Popular Post akspace Posted January 25, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted January 25, 2013 Wait 42 is too old for children? I'm not even considering my first one until I'm at least 40! No way I would have wasted my 20s with children and I'm not wasting my 30s now. Many of you are acting like you become invalid at 50 or 60, the reality is with modern medicine and a healthy life style you can be very active into your 70s (or later)! I regularly get outside with a couple of guys who are older then 65, we are talking skinning up 14,000' peaks, running marathons and riding centuries. To think you won't be able to handle a child yet you can still run 26 miles is absurd. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brewsterbudgen Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 I'm 52 and have never had kids. My GF wants kids when she's 25, which is 2 years away, so I feel it would be selfish of me to continue the relationship if I don't want to have kids. I must admit it was something I thought I'd missed out on, so I'm very excited about the prospects. The OP has kids already and doesn't seem excited about the prospects of more; so the answer is obvious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiG16 Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Moving to the Family forum hopefully you get more input there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inthepink Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 how old is your g/f .. when your child is 10 years old you will be 50 .. and then 70 ..is this fair to the child to lose a father so young .... <deleted> post i lost a parent young, nothing <deleted> about it Are you saying you'd rather you hadn't been born at all then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billd766 Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 I have read all the posts carefully and have come to the conclusion that it is up to the OP to make his own mind up. I can speak with a little experience as I had a wife and son back in the UK and I have a wife and son here in Thailand also. My first son will be 35 this year and my Thai son will be 9 this year. My first wife was 32 and the second was 39 when the child was born. They have both been worth sharing my life with but sadly due to pressure of work and bills to pay I couldn't spend so much time with my first son. My Thai son is now the light of my life and as the work and financial pressure is so much less I can spend much more time with him. Granted I cannot do as much physically as I could when I was younger but then I didn't have the time. My son makes me laugh so much with his antics and that in turn makes me feel younger. If I had the opportunity to go back in time to before my son was conceived and make that choice once again what would I say to my wife. Go for it and have the child. I am behind you all the way. As for me I will be 69 in May and thoroughly enjoying my life with my Thai son and wife. Have a nice day, I know I am. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardenedSoul Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Your lady is Thai... From your post she does not yet have children... Yes, imo it is very selfish to get into a relationship with a girl who is eager for children yet you are not.. You may be about to die in the next 20 years, but your lady probably has 40 or 50 (depending on your age gap)... Why should she be forced to be alone after you kick the bucket? Perhaps if you are not into having kids, you should go find a 50 year old lady to have s3x with. To even ask this question is stupid... Your a pathetic, piece of sh17 Maybe you should talk to your mrs about her getting a decent bloke on the side? Agree with the initial sentiments but is there really a need to abuse the guy like that? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Your lady is Thai... From your post she does not yet have children... Yes, imo it is very selfish to get into a relationship with a girl who is eager for children yet you are not.. You may be about to die in the next 20 years, but your lady probably has 40 or 50 (depending on your age gap)... Why should she be forced to be alone after you kick the bucket? Perhaps if you are not into having kids, you should go find a 50 year old lady to have s3x with. To even ask this question is stupid... Your a pathetic, piece of sh17 Maybe you should talk to your mrs about her getting a decent bloke on the side? Agree with the initial sentiments but is there really a need to abuse the guy like that? Lets be honest here, this is nothing to do with kids, its all to do with security on the womans part. In her mind she thinks having children will bring security, next will be the land and house, probably right next door to mama. As for being selfish, why doesnt the girl get a partner closer to her own age, that way they can grow old together rather than relying on a child to support her. If I was the OP I would be on my bike. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rct99q Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Dude your are getting advice from a group of people who are pressing 70 and starting a family. You would be one of the youngest to be starting a family....heck last week I ran into an old geezer complaining about stuff and out trots his wife and new born...I nearly choked on my tacquito when I learned he was 88....he asked me how old I was (with a new born) I said 46, he asked why I was starting so early! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibeachlovers Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Would be a very big mistake to do something that makes you want to vomit for any reason. What happens after the child is born and becomes the center of your wife's world? Did you take up with her for yourself, or so that she can have a child at your expense? No brainer to me. Don't, or you'll be thinking "why did I do that stupid thing" when it's too late. Can't sell a child if you don't like the result. Also, there is more risk to have a genetic defect if a parent is old. Unlike in the country you left behind, there really are "plenty of fish in the sea" in Thailand if she won't accept your wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibeachlovers Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Depends on the reason the OP hooked up with his partner. If he did so for himself then he's under no obligation to do something he doesn't want to. If she wants children, she should have made that clear at the start of the relationship, not after it has advanced. There is a phsychological term for that behaviour. Personally, if my wife had insisted on children, she would never have been my wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevvy Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 how old is your g/f .. when your child is 10 years old you will be 50 .. and then 70 ..is this fair to the child to lose a father so young .... <deleted> post so to lose your father is a life changing thing for a young child to go through , to grow up when you are in your teenage years without a father is the worst thing no <deleted> about it , Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevvy Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Your lady is Thai... From your post she does not yet have children... Yes, imo it is very selfish to get into a relationship with a girl who is eager for children yet you are not.. You may be about to die in the next 20 years, but your lady probably has 40 or 50 (depending on your age gap)... Why should she be forced to be alone after you kick the bucket? Perhaps if you are not into having kids, you should go find a 50 year old lady to have s3x with. To even ask this question is stupid... Your a pathetic, piece of sh17 Maybe you should talk to your mrs about her getting a decent bloke on the side? Agree with the initial sentiments but is there really a need to abuse the guy like that? i see by your writing that you are a happy man living a happy life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manarak Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 So we come to Thailand and marry our respective Thai partners No, not all of us do come to do that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommoPhysicist Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 (edited) At nearly 60, I have a 1 year old and my wives are wanting (at least) one more each. It's great, go for it and forget what the child-haters (and ageists) are saying, you are never too old. The more, the merrier. As many western families are now single mothers with children, being a dead/absent father doesn't appear to be a problem or worry for the future. Edited January 25, 2013 by TommoPhysicist 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardenedSoul Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 At nearly 60, I have a 1 year old and my wives are wanting (at least) one more each. It's great, go for it and forget what the child-haters (and ageists) are saying, you are never too old. The more, the merrier. As many western families are now single mothers with children, being a dead/absent father doesn't appear to be a problem or worry for the future. The height of irresponsibility but I couldn't have expected anything different from someone who believes the true measure of a real man is his ability to father children Just out of interest, will your pension stretch sufficiently to provide a decent education for your litter or are you just hoping that by the time they're of age, it'll be someone else's problem? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 how old is your g/f .. when your child is 10 years old you will be 50 .. and then 70 ..is this fair to the child to lose a father so young .... <deleted> post i lost a parent young, nothing <deleted> about it <deleted> post* ... kevvy As for muythai2013 ... they are not related events ... sad events sure, and I'm sorry for your early loss ... but the OP's opening statement and what you wrote are not mutually exclusive events. BTW ... my dad was in his 50's when I was born. BOY ... AM I GLAD THAT HE MADE THAT DECISION . 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krisb Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 My advice to you would be dont listen to much to the strangers who dont know you on here. You would be silly to do so. Sit down, write a pros and cons list, talk it through with your family and friends who know you for advice. When it comes to something as personal as starting a new life, for gods sake dont take advice on here to seriously or personally please. BTW, our half Thai baby is 1 month old now and she is gorgeous! They make the loveliest cutest kids. Its a great combination Thai/Western. Good Luck! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phronesis Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Man up and have two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Buy her a dog and see how she goes with that for a few years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gweiloman Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 I'm 51, have two kids from a previous marriage (currently 15 and 17 yrs old, living with their mum in the UK), and a toddler of 1 1/2 yrs old. He brings a smile to my face every morning, and one of the main reasons I'm glad to be alive. I wasn't especially thrilled when my wife announced her pregnancy to me back then but I'm so glad now. Having said that, I'm thankful that I have managed to already set aside sufficiently for all my 3 children to be properly educated up to uni level. After that, they're on their own till I kick the bucket and will share equally in what's left behind for them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Usual blinkered advice from those who never had children in their 50's I guess, some may even have non at all, amazing isn't it...... You failed to give your advice... I'm all for taking life by the tail and giving it a good swing, no reason the OP can't do it, unless he doesn't want to...then don't!! Really is that simple, would I do it? yes, I have, I did, and life is good, and I agree with the poster who says leaving a wife with two grown kids when you do depart this life, is far better than leaving her alone.....of course this buggers up the 'selfish' comments a bit don't you think? