Are Farang Supposed To Be Disregarded As To There Sensitivities.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Have you never wondered why Thais use the pronound 'mun' after the word 'farang'?

Then you are conversing with Thais that disrespect us as a class, most likely in areas where we congregate. I have never come across that with normal Thais outside those areas.

And just because I use the word "cat" rather than "feline mammal" doesn't mean I think they're all the same (petting my much-loved mumsie-wumsie. . .)

Please everyone else who agrees with me that this idea of neeraram and ayayay's is a crock, please "Like this" or reply with a +1. . .

[Trembly]

OK here we go .........

Don't say NO, agree to everything, but only ever get round to doing stuff you want to do.

Never argue, agree to everything .... just don't actually ever do anything.

Learn to lie ..... lie a lot.

She wants to go to the village wedding/funeral, buy her a bus ticket, take her to the bus station. Enjoy your week of freedom.

Treat her like a sex toy and you will never be disappointed.

Don't spend money on uninvited guests .... never invite her family, don't go anywhere with her family of friends.

You aren't a real person to her, just a cash machine, cash machines don't have feelings.

But then neither do sex toys.

DO NOT SHOUT, DO NOT ARGUE ....... very bad manners and never works.

Excellent! Tommo don't <deleted> about! Haha

[Neeranam]

Have you never wondered why Thais use the pronound 'mun' after the word 'farang'?

Then you are conversing with Thais that disrespect us as a class, most likely in areas where we congregate. I have never come across that with normal Thais outside those areas.

And just because I use the word "cat" rather than "feline mammal" doesn't mean I think they're all the same (petting my much-loved mumsie-wumsie. . .)

Please everyone else who agrees with me that this idea of neeraram and ayayay's is a crock, please "Like this" or reply with a +1. . .

-1 Why the need for approval?

ALL Thais use 'mun' when talking about farang. Also used when talking about animals btw.

Have you ever wondered why the Chinese have prospered well in Thailand. They stood together and didn't call themselves 'jek', ( the Thai word for Chinese). They stood up for equal rights, learned the language, claimed Citizenship and didn't stand for any discrimination, unlike the whiteys of today.

Edited October 28, 2012 by Neeranam

[DavoTheGun]

Absolutely - referring to yourself as farang sets off a whole range of thoughts/actions from yourself and the Thai girl fleecing you that most people don't realize.

So since my prospective teeraks don't speak a word of English, just what word should I use when referring to "foreigners of European descent", or more generally as shorthand for "Westerner"?

And do you suggest I use the above quoted phrases when speaking English to fellow farang oops honkeys oops white guys?

Really? Enquiring minds would like to know.

What a crock of shiite. . .

You seem to be the only person who has made some sensible and objective comments about the dilemma I have, I have taken most of the comments from others on board and I am not stupid enough to totally disregard all of them, of course many are self serving, but thanks, for higher education is showing thru!

[Dancealot]

No, totally wrong.

In Thailand, if you meet a normal girl, she is much less likely to go with the asshol_e, than the western woman. Normal Thai girls, are much more attracted to nice guys, than western women are...

I agree with you to some extent on this (not at all about the farang BS but. . .)

But I think some of the disagreement comes from culture differences - you're not farang yourself right?

Western women are taught from birth that they need to make a living, should be independent, strong, equal to a man in every way, don't let yourself get pushed around etc.

IMO this goes against the instinctive grain of many women, who deep down would like to be taken care of, maybe not bossed around, but let the guy take the lead as long as what he's doing makes sense.

In my experience, the stronger the woman is ("ball-busting bitch" in chauvinist terms) the less respect she has for those men she's able to boss around.

It's just that there are far fewer of them here in Thailand than back home.

However when the western men come here, they bring all their mother's unconscious cultural programming with them. The Thai girls start out being all traditional, but the farang guys end up subconsciously training their Thai "partners" to become every bit as domineering as western women because they think that's what is "correct" and "nice".

Which is why I avoid like the plague any Thai girl that's had any personal experience with English or farang culture.

If I were to take her out on a date, I'd never make the mistake of asking her "what would you like to do?" or "what kind of food do you want to eat?" Because I know she'll just be panicking inside, thinking it's a trick question "how does he want me to answer?" Of course 99.9% of the time with a "nice girl" the answer is "up to you", and it's not just because you're the senior, you're paying, you're the man, it's actually the situation that makes her more comfortable, she's not qualified to make a decision like that.

