Are We In A 'falang Bubble'?

[uptheos]

Good luck to them, not my business.

If only more would take this attitude.

[JetsetBkk]

<snip>

Pool and foosball of course.

<snip>

Foosball!

Where? Where?

[jacktrip]

everyone needs a nice bubble. if its close to town you can leave when you want to and escape back in afterwards.

if the bubble has problems it means you need to clean it.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

relevant

and this

Edited October 31, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[fletchsmile]

I can relate to an extent Jaideeguy. As time goes by your priorities shift. Like you, married with 2 kids I don't make the efforts that I used to, although based in BKK the bubble is smaller than it was, but it's still a reasonable size bubble.

One important point to add is that Thai society generally has a bubble around it. As a foreigner you will never be fully regarded as one of them, and will never actually be a part of society in the same way. Accept this and you can be happy here. People who rant and rave about Thailand and leave dejected have often not accepted the fact they don't belong with the advantages and disadvantages this brings, so they still carry on in frustration.

I used to make great efforts to integrate into society, but don't bother so much now with my understanding and acceptance of how things work. A natural progression is to create your own bubble and limits, especially if up country. Luckily in BKK there are some Thais I can relate to and have as friends, and have a very good number of foreign friends. To be honest though I make less of an effort than I used to in meeting new friends.

Up country as you say, nice for short periods of time, but unlikely to establish real deep connections with like minded people, so no point wasting your efforts trying to make things what they aren't. Just enjoy what you have and be happy with yourself - with a wife and 2 kids you're already very lucky in life

Edited October 31, 2012 by fletchsmile

[payak]

my bubbles bordered by burma,cambodia and laos, sometimes I exit my bubble.

[pmem]

I had been living on and off in Thailand for 40 plus years and decided to retire in country Thailand 2 years ago to live in a bubble. Its definitely an age thing but also a personal and not a forced choice.

[mauGR1]

All in all, IMHO, the bubble is a great asset.

Best of all, you can shape your bubble the way you like.

[payak]

i would hate for someone to burst my bubble,

[poanoi]

My bubble just got smaller.

It has been revealed that a man got jailed for an traffic offense.

And i have personally been accused falsely for traffic offense, twice,

So that mean i am now subject to a jail sentence just for driving legally,

and will not go outside the house again for as long as i stay in Thailand.

[cooked]

This is another thread that has nothing to do with Thailand but is about getting old. Leicester, UK town centre used to be a most direly boring place on a Saturday night. It is now regularly filled with drunken yobs abusing each other. Was it Socrates that complained about the way things had changed since he was a lad? Of course they had, you get older. That's why some people cocoon themselves. I don't give a s**t myself, never have.

[jaideeguy]

my bubble is getting invaded this coming holiday season!!! The wife just informed me that not only is Papa and grandson visiting [who I invited], but also surprise guests just invited themselves.....her nephew and his girlfriend and 2 more of his surprise friends......6 people are invading my bubble, yikes!! I did have to draw the line last night and tried to tell her that the 2 friends were a bit too much, and lets just keep it family. Now, I'm the 'grumpy falang' [who pays the bills].

[BigJohnnyBKK]

My house gets regularly invaded by upcountry villagers, and mostly not the ex-in-laws. Not quite teeming hordes, but usually at least a dozen, sometimes when different groups overlap twenty!

The bottom and third floors are my private areas (except for my kids), and I might chip in an extra B100 per day over and above our usual food budget but only if I'm flush ATM. They all just camp out on the floor wherever they can fit, sometimes if it's not raining out on the roof/patio, so not much skin off my nose except maybe the kitchen smells 8-). Sometimes actually a pretty nice atmosphere, all the relatives get to see everyone's getting well taken care of, lots of hopeful chatter about the future, usually a positive experience overall, and I know my kids certainly love it, "takes a village" and all that.

[villagefarang]

Our place is too clean and it gives them the creeps. So fortunately for me they stay with other relatives.

[jaideeguy]

We all know that life here in our bubbles is regulated by a series of drawing lines but bending when you have to. I try to draw the line at relatives or close friends of the wife or they will invite the whole dam_n village. I objected to the 2 friends of the nephew, but not his girlfriend and the fact that there was no consulting with me before wife told them to come. they will be arriving by bus and guess who will be playing taxi driver, tour guide, etc. The space for the guests is not that much of a problem, as luckily we have a couple of guest houses......but I do resent the invasion without notice and dread the drinking that will go along with the invasion. Call me a grumpy old falang, but respect my space [bubble]!!!

