly when you're being 100% kind and generous, imagine how she'll treat you when you start being sensible and cautious! Fact. She may not be a terrible person at heart (and she may be) but there's no chance of you changing this relationship into one of mutual respect and consideration. Get out of town, don't contact any people that she knows and I'm sure she'll have a new victim within a month or two and maybe you can come back - but IMO probably not, better to completely disappear without a trace AFASC. Otherwise she'll only sponge off you while she's looking for the next victim and leave you anyway, and your life will be shit for months and years in the meantime. Fact. I've seen guys make that mistake -- or the supposed attempt to gradually disengage (when in fact they still hope it will somehow go back to that god stuff and she will suddenly be the girl he imagined). This never was real love, she is just a drug to you taking you away from your pain and you're addicted. She's addicted to your money and thinks that she can control you with emotional blackmail. 100% poison in both directions, in that sense you're perfect for each other, as long as you have infinite wealth to pour into her infinitely large black hole. Spot On. Even if she comes crawling begging to be taken back, swearing she'll be your sex slave forever for free because she loves you loves you loves you can't live without her. Which is a total fantasy of course, even when that's true face will never allow them to admit it. . . Don't believe her, both of you will revert back to your old patterns before you know it, you playing her toy poodle her holding the leash leading you wherever she wants to go, any resistance on your part she starts dragging you by the collar kicking and screaming. Get out while the getting's good, it's an ideal opportunity see it as the lucky blessing that it truly is while you still have some assets, even more importantly get your self-dignity back. Believe it! Nuff said. Steely Joe nailed it. He actually took the time to explain what i was lazy to post. Good work. Davo. read this: But Steely said: thais have respect for people who allow themselves to be disrespected. Are you sure about this? Because i totally agree with that, not only in Thailand. First of all, most of that (all of the stuff i italics) was me quoting someone else and they deserve any credit for taking time to put it so well But that line -- that I did write -- should be thais have NO respect for people who allow themselves to be disrespected. And I did say this was true with most people but maybe even more with Thais. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Songhua Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 If I were the OP the most valuable thing I'd be noting and taking a deal of comfort in is the very direction this thread has taken. It's always frustrating to see someone being led down a path they were not destined for and the many helpful and sincere posts here seem to indicate that the OP is recognised by many to be a decent, intelligent bloke with a genuine problem in this regard. Refreshingly, he has not been pounced upon by the pack, but rather has been given some good, sound advice. This in itself should be his answer. As much as it will hurt in the short term OP, do what you know you have to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJohnnyBKK Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Sorry, Please explain! People are feeling so strongly about your plight they are inviting you to come stay at their house for free, in case the cost of a room is stopping you from getting out of your rut condo. Don't believe those that say disappearing is "the coward's way" - it's not an issue of fear, just IMO the only way to have freedom and peace of mind. As long as she thinks there's any hope she'll keep trying, even while she's got a half-dozen other guys in various stages of the sell cycle, and act as if she's got the right to be jealous, tell you what to do etc. Out of sight out of mind, shortcut to getting your sanity and happiness back. Pack your stuff into boxes tonight, rent a cheap room and get it all moved out tomorrow. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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