It's my job to choose a restaurant or an activity that I know she'll enjoy, as the senior, I'm obliged to take her needs into account, or if not, at least be aware of that and make up for it in a different way later on.

Because Thai girls are so used to being treated in an insensitive way, one of the big attractions (besides being suckers they can bleed dry) is that we'll treat them decently more often than what they're used to.

But by our own cultural standards we're still looked on as selfish womanizing pigs.

The challenge is to find the balance, and self-awareness is half the battle.

Hahahahahaha you are right. So many still do not understand this.

[TommoPhysicist]

Absolutely - referring to yourself as farang sets off a whole range of thoughts/actions from yourself and the Thai girl fleecing you that most people don't realize.

So since my prospective teeraks don't speak a word of English, just what word should I use when referring to "foreigners of European descent", or more generally as shorthand for "Westerner"?

And do you suggest I use the above quoted phrases when speaking English to fellow farang oops honkeys oops white guys?

Kon Dtaang Chaat = person from another country.

If you really feel the need to be talked about as a foreigner and not just a person.

Personally, I don't feel my skin colour is relevant to any conversation with anyone in any country.

[Om85]

Man, I don't know what your situation is, but my wife, and non of the thai gf that had before ever asked me money,they have always respect my privacity, and they are very polite with me, maybe you need to get a new gf.

[Trembly]

Have you never wondered why Thais use the pronound 'mun' after the word 'farang'?

Then you are conversing with Thais that disrespect us as a class, most likely in areas where we congregate. I have never come across that with normal Thais outside those areas.

And just because I use the word "cat" rather than "feline mammal" doesn't mean I think they're all the same (petting my much-loved mumsie-wumsie. . .)

Please everyone else who agrees with me that this idea of neeraram and ayayay's is a crock, please "Like this" or reply with a +1. . .

-1 Why the need for approval?

ALL Thais use 'mun' when talking about farang. Also used when talking about animals btw.

Have you ever wondered why the Chinese have prospered well in Thailand. They stood together and didn't call themselves 'jek', ( the Thai word for Chinese). They stood up for equal rights, learned the language, claimed Citizenship and didn't stand for any discrimination, unlike the whiteys of today.

No they don't.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Hahahahahaha you are right. So many still do not understand this.

Thanks but not sure about the laughter, I didn't intend any of what I wrote to be funny, thought I was playing it totally straight. . .

[Berkshire]

What I've learned over the years about women--even western women--is that they despise wimps. Western women, for example, would not want an a-hole, nor do they want a wimp, but someone in between. Given a choice, they'd rather be with an a-hole over a wimp. For Thai women, multiply that by 10.

No, totally wrong.

In Thailand, if you meet a normal girl, she is much less likely to go with the asshol_e, than the western woman. Normal Thai girls, are much more attracted to nice guys, than western women are...

You're equating "nice guy" with a "wimp." NOT THE SAME THING. What I also said was that women in general would not want to be with an a-hole, but would prefer one over a wimp. I wish people would read my post.

The point is that Thai women prefer men who are confident and decisive, not one constantly asking her "where to eat," "what movie to go to," "what are you thinking," or always saying "yes dear" to every one of her little demands. That sort of thing.

[carmine]

What I've learned over the years about women--even western women--is that they despise wimps. Western women, for example, would not want an a-hole, nor do they want a wimp, but someone in between. Given a choice, they'd rather be with an a-hole over a wimp. For Thai women, multiply that by 10.

No, totally wrong.

In Thailand, if you meet a normal girl, she is much less likely to go with the asshol_e, than the western woman. Normal Thai girls, are much more attracted to nice guys, than western women are...

You're equating "nice guy" with a "wimp." NOT THE SAME THING. What I also said was that women in general would not want to be with an a-hole, but would prefer one over a wimp. I wish people would read my post.

The point is that Thai women prefer men who are confident and decisive, not one constantly asking her "where to eat," "what movie to go to," "what are you thinking," or always saying "yes dear" to every one of her little demands. That sort of thing.

What thai women prefer my friend is a well heeled man that can offer them total financial security. End of story. Thats not meant to be derogatory its simply the way it is.

[samran]

Don't know what being farang has anything to do with this.

Fact is fella - you have a high maintenece girlfriend and you don't have enough dosh to sate her whims.

She's keeping you holding on with that old trueism 'treat them mean, keep them keen'. And she's doing that to you.

Now this isn't about money. Even if you did have enough money, I'd advise cut and run.

[ayayay]

I agree with you to some extent on this (not at all about the farang BS but. . .)