[theblether]

I'm reading the OP two ways.....one is the OP is fed up with the BS of daily life and the other is the OP is worried that he is in danger of isolating himself to his detriment.

OP.......you are the author of your own misfortune the more you withdraw the more incapable you will become of interacting with the outside world. You have created your own vicious circle.

If you think it's bad now just wait three years, you will become a social cripple.

Get out of the house every day and go play golf, cycle like vf does, take photos, have lunch with the locals,

Just go mingle with the World, then retire to your castle, close the door and enjoy your bubble.

It's your castle.......not your gilded cage.

good job "the blether'! it's not easy to pack that much nonsensical advice in five sentences.

i speak of course from my very own perspective... but the OP seems to agree with you.

Your perspective is warped as once again you have failed to grasp what the OP was saying, it must be getting embarrassing for you now Naam?

[bermondburi]

my bubble is getting invaded this coming holiday season!!! The wife just informed me that not only is Papa and grandson visiting [who I invited], but also surprise guests just invited themselves.....her nephew and his girlfriend and 2 more of his surprise friends......6 people are invading my bubble, yikes!! I did have to draw the line last night and tried to tell her that the 2 friends were a bit too much, and lets just keep it family. Now, I'm the 'grumpy falang' [who pays the bills].

I used to hate the big extended family gatherings that happened every so often . But after so many years of being in Thailand I got to like them . I could understand what they were saying , all I had to do was sit down and drink and eat with the other guys . They like me and we all get on . Whenever going to our house upcountry I would buy a crate and a bottle of something nice for the family and we have a bit of a do . Now I'm living in Saudi Arabia with my wife and kids I quite miss the simplicity of the life I had in the village with some of the nicest genuine people you could meet . Looking forward to seeing them all in 2014 .

[Vinny1967]

Just a word of advice to the OP and other people living in their "bubbles" .Isolating yourself away from everyday life is a sign of depression,or it can lead to depression.Believe me,I've been down that road and it ain't good.

[jvs]

Seems like more then a few folks live in a bubble,me also.It is not because of others you live there ,it is because of yourself and if you are comfortable there is nothing wrong with it.

It starts at a young age when all the other kids smoke but you don't because you just don't like the taste.

You are your own person and probably always have felt different from the rest and now here you have the time and the means to create your own little environment.

I finally live in the B i always wanted,big garden,a lot of animals,a few selected friends,(took years to find them) and a fantastic young lady who seems to also love the quiet life.

We do go out to the market and we meet friends at a swimming pool on Sundays.

Yes i do think it has also to do with age but i am almost happy i don't have the urge to do crazy stuff anymore.

To anyone living in a (comfortable) bubble,enjoy it to the fullest!

[willyumiii]

I think your situation is quite common among foreigners that have chosen to live out in the sticks.

Very rare with people who live in places like Bangkok, Phuket, or Pattaya. They seem more engaged in life.

I would say the exact opposite.

With a Thai wife in a small village you are more likely to be interacting with the local population

It is the people in Bangkok, Pattaya etc who live in the Farang Bar Bubble

I strongly agree

. The farang bubble is Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket. Those places are not the real Thailand. They are international playgrounds modified to suite foreigners who want to keep the lifestyles they "left" behind.

The real Thailand is the small cities, towns and villages where people live as Thai people, if they are Thai or from another country. If you don't love and try to understand the Thai people and their culture, stay in the Disney parks of Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket. You are better off and much safer there.

[JDGRUEN]

I call it 'Productive Solitude' ... being able to be alone and have interesting and productive things to do ... even money making things ... or just 'interests' - gardening, self education, researching family history, etc. But I also like interaction with others .. but usually on my terms...

[lovelomsak]

I definitely live in a bubble but have most of my life,not just Thailand.I have always had little time for people in general. So life in Thailand suits me just fine. Because I neither speak or read and wrute Thai I now have a built in excuse to not have to associate with people unless they are in my opinion worth my time.

[yourauntbob]

My bubble is more or less the same as it was when i lived back in the USA. I have a few close friends but most of my time is working or at home with the missus. The older I get, the more "bubbled" i get.

[ayayay]

Try to let go the "falang" identity, and do not promote it to the Thais.

Tell them, you know you have white skin, and no need to point it out all the time.

Tell them you would prefer to be viewed as a human more so than "white skin".

And gradually, we will be less isolated in Thai society, but it will take time.