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolf5370 Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 I think you are not ready - otherwise you would not be feeling the way you are and not be asking us for advice. I think you need to let it stew in your sunconscious for a while - don't stress it, let it work itself out. When you have made your decision - or am at least clear in your own mind what you want - then sit down with her and talk it through. Either way, it is something you must agree on together or, if it is important enough an issue for her, then go your separate ways. On the other side of things, fifty is no longer too old to be having kids - any more than 30 was 50 years ago. If you were 70, then you would have to take life expectancy and stress in to consideration, but fifty is not that old any more. I have had three sets of kids in my life - a misshap at 15 (baby was adopted - I had no say); first marriage (broke up after 2 years with 2 kids - I paid their way she had residency - and at 14 the boy came to live with me - now post Uni working in London); finally my current wife (of 15 years) and our two girls 11/13 (age gap <7 years). I'm 42 now, love my kids to bits. Had the snip a long time back - although after the girls go to uni, I would not be adverse to adopting a little boy - perhaps not baby though, toddler perhaps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancealot Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Usual blinkered advice from those who never had children in their 50's I guess, some may even have non at all, amazing isn't it...... You failed to give your advice... I'm all for taking life by the tail and giving it a good swing, no reason the OP can't do it, unless he doesn't want to...then don't!! Really is that simple, would I do it? yes, I have, I did, and life is good, and I agree with the poster who says leaving a wife with two grown kids when you do depart this life, is far better than leaving her alone.....of course this buggers up the 'selfish' comments a bit don't you think? Noted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barefoot1988 Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 perhaps a better question would be "What is it like to have a adolescence child at mid 60s" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 Bless her, she wants to 'clinch the deal'. I feel silly for commenting now, as you clearly know her. After all no Thai female could ever have a legitimate wish to have children. I nowhere suggest that 'clinching the deal' is not a legitimate reason to have children. I trust you can accept that as much as I accept that you would not claim no Thai woman would ever want a child in order to 'clinch the deal'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billd766 Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 (edited) how old is your g/f .. when your child is 10 years old you will be 50 .. and then 70 ..is this fair to the child to lose a father so young .... <deleted> post i lost a parent young, nothing <deleted> about it <deleted> post* ... kevvy As for muythai2013 ... they are not related events ... sad events sure, and I'm sorry for your early loss ... but the OP's opening statement and what you wrote are not mutually exclusive events. BTW ... my dad was in his 50's when I was born. BOY ... AM I GLAD THAT HE MADE THAT DECISION . I know that feeling as my Mum was 40 and my Dad 55 when I was born. Following along the lines of the fathers possible early death, I was 14 when my Dad died at 69, followed by becoming an orphan at 29 when my Mum died 15 years later. I have a brother in Canada who will be 83 this year and if my first brother had lived more than 6 months I would have an 85 year old brother too. When I did all my retirement planning back in 2002 the GBP was 72 THB and I planned on just me and my wife. Now there is me, wife, son, MIL and nephew living here at 46.50 THB. Plans change and you either live with and change also or give up, abandon your Thai family and just live for yourselves. I know what I did and I can hold my head with pride anywhere. It is Saturday afternoon, the sun is shining so go have a good day. I am. It's great to be alive and with the family. Edited January 26, 2013 by billd766 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billd766 Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 My advice to you would be dont listen to much to the strangers who dont know you on here. You would be silly to do so. Sit down, write a pros and cons list, talk it through with your family and friends who know you for advice. When it comes to something as personal as starting a new life, for gods sake dont take advice on here to seriously or personally please. BTW, our half Thai baby is 1 month old now and she is gorgeous! They make the loveliest cutest kids. Its a great combination Thai/Western. Good Luck! This is probably the best advice I have read yet and that includes mine. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rixalex Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 As many western families are now single mothers with children, being a dead/absent father doesn't appear to be a problem or worry for the future. A worry perhaps for the father... the being dead bit i mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billd766 Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 As many western families are now single mothers with children, being a dead/absent father doesn't appear to be a problem or worry for the future. A worry perhaps for the father... the being dead bit i mean. Actually being dead is not really a problem to you though it may be to the rest of the family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rixalex Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 Actually being dead is not really a problem to you though it may be to the rest of the family. Not a problem but a worry... well that is if you fear death.. perhaps you don't... if so, i envy you. I enjoy life too much to not find the thought of it ending extremely depressing. Perhaps this is something you become more at ease with the older you get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now