Its BS at all, I don´t blame you though, as most of us laugh it off, will make another thread about it later, and maybe you will see what I mean.

But I think some of the disagreement comes from culture differences - you're not farang yourself right?

Nope, I am from Scandinavia, north western Europe.

[ayayay]

Western women are taught from birth that they need to make a living, should be independent, strong, equal to a man in every way, don't let yourself get pushed around etc.

Yes, for example in Sweden, and Norway, and the US, but not in Russia, Latvia for example (even though they are white skinned as well, and are referred to as farang by thais)

IMO this goes against the instinctive grain of many women,

In my experience, the stronger the woman is ("ball-busting bitch" in chauvinist terms) the less respect she has for those men she's able to boss around.

Yes, that is what I said, in western societies, girls goes for the alpha male much more than in thai society.

However when the western men come here, they bring all their mother's unconscious cultural programming with them.

Yes, true, but you also forget, that many thai women that are attracted to foreigners, are also a certain type of thai girl, it is not the general thai girl.

Usually they are more demanding, and less shy. Think about in your own home country, there are some places where people with a lot of money usually hang around. All girls in your country would not be interested in hanging out in these places, some girls are though constantly hanging around these rich people.

I am not saying that thai girls who dates foreigners are hookers, I am just saying that those girls are not the average girl.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Yes, true, but you also forget, that many thai women that are attracted to foreigners, are also a certain type of thai girl, it is not the general thai girl.

Usually they are more demanding, and less shy. Think about in your own home country, there are some places where people with a lot of money usually hang around. All girls in your country would not be interested in hanging out in these places, some girls are though constantly hanging around these rich people.

I am not saying that thai girls who dates foreigners are hookers, I am just saying that those girls are not the average girl.

I don't know, the wealthy Chinese-Thai girls I come across are hard as nails on the inside.

There's also a major city/country split here as well.

Just reinforcing my own preferences - poor upcountry inexperienced traditional family no exposure to westerners.

[transam]

Yes, true, but you also forget, that many thai women that are attracted to foreigners, are also a certain type of thai girl, it is not the general thai girl.

Usually they are more demanding, and less shy. Think about in your own home country, there are some places where people with a lot of money usually hang around. All girls in your country would not be interested in hanging out in these places, some girls are though constantly hanging around these rich people.

I am not saying that thai girls who dates foreigners are hookers, I am just saying that those girls are not the average girl.

I don't know, the wealthy Chinese-Thai girls I come across are hard as nails on the inside.

There's also a major city/country split here as well.

Just reinforcing my own preferences - poor upcountry inexperienced traditional family no exposure to westerners.

Really.

[cooked]

What I've learned over the years about women--even western women--is that they despise wimps. Western women, for example, would not want an a-hole, nor do they want a wimp, but someone in between. Given a choice, they'd rather be with an a-hole over a wimp. For Thai women, multiply that by 10.

No, totally wrong.

In Thailand, if you meet a normal girl, she is much less likely to go with the asshol_e, than the western woman. Normal Thai girls, are much more attracted to nice guys, than western women are...

You're equating "nice guy" with a "wimp." NOT THE SAME THING. What I also said was that women in general would not want to be with an a-hole, but would prefer one over a wimp. I wish people would read my post.

The point is that Thai women prefer men who are confident and decisive, not one constantly asking her "where to eat," "what movie to go to," "what are you thinking," or always saying "yes dear" to every one of her little demands. That sort of thing.

When I say 'yes dear' (hissed) my wife knows that something has gone wrong. I can't remember what UK TV series many years ago had a character that said 'yes dear' to his wife.

[TommoPhysicist]

What I've learned over the years about women--even western women--is that they despise wimps. Western women, for example, would not want an a-hole, nor do they want a wimp, but someone in between. Given a choice, they'd rather be with an a-hole over a wimp. For Thai women, multiply that by 10.

No, totally wrong.

In Thailand, if you meet a normal girl, she is much less likely to go with the asshol_e, than the western woman. Normal Thai girls, are much more attracted to nice guys, than western women are...

You're equating "nice guy" with a "wimp." NOT THE SAME THING. What I also said was that women in general would not want to be with an a-hole, but would prefer one over a wimp. I wish people would read my post.

The point is that Thai women prefer men who are confident and decisive, not one constantly asking her "where to eat," "what movie to go to," "what are you thinking," or always saying "yes dear" to every one of her little demands. That sort of thing.