But whatever you do, at least, try to avoid pointing out you are "falang" all the time, it will not help in the long run.

[candypants]

most people i know live in a bubble -- their family, their hobbies, their friends, their toys.

why should it be any different here?

[candypants]

I think your situation is quite common among foreigners that have chosen to live out in the sticks.

Very rare with people who live in places like Bangkok, Phuket, or Pattaya. They seem more engaged in life.

I would say the exact opposite.

With a Thai wife in a small village you are more likely to be interacting with the local population

It is the people in Bangkok, Pattaya etc who live in the Farang Bar Bubble

I strongly agree

. The farang bubble is Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket. Those places are not the real Thailand. They are international playgrounds modified to suite foreigners who want to keep the lifestyles they "left" behind.

The real Thailand is the small cities, towns and villages where people live as Thai people, if they are Thai or from another country. If you don't love and try to understand the Thai people and their culture, stay in the Disney parks of Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket. You are better off and much safer there.

reverse elitist twaddle.

[richardjm65]

I like my bubble. Since this thread began I've thought about the things I've done, the places I've been - I've had an interesting ride up to now, but I do think age has much to do with one's personal bubble. There's much that I've done before that I am not now able to do. I don't like 'chatter' and therefore my comfort zone, (that's another phrase that seems to be fairly recent), includes things that are fairly solitary, like books, radio and films and taking the time to watch and examine and think about my surroundings and, yes, even reading the opinions of others on TV, though I'm not much interested in getting involved in the slanging matches.

I am now more interested in finding out what I can about the various ailments that seem to go with ageing, how and why they occur, how to cope with them, and I suppose that rather increases one's introspection. I don't think I'm depressed, but I am conscious of needing to make the best of each day. I don't go to any Thai party where it is likely that the volume of the entertainment is going to prevail over the quality of it - where it becomes impossible to carry on a conversation and I'm therefore pleased to be able to avoid both the noise and the repetitive questions from the drunks.

I'm now in my 42nd year in S.E.A. and have no desire or intention to go back where I came from. I cannot think how my life would be improved by being there and so I contentedly continue in my bubble and cheerfully avoid the people and things that I don't like here. Got to take the rough with the smooth, don't you think? - taking care, of course, to circumnavigate the rough wherever possible...........

The beer's OK too.

[jasmineelizabeth]

i am definatley trying to create a safe bubble for myself,i live in an area about 17kms from bangkok central and am the only foreigner with stark white hair and skin that i have seen. which makes me interesting i guess to the thai people, i get photos taken of me - both with and without permission, stared at , laughed at, and in general i do not like going down the street or shopping or out of my apartment really to be honest. i have only been here for a short time and plan to move on next month sometime to a more touristy type place . I guess some are in a falang bubble and some arent.

BTW does anyone know where i can buy probiotics from? can i get some capsuals in the small chemists around the streets or am i needing to go into the city to find some?

[willyumiii]

I think your situation is quite common among foreigners that have chosen to live out in the sticks.

Very rare with people who live in places like Bangkok, Phuket, or Pattaya. They seem more engaged in life.

I would say the exact opposite.

With a Thai wife in a small village you are more likely to be interacting with the local population

It is the people in Bangkok, Pattaya etc who live in the Farang Bar Bubble

I strongly agree

. The farang bubble is Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket. Those places are not the real Thailand. They are international playgrounds modified to suite foreigners who want to keep the lifestyles they "left" behind.

The real Thailand is the small cities, towns and villages where people live as Thai people, if they are Thai or from another country. If you don't love and try to understand the Thai people and their culture, stay in the Disney parks of Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket. You are better off and much safer there.

reverse elitist twaddle.

&lt;deleted&gt; s a twaddle? Is that "British English"??

[Scully]

When I was with my gf I was in a Thai bubble, everything done for me, no need to speak Thai, cooking, cleaning, washing done for me.

Now I am single my home is now a drop in centre for westerners with wife troubles, this then leads to shall we do this or do that (usually involving alcohol).

My bubble burst a long time ago and I don't want to be in it again, for instance I am setting off soon for a night out 50 kilo's away, decided this morning. I couldn't do that in my Thai girlfriends bubble, unless I was prepared for a day of interigation and then a week of sulking.

Oh and I live in the sticks so interaction with the locals is a must, if I want to catch a bus or eat at the noodle shop I need to speak the lingo. Being alone has made me have to do everything myself and it's a kick up the backside that makes you integrate.

I will probably have a girlfriend next week though