When I say 'yes dear' (hissed) my wife knows that something has gone wrong. I can't remember what UK TV series many years ago had a character that said 'yes dear' to his wife.

Richard Briars in "The Goodlife"

[billd766]

What I've learned over the years about women--even western women--is that they despise wimps. Western women, for example, would not want an a-hole, nor do they want a wimp, but someone in between. Given a choice, they'd rather be with an a-hole over a wimp. For Thai women, multiply that by 10.

No, totally wrong.

In Thailand, if you meet a normal girl, she is much less likely to go with the asshol_e, than the western woman. Normal Thai girls, are much more attracted to nice guys, than western women are...

You're equating "nice guy" with a "wimp." NOT THE SAME THING. What I also said was that women in general would not want to be with an a-hole, but would prefer one over a wimp. I wish people would read my post.

The point is that Thai women prefer men who are confident and decisive, not one constantly asking her "where to eat," "what movie to go to," "what are you thinking," or always saying "yes dear" to every one of her little demands. That sort of thing.

When I say 'yes dear' (hissed) my wife knows that something has gone wrong. I can't remember what UK TV series many years ago had a character that said 'yes dear' to his wife.

It was Basil Fawlty in Fawlty towers.

I usually say yes dear to my wife and one day my ear will hurt es[ecially if she ever listens to me.

Sorry Sybil dear.

[tinfoilhat]

I think that everyone ought to be made to read 4 books before they're allowed into Thailand:

Mai Pen Rai means never mind - Hollinger

Thailand Fever - Pirazzi and Vasant

Culture Shock Thailand - Cooper and Cooper

Wondering into Thai Culture - Redmond

There ought to be a HUGE sign at Suvarnabhumi visible to all new arrivals that says 'Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more'.

thank you for not adding Private Dancer to the list.

I pity people who quote that book as definitive.

respect

[SteeleJoe]

I think that everyone ought to be made to read 4 books before they're allowed into Thailand:

Mai Pen Rai means never mind - Hollinger

Thailand Fever - Pirazzi and Vasant

Culture Shock Thailand - Cooper and Cooper

Wondering into Thai Culture - Redmond

There ought to be a HUGE sign at Suvarnabhumi visible to all new arrivals that says 'Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more'.

thank you for not adding Private Dancer to the list.

I pity people who quote that book as definitive.

respect

Seconded.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

[tinfoilhat]

Yes, true, but you also forget, that many thai women that are attracted to foreigners, are also a certain type of thai girl, it is not the general thai girl.

Usually they are more demanding, and less shy. Think about in your own home country, there are some places where people with a lot of money usually hang around. All girls in your country would not be interested in hanging out in these places, some girls are though constantly hanging around these rich people.

I am not saying that thai girls who dates foreigners are hookers, I am just saying that those girls are not the average girl.

I don't know, the wealthy Chinese-Thai girls I come across are hard as nails on the inside.

There's also a major city/country split here as well.

Just reinforcing my own preferences - poor upcountry inexperienced traditional family no exposure to westerners.

you started out pretty strong on your return to the board but this is about the third thread today in which ive seen you reverting back to your standard line.

[DavoTheGun]

Yes, true, but you also forget, that many thai women that are attracted to foreigners, are also a certain type of thai girl, it is not the general thai girl.

Usually they are more demanding, and less shy. Think about in your own home country, there are some places where people with a lot of money usually hang around. All girls in your country would not be interested in hanging out in these places, some girls are though constantly hanging around these rich people.

I am not saying that thai girls who dates foreigners are hookers, I am just saying that those girls are not the average girl.

I don't know, the wealthy Chinese-Thai girls I come across are hard as nails on the inside.

There's also a major city/country split here as well.

Just reinforcing my own preferences - poor upcountry inexperienced traditional family no exposure to westerners.

you started out pretty strong on your return to the board but this is about the third thread today in which ive seen you reverting back to your standard line.

It is interesting just looking at the various views from you guys, especially the Professorial Posters, And mudslinging always seems to prevail, Just on another note, I have concluded that my GF will not bring her clothes back, yet because of "Face" and loss therof, she was seen leaving with all her gear, and to be seen to bring back would br loss of Face, am I right on this assumption?

[BigJohnnyBKK]

It is interesting just looking at the various views from you guys, especially the Professorial Posters, And mudslinging always seems to prevail, Just on another note, I have concluded that my GF will not bring her clothes back, yet because of "Face" and loss therof, she was seen leaving with all her gear, and to be seen to bring back would br loss of Face, am I right on this assumption?

Plausible theory, but IMO much more likely she wants to have the freedom to look for her next sponsor while she knows she can still keep you dangling on the hook in reserve as her fallback plan.

Cut the line dude.

One good strategy is to hire a very beautiful but vicious player to be pretend to be your new girlfriend, but actually act as your bodyguard. Preferably trained in martial arts and also carrying weapons. . .

[noob7]

It is interesting just looking at the various views from you guys, especially the Professorial Posters, And mudslinging always seems to prevail, Just on another note, I have concluded that my GF will not bring her clothes back, yet because of "Face" and loss therof, she was seen leaving with all her gear, and to be seen to bring back would br loss of Face, am I right on this assumption?

Plausible theory, but IMO much more likely she wants to have the freedom to look for her next sponsor while she knows she can still keep you dangling on the hook in reserve as her fallback plan.

Cut the line dude.

One good strategy is to hire a very beautiful but vicious player to be pretend to be your new girlfriend, but actually act as your bodyguard. Preferably trained in martial arts and also carrying weapons. . .

The other way will clear it up:

Get a 'new' male in the game, trying to date her. On the way to her cloth change will be a good time, for a "whow, you are so pretty, do you have a boyfriend or a sister?" speed dating. The only thing, you need to be able to accept that this guy can be the known next 'sleepover'!

[DavoTheGun]

It is interesting just looking at the various views from you guys, especially the Professorial Posters, And mudslinging always seems to prevail, Just on another note, I have concluded that my GF will not bring her clothes back, yet because of "Face" and loss therof, she was seen leaving with all her gear, and to be seen to bring back would br loss of Face, am I right on this assumption?

Plausible theory, but IMO much more likely she wants to have the freedom to look for her next sponsor while she knows she can still keep you dangling on the hook in reserve as her fallback plan.

Cut the line dude.

One good strategy is to hire a very beautiful but vicious player to be pretend to be your new girlfriend, but actually act as your bodyguard. Preferably trained in martial arts and also carrying weapons. . .

The other way will clear it up:

Get a 'new' male in the game, trying to date her. On the way to her cloth change will be a good time, for a "whow, you are so pretty, do you have a boyfriend or a sister?" speed dating. The only thing, you need to be able to accept that this guy can be the known next 'sleepover'!

That my friend is a very good idea, will work on that one soonest!

[noob7]

It is interesting just looking at the various views from you guys, especially the Professorial Posters, And mudslinging always seems to prevail, Just on another note, I have concluded that my GF will not bring her clothes back, yet because of "Face" and loss therof, she was seen leaving with all her gear, and to be seen to bring back would br loss of Face, am I right on this assumption?

Plausible theory, but IMO much more likely she wants to have the freedom to look for her next sponsor while she knows she can still keep you dangling on the hook in reserve as her fallback plan.

Cut the line dude.

One good strategy is to hire a very beautiful but vicious player to be pretend to be your new girlfriend, but actually act as your bodyguard. Preferably trained in martial arts and also carrying weapons. . .

The other way will clear it up:

Get a 'new' male in the game, trying to date her. On the way to her cloth change will be a good time, for a "whow, you are so pretty, do you have a boyfriend or a sister?" speed dating. The only thing, you need to be able to accept that this guy can be the known next 'sleepover'!

That my friend is a very good idea, will work on that one soonest!

I know, I've been he bait before!

[BigJohnnyBKK]

That my friend is a very good idea, will work on that one soonest!

Did you actually understand the idea?

Get another guy to try to bonk your girl presumably offering a decent rate, if he isn't really young 'n hansum.

If he succeeds then it's much easier for you to let her go.

If she says oh no I have a wonderful Aussie boyfriend who I love too mutt, well then maybe you give her another chance (or she saw through your scheme!)

PS I volunteer if you put up the dosh, I promise not to keep her 8-)

Edited October 30, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[DavoTheGun]

That my friend is a very good idea, will work on that one soonest!

Did you actually understand the idea?

Get another guy to try to bonk your girl presumably offering a decent rate, if he isn't really young 'n hansum.

If he succeeds then it's much easier for you to let her go.

If she says oh no I have a wonderful Aussie boyfriend who I love too mutt, well then maybe you give her another chance (or she saw through your scheme!)

PS I volunteer if you put up the dosh, I promise not to keep her 8-)

I am in, how do we work this?

[DavoTheGun]

Off the general forum, for all the mugs out there/